Chapter 4: I Said Let It Simmer!

It was 3 PM.

“Umm…”

A refreshing early-bird awakening, complete.

First, I took a quick shower, then put some frozen fried rice from the fridge into the microwave. As expected of a Korean, you need rice to function.

While eating, I went to the Chichi-jig Gallery.

An ego search.
I had made a rather bold declaration yesterday, so I was curious if any posts related to me had popped up on the gallery.
Of course, even if I hadn’t made such a declaration, I tend to search for myself whenever I think of it. Because small-time streamers are hungry for attention.

Alright, let’s see now.
I searched for ‘Gangnani’ in the search bar.

However.

[Title: Breaking) Gangnani declares simp-farming stream lolol]
[Title: Anyone watching Gangnani right now?]
[Title: Gangnani) “I’m a woman too!” lolol]
[Title: Gangnani <- Hit peak pure entertainment today]
…
…

“Oh!”

Usually, only one or two posts would appear a day, but a whopping ten posts had been made just yesterday.

Did my sudden declaration of a simp-farming stream become a hot topic here too?

…As if.

Looking at the poster’s nickname next to the posts, it was just one anonymous user with the same IP address who had been live-commenting on my stream all by himself. Of course.

Even worse, all 10 posts had zero comments… ah, there’s one.

[Title: Gangnani <- Hit peak pure entertainment today]
[Author: ㅇㅇ(12.154)]

So fun, so fun lol

[Comments]
ㄴStop with the small-time streamer viral marketing
ㄴFor real, it’s actually fun though
ㄴF*ck off

“……”

The world is truly heartless.
Viral marketing? I don’t have the money or the connections to do something like that.

Still.
To go so far as to live-comment like that, could this person be my true, die-hard fan?

Or maybe they’re one of my simps, brewed after watching yesterday’s stream.

“Heheh…”

This feels good.
Thanks, my anonymous friend.

7 PM, the regular stream time.
I set the title to [Farming Simps – Day 2] and started the stream.

The feeling of smoothly moving from Day 1 to Day 2 is great.
I feel like I’m becoming more diligent.

[-hi]
[-Gang-ha]
[-Dae-nani]
[-You still haven’t dropped the concept?]
[-Ma’am, I think your stream title is a bit strange]
[-I’m a woman too! I’m a woman too! I’m a woman too!]

My feisty viewers started to file in.
Usually, it took some time for viewers to arrive after starting the stream, but today, 200 people filled up in an instant.

Is this the power of a simp-farming stream!
All you b*stards pretended to hate it, but you were actually looking forward to it, weren’t you? Uhehehe.

“The title is perfectly normal, and to summarize for those who missed yesterday… hmm, no.”

They were going to keep asking anyway, so I figured I should just write it on the screen.

Tadak.
I wrote [Part 1: Simp-Farming Stream] in white text.

With this, they should get it as soon as they come in.

[-So you’re not playing League of Legends?]

“Nope, I’ll play later. Gotta hit Challenger.”

From now on, I plan to follow this stream routine.
Part 1 will be like ‘Just Chatting’, and Part 2 will be playing League of Legends as usual.

I saw that other big-name streamers also did a free talk for about the first hour.

[-What’s a Diamond-tier player talking about Challenger for lol]
[-Just start up League of Legends already, what’s with this simp stuff?]
[-Gonna go sleep, call me when Part 1 is over]
[-Are you going to brew broth by slitting your viewers’ throats again today?]

“What do you mean, slit their throats… heheh. When have I ever done that! That’s it, you’re getting a chat autopsy…”

I stopped mid-sentence.

Ddi-ri-ring.

Because I heard the donation alert sound that I could never get tired of.

[ㅇㅇ has donated 10,000 won!]
[Please provide a classy simp-farming stream today as well.]

This is insane.
A donation of 10,000 won or more, which might happen five times in a month, has already happened twice, including yesterday…!

“Oh my, IEung-IEung-nim has donated 10,000 won…! Thank you, thank you so much. I will repay you with a classy broadcast. Ppucca-ppucca. Everyone, we’re going for a classy broadcast today, I’ll cut down on the swearing too.”

[-Cla?ssy]
[-Classy (while dismembering viewers)]
[-But the donations are really rolling in all of a sudden lol]
[-It’s hilarious that it’s actually effective]
[-These crazy simp b*stards]

“See, I told you it’s effective! Maybe deep down in your hearts, you all want to become simps too!”

[-Is that so?]
[-BS]
[-Actually, I want to become a woman]
[-What’s with the guy who wants to become a woman? lol]

“It’s nice that the chat is so lively. Mmm, mmm, it suits a classy broadcast very well.”

I was in a good mood right from the start of the stream.
It really felt like deciding to change was the right choice.

“Alright, alright, I studied a ton late last night, you know? You can look forward to it.”

The methods female streamers use to farm simps.
I researched it while barely fighting off sleep.

I diligently kept the promise I made yesterday.

However, instead of praise, the chat room began to be spammed with lewd-looking emoticons.

[-Oh…]
[-[A pink emoticon with a lewd expression]]
[-The phrase ‘studied late at night’ is giving me some ideas]
[-Ooh la la]
[-This is s*x.]

“Ugh, you f*ck…”

For a moment, a curse almost slipped out habitually.

I can’t do that.
Right now, it’s a classy simp-farming stream.

“Everyone, stop with the weird thoughts! That’s not it, I meant I researched how to farm simps.”

Fine, I’ll show you with results.

I cleared my throat with a “hem, hem.”
Then, in a weak, drained voice, like someone who was very sick, I spoke.

“Ugh… s-suddenly… my head.”

[-?]
[-???]
[-What the lol]
[-I’m getting dizzy]
[-??]
[-What kind of template is this now?]

The viewers’ reactions were bewildered.
But I had fully expected this much.

Here, I have to act even more sickly.
Yes, for this moment, I must think of myself as a sickly beautiful girl.

“Y-yesterday… I think I pushed myself too hard playing games, so my head seems to hurt…”

[-Gaming injury lol]
[-The bullsh*t comes in all shapes and sizes lol]
[-Atama ga itai www]
(TL Note: Atama ga itai is Japanese for “my head hurts,” a common anime trope.)
[-So what are we supposed to do about it lol]
[-Looks like your head really does hurt lol]

“……”

What the.
This isn’t it.
This wasn’t the reaction I was expecting at all!

I immediately dropped the sickly beautiful girl concept and spoke with a straight face.

“No, no, what are you guys doing?”

[-??]
[-What do you mean]
[-What]
[-Whaddya mean]

“Nooo! That’s not the reaction…! A little more, that… yeah, you know, that thing!”

[-What thing]
[-That thing what]
[-?]
[-???]
[-What kind of reaction were you expecting?]

The viewers’ reactions were of complete cluelessness.

This is frustrating.
Do I have to spell it out for them one by one?

Good grief… it can’t be helped.

I began to explain at a rapid-fire pace, gesturing with my hands as if I were rapping.

“When I said I was sick, you guys are supposed to say, ‘Are you okay? Shouldn’t you rest today?’ That’s the normal reaction, isn’t it!? And then, I was supposed to reply with, ‘It’s okay, because I have you guys,’ leading to a moving moment of witty tiki-taka!”

How can my viewers be so heartless?

Yesterday, when the top-tier female streamer ‘Nunmurinayo-nim’, with 50,000 followers, said her finger hurt while playing a game, her simps licked it all up for her!

[-I see ㅠㅠㅠ]
[-I didn’t even know… I’m sorry, GOAT]
[-This is so sad ㅜㅜ]
[-Bullsh*t lol, who would react like that if you suddenly do it?]
[-Shut up ㅠㅠ Just sympathize with her ㅠㅠ]

Now that I finally explained it, the viewers are just mocking me even more.

F*ck, you didn’t understand a single thing.

[ㅇㅇ has donated 1,000 won!]
[We’ll react if you do it again.]

“IEung-IEung-nim, thank you for the 1,000 won. You’ll react if I do it again? Hmm…”

Along with the donation, chats started flooding in, saying they would really react this time.

Honestly, I was extremely suspicious, but I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt and spoke again in a sickly beautiful girl tone.

“Ugh… my head…”

-[‘Reacting’]
[-Idiot lol]
[-You fell for that lolol]
[-As if? lol]
[-So f*cking naive lolol]
[-Oh… can you do just the ‘Ugh’ part one more time?]

“……”

You sons of b*tches.

“Okay… I’ll admit it.”

One must be quick to admit failure.
My viewers were far too heartless to be swayed by sympathy for my pain.

But it’s still okay.

“Alright, then let’s move on to Simp Variation 2.”

[-What the hell is Simp Variation 2 lol]
[-You’re gonna keep going? lol]
[-Just turn on League, you attention wh*re lol]
[-You’re hilarious today lol]

I’m really confident about this one.
I even did a rehearsal in front of the mirror.

But first.

“Everyone, try cursing at me like you usually do.”

[-For real?]
[-Can we really do it?]
[-A masochist, I see]
[-This is a trap, everyone, don’t fall for it]

“You can really do it. But that doesn’t mean you should insult my parents.”

At my confirmation, the viewers were quiet for a moment as if testing the waters, then after one person typed ‘You b*tch,’ they started to chime in one by one.

[-Hey, you son of a b*tch]
[-You f*cking btch lol]
[-You bug-like b*stard lol]
[-Stop playing Irelia, you b*tch lol]
[-We don’t need a b*tch like you who’s a disgrace to the top lane]

I told them to do it and they’re really spewing curses.
These are the same b*stards who wouldn’t listen to me at all a moment ago….

Still, I’ve baited them enough.

“Ah, ah…”

Now, I lower my voice as much as possible and immerse myself in emotion.
Yes, I feel hurt.

I am truly hurt.
I did nothing wrong, but I was cursed at.

Hmph… so sad.

“E-everyone, why are you being like this to me today…?”

[-?]
[-????]
[-You told us to curse at you]
[-What the]
[-Unstable mode, activated]

The viewers were bewildered once again.

It’s a natural reaction.
Anyone would treat me like a crazy b*tch if I suddenly told them to curse at me and then said, ‘You’re so mean.’

This is the important point.
In other words, everything was a build-up for the next line.

But this really isn’t easy… I practiced it several times in front of the mirror to get used to it, but now that I’m about to say it into the mic, I feel like my cringe resistance is already running low.

But I have to say it.
This line might scratch my pride, but if this one phrase can create the simps that will bring me success, I’ll be satisfied with that.

As cutesy as possible, I spoke curtly like a tsundere heroine from an anime.

“I-I’m really mad now… h-hmph!”

[-?]
[-?????]
[-???]
[-?????]
[-?]

A wave of countless question marks washed over the chat room.
A wave of shame washing over my heart was a bonus.

My cheeks flushed incredibly hot.
Still, in this moment, I stared intently at the chat room.

Hehe… hehehehe!

How about that.
You’re surprised, aren’t you?
Surprised because I’m so f*cking cute, right!?

What do you think of a tsundere character served up by an S-rank school beauty like this?                                                                                                                                          (TL Note: A “tsundere” is a Japanese term referring to a character archetype, particularly common in anime and manga, who is initially harsh, rude, or cold towards their romantic interest but gradually reveals a warmer, kinder side.) 

What do you think, what do you think!?

[-Ugh… sh*t]
[-I’m gonna puke, f*ck lol]
[-I’m out, cya]
[-Crazy b*tch lolol]
[-H-hmph, what the hell lolol]
[-Can I report this for hateful content?]

“……”

It was a failure this time too.

[-Isn’t this b*tch trying to sabotage the simp culture on purpose at this point? lol]
[-As expected of the Dark Knight, Kang lol]
[-Now this is black comedy lolol]

My lips trembled.

I stayed up late exploring other female streamer rooms and studied so hard.
I practiced so hard in front of the mirror, imitating tsundere anime characters.                                                                                                                                                              

All of it failed.
My efforts were useless.

All that remained was the greatest shame of my life. I might even be mocked for it as a dark part of my history.

Ah.
So f*cking embarrassing.

I couldn’t hold it in any longer and burst out in indignation.

“You son of a b****tch…! Just get brewed already, you sons of b*tches!”

[-Uh oh, her mask is cracking]
[-Where’s the classy broadcast?]
[-I don’t know about farming simps, but your clown power is a pass-yo lol]

“Ah, ah… seriously, this is so f*cking annoying!! You guys are hopeless.”

If it’s come to this, it can’t be helped.

The viewers’ mockery, criticism, and contempt.
I can’t take it anymore.

I was originally going to pull this out after they were brewed a bit more… but I have no choice.

First, I need to calm my anger for a moment.

Fuwa fuwa.
Fuwa fuwa time.

Okay.
I’m calm.

I clicked on a folder on my desktop.

And.

“Ta-da! It’s the new map overlay-yo?”

My special move.
I displayed the mirror selfie I took yesterday on the stream screen.

“What do you think-yo? Isn’t it so pretty-yo? Isn’t your heart being brewed right now-yo?”

[-??]
[-What the]
[-Kyaa]
[-????]
[-What is this?]
[-?]

Oh….

This time, their reaction seemed genuinely surprised.