Chapter 4: Kind Lily Girl

Fifth day since entering school.

I barely avoided wetting myself, but I’m at the point of regretting not just letting it out cleanly.

I should have scared Alicia off completely and made her run for the hills.

“Are you okay today?”

Why does she always run up to me like that asking if I’m okay?

If you ask whether I’m okay or not, I’m absolutely not.

I’m depressed as hell because I keep seeing you flirting with every girl in class like it’s your mission.

I think about it again today, and I really wish you’d invest all that care and attention in a more yuri-worthy direction than someone like me.

Already exhausted and staying silent, the class president asked again with concern.

“Are you feeling sick?”

To her, what the hell am I supposed to be?

What kind of relationship is it when the first thing someone asks you every time they see you is whether you’re sick?

This is totally the ‘sickly beautiful girl’ treatment.

Too bad for you—I’m neither sickly nor beautiful.

While I sat there wheezing like a soulless corpse, Dana showed up out of nowhere and scolded the class president.

“Stop clinging to her already.”

“Clinging? I was just saying hi.”

“You don’t even know she doesn’t like it.”

“Who doesn’t like who?”

“You. Who else?”

“That can’t be right.”

“…”

Wow. She’s got the most infuriating lack of self-awareness.

What is that stance? Is she some kind of lunatic who doesn’t even get the concept of being disliked?

If it had been anyone other than Alicia saying that, I would’ve been silently screaming in my head.

But she’s so perfect and lovely that even her annoying remarks seem charming.

Thanks to that, even Dana was at a loss for words and just frowned slightly…

And I was so thrilled by the sight that I let out a giddy snort through my nose.

What’s this chemistry?

It’s like watching the very first moment the class troublemaker gets tamed by the model student.

Their faces look so good together, and they already have this kind of dynamic?

As expected, my yuri radar is flawless at spotting potential.

If it weren’t for this intruding—no, polluting—presence in the middle (me), this would have been a perfect moment.

I felt like rotting from the inside at the realization that I, the contaminant, was ruining the pure yuri mood, but the scene in front of me was so blissful I just shut up and watched.

“Haaa…”

Go ahead. Call me selfish.

But how often do you get to see two beautiful girls sincerely butting heads like this?

They bicker, they fight, then suddenly they’re rubbing against each other, and then oh my god oh my god look at them, damn it, they’re rubbing again, rub and rub until they wear each other outーーーーー!!

“Bluhhh—”

Personally, I hope Dana ends up on the bottom.

That wildcat type getting thoroughly trained and tamed sounds amazing.

Usually she acts all tough and cocky, but I want to see her helpless on the bed, begging, “Please stop,” with tears streaming down her face as punishment for unintentionally tempting a sadistic girl.

Oh god, that’s so hot, ehe, ehehe, uhuhuhuhuhu…!

Oh.

“Hey, you…!”

“You’re bleeding. Quick, to the nurse’s office!”

W-Wait, no! I don’t want this!

Why now, in the middle of their perfect bickering?

Just ignore me already. It’s just a nosebleed!

Why do you keep making me look like I have no social awareness?

Okay, fine, maybe I’m the one at fault.

How could these sweet girls not react when someone in front of them suddenly starts bleeding?

Ah, damn it.

To think I ruined such a golden moment…

I want to die. I should’ve already been reduced to cosmic dust…!

…

…

…

As expected,

By the time I returned from the nurse’s office, Dana and the class president’s yuri-laced skirmish—no, their innocent yuri love fest—had vanished without a trace.

I didn’t know where Alicia had gone.

Dana was sitting by the window, glanced at me briefly as I came in, then huffed and turned her head away.

Ah. I want to cry.

I ran back here right after the check-up just to see them flirting.

I was momentarily crushed, but maybe this wasn’t such a bad thing.

I was starting to feel unwell from being the useless extra stuck in the middle anyway.

Yeah. It’s better this way.

With that in mind, I slumped down in a corner and quietly activated my yuri radar again.

As I breathed in the air of this yuri-dense, lady-filled classroom, I felt my worn-out body instantly revived.

If only I weren’t here, it would’ve been perfect.

But if I weren’t here, I wouldn’t be able to witness these scenes firsthand—what irony.

As I wallowed in this philosophical despair over whether to live or die,

My radar started blaring a red alert.

Uh-oh, someone’s coming this way.

I whistled innocently, pretending not to notice.

“Um…”

Pretend not to hear. Ignore, ignore.

Dana being a childhood friend is one thing, but getting involved with Alicia? I cry every night regretting it.

I absolutely, absolutely refuse to taint any more pure girls.

So the only answer is to give them nothing to work with.

Behold the ultimate ignore-everything technique: pretend you’re a soulless brat.

“Your hair’s pretty. Like cherry blossoms.”

Okay, I’ll shave it all off immediately.

So not even a speck of pink remains.

“Your eyes… I’ve never seen this color before.”

Yeah, I’ll just gouge them out.

…Wait, if I do that, I won’t be able to see girls flirting anymore.

This is too cruel. I mean, sure I’m a cursed TS girl, but isn’t this just a little too much…?!

“Won’t you look this way, already?”

Ah. Shit. What is this?

Why do these ‘event triggers’ keep happening to me?

Well, I guess just looking won’t hurt.

It’s not like I plan to gouge my eyes out or anything.

I sighed like the world was ending and finally made eye contact.

And groaned.

“Huh?”

She’s insanely pretty.

Goddamn adorable.

“Finally, you’re looking at me.”

But this isn’t yuri, though?

Normally I’d be chewing her out in my head, but right now I was so captivated by her face I missed my chance.

Just making eye contact and she smiles like she’s accomplished something.

Why is that so cute?

My heart hurts. She has the kind of gentle face that makes your chest flutter just from looking at her.

Long hair that looks like a blend of gray and brown suits her perfectly.

Her vibe is a little mature.

Not older, exactly, but radiating warmth from her whole being.

She just exists, and everything around her seems brighter.

She’s like… an older sister.

As someone completely corrupted by the yuri genre, the fact that I immediately thought of the word “sister” says a lot about how highly I rank her.

She was like a perfect, pristine flower—100 out of 100 points—a pure yuri beauty standing right in front of me.

“My name’s Sena.”

Is this some kind of trend now?

Random girls just coming up and introducing themselves?

Alicia did the same thing. And now this girl?

I was on the verge of tears.

Please, just talk to each other instead of dragging me in.

“It’s nothing big. I was just worried. Yesterday you fainted, and now today you’ve got a nosebleed…”

“Oh. Uh. Th-Thanks…?”

“No need to thank me.”

What is this warmth?

We’re just talking, but it feels like I’m soaking in an aromatic bath.

But that’s as far as it went.

I wasn’t going to entertain this suspicious yuri angle coming at me again.

So I deliberately stayed silent.

Whistled away like I didn’t care.

I’d rather be the rude one than get involved again.

My heart hurts, but I’ll make that sacrifice for the greater good.

Ah. My heart hurts too much to even whistle…

Whether she knew I was ignoring her or not, Sena seemed to hesitate, lips moving like she had something to say.

I had a bad feeling.

And my bad feelings never miss.

“I want to be friends.”

“…What?”

“Ehehe. Too sudden?”

Yeah. Like, way too sudden.

Nope. Absolutely not. That’s a hard no.

“I was worried. What if you faint again?”

Okay, I get that you’re kind.

But what does that have to do with being friends?

More importantly, this kind of attention is just… overwhelming.

I’ll say it again—I’m not sickly or beautiful, damn it…!

I couldn’t process anything and just stared blankly at her face.

Then, blushing, Sena fidgeted and said shyly,

“If it makes you uncomfortable, we can keep it a secret from everyone…”

“…Huh?”

Keep… what a secret? Being friends?

Secret friends? What the hell?

This girl isn’t just suggestive—this is basically s*x.

She’s walking s*x.

You can’t be this cute, kind, and sweet and sexy. That’s just unfair.

Are you some heavenly yuri blanket or something?

Ah, wait—blood’s rushing to my head.

Just imagining squeezing yuri juice from this girl is going to make my brain explode.

It’s exploding. My brain is blowing up. I’m going to be murdered by a lewd anime girl…!

“Blargghhh—!”

“Eek, your nose—!”

The fact that she only mentioned the nosebleed after seeing my entire mess of a self proves how genuinely kind she is.

I was drooling from how much I liked her, bawling because I couldn’t handle why this was happening to me, and yet she just gently pointed out the bleeding.

Kind, yuri smile girl is the best…