Chapter 27 : The Following Gaze (3)

In the darkened hospital room, at an hour when everyone was in dreamland, Jisung tossed and turned in his bed. He tried lying on his right side, then his left, even curling up with his back bent, attempting various positions to fall asleep, but he eventually gave up.

As he stared blankly at the hospital room ceiling, a voice came from beside him.

“Can’t sleep?”

Hyunwoo, who had been lying on the cot set up next to him, sat up and looked at him. At the worried gaze, Jisung slowly nodded.

“I think it’s because I took a nap. Don’t worry about it.”

It was a lie. There was another reason why he couldn’t sleep. Hyunwoo just stared at him. At the sight of Hyunwoo examining his complexion, Jisung felt as if his lie had been caught and forced a smile, saying.

“I’ll fall asleep if I just lie here. So, you should get some sleep too.”

Hyunwoo moved his lips for a moment, then gave a small nod. At that, Jisung smiled faintly and gently stroked Hyunwoo’s head. Hyunwoo smiled, his lips curving into a crescent as if he was pleased. He closed his eyes, feeling Jisung’s touch, and then slowly opened them when the hand was gone.

“Should we sleep together?”

“Stop joking and go to sleep.”

“I’m serious.”

Jisung smiled with a look of resignation at Hyunwoo who was speaking with sparkling eyes. After confirming that Hyunwoo was lying down in his bed again, Jisung blinked blankly and then closed his eyes. After a brief period of tossing and turning, he was finally able to fall asleep.

And he had the same dream again.

When he came to his senses, all he could see were the fallen Espers. Jisung reached out his hand to save them who were in agony. Jisung, who was guiding the Espers, caught sight of the sharp tip of a knife that had suddenly appeared at his side. A chilling sensation of flesh being cut sent shivers down his spine. Red blood flowed from his side, dripping from the knife to the floor. Drip, drip… The blood created a red carpet.

His breathing was unstable. His heart pounded loudly as if it would burst out. ‘I was stabbed. Me, with a knife…’ His labored breathing became choked, as if he were drowning.

It hurt. Even though he knew it was a dream and he wouldn’t feel the pain, the pain from that time was imprinted in his mind and brought it back. It was scary. The fear of dying like this was about to take over his mind when he heard a voice. A voice that sounded much more pained and agonized than his own, who had been stabbed, made Jisung’s heart sink.

‘Hyunwoo, Hyunwoo!’

He reached out his hand towards the screaming and wailing Hyunwoo, but he couldn’t reach him. He wanted to comfort the crying Hyunwoo, but his legs, which had lost control, would not move as he willed. Hyunwoo was in pain, but he couldn’t even get close. No matter how hard he tried to call out, no sound came out of his mouth, like a mermaid who had lost her voice.

‘Hyunwoo! Park Hyunwoo! Hyunwoo!!’

His pathetic voice, which could not become a sound, repeatedly disappeared into the air. The feeling of helplessness, of being able to do nothing but watch Hyunwoo break down in front of him, weighed down on his body.

‘No. Please move. I don’t want to lose Hyunwoo!’

‘Please, please, please…!’

He forced his stiff legs to stand. He stretched out his heavy arms, as heavy as water-logged sponges, and shouted Hyunwoo’s name with the feeling of vomiting blood.

‘Park Hyunwoo!!’

“Hyung…!”

At the clear voice ringing in his ears, Jisung’s eyes shot open. His wandering pupils found the person in front of him and showed a sign of relief. Jisung, who was gasping for breath, called out the person’s name with a voice that was functioning, unlike in his dream.

“Hyunwoo…”
“Are you okay? It looked like you were having sleep paralysis.”

Jisung looked at Hyunwoo’s hand, which was holding his own hand that had been reaching out into the air. He could feel the warm body temperature and the firm touch. He could feel his anxiously beating heart returning to a stable rhythm. Hyunwoo brushed Jisung’s sweat-drenched bangs with his hand.

“Did I wake you up?”
“No.”
“Liar.”

Hyunwoo smiled faintly at Jisung’s reply.

Sight, smell, hearing. Espers, whose senses were far superior and more sensitive than ordinary people, were always on high alert, even when they were sleeping.

He seemed to have fallen into a deep sleep, so deeply engrossed that he was acting out the dream in reality. His sleep talking couldn’t have been quiet. As proof, Jisung glanced at Yuaan. Yuaan seemed to be sleeping soundly without any movement, but Jisung, who had lived with him, could tell. Yuaan was pretending to be asleep. He was trying hard to act, with his eyes closed, so as not to worry Jisung.

As the surroundings became quiet, Yuaan, who was cautiously opening his eyes, flinched at the gaze that was staring at him. Jisung gritted his teeth as he watched Yuaan try to pretend that nothing had happened and go back to sleep.

‘I can’t laugh now.’

Jisung, who was trying to hold back his laughter out of consideration for Yuaan, who was being considerate of him, was startled by a hand stroking his eyes and looked up. Then his eyes met the black eyes that were looking at him. At Hyunwoo’s worried expression, Jisung gave an awkward smile.

“Are you anxious?”
“Huh?”
“You seem anxious whenever you’re about to fall asleep lately, and you’re not sleeping well. Are you, by any chance, having a nightmare?”
“…”

There was no way he would believe him if he said no. He could roughly guess what he looked like now from Hyunwoo’s serious expression. Jisung, after a small sigh, nodded in agreement. At that, Hyunwoo’s expression darkened.

“…What kind of nightmare are you having?”
“Hmm…”

‘Would it be okay to tell the truth? That I keep dreaming about that day, that it’s hard to even sleep properly because of it. Would it be okay to say that?’

Hyunwoo was already taking that day to heart. He wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do to add to Hyunwoo’s burden.

‘But it doesn’t seem like a good idea to just gloss over it either…’

Hyunwoo, who had been watching him frown and ponder, sat on the bed. He could feel the sheet dip slightly to the side. As Jisung turned his head, Hyunwoo leaned his forehead against his shoulder and opened his mouth.

“Is it because of me?”
“Huh?”
“The nightmare, is it about me?”
“No, no, no!”

Hyunwoo slightly lifted his head and looked at Jisung who was quickly denying it. “Really?” At his question with a tilted head, he moved his lips and then let out a small sigh.

“It’s not not about you. To be exact…”

He touched the wound on his side.

“I’m having a nightmare about that day.”
“…”

Jisung continued as he saw Hyunwoo’s eyes darken.

“The fallen Espers, the chilling sensation from behind, the pain of being stabbed… all of that appears in my dream, so…”
“…I’m sorry, for making you have such memories.”

Hyunwoo clenched his fists. After a moment of choosing his words, he bit his lip and lowered his head. Jisung brought his own forehead to Hyunwoo’s. Surprised eyes turned to Jisung. At that, he smiled faintly and opened his mouth.

“But what I’m most afraid of in my dream is not being able to save you.”
“Huh?”

Hyunwoo’s eyes widened like a surprised rabbit. At his questioning gaze, Jisung answered.

“You’re right here next to me now. But still, what if, at that time, I hadn’t been able to save you. What would have happened then… The fact that I might have lost you keeps making me have scary imaginations. So I guess that’s why it appears in my dreams. They say dreams are a reflection of the unconscious.”

Hyunwoo stared blankly at Jisung who was awkwardly smiling and rubbing the back of his neck. His thoughts momentarily stopped due to the unexpected answer. A smile gradually spread across his surprised face as he blinked his eyes. He hugged Jisung’s neck tightly. Jisung, who was hugged with his full weight, eventually couldn’t hold on and fell backward.

“Ouch!”
“Hehe!”

A playful laugh like a child’s was heard in his ear.

“You’re heavy, you little rascal.”
“You won’t have any more nightmares if I’m by your side.”
“Even so, it’s not right for two adult men to share a hospital bed.”
“It’s okay, you’re skinny so you fit perfectly in my arms, Hyung.”
“That hurts my pride in its own way.”

‘My dignity as a hyung…’

Jisung, who had been frowning, eventually gave up at the sight of the happy Hyunwoo. ‘Whatever.’ The gentle hands that were hugging him certainly made him feel stable. Jisung’s eyelids grew heavier and heavier. Fortunately, it seemed like he wouldn’t have a nightmare this time.

“Sweet dreams, Hyung.”