Chapter 37: It’s A Mess Now

Multiple concerned gazes focused on me. Feeling slightly awkward, I wanted to close my eyes again, but.

“Sia. Are you okay? Why again this time…”

“Mommy, you’re not hurting again, are you?”

Due to Lilac and Jahy’s questions, I couldn’t bring myself to close them. And one more person spoke with a voice full of sorrow.

“S-Sia… My daughter. Are you feeling better…?”

Turning my eyes towards the source of the voice, a woman who looked exactly like me was sitting on the edge of the bed, placing her hand on my forehead.

Swish.

Feeling the cool touch of her hand, the corners of my lips involuntarily lifted.

Furthermore, strangely, it felt like seeing someone I missed dearly again.

This person must be Sia Yggdrasil’s… biological mother.

I still couldn’t forget the scene I saw before regaining consciousness.

Where exactly that place was, how it existed. And for what purpose it was created.

And I couldn’t even find out any information related to Sia Yggdrasil.

My head ached with problematic questions, but for now, I wanted to savor the relief of returning to reality, so I temporarily set aside my worries.

Facing the simultaneous gazes of Lilac, Jahy, and Mother… felt like my face would be pierced, so I smiled awkwardly and replied.

“I’m fine. Maybe just tired. Anyway, nothing’s wrong.”

Indeed, my body felt fine now. Top condition, just like before I collapsed.

“Even so, just in case. Stay quietly in bed today. You’ll have your meals here too.”

As Lilac laid down the strict order, those around nodded. What is this…

[You reap what you sow, don’t you?]

‘What do you mean, reap what I sow?’

[Who told you to live with a sick body?]

‘Then couldn’t you, Goddess-nim, do something about it?’

[I already granted you protection. Interfering further would violate causality-.]

Ah, that darn causality.

Slightly annoyed, I frowned, and Mother, who was stroking my forehead, startled slightly and removed her hand.

“Ah… I’m sorry. Mommy was too hasty…”

“Oof! No, it’s okay.”

‘Did it seem like I got upset because of her?’ Oops, mistake.

This is all the Goddess’s fault.

[This feels a bit unfair.]

Ignoring the Goddess’s whining, I quickly reached out and grasped Mother’s hand.

“Ah…”

Acting unconsciously, a surprised sound escaped my lips.

Yet, Mother didn’t panic and held my hand back.

Perhaps the remnants of the past in my body instinctively reacted.

Sitting up abruptly, I felt a momentary dizziness and frowned.

Then again, the cool hand placed on my forehead by Mother. No, Noah Yggdrasil.

I don’t know how I know her name. It just naturally popped into my head.

After experiencing that past, I felt fragments of some ‘memory’ lodging themselves in my mind.

That was the reason I frowned just now. Whether it was anemia or not, the rebound effect definitely triggered a memory of the past.

A very short memory, but. I could feel a brief longing.

This must be the emotion the original owner feels. She died, but her remnants still reside in my body.

Again, my mouth moved naturally.

“Mother…”

Now, I too acknowledged it. That she is my mother.

It would definitely be difficult to call her Mom like Sia Yggdrasil did in the fragments of the past.

My memories were still incomplete, and there was an undeniable awkwardness.

Startled by my call, Mother’s eyes widened, then she smiled brightly and squeezed the hand she held a little tighter.

Unlike my smile with hollow eyes, her face beamed with vitality. Unlike me…

A bitter taste lingered in my mouth, but I didn’t show it. She already looked worried; I couldn’t add to it now.

“You… remember Mom.”

“Not completely…”

At my words, meant as an apology, Mother shook her head repeatedly, signaling it was okay.

“No. That alone. Is enough.”

Her voice, thick with emotion as if choked up, spoke in broken sentences, making my heart feel heavy.

A fact unknown to anyone but the Goddess.

I possessed this girl’s body. I could never become her. That girl, Sia Yggdrasil, was dead.

When I asked the Goddess, she said the soul no longer existed in this world.

Dead. The words, like sharp thorns, plunged me into contemplation for a while.

Sorry, Mother, but I cannot be your daughter. Because your daughter is already dead.

The Sia here now. Is just Kim Sia.

A completely separate existence-.

-Not true.

Flinch!

My body jolted violently at the sudden voice. The voice of the child who was with me just moments ago.

“Baby?”

Mother called, but my attention wasn’t there.

‘Where is she? How on earth is she here…’

Thinking that, I looked around the room, but she was nowhere to be seen. Sia Yggdrasil, that is.

Even thinking it might be a delusion. The voice was too clear, too distinct.

Could she still be in that place?

“What’s wrong. What’s the problem now.”

“Mommy’s head doesn’t hurt, right?”

“My baby…”

It seemed this was indeed reality. Besides, two transcendents were present, yet they didn’t sense her.

‘Must be auditory hallucination then.’

Though an unwelcome conclusion, it was the only answer, so I soon accepted it and returned to the present.

“It’s nothing. Just felt a bit chilly…”

At those words, the three women’s eyes sparkled, and they gathered blankets, warmth magic, and every object imaginable that could raise the temperature, activating them all in the room.

I thought it might eventually turn into hellfire, but at Butler’s pointed remark, everything was put back in its place.

The magic was dissipated with mana and thrown outside.

Not sure if that’s okay, but.

“Mother.”

“Yes? What is it?”

“Well, this position is a little…”

After the commotion subsided and about ten minutes passed, the atmosphere calmed, and the people in the room went off to their respective tasks.

Lilac was also forcibly ejected. By Butler.

The title of Duchess apparently came with a lot of work, so she seemed to lack time to dote on me anymore.

Jahy too, perhaps tired from staying in the carriage, soon fell asleep and was moved to a prepared room.

Ultimately, the only ones left in the room were Mother and me.

Having gotten up since I was awake, I planned to sit in the rocking chair for the first time in a while and watch the view outside, but.

“Um… isn’t this heavy…?”

“Not at all. Rather, you’re so light it only makes me worry.”

Ah, that feeling. I think I know it too. I worried because Jahy was so light. I didn’t know it would feel like this being on the receiving end.

Makes me feel sorry for Jahy for no reason.

And so, sitting on the rocking chair.

Mother and I sat together. Moreover, with her two arms wrapped around me.

Somehow feels like being a doll again. The arms restricting my freedom after a long time felt unfamiliar.

It seemed like she would let go if I asked… but I didn’t want to upset Mother, so I gave up.

And this position. Looked similar to the one in the portrait. Though there was a height difference because it was the past.

Even so, I fit snugly in Mother’s embrace. Because Mother was taller than Lilac.

Seeing Mother, taller than my past life’s height, made me feel inexplicably envious, so I decided not to think about height anymore.

Sitting on Mother’s lap in an awkward position, I looked out the window.
Watching the knights diligently training under Edwyn somehow made me feel like I could smell sweat.

Mother seemed to be looking out the window too… but for some reason, the gaze felt from above my head made it hard to move my neck.

In the awkward silence. Finally, a savior appeared.

Knock knock knock.

Three knocks again. People here seemed to only knock three times.

“Coming in.”

Saying so, Diana entered.

Glad that at least she came in, my eyes sparkled, but.

‘What… what’s the point of sparkling eyes that have no focus?’

Having no choice, I sighed and resigned myself. Diana didn’t seem planning to stay long either, saying she’d leave after a short while.

And the reason she came was none other than.

“Health check-up.”

Health check-up.

According to Diana, Lilac ordered her here. When it came to health matters like this, Lilac was more serious than anyone.

Besides that, when will Lilac finish work? I want to see her soon.

Lately, I kept thinking about her face, missing it.

And so began the health check-up.

“Say Ah~.”

Even though she could see inside my body with the Saintess’s power, doing this was probably…

“You’re working hard…”

“Thank you…”

For the records she would show Lilac. Even though I didn’t actually need such miscellaneous check-ups, ordering them must have been out of lingering anxiety.

Lilac’s personality was quite stubborn too. Maybe that’s why I’m more drawn to her…

“How is she? Sia’s body.”

After the check-up finished, Mother suddenly asked, and Diana nodded and spoke.

“She has slight anemia. She needs to eat more meat.”

‘What splendid anemia.’ Just when my mouth felt bored.

While happily imagining what kind of meat would be for dinner.

“And…”

‘Is there more?’

“How can she even be conscious? Her organs are completely messed up and broken. Like a ‘corpse’.”

“Eh…?”

‘What does that mean…?’