Chapter 4: Why Has No One…

I should have checked the time before I threw the phone away. Or at least the date.

I knew roughly half a year had passed, but I wasn’t sure exactly how long.

Always indoors, always in that small room. The only variation was the operating table with its glaring lamps.

At some point, I had blurred, dissolving into Yoo Ha-rin. Like sugar slowly melting in a few drops of warm water.

How did this happen? Because someone like me, destined for a life of misery in the back alleys, overreached?

I should have been clinging to a meaningless existence, clinging to men even in the sticky heat of summer, even as the freezing winds of winter battered the windows.

A pathetic life, finding solace only in the fact that a world-saving warrior was once my friend.

While she, the warrior herself, had forgotten me completely, surrounded by adoration.

I had a dream last night. A dream of long ago.

I was just watching someone, their body glowing.

I knew who she was. My childhood friend.

But I couldn’t remember her face.

I remembered everything else – her words, our arguments, the cheap chocolate we shared to make up, her name, the comfort she offered after my parents died, even our childish promises of marriage.

I even remembered the footprints in the snow as we ran through our village.

I inhaled the strangely thick, coppery air, taking slow, deliberate breaths.

I had to stop thinking.

I poured bottled water over my head, roughly wiping my face.

I looked in the mirror again. My reflection was so clear, more repulsive than ever.

My eyes were dry, bloodshot upon closer inspection, though the redness was masked by their unusual color.

I looked like a lonely recluse, contemplating death. Where was the vibrancy, the cheerfulness of a sixteen-year-old? Only weariness and pain remained.

What was becoming of me? I talked about novels, but where was I really? And who was I?

I had cast aside my own forgotten name and become Yoo Ha-rin.

And I felt no affection for her.

What did I used to do? I couldn’t remember.

I went to elementary school with Seo-jun! We only had to show up once a week to prove we were alive. Sometimes we had homework, but mostly, we just played.

We hunted birds, gathered firewood, drew pictures together, talked, played games.

It was fun. Beyond comparison to now.

So, what did I do with my life? I couldn’t recall.

I… I didn’t do much before coming here.

I couldn’t afford middle school. My parents’ money was almost gone when I ended up here.

When my mother, the only family I had left, died of an illness, Seo-jun comforted me as I wept, slumped against the wall.

Perhaps I lived for that memory, more than anything else.

That’s why I wanted to see her again.

But remembering how awkward we had become, our conversations faltering, even our shared memories seeming joyless… perhaps I didn’t want to see her after all.

“What are you thinking about?”

I looked up. It was Team Leader Joo. She was practically my handler now.

“When I can leave this place.”

“I told you, as soon as we can control you and gather more samples, you can go anywhere.”

“I don’t want to be controlled by you.”

“I don’t want to manage a teenage girl either. They’re emotional, demanding, sensitive. Though that doesn’t seem to apply to you.”

She stretched, grinning.

“We received approval from higher-ups.”

“Approval for what?”

“They’ve authorized us to use… stronger methods to ensure your cooperation. After all, we just need your samples, not a functioning you.”

Handcuffs dropped from the ceiling.

“I wonder why I ever thought of you as a person. A sensitive young girl, at that.”

Perhaps one of the guards I killed yesterday had been her lover.

Her slightly red eyes suggested she had been crying. Or perhaps she was simply pleased to have permission to hurt me.

I didn’t want to be gassed again, so I placed my hands in the cuffs.

They snapped shut.

Gas started to fill the room. I tried to climb the walls, but it was futile. I pounded on the acrylic window with the cuffs.

She smirked, pulling a gas mask from her bag and putting it on.

“Why?! I’m wearing them!! Ugh…”

“I told you, we only need samples, Number Eleven.”

The metal clang of the gas mask echoed as the door opened. I was still conscious.

I struggled, desperate for air, but my body was healed, my hands bound.

As I tried to bite my arm, she grabbed my hair, slammed my head against the floor, and stomped on it.

“You’re so stupid to mistake consideration for a right. That’s why you’re here.”

Her words were clear, even through the burning gas.

What followed was simple. The department head and Team Leader Joo taunted me, stabbing and hitting me with weapons from the wall.

They severed my arms, then reattached them. They severed my legs, then reattached them.

They half-severed my neck. I blacked out, and when I came to, it was healed.

Miraculously so.

The problem was the absence of any anesthetic – no morphine, no codeine, not even alcohol.

I endured it all, fully conscious.

They gagged me, smashed my face with a hammer, the worst part being when they hit the gag itself.

When cut or stabbed, I couldn’t see their expressions. It didn’t take much force to mutilate my small body.

But the hammer was different. Their movements, the swing of their arms… they looked like they were enjoying it. And they probably were.

“Ugh… ugh…”

The gag prevented screams, but the muffled cries of pain tore at my throat.

The department head grinned, burning my flesh, collecting the charred pieces in a white box. Team Leader Joo, oblivious to the blood splattering her, continued to dissect, sever, and reassemble me.

How many days passed? It felt like a month, but it could have been just one.

I passed out from the pain, was revived with stimulants, then passed out again, repeating the cycle endlessly.

I marked the passage of time by the changes in their clothes.

Was I a less valuable test subject than I thought? Or were all test subjects simply disposable?

I thought about it again.

Had I done anything truly wrong? Wasn’t it their fault for refusing me a cup of coffee?

Looking at my current state, they deserved to die. And the people in front of me… they deserved to die too.

Perhaps all the researchers in this world deserved to die.

There were no more empty promises of release, no respite, no snacks or coffee.

I was in a novel, but nothing novel was happening.

In stories, someone always intervened. Even if they weren’t the protagonist, they wouldn’t suffer like this.

Why didn’t anyone…

My gaze met my detached left eye, rolling on the floor. Even in that lifeless eye, something was reflected.

I thought it was blood flowing from the socket, but there was something translucent mixed in.

Why didn’t anyone…