Chapter 4: A Fateful Reunion and Lingering Regrets

“Say ‘listen to me’, there’s a green light, where is happiness?”

“Unlike any meaning, you are the green light, so uniquely you.”

****

‘Who was that person on stage, microphone in hand, striking exaggerated poses and wailing like a ghost?’

Upon opening the door, a wave of shock immediately washed over me.

I was certain the person was one of our high school classmates, yet despite the familiarity, I found myself unable to recall their name in that fleeting moment, the years having blurred my memory.

“Mu Feng, isn’t that you? You’re finally here!”

No sooner had I stepped through the door than I was spotted.

A figure quickly approached, guiding me to an empty seat within the room.

This was Mu Xueyan, someone I knew relatively well.

Having been high school classmates and attending the same university, we had only recently met.

“We thought you’d stand us up again, but Ren Yunkong was absolutely certain you’d come, so everyone’s been waiting for you.”

“Why did you say ‘again’? Of course not! I said I’d come, and I always keep my word!”

I argued vehemently, then took a deep breath, feigning composure as I settled onto the soft sofa.

Picking up a cherry tomato from the fruit platter on the coffee table before me, I popped it into my mouth and whispered to her, “Who’s that lip-syncing on stage?”

Mu Xueyan rolled her eyes at my question, then said with a chuckle, “That’s Jing Yi, our old math class representative! You haven’t forgotten him already, have you?”

“Oh, right, I remember now.”

Her prompting immediately jogged my memory; this guy was indeed our class’s perennial fourth-place student, always ranking fourth in every exam, never quite breaking into the top three—no wonder he looked so familiar.

I suddenly recalled that after graduation, he had gotten together with Ling Jun, our entertainment class representative, hadn’t he?

The two of them had even posted numerous photos flaunting their affection in the class group chat, forcing me to endure a mouthful of “dog food”.

Ling Jun, truth be told, was quite pretty; they were a handsome couple, a perfect match.

I wondered how they were doing now.

“He apparently broke up recently.

The rumor is Ling Jun was cheating on him and he caught her in the act on the street.

Ling Jun isn’t even here today!”

“Pffft—”

“Are you alright?”

Mu Xueyan startled, asked with concern.

“Cough, cough, cough… I’m fine, I’m fine! Just almost choked on a seed…”

Haha, that outcome came too swiftly…

I quickly waved my hand, then, feeling somewhat guilty, glanced towards the side of the stage.

The first person I saw was Ren Yunkong.

At that moment, he was holding forth in an eloquent speech from the center of another sofa, flanked by several female classmates from our high school days, all eagerly listening to his tales of studying abroad and travel adventures from the past few years.

This familiar scene, indeed, hadn’t changed in the slightest.

I couldn’t help but sigh with emotion.

Sensing my gaze, Ren Yunkong casually raised a hand with a smile, acknowledging me.

I nodded back, deciding not to disturb him further.

Indeed, many classmates had shown up today.

This was the largest private room in the KTV, yet it still felt incredibly crowded.

Our high school class used to have around thirty students, and it seemed at least half of them were present now.

Most of them, I could immediately recall their names upon seeing their faces.

However, there were still a few whose names, no matter how hard I tried, simply eluded me.

After all, four years had passed…

My stomach, as it happened, was feeling quite empty.

For someone who only ate one meal a day, the food in my stomach must have long since been digested into nothingness.

Normally, by this hour, I would already be tucked in bed, drifting into sleep, oblivious to everything once slumber claimed me.

Yet, tonight was different.

I gazed down at the array of fruit platters, snacks, and desserts laid out before me.

Though merely finger foods, to me, they were nothing short of a grand feast.

‘Hmm… it seemed I could finally replenish my nutrients tonight,’ I mused, a delightful sense of anticipation bubbling within me.

In truth, I felt much more relaxed now.

Having scanned the room earlier and failed to spot the person I had been so concerned about, I’d concluded they hadn’t come.

With my biggest emotional burden lifted, I saw no reason to hold back.

I reached out my hand, aiming for a cream cake I had already been eyeing; it looked utterly delicious!

Just then, another hand suddenly reached out from the side, slender and long, targeting the very same cake as mine.

‘Huh?’

Following the hand, my gaze landed on its owner, and I froze completely, as if struck by lightning, my entire body rigid.

Xu Qianran!

‘How could it be her?’

I had just scoured the entire room and hadn’t found her, yet precisely when I had let my guard down, she appeared.

The shock was considerable; my hand trembled, and I quickly pulled it back.

It turned out she had been so close to me all along, seated just one person away to my right.

Perhaps because she was perfectly obscured, I hadn’t noticed her at all, even when I first entered and took my seat.

“Qianran… classmate, long time no see!”

I nearly blurted out the familiar address I had long grown accustomed to, then strained to manipulate my stiff facial muscles, forcing a smile.

A flicker of surprise seemed to cross her eyes as well, her arm hovering in mid-air for a moment before she composed herself.

She nodded calmly at me, responding with a gentle smile:

“Long time no see, Mu Feng.”

Our eyes met, and we simply stared at each other for a long moment.

The atmosphere seemed to have fallen into an awkward silence.

“Haha, you go ahead…”

I let out a dry laugh to break the stillness, gesturing towards the cake with my finger before quickly retreating to my seat.

Although I had mentally rehearsed countless ways to handle this encounter on the way here, even tearing off my skull wouldn’t have allowed me to anticipate the actual situation unfolding like this.

All my preparations had essentially been in vain.

I turned my face away, trying my best not to look in her direction, yet I still felt as if I were sitting on pins and needles, a sharp gaze piercing my back.

Indeed, I still felt she was too close.

Mu Xueyan was still seated to my left, and she had witnessed everything that had just transpired.

It seemed she had always been aware of the relationship between Xu Qianran and me.

“Why are you so nervous? We’re all old classmates.”

She smiled at me with an understanding expression, then quietly confided.

“Xu Qianran also studied abroad during university.

Apparently, she found a boyfriend in America and might be immigrating soon.”

“That’s great then.

I’m relieved to hear she’s doing well.”

I nodded, though in truth, this came as no surprise.

Given my current life circumstances, I doubted there was anyone in the entire room more miserable than I was.

Naturally, to save face, I had to pretend as if I didn’t care in the slightest.

“Immigration is a good thing; I hope she and her boyfriend find happiness.”

I uttered the blessings with a straight face.

I couldn’t help but glance back once more.

Xu Qianran, seemingly unaffected, was laughing and chatting with other classmates, her attention not on me.

Witnessing this scene, my emotions suddenly grew complex, tinged with both a hint of relief and a touch of loss.

I realized I didn’t know how I truly felt about her anymore.

Logically, that relationship had ended long ago, four years prior.

Yet, meeting again, I found myself somewhat unsettled, even a little expectant.

People often said that the feeling of first love was special.

‘Was this what they meant?’

“Do you really think that? Because telling me all this won’t do any good.”

Mu Xueyan chuckled at me with a mischievous grin, a look of amusement playing on her face.

“Why don’t you just tell her yourself?”

“This…”

I was utterly mortified; that was absolutely out of the question.

I didn’t believe my skin was thick enough for such a feat.

“It seems you still haven’t moved on after all these years, have you?”

Mu Xueyan’s knowing expression left me utterly at a loss for words.

‘Was I really that obvious?’

Ultimately, I decided to remain stubborn to the very end.

“No, of course I’ve moved on!

It’s just a few words, I’ll tell her in a bit.

She’s busy right now, and I wouldn’t want to disturb her.”

I figured if things got too unbearable, I’d just slip away in a while.

After all, I hadn’t really wanted to attend this reunion anyway; it was primarily because I had promised Ren Yunkong.

But remaining in this place truly left me feeling out of sorts.

So, I scoffed, grabbed a drink from the table, and downed it in one gulp.

Feigning nonchalance, I began to boast:

“That was ages ago; don’t even bring it up!

Even if she were getting married now and asked me to attend her wedding, I wouldn’t care in the slightest—provided, of course, she actually invited me.”

Mu Xueyan looked somewhat unconvinced.

“Really?”

“Really!” I affirmed, nodding resolutely.

“Really, really, really?”

“Really, really, really!”

…

She stared at me in speechless silence for a long moment.

Suddenly, she raised her hand and called out in Xu Qianran’s direction behind us:

“Xu Qian—”

Terrified, I quickly grabbed her hand.

“Don’t…”

I hadn’t expected her to actually pull a stunt like that, so I had no choice but to surrender.

“Fine, you win!

You’re ruthless!”

Mu Xueyan triumphantly grabbed a cherry tomato, popped it into her mouth, and crossed her legs.

“I figured as much long ago.

Let me tell you a little secret: Xu Qianran actually regretted breaking up with you back then, but she just couldn’t muster the courage to seek you out, and you never went looking for her either, so things just ended up that way.

What a pity, what a pity…”

I watched her shaking her head and sighing, a myriad of silent thoughts running through my mind.

Mu Xueyan had been Xu Qianran’s deskmate in high school, so her words were likely true.

But what was the point of telling me all this now, when I’d been oblivious for so long?

Was she trying to egg me on to win Xu Qianran back?

Could I even do something so crazy, especially after four years had passed?

Unable to resist, I looked towards her seat once more.

This time, however, she noticed me, her expression momentarily startled, and then, to my surprise, we found ourselves staring at each other again in silent bewilderment.

‘Mu Feng, I think… we’re not right for each other; let’s break up…’

Suddenly, Xu Qianran’s words from four years ago echoed in my ears once more.

No, it still wouldn’t work.

I couldn’t possibly do it, especially since she already had a boyfriend.

I lowered my head, my spirits dim; after all, my current self was simply too far removed from her.

My heart was a tumult of mixed emotions, yet Mu Xueyan, oblivious, gently nudged me with her elbow, a mischievous, impish smile on her face as she asked, “Well, any thoughts?”

“No thoughts at all!”

Her sly gaze completely gave away that she was deliberately teasing me, and a sudden surge of anger flared within me.

“Everything’s in the past.

I’m going to the restroom!”

Then, fuming, I stood up and strode quickly towards the private restroom within the karaoke room.