Chapter 38: The Beginning of a Harem Story

[TL note: (###) and (***) are the curse words like f#ck or a**]

Unfair!
This is so, so unfair!!

I need to let the whole world know about this injustice—tell the village chief, the uncles, the aunts, the f*cking men, and the f*cking women…!
But I can’t even do that because I’m currently in a f*cking ghost spirit state…!!

—Glare!!

At that moment, Mother sharply stared into the empty space again, just like earlier.

{…H-Higiiit?!}

It was exactly where I was floating in my f##king state.
Of course, she wouldn’t be able to see me at all, but somehow, her piercing gaze seemed to ignore the laws of physics and send a chill even through my *** form.

{M-Mother—no, Mom!! I-It was a joke…!!}
{I wasn’t actually being serious when I said that to ***!!}

It was all just a necessary strategy!
I mean, you have to understand a certain level of memes to keep attracting the ## crowd from the *** community, right?! Right?!

{For some reason, those *** folks are the biggest supporters financially…!!}

This body of ## Shizuko won’t stay a *** forever!
Time will pass, and I’ll reach the age they call the “##” (high school), meaning I only have less than two years left to take advantage of this…!

“…Hehe. It just so happens that my dream is to become a beautiful bride. My parents also said they’d be happy as long as I grow up healthy and give them adorable ## grandchildren.”

See? Even *** is saying stuff like that!
If you think about it, I didn’t even say anything that weird, did I?
It was just a purely scientific, biologically logical statement…!

It’s true, isn’t it?!
If ## happens, then that means *** is possible, right?!

{Is this factually incorrect? Huh?! No, it’s not!!}
{There’s no scientific way to refute this…!!}

Ah, I see now.
Mother is ##.
Political Correctness.
Yes, Mother is the vanguard of political correctness…!!

Right?! You all think so too, don’t you?!

{T-Trump… I must become Trump…}
{For ##, for all the *** in this world…!}
{So that this undeniable, correct scientific fact is accepted as common sense…!!}

They say that when people are extremely embarrassed, they make extreme decisions.

{I—I will bring back *** to normal…!}

But then—

“Oh dear, oh dear~ You’ve always been the type to rush ahead without thinking, but saying such things to a ***… Still, if you both have feelings for each other~ Well, I suppose it’s fine to tell *** about it~?”

{…Huh?}

Like a classic cliché,
this was the moment I realized the importance of watching what I say.

“Maybe that’s why *** was talking about *** preservation and freezing procedures and insisting on going to the hospital back then~”

W-Wait.
No way…

“Honestly, just how far ahead was that kid planning~?”

{W-Wait a second! Mom! M-Mom! You’re saying this here?! Now?!!}

I flew right up to Mother’s face, desperate for her to hear me.
But she still acted as if she couldn’t see me, only looking straight at Shizuko.

Instead, she simply waved her hands in front of her, as if swatting away an invisible fly.

“Shizuko.”

Mother spoke again, her expression deep and complex.

“Is becoming a bride really your dream? Not because your parents want it, but your own will?”
“Huh? Oh, yes…! I love ***! Just like ***!”

Nooooo…!!
You might be able to say that, but I can’t!!

And I don’t!!
Society doesn’t accept that!!
Not in ##, not anywhere in the world! Maybe Japan is different, but still…!

If I really liked ***, then back when ## was still a walking *** law violation,
when she was so blatantly throwing herself at me, how could I have resisted touching her even once?!!

Of course, back then, I knew it was just the *** effect—
that she was simply mistaking gratitude for love—
so I deliberately kept my distance…

“If I become a bride one day, I’ll make sure my firstborn is a warmhearted *** just like ***!”

While I was stunned by ***’s mental attack, she kept pushing me into a panic state.

“And after that, I’ll have two daughters! Ah, but then the *** would be overwhelmed, so maybe the youngest should be a *** for balance!”

F-Four kids?!
Well, I guess in this era of declining birth rates, that’s an admirable mindset…
And sure, theoretically, not just four, but even a hundred, a thousand would be possible… if there were enough ***, that is…

No, what am I even thinking?
Anyway, no!
I can’t handle that…!

“…But I suppose it’s impossible, isn’t it? ***’s body is already… So that’s why it’s just a dream. Because it’s too difficult to achieve… Ahaha…”

{…Yeah, yeah. Dreams are meant to be unreachable, and promises are meant to be broken.}
{So ***… I think we’ve talked enough… Let’s start heading back, okay?}

I seized the moment, trying to wrap things up.

{We still have to go buy *** uniforms, and *** is feeling uncomfortable because we only have one set of ***…}
{Right? Now that you’re *** too, you can feel that weird discomfort, right? Unlike ***, *** can’t be controlled the same way, so even wiping with *** doesn’t help much~}
{So let’s just—ah, and I also want to check out the *** I reserved in ***, so—yeah?}

I desperately resisted *** swatting me away, trying to convince her.

“Hmm~ This might not be the kind of thing to say to a *** with a bright future ahead, but~ It’s possible, you know?”

But it was no use.

“To have the healthiest *** ever? Even if *** isn’t possible.”

No matter how much I tried to stop ***, I couldn’t shut Mother up.
Not when I was stuck in this ***, intangible state.

“…Huh? What do you mean by that…?”
{…No, no! ***! Don’t listen…!!}
“Well, you see~ *** is already gone, but something still remains~”
{…Noooooooo!!}

I screamed so loudly that it felt like my *** vocal cords would tear apart.

“Ugh, keep it down, ***…! Why are you so restless all of a sudden?”

The legendary ***, unleashed.

{Huff, huff… T-That was… because you were holding onto my mother for too long, so I meant we should hurry back—}

But just as I was catching my breath, my cooldown period for shouting like a lion was still in effect.

“The child’s seed… Would that make it easier to understand? Across all 47 top-tier hospitals in South Korea, scattered throughout the country~”
{—Ah?!}

Mother just blurted it out.
The one thing Jinzuko should never, ever hear.

“…Huh? Could you explain that in more detail?”

And our dear Jinzuko, the student whose highest-scoring subject in middle school was none other than Health and Physical Education, immediately grasped the biological implications of the term “seed” and started pressing for more details.

{Mmf, mmmff…?!}

I was completely restrained by just a single one of Jinzuko’s fingers.
Well, I was in a ghost state right now.

Even if Jinzuko was focused on channeling me, she had been training as a spirit medium for two months.
In terms of sheer spiritual interference, I was no match for her at this moment.

“This story is a bit long—do you mind?”
“Not at all! Even if it takes days, I have to hear it, Mother-in-law.”
“Oh my~ Oh my~ If you’re that serious, then maybe it’s actually okay~”

Jinzuko was so focused on Mother’s words that you’d believe her name came from “seriousness” rather than “Jin.”

“You see, there was this Western drama called Big Mac Theory~? My child, who never watched dramas and only watched cartoons, actually watched that one, so I remember it clearly.”

By the way, it’s not Big Mac—it’s Big Bang!
What do you mean you remember it clearly?!
You’ve completely misremembered it…!

“After watching that drama, one day, my child—who never asked for anything—came to me with their first-ever request. They insisted that, while they were still young, energetic, and their face still looked normal… Though honestly, even back then and now, their face was perfectly normal~”
“So? What did Got-chan ask for?! What was the request?!”
“They said they needed to immediately freeze and store their, um, essence in 47 top-tier hospitals across South Korea~”

…Fine. Let’s just go with Big Mac Theory for now.
That American nerd sitcom about the daily lives of what were basically U.S. KAIST students.

The very first episode of that Western drama started at a sperm bank.
And the first line spoken by the nerdy physics genius, one of the main characters, was:

‘Is this the High IQ Sperm Bank?’

High IQ Sperm Bank.
In other words, he was trying to store his superior genetic material for future use…!

Back when I was a middle schooler, that concept was shocking.
Of course, that Yankee nerd was just trying to sell his essence to buy a new video game.

But I was different.

Back then, in middle school…
During puberty, as my face was rapidly undergoing an irreversible transformation…

I decided to store my genetic material in various sperm banks across South Korea.
And I planned to wait—hold out until genetic modification technology could be applied to humans.

I wasn’t trying to extend my lifespan and maintain a strict diet since childhood for nothing.

At the time, I believed that, except for the genes responsible for my puberty-induced facial transformation, I was practically perfect…
I was a bit arrogant back then.

Anyway, that was my reasoning.
If I just waited, there would come a time when society’s ethics and human greed would clash—
and ultimately, greed would win.

Considering the habits of wealthy elites and influential politicians, it was an obvious future.

Back in the Fifth Republic, parents would do anything to send their kids to Seoul National University.
Recently, they’ve been pushing them into medical school.
Lately, even that isn’t enough, so they’re focusing on overseas universities or getting U.S. citizenship.

In the future, they’d definitely start tampering with their children’s genes.
It was inevitable.

And when that time came, I was certain they’d combine top-tier intellect genes with the finest handsome genes to create—

“…A so-called perfect prodigy from birth

Of course, as I grew older, I followed my mother’s teachings and resolved to live my life as I was…
But that didn’t mean I wanted to pass this down to my future children!!

“You know, they say geniuses and fools are only a hair’s breadth apart~ People always called my child a genius, a prodigy, but as their mother, I just thought they were a book-smart fool~”
“A-And… that essence… is it still frozen? In those 47 hospitals across Korea…?”
“Yup~ That’s right~? Talking with Shizuko just now made me remember it.”
“T-Then… maybe my dream isn’t completely impossible…?”
“…I see. Thank you for sharing, Mother-in-law.”
“…H-Huh?!”

At some point—

{N-No way! She already woke up?!!}

Before either Jinzuko or I could notice…

“Thanks to you, I feel like I’ve found a reason to live…”

Irina Rosenkrantz, who had been unconscious, was now kneeling before my mother.

“Uhuhuhu… Hehehe… Churup… Uhuhuhuhu… Ucchitel’s… seed… If I have that…”

And she was saying some seriously dangerous things.

—BAM!!

“W-What did you say?! Mom, is this true?!!”
{Wait, Hansora, where did YOU come from?!!}
“I never heard about this! My brother still exists?! His essence is still here?!!”
{More importantly, why?! You—you shouldn’t be involved in this!!}

And so—

“…That’s right. To repay my debt to Got-chan… I have no choice but to receive that seed myself…”
“…Uhuhuh… Yes, if I have that seed… If it means I can make Ucchitel—my teacher—mine…”
“N-No! I didn’t abandon my brother…! I… I did, but… Sniff…! I-I’ll bring him back…!!”

—This was the beginning of a harem story.

One without its supposed male protagonist.

{…Have these girls all lost their minds?!!}

Instead, only the seed remained.