Chapter 4: The Crab Soup

“Ahem.”

“……”

“Hehe!”

The Demon King, Devil, was not pleased with the uninvited guest who had crashed his precious mealtime with his daughter.
An uninvited guest who deserved to be torn to shreds.

“A-Ahem… Next… is the crab soup…”

“…Twitch…!”

At the word ‘crab,’ the Demon King, Devil, became even more displeased.

“Crab…? Did you say crab?”
“Are you referring to that disgustingly chalky and tasteless powdered medicine one takes when their horns are broken or scratched, or to maintain them?”

The fact that this uninvited guest, who deserved to be torn to shreds, was saying that the disgustingly tasteless crab he ate every night before bed to maintain his proud horns was in this dish only worsened his mood!

“Th-The taste is nothing like the crab you’re thinking of, My Lord… Please, have a bite.”

“That’s wight, Daddy! You ate the other thing Teo Ajeossi and I made together, and it was yummy!”

Even his beloved little girl was taking the side of that rip-worthy guest…
Inside the Demon King, Devil, a hellfire capable of burning down the entire world, far surpassing mere fury, was beginning to concentrate…

“…No matter what, to eat crab… Gasp!”

“Daddy! I fed you! How is it?”

“……Gulp!”

Unable to spit out the food his beloved daughter had fed him, the Demon King, Devil, swallowed his tears and forced down the soup of that tasteless crab that had entered his mouth.

“Oh… Oh… Ohh??”

Immediately after swallowing the broth, the Demon King, Devil, seemed so surprised that his red eyes widened by another 0.7mm…

“Haaah! Haaah! Slurrrp!!! Kuah… Slurrrrrup!!!! Kuahhhhh!!!!”

“Ah… Daddy… m-me too… I wanted to eat with you… hic…”

“Ahem… Beelzebub? Here. I’ve portioned some out for you in a separate bowl.”

“Hyaaa!!! Thank you, Teo Ajeossi!”

Without even realizing that the hellfire concentrating within him was being washed away, he emptied the bowl.

“Ahem… I have shown an unsightly side of myself…”

“I hate you, Daddy! I wanted to eat with you!”

The Demon King’s eyebrows lowered by about 6 degrees!
A very positive sign!

“Ha… haha… Thank you very much for enjoying the meal, My Lord.”

“Hmm… It was certainly the exact opposite of the crab I knew. How curious… truly curious.”
“How can you create such a delicacy from such a tasteless crab? I wonder.”

“If I tell you, will you let me live…?”

“No? That and this are two separate issues.”

This isn’t easy…
Teo! -1 hour!

“No!!! Daddy! Did you forget what I said? You can’t kill Teo Ajeossi!!”

Beelzebub’s tearful defense to save me once again…
How dependable!
Lawyer Beelzebub!

“Beelzebub… think about it.”
“What if we let this man live, and Franz finds out about this secret base?”

“F-Franz…”

“If Franz finds out… an immense storm of nagging will be waiting for us at the castle…”

“Eek… Eek…!!”

This is unsettling…
It feels like a courtroom where the opposing prosecutor is Lawyer Beelzebub’s law school senior…

“I don’t wike it when F-Franz nags…”

Uh… Beelzebub…?
Are you thinking of giving up on the defense already…?

“That is why this father was planning to dispose of this man, Beelzebub. Do you now understand your father’s intentions?”

“Hmm…”

And Lawyer Beelzebub was seriously contemplating it…

“Th-That will never happen, My Lord!!!”
“This humble body! I’m an orphan, so I have nowhere to go and no one I know!!”

At my rapidly spoken words, the angle of the Demon King’s eyebrows rose by 2 degrees…
Ah… it’s over…

“Hmm…? Say that again… What was that?”

“Umm… That will never happen…?”

“Before that.”

“This… humble body…?”

“Before that!!”

Ugh… the Demon King’s first shout…
Are my newly recovered eardrums about to burst again?

“I’manorphansoIhavenowheretogoandnooneIknow!!!!!”

As the words tumbled out of my mouth as if I were possessed by a rapid-fire rapper, the Demon King’s eyebrows shot up 9 degrees…
Ah… so being an orphan was the problem…
It’s over.
I should just accept it…

“Grit… The Minister of Rites… did he submit a false report to me…?”
“Right… how long has it been since the era of peace arrived? There’s no way orphans would disappear so quickly.”
“I wanted to tear them to shreds, but sending them to the Ministry of Rites to avoid the watchful eyes of the High Demons was my mistake…”

The Demon King’s anger doesn’t seem to be directed at me!
I’m saved!!
I’m sav… ed?

“Daddy… your face is scary…”

“Hmph… I’m sorry, Beelzebub…”

Hearing Beelzebub’s worried voice as she looked at his distorted face, the Demon King’s expression changed in an instant, and he stroked her head.
But the angle of his eyebrows remained high…
I should just stay f*cking still.

“You there, citizen.”

I was trying to stay f*cking still… but the Demon King just had to call on me again.

“Yes!!! My Lord!”

“Are you certain you’re an orphan? Are you absolutely sure you have no mother or father?”

The Demon King was suddenly asking about my parents…
Well… I have them, but… should I tell him they’re beyond the cosmic background radiation?

“I… I really don’t have any…”
“My very first memory is of being abandoned in a trash can…”

Sniffle…
I’m sorry, Mom! Dad! I don’t want to have my limbs torn off!

“Then… do you truly have no one you know?”

Was my answer correct?
The Demon King’s eyebrows lowered by about 10 degrees.
This is my chance!!

“Th-That’s right!! I don’t know a single person! No one! Absolutely no one!!!”

“There’s no need to shout. My eardrums have fully recovered.”

The Demon King said, waving his noble hand at me… I… I’m saved…!

“Hic… Ajeossi is so pitiful… I don’t have a mommy, but I have a Daddy…”

And Beelzebub was taking pity on me…
This feeling is… it’s something… something else…?

“Hmmmmmm……………”

And the Demon King’s unsettling silence continued for about 69.74 seconds…

“Alright. Considering that you are an orphan with no parents and that no one knows of your existence, I shall let you live for the time being.”

The verdict from Judge Demon King!
No mom, no dad, no acquaintances, therefore, a suspended sentence!
Bang, bang, bang!
No take-backs, My Lord!!

“Th-Thank you!!! Thank you!!!”

“However!”

?

“You are not to leave mine and my daughter’s secret base… that is, this cabin. You will be its caretaker.”

“Wow!!! Daddy! That’s a great idea! Great, great!!”

Excuse me? A guard?

“Umm… when you say caretaker…”

As I asked with about two question marks in my voice, the Demon King looked around the cabin and spoke.

“As you can see, this secret base where my daughter and I secretly play together is, as the name suggests, a secret known only to the two of us. As such, there is no one to manage it, and it is quite rundown.”

Hmm… It’s true… there was a layer of dust on the antique furniture…
And a spiderweb on the Demon King’s portrait… Ah! The Demon King just shot a death beam and cleanly zapped it away!

-Fzzt…-

“…For that reason. You, a person whose existence no one, including parents or friends, will ever search for, will be hired as this cabin’s caretaker and chef.”

“Umm… My Lord? What if I refuse this offer…?”

Honestly, you’d be curious, right?
What would the Demon King say if I refused this offer?

“Hmm? Then you will never see your arms and legs again, and your head will be stuffed and mounted in my office at the castle…”

“I will do my utmost to manage and cook from now on, My Lord!”

Well..!
One should only be curious about things one should be curious about!
Teo! You ungrateful bastard! How dare you ask such an impertinent question when the Demon King himself has given you a chance?

“Wow!!! Then, Teo Ajeossi! Does this mean I get to see you every day when I come to the secret base??”

“Yes. That is correct, Princ…”

“Sniffle… Sniffle…“

“Belze…”

“Stare…“

Haa… Hell’s Choice… this is really driving me crazy…

In any case, the completely jobless Teo succeeded in not only surviving but also getting a job!

(Around noon tomorrow, I will replenish the ingredients via a portal. Until then, make sure to clean our secret base.)

(Teo Ajeossi!! Bye-bye! See you tomorrow!!)

Leaving Teo with a tension-filled preview of his return, the Demon King went back to the castle.

“Phew… They’re still attached… My arms and legs… My neck… Th-They’re still attached!! Kuahhh!! I’ve overcome the greatest crisis of my life!! Well done, Kim Teo!!”

In the eerie, empty cabin, Teo shouted along with the cleanly emptied bowls.

“Phew… First, cleaning until noon tomorrow… that’s going to be a little tough…”
“No! When I think about hauling mana stones in the mine just a few hours ago… this is a piece of cake!”
“Come to think of it… being a cabin caretaker might not be so bad…?”

For a ‘mixed-blood,’ an untouchable in the Magocratic Kingdom… no, in the entire world, getting room and board was out of the question.
Unlike his past days of working his ass off and worrying if he’d even get paid for the day, Teo was surprisingly satisfied with the caretaker position, which, while there was no mention of a salary, at least guaranteed him a place to sleep and food to eat.

“Alright! Let’s do this!”
“Since no one in this world knows me, I have nowhere else to go anyway.”
“If I just think of this as my home from now on, being a caretaker should be manageable!”
“Alright! Let’s get to cleaning! First, the dust with a broom…”

As expected!
Was it because he had adapted to this crappy isekai for many years?
The speed at which he spun his happy-go-lucky mental circuits was on a different level from ordinary people…
Hang in there, Teo! Bravo, Teo!

“Hyaaawn!! That was so~ yummy! Right, Daddy?”

“Yes, I hate to admit it… but I can’t deny the taste was exceptional.”

Having returned to the office through the portal from the secret base, the father and daughter were enjoying a tea time, savoring the afterglow of the meal they had just polished off.

“The tea is well-brewed today. The oil garnished on top of the tea is also good.”

Hmm… no matter how I look at it, it’s a cold, unidentified black tea with no steam, garnished with sesame oil…
It doesn’t look like something a human should drink…
But it’s probably best not to say such bad things, right?

“Ugh… Daddy… After eating the food Teo Ajeossi and I made together, this tea tastes yucky…”

The two had finally developed a normal palate.

“Then, then! Daddy! Let’s go to the secret base again tomorrow!
I wanna cook with Teo Ajeossi again tomorrow!”

Beelzebub, who had put down the teacup she was only holding for decoration after one sip, giggled and told the Demon King she wanted to go again tomorrow, but…

“That won’t be possible. Tomorrow is your monthly evaluation day, is it not?”

Shock!
Her father’s firm declaration that she couldn’t go to the secret base tomorrow!

“B-B-But…”

Beelzebub was so shocked she even started to stutter.
Seeing his beloved little girl stuttering from shock, the Demon King felt his heart break, but he couldn’t help it.
The monthly evaluation had to be done, didn’t it?

“I will not apologize, Beelzebub.”
“You surely remember the promise you made with your father when we created the secret base.”

“Yes… I know… a pwomise is a pwomise…”

At her father’s mention of a promise, Beelzebub’s usually bright eyes dimmed and she became sullen, but she accepted it.
Ah! So cute!

Seeing his entire world looking dejected, the Demon King felt uneasy and added a footnote.

“A-Ahem… My daughter? If you get a good result on tomorrow’s monthly evaluation, how about we go to the secret base the day after and tell the caretaker to make a new dish?”

“Hyaaa!!! Okay!!”

Beelzebub, resurrected.