Chapter 29 : It’s over already?

Karen couldn’t snap out of it.
She was completely captivated by Titania.

Small and delicate.

The way Titania stood on her tiptoes to reach Karen’s face was strangely endearing.

Titania leaned closer.

Karen’s gaze was drawn to her long, fluttering eyelashes, and then
She felt a soft press against her cheek.

A peck.

She’d lost count.
She didn’t have the composure to keep track.

The light pressure of Titania’s slightly dry lips against her cheek, repeated over and over, was overwhelming.

“…”

Titania seemed amused by Karen’s frozen state, her
Eyes crinkling at the corners.

Her usually vacant eyes sparkled with a mischievous glint.

She looked like a white fox in the snow.

“Mm…”

A soft moan, as if she enjoyed the feeling of her lips against Karen’s cheek, echoed in the night.

Everything about her was seductive. Her flushed cheeks, her actions, her very presence.

Even the usually repulsive scent of alcohol, mingled with Titania’s unique fragrance, was intoxicating.

Alcohol. She said she’d been drinking.

Why?

Karen had never drunk alcohol.

It wasn’t unusual. It wasn’t something someone her age should be doing.
It was against the rules.

But she knew it was something people used to soothe their troubled minds.

While she couldn’t pinpoint the reason for Titania’s drinking,
It definitely wasn’t out of celebration.

“Karen, I’m sorry…”

What was she apologizing for?

It couldn’t possibly be for the sudden kisses. She was still
Peppering Karen’s cheek with them, little peck, peck sounds echoing in the night.

After another kiss, Titania whispered, her voice trembling,

“Don’t hate me… okay?”

Hate her? For what? Karen wanted to ask.

But that would only confuse Titania further. She didn’t seem to
Understand what she’d done wrong.

She probably never would. It would be strange if she did.

Titania hadn’t done anything wrong.

Yet, she was pleading for forgiveness, driven by the sole desire to not be hated.

Just how terrible do you think you are, to act like this?

A fire burned in Karen’s chest.

It intensified when she realized that these were Titania’s true feelings, feelings she could only express when she was drunk.

“Karen, Karen…”
“…”

But the flames died down as she looked at Titania.

Her flushed cheeks, her pleading voice calling Karen’s name… She was mesmerized.

She snapped out of it when Titania
Crossed the line.

Titania, tilting her head,
Started moving her lips down Karen’s cheek.

Karen, realizing what was about to happen just as their lips were about to brush, recoiled, pushing Titania away.

“Wait, this is…!”
“Can’t I…?”
“…”

Tears welled up in Titania’s wide eyes, threatening to spill over. The sight
Made Karen’s heart ache.

Of course not. That’s what she should have said, but she hesitated.

Titania, mistaking her silence for consent, smiled and leaned in again.

But her attempt failed.

While Karen had missed her chance to speak, she managed to push Titania away, sighing in relief.

“…”
“…”

A tense silence hung in the air.

Titania’s sharp shoulder blades dug into Karen’s arms.

She was too thin, as Karen had noticed when she’d caught Titania from falling earlier.

It made her worry about whether Titania was eating properly.

And not just that. Her body was icy cold.

She didn’t feel like someone who’d been drinking.

What had happened to her in the past few years?

Karen didn’t ask.
She couldn’t.

She had no right.

It was hypocritical and disgusting.

She was the one who’d abandoned Titania. What right did she have to question her now?

“It was for your own good?” “I had my reasons?” “I thought you’d be better off without me?”

Such self-serving justifications would never reach Titania. Because Karen
Had made that decision herself.

“Karen, I’m cold…”
“…”

Karen wordlessly pulled Titania into a hug. Or rather, Titania
Had thrown herself into Karen’s arms.

Her small body fit perfectly against Karen’s. Titania nuzzled against her neck,
Acting spoiled.

“Hee.”

She giggled, then,
Seeing Karen’s lack of reaction, her expression darkened.

“Karen.”
“…”
“I’m curious.”

Curious about what?

Before Karen could ask,
Titania muttered,

“Why aren’t you angry…?”

Her small body trembled, not from the cold, but from something else.

Her anxiety was palpable.

“Get angry! I even did this…”
“…”
“Karen, this is strange. I don’t like it. I’m scared…”
“Titania.”
“You… you don’t… feel anything for me anymore. That’s how it feels…”

Titania wasn’t sobbing or whimpering.
Tears simply streamed down her face.

Karen couldn’t speak.
She didn’t know what to say, where to begin, or whether Titania would even understand.

Silence bred misunderstandings.

Titania, after a moment of quiet sobbing,
Suddenly pulled away from Karen’s embrace and took her hand,
Guiding it to her neck.

Titania smiled sadly.

“You said you’d hurt me… didn’t you?”
“This is…”
“You said you couldn’t stand seeing me hurt myself.”

She had, and she still felt the same way.

Titania used that as leverage.

“If you don’t do anything now… I…”

She trailed off, glancing at Karen,
Like a small animal afraid of overstepping its boundaries.

Her lips moved silently.

Her meaning was clear.

If you don’t do it, I will.
So hurt me.
And don’t hate me.

Karen felt suffocated.

How had things gotten this far?

This was too cruel.
Only one choice, one path.
And that path led to Karen hurting Titania with her own hands.

“…”

But she’d already made up her mind,
Back in the academy bathroom, when she’d seen Titania cutting herself.

She’d been so furious that day. The memory still
Made her shudder.

At least she was more composed now.

“Hurry…”

Titania seemed to be seeking validation,
Wanting to be useful, even if it was just as an outlet for Karen’s anger. Or perhaps, she was begging Karen to stay, even if it meant being hurt.

Karen couldn’t bring herself to correct her.

She was captivated by Titania.

Her silver hair, shimmering in the moonlight, her sorrowful smile…

Karen’s reaction was more intense than ever before.

Her body froze, her hand tightening around Titania’s slender neck, so fragile it felt like it could break with the slightest pressure.

And Titania got what she wanted.

“Gah, gasp, choke…”

Karen’s composure had been an illusion.

She questioned her own capacity for violence.

She couldn’t bring herself to loosen her grip.
She wanted to crush Titania’s throat.
Because she knew that’s what Titania wanted.

She continued to choke her until Titania went limp.

Karen, snapping out of it, quickly released her grip.

“Cough, hack, gasp, wheeze…”

Titania, slumped on the ground, her knees drawn to her chest, gasped for air.

The flush on her cheeks deepened, and
Karen was once again confused by her own loss of control.

But she quickly understood.

Titania always had this effect.
Her mere presence could make people lose their minds.

Even if they were both women.

Karen couldn’t acknowledge the desire that wasn’t born out of pure affection. Not again.

She hid her true feelings,
Using Titania as an excuse.

“Cough, gasp, ha… is it… over already…?”

Titania’s voice was laced with feigned disappointment, but
Karen couldn’t miss the genuine distress in her eyes.

She knew what Titania was thinking.

That Karen would leave if she didn’t do something to keep her anger alive.

How pathetic.

Karen decided to play along.

Perhaps she simply wanted to unleash her desires upon Titania. But regardless of her own motives, it was clear that
This was what Titania wanted.

Karen’s dark eyes darkened further.

If this is what you truly desire.

The composed, exemplary knight of the Pesillid Dukedom was gone, replaced by
Someone obsessed with inflicting pain.

Karen patted Titania’s cheek.
A silent command to stand up.