Chapter 4 : Hahye (2)

Just before closing time, Jangmi approached me.
Her lingering presence despite the absence of after-school classes meant she had much to tell me.

There were four other Mazoku in our school besides Jangmi.
Though they were in different grades and classes, they shared the common experience of being ostracized.

For Jangmi to transfer this late meant she had either inflicted comparable violence or endured it.

Jangmi, predictably, was the latter.
She trembled at trivial things like curtains momentarily veiling her face in the wind, and when kids ran around in the classroom, her gaze remained fixed on the corner of her desk.

“Oh, Jangmi. Were you waiting for me?”

The child smoothed the frayed cuffs of her cardigan.
Though the threads were unraveling and the sleeves were tattered, she caressed it as though it were a precious treasure.

Jangmi’s voice was barely audible as she asked,

“Teacher, why do kids always bully me?”

Because you’re a Mazoku.

“Hmm… It’s because everyone is still unfamiliar with you. It’ll get better with time.”

“It was like this at my old school too… Is it because I’m a Mazoku? But I don’t have horns. My eyes aren’t strange either.”

Because you are a Mazoku mixed with human blood.

“Is it… is it because of my hair color?”

“Dyeing doesn’t work.
It’s only black for the day; it turns white again the next morning.”

…

You know why, regardless of what I say. They just… dislike you.

…I couldn’t say that.
As a teacher, as an adult, I couldn’t give that answer to a child.

Suddenly, I noticed something familiar.
A magical girl character doll was attached to the end of her worn-out bag.

It was me.
A character from the anime based on my story. To avoid legal issues, they had named her ‘Shining Laura’ instead of my actual magical girl name, ‘Bright Lily’.
Though cheesy, it proved popular.
Honestly, I hadn’t expected adults to like it.

As I reached for the doll, Jangmi turned away as if to shield it.
But the thread holding it was so worn that it snapped, and the doll fell to the floor.

Eraser shavings and dust dirtied the doll. Upon seeing this, the girl released her grip on her sleeve and picked up the doll.
Even a light touch to brush away the dirt caused the doll to tear, spilling its stuffing.

“Ah, no…”

Her attempts to restore its shape only worsened the damage.

“My doll… I had such a hard time finding it in the trash…”

Is that so? You like her too. You like me. Enough to shed tears over such a cheap doll. You cherish it.

“Jangmi.”

“Don’t touch it!!!”

Jangmi swatted my hand away, yelling louder than ever before. It was surprising that the girl, whose voice was usually softer than a dandelion seed’s flight, could produce a sound nearing five octaves.

Immediately realizing her actions, Jangmi’s face crumbled as she repeatedly banged her head on the floor.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Stop, Jangmi…”

Her next words were not something a child should utter.

“But please, don’t take this away.
If I don’t even have the magical girl doll… no one will look at me.”

…
* * *
I had memorized the locations of the surveillance cameras and magic sensors, so disabling them was easy.
The usual excuses sufficed.

I placed my index finger on the lips of the girl who recoiled at the sight.

“Jangmi, you must keep this a secret from the others, okay?”

Did she think I would hurt her?
Tears were already streaming down her cheeks like a raging river.

Don’t worry. I won’t do that.

I stepped back a few paces, striking a pose so she could see clearly.

I didn’t need to do this anymore, but this was a special service.
I wouldn’t say the transformation line, though. A 30-year-old saying something that embarrassing…

Seemingly understanding my intent, Jangmi wiped her tears with her sleeve and looked at me.
Her moist eyes held not sorrow, but hope.

“Transform.”
* * *
Knock, knock, knock—

“Hurry up and come out.
Delivery’s here.”

I heard Amber’s urging voice from outside.

How much time has passed…?
Yikes, it’s been this long?
My mind…
Ugh, it’s all wrinkled now. I’m already worried about wrinkles…

“I said come out.”

“Okay, just wait a sec.”

I rinsed the treatment from my hair and stepped out.
I didn’t mind being nude since we’d lived together for so long, but Amber always scolded me, saying I should be more careful.
I threw on a tank top and shorts and headed to the kitchen.
I pulled out a can of beer from the neatly arranged row in the refrigerator and immediately popped it open.

Fizz—

The trapped carbonation, eager to escape, erupted into a fluffy cloud of foam.
I took a long sip before it dissipated.
The tingling carbonation and slight bitterness were exactly what I needed after a long day.

The can tilted higher and higher, as if yearning for heaven, its bottom pointing towards the ceiling.
As the golden liquid flowed through me, a smile spread across my face.

“Ahh, that’s the stuff.”

A small fairy glared at me from the sofa.
The only reason she didn’t nag further was probably because she also frequented bars in the wee hours.

I grabbed another beer to accompany my sandwich and went to the table.

There was only one sandwich.
I knew she didn’t need to eat to survive, but I couldn’t hide my disappointment at not sharing a meal.
I didn’t bother asking for another, knowing her predictable response: ‘You’ll just steal mine if I order another one.’

I carefully set down my beer and unwrapped the sandwich.
What would it be today?
I hoped for a steak with lots of cheese.
Humming excitedly, I opened it.

“Let’s see what we have here.”

What is this?

“Seriously…”

“Hey, no bad language.”

“You’re saying that after seeing this? I can understand the whole wheat bread.
Scooping out the inside is crossing the line.
And what’s the filling? Tuna?
Wow, with pepper and olive oil.”

You made it as unappetizing as possible, you crazy weasel.

I dramatically placed my hand on my forehead, feigning collapse.

“Amber is now taking away the joy of eating.
What’s the point of living?
I might as well just die.”

“Hey, Han. Stop being dramatic and eat.”

“Fine.”

I took a huge bite.
It wasn’t…bad.
Right, think of it as a healthy meal.
I’ve gained weight from not moving around as much.
Healthy is good.

Even with this self-persuasion, I couldn’t help but feel disappointed. I chugged my beer to cleanse my palate. It was momentarily refreshing like rain on dry land, but my mood quickly soured.
I crumpled the can and tossed it at the trash can. It landed perfectly. Maybe I put too much force into it. It spun and then tipped over.

“What are you doing? Now I have to clean it up.”

“I know, I know. I’ll clean it up.”

With a flick of my finger, the spilled trash and the bin were restored, and the beer can floated towards the recycling.

I noticed black dust in the trash can…
Ah, you burned the photos again. I said it was okay to look at them now…
Did the Association send a reply then?

I finished the rest of the sandwich and wiped my mouth with a napkin. I bundled up the trash and handed it to Amber.

“When does the Association say they’ll give me my pension?”

The weasel, fur bristling, took the trash and put it in the bin.

“From the day after you retire as a Magical Girl.”

“Hmm, I see.
What should I do first?
I don’t need clothes; I always wear the same suit.
Luxury goods don’t suit me either.
I guess donations, as always?”

“Officially, the monthly limit is 100.”

“Ahaha, only that much?”

Maybe I shouldn’t have laughed.
She pouted.
She’d been adamant about receiving at least 1,000.

I gently stroked Amber’s head.

“It’s okay.
I was going to donate it anyway, however much I received.
Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay…”

Ah, my cute little fairy.
Do you know how much I appreciate your constant efforts to protect me?
Whatever the outcome, I’m always grateful and sorry for your actions.

When was it? It’s been over ten years since I went to that press conference, when I was barely fifteen.
I was so nervous, just opening and closing my mouth like a fish out of water, and you said you’d take care of everything. Of course, I was still dragged around everywhere afterwards.

We’ve been together since I was eight, so it’s been a long time. You came to me after my parents died because of the Mazoku. At first, I thought you were an angel. I mean, I thought I was dead too.

You were this tiny fluffball, not even reaching my knees, and the first thing you said was ‘Let’s make a contract.’ Without any further explanation.

You know what? You were trembling more than I was. Back then, I thought it was some kind of movement needed to cast a spell. You were always shaking, whether you were smaller or bigger than me. Now you deny it, but it’s true.

I know another secret.
Hmm… you say you like documentaries, but you don’t really. It’s not that you like them; you have to watch them.
It’s the only time your usually perked ears relax. It always made my heart ache, knowing that was the only time you, always on guard, could truly rest.

You, always saddened by the adults’ lies, gave me your eyes as a present. You said it was so I wouldn’t be deceived anymore.

The first blue I saw came from you.
You said my eyes would grow back. Such a blatant lie, even I couldn’t believe it.

So I gave you a gift in return. You made excuses, saying you couldn’t fit something so big, but Persica told me you could use magic. It was the first red I ever saw.

The contract itself was permitted, but you were banned from the Fairy Realm for giving your body parts away. That’s why I said I’d quit being a Magical Girl. They promised you could return to the Fairy Realm if I did.

Don’t worry too much. I’ve grown up now. My breasts are big enough to attract attention.

So Amber… my dear fairy, Amber… If it makes you happy, I’m okay.