Chapter 28 : Sorry for bothering you

The alcohol was delicious, and
Time flew by.

I don’t know how many drinks I’d had when
Charlotte stopped me as I was about to order another.

“That’s enough.”
“Why?”
“We agreed you’d drink in moderation.”
“Did we?”

I replied nonchalantly, and she glared at me.

“Your eyes are glazed over. Time to go.”
“That’s mean, Shar. I’m fine…”
“You’re clearly not.”
“Tch.”

I clicked my tongue, letting her know
I was annoyed.

Charlotte’s glare intensified.

I decided not to push it.

Not because I was afraid of the consequences, but because I didn’t want to be on her bad side.

Besides, I was out of money.
Having spent my last gold coin on a few drinks, I got up to leave.

“I’m not being kicked out. I’m leaving on my own accord.”
“Sure.”

I won’t cause any trouble, so you’re not mad at me, right?

I almost said it, then stopped myself. Charlotte, with her cynical nature,
Wouldn’t appreciate it.

I must have been drunker than I thought.
I felt the urge to say silly things.

I left the gambling den.

It was dark outside.
The sun had just set, and I wandered aimlessly through the streets.

The alcohol hit me belatedly. I felt
Drunker than when I was actually drinking.

But I was fine.
I knew it was inconsiderate to return to Lucia’s reeking of alcohol, which meant I was still somewhat coherent.

I walked in circles, thinking about
What Charlotte had said. About me being too hard on myself.

I knew my self-esteem was practically nonexistent.

But there were reasons for that. It was the result
Of years, perhaps a lifetime, of experiences.

Failing at everything, never receiving affection, everything I did ending badly, everything falling apart because of me, because I was bad, because I should have stayed quiet, because I shouldn’t have existed…

I decided to rephrase it. I didn’t have low self-esteem, I was simply
Aware of my own shortcomings.

Was it really that harsh?

Charlotte was a strange woman.

“Sigh…”

I exhaled, trying to
Get rid of the alcohol fumes. A foolish endeavor.

…

As I continued walking,
I suddenly, coincidentally, or perhaps opportunely,
Sensed a presence.

A twig snapped, the sound echoing through the quiet night.

I looked towards the sound and gasped.

“Ah…?”

A flash of black hair, a shade distinct from the darkness of the night, disappeared behind a tree.

And I’d only known one person with such ebony hair.

She seemed startled, about to flee,
As if wanting to hide her presence.

I called out to her, my voice laced with a strange urgency,

“Wait, Karen, don’t go…”

Was I
That drunk, as Charlotte had said?

Was I hallucinating?

I hurried towards the tree, almost
Tripping in my haste.

Please, let it be her. Let me not be mistaken.

And what if it is? What are you going to do? A self-deprecating thought followed.

But still…

I didn’t know why I felt this way.

But as if answering my silent plea,
She remained where she was.

Frozen behind the tree.

Thank goodness.

“Karen.”
“…”

Relieved, I smiled.
Karen stared at me, mesmerized.

Why was Karen here?

I didn’t really care.

More accurately, I preferred simply being in her presence to questioning her motives.

This unexpected encounter, no, because it was unexpected,
Made it even better.

I stepped closer.

Karen frowned.

“You smell like alcohol.”
“I had a few drinks.”
“A few?”
“Yeah…”

I tried to hide my flushed cheeks, embarrassed.

Karen looked surprised.

“You… drink?”
“Sometimes…?”
“You shouldn’t be drinking yet.”
“Just… a little. I’m fine. See? I’m perfectly sober.”
“…You’re clearly not.”

It had been years
Since we’d had such a normal conversation.

And was it just me, or was Karen being unusually kind?

At the academy, she’d only glared at me.
Hurt me, insulted me, tormented me.

She’d even offered to hurt me. To inflict pain, since I liked it so much.

We were practically enemies. As long as I remained close to Lucia, Karen’s hostility would continue.

So why was she acting like this now?

Perhaps she’d finally understood.
My resolve to stay away from Lucia.

I knew, we both knew, that
We couldn’t go back to how we were before.

That’s why I’d said goodbye.

I’d thought I’d let go of my lingering feelings for her
When I saw her in the infirmary, high on drugs.

But I was wrong. I knew it now, seeing her again.

Why was I so selfish? I was pathetic.

But I spoke.

“I… hic… I have something to say…”
A hiccup interrupted me, but I didn’t hesitate.

My true feelings, fueled by the alcohol, poured out.

“I’m sorry.”
“…”
“Karen, I’m sorry.”

And once the dam broke, there was no stopping the flood.

I rambled, pouring out
Everything I’d wanted to say, everything I’d kept bottled up, to the girl I once loved.

I don’t know why you did that. Why you left. Why you hate me so much. But I’m sorry. I was wrong. I was lonely without you. I still am. Please, just stay with me a little longer. I won’t tell anyone. I’ll make sure no one finds out. Even if I’m embarrassed. I’m sorry. For being a burden.

With every word, my emotions intensified.

I was crying,
Begging her to forgive me.

Tears streamed down my face.

“Don’t make that face, Karen. Don’t… hate me…”
“…”
“Sob… I’m sorry, I won’t bother you anymore. Please, Karen…”

Don’t hate me.

Was I being unreasonable?
Was it too much to ask her not to hate me?

If even that was impossible, then
How was I supposed to treat her?

Karen looked down at me, her expression unreadable. But the absence of disgust
Reassured me.

“Titania.”

Hearing my name from Karen’s lips,
I looked up at her, like an obedient puppy.

I leaned closer, staring at her face,
Waiting for her to continue.

“I… you…”
“Yes…?”
“…”

But Karen couldn’t speak, her
Eyes filled with confusion.

I was afraid she’d change her mind.

Afraid she’d tell me to get away from her, her beautiful face contorted in disgust.

Afraid she’d leave and never return.

No, Karen. You promised to hurt me. To punish me. You promised.

Why are you looking at me like that?

Karen’s face was like a flickering candle, the flame about to be extinguished.

All the warmth of our reunion had faded, leaving only resignation.

Had she given up?
On me, the hopeless case?

I had to do something.
A chilling premonition told me I’d lose her forever if I didn’t.

“No, don’t… I don’t want that…”
“…Titania?”

A sudden, insidious thought took hold.

I didn’t know how to win her favor.
But I knew how to anger her.

I stood on my tiptoes.

The soft skin of her cheek brushed against my lips.

In the darkness of the night,
The sound of lips against skin echoed.
Again and again.

I smiled mischievously,
Hoping to anger her.

She wouldn’t leave until her anger subsided.

Just for tonight. Just for this night.
A few minutes, a few seconds more of her anger was all I wanted.

My actions, while impulsive, were also calculated.

And as expected,
A fire ignited in Karen’s eyes,
Melting the frozen facade.