Chapter 35: The Optimal Experience and the Real You

On a clear, bright Sunday, the amusement park buzzed with life. Banners fluttered in the gentle breeze, while the air filled with the joyous laughter of children and the exhilarating roar of thrilling rides.

Kazami Jin and Xia Yue, two figures who seemed oddly out of sync with the joyous atmosphere around them, were meticulously adhering to Xia Yue’s pre-planned ‘Amusement Park Optimal Experience Strategy V1.2,’ a guide detailed down to the minute.

“According to the strategy,” Xia Yue began, her voice as precise and serious as if she were briefing a military operation, “the next item on the agenda is the ‘Raging Rapids’ ride. The current queue is estimated to be at its lowest point in the park, ensuring maximum experience efficiency.” She held a tablet displaying a dynamically updated park map and various data points. Today, she was still clad in that sweet, girlish dress that still felt somewhat out of place on her, yet her expression had already switched back to a work-mode level of intense focus.

Jin trailed behind her, observing Xia Yue meticulously execute the itinerary she had devised, a whirlwind of conflicting emotions churning within her.

They had already conquered the ‘Roller Coaster’ (Xia Yue impassively recorded changes in gravitational acceleration throughout), the ‘Pirate Ship’ (Xia Yue analyzed the impact of oscillation cycles on the human body), and the ‘Merry-Go-Round’ (Xia Yue evaluated the artistic value of different carousel animal designs and their influence on children’s aesthetics)… With every attraction, Xia Yue managed to uncover an angle for ‘optimization’ or ‘analysis,’ yet it was conspicuously devoid of… ‘fun.’

“Xia Yue,” Jin ventured, unable to hold back any longer as they disembarked from the ‘Raging Rapids,’ both slightly damp from the spray, “might we… perhaps… loosen up a little? Do we really need to follow the strategy so strictly?”

Xia Yue paused in the act of wiping her spectacles, turning a puzzled gaze upon Jin. “Loosen up? But the strategy is formulated based on big data analysis and optimal path algorithms, precisely to ensure we experience the maximum number of attractions within our limited time and avoid unproductive waiting. ‘Loosen up’ would inevitably lead to inefficiency and preclude achieving the optimal experience objective.”

Jin remained silent. She met Xia Yue’s earnest gaze, swallowing the words ‘But fun isn’t about efficiency in the first place’ unspoken.

And so, they methodically moved through several more attractions. Xia Yue maintained her unwavering ‘efficiency consciousness’ throughout; even when Jin expressed a desire for ice cream, she would swiftly pull up the queue times and cost-benefit analysis for nearby stalls, then point to one. “This stall has the shortest waiting time, and this brand of ice cream offers the comparatively optimal ratio of milk fat to additives.”

Clutching the ice cream that had been deemed ‘optimal,’ Jin felt as if the flavor itself seemed to taste somewhat formulaic.

As dusk began to settle and the amusement park lit up with brilliant lights, adding a touch of dreamlike enchantment to the clamor, Jin halted. She gazed up at the colossal Ferris wheel, rotating slowly against the darkening sky. Its colorful gondolas, like luminous pearls, studded the night, presenting a serene and romantic sight.

“Xia Yue,” Jin murmured softly, her voice carrying a faint, almost imperceptible plea, “shall we… ride that?” She pointed towards the Ferris wheel.

Xia Yue followed her gaze, her brows immediately furrowing in their habitual manner as her fingers rapidly scrolled across the tablet. “The Ferris wheel? According to the data, its single rotation cycle is approximately fifteen minutes, with an estimated queue time of twenty-five minutes. During that period, we could experience at least two other attractions with shorter waiting times and higher thrill factors, such as the ‘Wild Mouse’ coaster or the ‘Haunted House’ nearby. The Ferris wheel’s ‘pleasure-output-per-unit-time ratio’ is comparatively low, making it an inefficient choice. Based on the strategy, we should instead…”

“Let’s just ride this one,” Jin interrupted, her voice soft but imbued with an uncommon persistence. She turned to face Xia Yue, a complex look in her eyes. “Just for a little while, can’t we?”

Xia Yue’s words died on her lips. She met Jin’s gaze, then glanced at the slow-moving Ferris wheel—a sheer ‘waste of time’ from her efficiency-driven perspective. Her eyes then dropped back to the cold, constantly updating optimized data on her tablet… It was as if the core processing unit of her mind had encountered an instruction that defied direct logical parsing.

[Target has clearly expressed strong desire.]

[This desire conflicts with the principle of maximizing efficiency.]

[Core directive: Prioritize target’s needs, increase relationship intimacy.]

[Conflict resolution:…?]

After a brief silence, Xia Yue’s fingers lifted from the tablet screen. She raised her head, and a fleeting flicker of something akin to ‘compromise’ crossed her ice-blue eyes, only to be swiftly replaced by the resolute certainty of ‘executing a new directive.’

“…Alright.” She put away her tablet. “We’ll ride the Ferris wheel.”

As the Ferris wheel gondola slowly ascended from the ground, gradually distancing them from the clamor and lights below, a peculiar stillness settled within the confined space.

Only the low hum of the machinery, and an almost palpable, unspoken tension between the two of them, filled the air.

Xia Yue sat ramrod straight, her hands resting on her knees. Her gaze, directed through the glass window, settled on the distant city skyline, seemingly still unconsciously analyzing the architectural distribution and light pollution within her field of vision.

Jin watched the unfolding nightscape outside the window. The amusement park below had transformed into a tiny, glowing dreamscape model beneath their feet, while the distant city lights shimmered like scattered starlight.

A profound sense of tranquility finally, if temporarily, dispersed the weariness and suppression of a day hounded by ‘efficiency.’

She took a deep breath, then turned her head to look at the tense figure opposite her, who remained rigid even in this moment of supposed relaxation.

“Xia Yue.” Jin’s voice was soft, yet remarkably clear in the quiet confines of the gondola.

Xia Yue instantly retracted her gaze from the window, focusing intently on Jin. Her body almost imperceptibly straightened her posture further, as if awaiting crucial instructions.

Watching her perpetually poised to ‘solve problems,’ a fresh wave of guilt surged within Jin. She pressed her lips into a thin line, carefully formulating her words.

“I’m sorry.”

Xia Yue froze. Her pupils constricted slightly, and a flicker of clear confusion crossed her face. “Why are you apologizing?” Her voice was laced with bewilderment. “While today’s itinerary, due to the Ferris wheel, failed to fully achieve the strategy’s predetermined efficiency peak, the overall completion rate remains within acceptable parameters. It is I who formulated a strategy with deficiencies, failing to adequately account for your…”

“It’s not because of that,” Jin interrupted, shaking her head gently. She met Xia Yue’s ice-blue eyes, which seemed exceptionally clear and pure in their confusion, and, mustering her courage, said, “I’m apologizing for… for what I said before.”

She paused, her voice dropped even lower, carrying a note of regret. “Back then… I never intended for you to become like this.”

Xia Yue’s body stiffened perceptibly.

Jin continued, her words a little disjointed but they came from her heart. “I didn’t want a Xia Yue who… based everything on my standards, losing her own thoughts and preferences. I also didn’t want to see you… force yourself into clothes you dislike, do things you’re not skilled at, or even… constantly second-guess my preferences when speaking.”

She lifted her head, bravely meeting Xia Yue’s gaze. “When I said those things… I just hoped… I hoped you could occasionally… treat me as someone you could converse with as an equal, not a program that needed to be managed by an ‘optimal solution.’ What I wanted to see was… the real you. Even if that you is a little cold, a little unapproachable, that’s still Xia Yue, isn’t it?”

Jin’s voice caught with a slight sob. “Seeing you like this now… it makes me deeply uncomfortable. I feel like… it’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have said those things, pushing you into this state…”

As her words faded, a prolonged silence descended upon the gondola.

The Ferris wheel had reached its apex. The world below seemed to have been muted, with only the brilliant lights flowing in silent rivers.

Xia Yue sat motionless, her head bowed, her long, silver-white hair cascading down and obscuring her expression. Jin could only see her hands resting on her knees, fingers slightly curled.

A long time passed, so long that Jin began to think she wouldn’t speak again. Then, Xia Yue murmured in an incredibly soft voice, almost swallowed by the hum of the machinery:

“The real… me?”

In that voice, there was an unprecedented, profound bewilderment.

She had always believed that if she corrected errors and satisfied the other party’s needs, she could achieve her objectives. She had diligently studied, imitated, changed herself, and even suppressed her true nature, simply because Jin had expressed a desire for ‘equal treatment’ and ‘to be needed.’

But now, Jin was telling her that everything she had done was wrong? That her becoming ‘unlike herself’ was precisely the issue?

This entirely surpassed the scope of her logical comprehension.

If even the fundamental instruction of ‘satisfying the other party’s needs’ was incorrect… then what… was she supposed to do?

The principles she had always relied upon for existence came crashing down. For the first time, Xia Yue felt a panic akin to being utterly ‘lost.’

She lifted her head and looked at Jin. Her ice-blue eyes no longer held their usual coolness or deliberate gentleness; instead, they brimmed with a childlike helplessness and… a faint, almost imperceptible vulnerability.

“I don’t understand…” she whispered, her voice carrying a grievance she hadn’t even realized was there. “What exactly… is the right way?”