Chapter 38: A Flustered Confession and Uncomfortable Truths

It was morning.

Sayo woke up and opened her eyes. She lay in bed, her mind foggy as she tried to wake up. ‘I feel a bit more tired than usual today. Should I sleep a little longer?’ She was feeling the strong temptation to do just that when…

“Did you sleep well, My Lady?”

Seeing Ahrin enter and greet her, Sayo instantly snapped awake.

“Ahrin.”

“Nothing happened yesterday.”

“Huh…? What do y—”

“Yesterday was just like any other day.”

“Is that so, Ahrin?”

Unable to meet Ahrin’s gaze, Sayo mumbled her reply and quickly escaped into the bathroom. ‘I’m going crazy…’ Though she tried to avoid the memory, as she stood under the running water, yesterday’s events replayed in her mind.

It was true that she’d been thinking about giving Ahrin other opportunities, considering her own uncertain future. And seeing Emelly’s fondness for Ahrin, Sayo thought she might bring it up.

“That’s fine and all, but why did I have to blurt it out like that…?”

She should have explained things calmly to Ahrin. If Ahrin agreed, Sayo would let her go. If she refused, Sayo could try persuading her again. And if, after all that, Ahrin still wanted to stay, Sayo would thank her and that would be the end of it. There was absolutely no reason for her face to flush like it did yesterday.

Why had she suddenly gotten so emotional? Yesterday was an ordinary day, no different from any other. ‘Ugh, thinking about it is making my face hot again.’ She felt irritable, wanting to lash out at something. Her lower abdomen also felt strangely hot…

“Ah.”

It had been several months since she arrived in this world. Having gone through this multiple times already, she no longer panicked. She had experienced it even in her ‘jumbled state’ and gotten used to it, so menstruation never really fazed her.

The pain was bearable, less severe than she had expected from what she’d heard and read. It just made her a little sensitive, irritable, and… ‘tingly’ down there. That sensation was still strange and unpleasant, something she doubted she’d ever get used to. But individual experiences varied greatly, so she was grateful it wasn’t too uncomfortable.

Her point was, it wasn’t PMS making her irritable. As mentioned, in her case, she just experienced some discomfort and lower energy levels before and during her period. No other changes.

[TL Note: PMS stands for Premenstrual Syndrome.]

‘Maybe it was time to update my list of embarrassing moments?’ There was no other explanation.

‘No, stop thinking about it.’ It was best to be cautious during her period. If she showed even a glimpse of her old self, her slightly improved reputation would plummet again. People would say she couldn’t keep up the act and finally revealed her true colors.

‘Right. I’m wiping yesterday’s incident from my memory.’

“Good morning, Sayore—”

“Emelly. It’s your fault.”

“What? Suddenly?”

“If you hadn’t said those things, I wouldn’t have…”

“Whoa, hold on. Care to explain?”

Sayo vented her frustration a little at Emelly. She didn’t think Emelly was at fault, but those words had triggered the whole thing, so maybe Emelly was a little responsible… No, probably not. ‘I should apologize to Emelly later.’

After that incident, things were a bit awkward between Sayo and Ahrin. Ahrin didn’t seem to mind, but Sayo was mortified by the newly added entry to her hall of shame, making it difficult to face Ahrin. She avoided eye contact and kept her replies short, ending the conversations quickly. Time with Ahrin used to be the most comfortable, but now it was unbearably awkward. Of course, Sayo’s avoidance puzzled Ahrin. ‘I’m sorry, but my mental state is fragile because of that memory, so please bear with me for a little while,’ Sayo apologized internally.

That awkwardness lasted only three days. It ended with Ahrin tearfully asking for forgiveness if she had done anything wrong. Sayo quickly apologized and hugged her.

Lately, she sometimes wondered if she needed to try so hard. Emelly and the others were resourceful and capable of overcoming obstacles on their own. ‘Shouldn’t they be able to manage even without my interference?’ But these thoughts always remained just that – thoughts. Even if Emelly and the others overcame everything, there was no guarantee they’d all survive. And even if they did, there were others she could save.

She wanted to do what she could.

Time passed.

Sayo spent her days diligently: spending time with Ahrin, practicing magic, hanging out with Euru and Nell, sparring, exchanging greetings with Emelly, and working hard to overcome the threat of the magical beasts.

Early April.

Sayo, who had first awakened to the feeling of spring, was now welcoming winter.

Early November.

“Mmm…”

She woke up, opened her eyes, and pushed aside the thick winter blanket. A slightly chilly air touched her skin. She put her feet on the floor. The floor wasn’t cold at all; it was pleasantly warm. ‘Nice.’ She knew it already, but experiencing winter made her appreciate this fantasy world with its boiler system even more.

The moderately warm air carried a slight chill. It wasn’t freezing, but it certainly felt like winter.

Dressed in her winter uniform, complete with a warm scarf, pantyhose, and a thick overcoat, she checked her appearance in the full-length mirror. ‘Good.’ As always, she left her room, seen off by Ahrin. The walk to the classroom wasn’t long, but she hated walking in the cold wind. Summers here weren’t too hot, which was a plus, but she was disappointed that the winter chill rivaled that of her previous world.

“Ugh, the exams are really close now.”

“If you’d paid attention in class and done some reviewing, you wouldn’t be so anxious.”

Miner’s factual jab made Soine pout. She crossed her arms on the desk, resting her chin on them.

“Why do you always nag me, Miner…?”

“I wouldn’t if you were more responsible. And it’s not ‘nagging,’ it’s ‘advice’ between friends.”

Miner smiled, gently stroking Soine’s hair, careful not to mess it up. Soine, though still pouting, accepted the affectionate gesture.

Come to think of it, although Soine and Miner had been with her much longer than Nell or Euru, she hadn’t shared the same level of physical intimacy with them. A brief hand-holding, maybe? Even that was nothing compared to the hand-holding sessions with Nell and Euru, where they interlocked fingers until their palms sweated. ‘Soine and Miner’s families are subordinate to the Marquisate, so they must feel some pressure around me.’ She needed to take the initiative to become closer to them.

But how? Nell, Euru, Soine, and Miner had all approached her; she had never initiated contact. Now that she wanted to try, she was unsure where the line was. She calmly recalled how Nell and Euru had acted towards her. ‘Okay, let’s try this.’

Sayo moved behind Miner, pressing her body close and wrapping her arms around Miner’s waist.

“H-Huh?!”

Startled by the sudden embrace, Miner let out a surprised yelp, unlike her usual composed self.

‘Was that too sudden?’ Even Sayo thought she’d be terrified if someone suddenly hugged her from behind without warning. Was it because she was trying something she never did? A little flustered by her impulsive action, Sayo had made a mistake.

“I’m sorry. I surprised you.”

“Oh, n-no. It’s okay. B-But Sayoreinne, what… what is this…?”

Miner was so flustered that her voice trembled. The unexpected feeling of arms around her waist, and those arms belonging to Sayoreinne of all people, made her wonder. Why was Sayoreinne, who usually shyly received the affections of the other two girls, suddenly embracing her?

‘She should be doing this to Nell or Lady Euru… they’d love it.’

Trying to calm her racing heart, Miner turned her head, only to find Sayoreinne’s face incredibly close. Almost nose to nose.

“?!”

Even though she found Sayoreinne beautiful and had grown accustomed to her presence, being this close made Miner’s heart pound. Sayoreinne, realizing how close their faces were, blushed and pulled back slightly, turning her head away. That shy gesture was incredibly cute.

Miner felt like she finally understood Nell and Euru a little better.

“What are you doing?”

“My, my. Aren’t we getting friendly, Sayoreinne?”

‘Maybe this isn’t for me after all?’ Just as Sayo, her face still flushed, began to reconsider her approach to physical affection, she heard Nell and Euru’s voices behind her.

“Euru, Nell. Welcome…?”

Something was off. The way they looked at her was different than usual. Had she done something to offend them yesterday? She was sure she’d behaved normally and said goodbye as usual after classes.

“Let’s get closer today.”

“I’d like to be much closer to Sayoreinne than we are now.”

Miner had moved away, and now Nell and Euru sat flanking Sayo. It seemed like a normal situation, yet it felt ominous.

‘…What did I do wrong?’