Chapter 30: The Divided Self

“You don’t have to feel sorry to me.”

“…….”

“Actually, don’t feel sorry to anyone ever again.”

“…Well, it’s not exactly like that….”

Yunhwan tried to voice his defense, but he was immediately cut off.

“You seem to be harboring a grudge against yourself because I lost my memory. But shouldn’t that idiot have just refrained from rolling down a mountain in the first place?”

The “past Min Seonghye” and the “present Min Seonghye” began to be distinguished through the mouth of the same man. When Yunhwan looked at him with trembling eyes, Seonghye’s gaze—which narrowly missed Yunhwan’s—was as cold as a blade.

Something had triggered him. Seonghye began to verbally tear his past self apart.

“Stupid bastard. Of all things, rolling down a mountain.”

“…….”

“Making someone feel guilty like this.”

“…He… he rolled down trying to save me.”

At that, Seonghye let out a blatant snort.

“If he hadn’t even done that much, I wouldn’t have left that bastard alone myself.”

Whoosh—

A rainy afternoon.

The heavy downpour, having swallowed the midsummer heat, beat incessantly against the car windows. The sound of rain drumming mercilessly against the bus roof and glass continued even after it reached the stop.

“Sanghee-ri. Please exit here.”

At the driver’s announcement, a few people gathered their bags and got off. A man was the last to disembark. The moment his feet touched the road—if you could even call it that—a sigh escaped his lips.

“Wow… He stayed here? In this godforsaken backwater?”

The man stood speechless for a moment, taking in the landscape. Mountains in every direction, and a village below that barely looked like ten houses. It was barely a village at all.

As he stood there, raindrops fell and slid repeatedly off his raincoat. Due to the heavy rain, the village was submerged in a thick fog, looking as though it were wrapped in a white ribbon. It was a bleak place even in midsummer, but unfortunately, this was to be his hideout. With a lingering sense of disappointment, he began to walk.

He turned on his phone and checked his message history, letting out a deflated sigh.

[Gyeongnam Baeksan-gun Huiwang-myeon Sanghee-ri. Orange roof.] 10:49 PM

– 10:49 PM [What about his name and age?]

[Kwon Yunhwan] 10:55 PM

[Hey] 10:55 PM

[If I tell you his age too, I’m basically spoon-feeding you.] 10:55 PM

[Earn your keep.] 10:55 PM

The messages, which had cut off a month ago, had resumed just recently. But something was strange.

[Can you arrive the day after tomorrow?] 06:20 AM

– 08:20 AM [It’s possible, but the pay…]

[Don’t worry about that. Contact me as soon as you arrive.] 08:23 AM

[There are many eyes around. Be careful not to cause trouble.] 08:23 AM

The tone had changed so much he wondered if it was a different person.

“What’s the point of changing the tone? Still no manners.”

Confirming the orange slate roof in the distance, the man stretched his neck. The metal tools inside his carrier clattered loudly as they rolled over the bumpy asphalt. He wiped the raindrops off his screen and hit the call button, but the phone was still off. His long-time client had been out of reach since yesterday.

“No boss provides after-sales service as reliable as mine…”

With a long sigh, he trudged forward. The raindrops grew heavier.

Having returned home with Seonghye this morning, Yunhwan had fallen into a nap and didn’t wake up until 1:00 PM. His mind, hazy with sleep, still craved rest, but he had already slept for two hours.

“…Seonghye…?”

Yunhwan staggered out into the living room.

“Seonghye-ya.”

Using the memory of them going to their separate rooms as a clue, he checked Seonghye’s room. Seonghye wasn’t there, but the room was perfectly tidy again. For a moment, goosebumps rose on Yunhwan’s skin.

‘No way…’

His feet shuffled back across the floor.

“This, this lit— No, wait.”

Did he run away again? Did he regain his memories that quickly? Having experienced all sorts of incidents during their first living arrangement, his mind immediately jumped to the negative. Tension surged through him. Just as he turned toward the front door, the bathroom door across from him swung open.

A solid physique emerged amidst a cloud of steam.

“What are you doing there?”

Seonghye, wearing only training pants, walked out while drying his hair.

“…Did you wash up?”

“I was hot. The rain makes everything feel sticky.”

Seonghye smiled casually and walked past Yunhwan toward the wardrobe. In that brief moment, Yunhwan felt a wave of heat radiating from him. Right—Seonghye was still in the middle of his Rut. Although the suppressants from yesterday and today were doing their job of blocking sexual impulses, the physical body heat seemed unavoidable.

“It’s hot. What should I wear?” Seonghye asked, gesturing toward the wardrobe.

He was shirtless, with water droplets still tracing paths down his back. His six-pack abs, however, were dry. To Yunhwan, who didn’t know Seonghye’s actual profession, his body alone was enough to suggest he didn’t belong to a common career path.

But regardless of that, the gaze Seonghye fixed on him was clear and transparent.

“If you don’t mind, can I just stay like this?”

The voice was flat, but thick with mischief. Yunhwan shook his head immediately.

“No, no.”

He pulled a black short-sleeved T-shirt from the drawer.

“Wear this. Black suits you.”

“That’s interesting. Someone I know said the same thing.”

“Someone you know? Who?”

“My father.”

Pulling on the T-shirt, Seonghye faced Yunhwan.

“Does black suit me?”

Against the black fabric, his skin looked even paler today, with a translucent quality from the shower. When Yunhwan nodded slightly in agreement, Seonghye’s lips curled into a smile.

“I have something I’m curious about.”

He leaned against the wardrobe and stared at Yunhwan. Being captured by those obsidian, glass-like eyes made Yunhwan reflexively clench and unclench his hands.

“…What are you curious about?”

“I heard it from Manager Park. That we were living together even before I lost my memory. He said I came here for a short convalescence, but honestly, that’s not important.”

“…Not important?” Yunhwan swallowed hard.

“What was my personality like before I lost my memory?” The expression behind the question was incredibly serious.

“Uh… personality?”

“Was it bad?”

Before Yunhwan could even formulate an answer, Seonghye’s ability to jump to conclusions was already at work. When Yunhwan shook his head slowly, Seonghye frowned, clearly not believing him.

“Did I make a mistake? Is that why you still get tense every time you see me?”

“It’s not that. Tense? I’m not…”

“Then why are your eyes shaking? I can’t trust you when you do that.”

He pushed off the wardrobe and stepped closer. Yunhwan tried to back away, but Seonghye grabbed his hand, preventing any retreat.

“I thought about it for a whole day at the hospital, and there’s one thing I just can’t figure out.”

“…….”

“Why didn’t I imprint on you before I lost my memory?”

Seonghye murmured as if he truly couldn’t understand. “The ‘me’ then and the ‘me’ now are the same person. Even if I’ve become an idiot now, my eyes should have been just as accurate back then.”

He pulled Yunhwan’s hand, leading him to sit on the bed, and locked eyes with him.

“I feel sorry for him. ‘That’ Min Seonghye.”

At the firm tone drawing a clear line, Yunhwan’s Adam’s apple bobbed.

“T-that guy… is also you.”

“No. Unless I regain my memories, he’s just a person of the past who has nothing to do with me.”

Seonghye smiled silently at Yunhwan. The smile was unusually refreshing today, as if trying to dilute a murky past. But as his smile brightened, an unidentifiable worry began to seep into Yunhwan’s eyes.

“…You don’t know. The previous Se-Seonghye… might have had someone he liked.”

“Someone other than you? Me?”

Seonghye let out a short, scoffing laugh. He looked genuinely baffled. However, Yunhwan’s expression turned solemn as he tried to persuade him.

“Don’t laugh. Think about it se-seriously. What if there was someone you truly loved before you lost your memory—”

“And?”

As their eyes met, Seonghye smiled quietly. Though the silent smile felt somewhat dry for some reason, Yunhwan pressed on.

“What if you imprinted on me just because you lost your memory? Will this imprint still be necessary after you regain your memories…?”