Chapter 32: Because You Only Had Me

On the day of the tournament, students are made to stand in the arena and fight.

Numerous students fight simultaneously, advance, fight, and advance again, repeatedly.

They say even F-ranks can rise to the top if they have the skill, it being a tournament format.

Even students who don’t participate have to come and formally withdraw.

So a familiar classmate came to visit in the morning.

I think it was the kid who sat next to the class president.

She said I didn’t have to come out if I just filled out the paperwork.

Of course, I refused and left the room.

Anyway, they say when you reach the finals, they even bring in outsiders and broadcast it nationwide.

I vaguely remember seeing it.

The image of adults in the small tavern in the village, watching a tiny TV with lots of black spots, chattering noisily, betting and making wagers comes to mind.

Still, it doesn’t seem as glamorous as what I saw on that small screen.

Maybe it’s because I’m F-rank, or maybe it’s because the finals haven’t even started yet.

The one-eyed teacher, arms crossed, looks at me with a dumbfounded expression.

“You actually crawled out on tournament day.”

I didn’t answer.

I didn’t know what to say.

“You didn’t attend classes, but it’s just students fighting each other.”

“Don’t die, even if you get hurt.”

“If you think you’re going to die, immediately shout that you forfeit.”

“The examiners will help you.”

One-Eye speaks as if certain I’ll lose.

“What if I win?”

“I haven’t seen your swordsmanship, so I don’t know.”

I shrugged and went to the waiting area in the arena’s basement.

Lots of kids were sitting there.

Judging by their slightly different uniforms, not just F-ranks, but other ranks were there too.

When a name was called, like “So-and-so from Class whatever,” the kids stood up and walked to the arena.

It seemed like one person went up every twenty minutes or so.

Well, it’s just kids our age, who are merely a bit strong physically, scuffling with blades.

It probably isn’t very entertaining.

Not glamorous either.

I found a suitable spot to lean my back against and closed my eyes.

Perhaps three or four hours passed.

I heard my name.

I heard classmates cheering, but honestly, I didn’t know who was who, so I just waved vaguely and started walking.

They said they provide weapons if you request them from the examiner before entering the arena.

Since I didn’t know how to use anything, I just asked for two one-handed axes.

The examiner waved their hand in the air, tossed me two one-handed axes, said good luck, and let me into the arena.

Green grass, blood splattered on the ground, perhaps from some of the people who fought here getting seriously injured, and earthen pits, likely from people kicking off the ground.

There were numerous seats, but only three people in suits, holding clipboards, were sitting.

And standing before me, a student holding a weapon.

A sword at his waist, a spear gripped tightly in both hands.

I slowly took a step forward.

But the opponent ran.

His uniform is slightly different from mine.

They said the uniforms are the same up to D-rank, so he must be C-rank.

The boy scattered fog from his fingertips and instantly vanished from sight.

Not long after, a spear flew towards me.

How can a frail girl like me dodge a spear flying incredibly fast from somewhere I can’t even see?

Anyway, it pierced me.

Strongly enough to make a hole in my left shoulder and slam me onto the ground.

As I tried to get up, I saw the boy standing over me, pointing his sword.

He wore a quite confident expression.

“Just give up and save yourself the trouble.”

“You don’t want to die here when it’s just a tournament, do you?”

“Hey, it’s no big deal if someone dies here, is it?”

The boy sighed, plunged his blade into my thigh, and twisted it.

That didn’t make me scream or shout in surrender.

It did hurt, though.

I just gripped the axe tightly and swung it at the boy’s ankle.

Screaming, he clutched his ankle and collapsed.

I grabbed the handle of the spear embedded in my shoulder and slowly pulled it out. My left shoulder trembled, and I dropped the axe I was holding.

I tossed the pulled-out spear onto the ground.

I considered drowning him in blood, but because of the eyes watching me, I decided against it.

This is something to use when my life is in more danger, when it’s a closer call.

Hye-yeon might see and become suspicious.

No words were exchanged.

‘What was the prize for winning again?’

‘Some association, some position, some guild, some equipment – things I wasn’t even curious about.’

‘They also said they reassess ranks and reassign classes based on the final standings.’

‘I’m not sure it’s a reason to fight for my life.’

With a furious expression, the boy thrusts his sword towards my neck.

The examiners, I glanced at them briefly by moving only my eyes, just watched us; they showed no signs of intervening.

I blocked the thrust with my hand.

Though it pierced my palm, thankfully, it didn’t get stuck in my neck.

Now neither of us has a weapon.

There’s an axe and the spear I threw on the ground, but there’s no time to pick them up.

In the end, it’s a fistfight.

Throwing punches, getting hit, throwing punches, getting hit.

A rather unsightly fight, neither cool nor impressive.

Though it was quite noticeable that every time I was hit, blood poured from somewhere on my body.

The boy, bleeding from his nose after getting punched in the face, speaks with a bewildered tone.

“Wh-Why are you going this far!?”

Well, to this guy, it’s common sense that you die if your body gets pierced.

Without answering, I grabbed the axe that happened to be within reach.

Luckily, it had fallen where I tripped.

I turned my body so the axe was hidden, lay down, picked up the sword lying on the ground, and glared at the boy approaching me.

“I, I don’t care if you guys live or die!”

“I clearly told you to f-forfeit!”

One step, two steps, and just as I heard his slightly hesitant breath as he prepared to thrust his sword, I got up and pushed his exposed stomach with my shoulder.

“W-Wait…!”

And then, slightly awkwardly, I straddled him.

“Say you forfeit.”

The boy’s lips twitch, about to form the words.

And the axe blade falling towards his face was much faster.

I told him to speak, I don’t think I said anything about interrupting.

Since he could still scream even with the axe blade embedded in his face, I then embedded it in his chest.

The boy reaches for me, trying to say something.

With red hands covered in blood, he fumbles with my face.

Maybe he was trying to push me away.

He seemed full of energy just moments ago, so it can’t be that he lost his strength just from being hit with an axe a few times, or maybe it is.

Since it was a bit disgusting, I brushed off the hand pushing at my face and chopped off his wrist.

Turning my head to look at the examiners holding clipboards, their expressions were completely impassive.

They showed no signs of intervening.

I let out a hollow laugh in disbelief.

They’re calling those guys teachers, seriously.

That’s why both the homeroom teacher and the class president died pointless deaths, and they’re just glossing over it like it’s nothing.

The people who moved when it was time to move always remain in my memory.

Perhaps because they’re no longer visible.

Anyway, from then on, I just kept swinging as I pleased.

Like slowly chopping down a stubborn tree.

By the time his ribs were completely shattered, and his chest, which had been rising and falling with difficulty, was spewing out nothing but blood, someone grabbed my wrist as I was swinging the axe.

Looking back, an elderly man holding a clipboard was staring at me with a fed-up expression.

“Do you want to be disqualified?”

“…”

“I understand you’re desperately trying to climb up because you’re from the slums, but this is too…”

The old man stopped mid-sentence, pulled me up, and threw me down.

Then he made what used to be a boy, now a mangled mess, float in the air and stuffed it into a large, black plastic bag.

As if throwing trash into a food waste bin.

And I was the lab rat that ate that food waste.

No matter what I saw, what I thought, it’s all meaningless.

If I don’t become someone needed, it’s all pointless.

Lying sprawled out, soaked like a drenched rat, I looked up at the sky.

Should I feel a sense of accomplishment for winning?

Since I beat a C-rank, maybe I too can wear that fancy uniform and live in a much nicer dorm.

I don’t think I was envious.

Or was I?

A world that praises you and gives you a better environment just for killing people seems a bit terrible.

Terrible enough that a world where everyone lives chained to money seems more beautiful.

I see hallucinations when I take drugs.

I hear auditory hallucinations, I start seeing things I shouldn’t be able to see.

But still.

At least things as absurd as this don’t happen there.

Because in there, I’m just sipping a cup of coffee while listening to some music I don’t even know the title of, opening the window and smoking a cigarette.

After taking deep breaths for a while, I dragged my perfectly fine body and returned to the waiting area.

Though I could see some injured kids, I was the only one completely drenched like a rat.

Well, everyone else here is human; I’m the only lab rat.

‘Why was I there?’

‘Because I wanted to become someone needed, instead of just a rat.’