Chapter 40: Love And Hate

Empire Calendar —. X Month X Day.

“I really hate Mom…”

The girl’s eyes, gazing at the rain-streaked sky.

They held only profound emptiness.

Why is the soul here? And how can it converse with me?

Questions multiply, tailing one another. Perhaps until there are dozens.

I don’t even know why Sia Yggdrasil summoned me.

Surely, she must want something. That’s why she invited me here.

One thing I could tell for sure.

The soul of Sia Yggdrasil before my eyes right now was extremely unstable.

Outwardly, she might seem like an ordinary child eating, but, well.

To my eyes now, she looked on the verge of becoming a malevolent spirit.

What’s funny is that the soul hasn’t completely fallen. Numerically speaking, 1 to 3 percent showed the emotion of ‘hope’.

I couldn’t know for sure, but my eyes could see the state of the soul. Only here, of course. It disappears upon returning to reality.

Anyway, if possessing good energy or emotions, it’s white. Conversely, evil energy or emotions are black. If my theory is correct.

Based on my assumption, Sia Yggdrasil’s soul is almost entirely black now.

A faint, dimly shining white light is also visible.

However, soon, that white too will turn black.

‘And that soul was sleeping in the real body.’

Thinking carefully, the question arose: where was Sia Yggdrasil’s soul?

Leading to the suspicion of ‘perhaps’.

If that suspicion is correct.

‘Huh, can two souls exist together in one bod-.’

“Not together.”

Flinch.

Just like before. Did she read my thoughts and refute them?

My mind, filled with stray thoughts, calmed down, pushing aside the confusing information.

Right, I can unravel it one by one.

Sia Yggdrasil, who had been eating deliciously, was now calmly looking into my eyes.

She probably judged that hiding further was impossible.

“Then, what do you mean by ‘not together’?”

Since we both figured it out anyway, asking directly is the answer. Playing along pointlessly might lead to getting expelled without gaining anything.

“Exactly what I said. The souls can’t exist together.”

That statement only amplified my curiosity. What on earth did she want to say?

“We were one from the beginning.”

“What…?”

[Heh. This is yet another strange situation.]

This time, I agree wholeheartedly with the Goddess. One from the beginning? Never two in the first place?

The back of my head tingled. It felt like being hit with a brick. It was that incomprehensible, like watching the correct answer turn into the wrong one.

Regardless of my reaction, Sia Yggdrasil calmly continued speaking.

“So, we were originally one. Your soul and my soul are mixed.”

“What does that…”

The subsequent words made my head spin again. What does this mean?

Sia Yggdrasil’s soul and Kim Sia’s, meaning my soul, are mixed?

My head started aching before I could even organize my thoughts. Like learning too big of a truth. Like hearing something I shouldn’t have.

“Wait. Then why did you…?”

Run away? The words wouldn’t leave my mouth. She wasn’t dead.

It means she’s still alive even now.

And accepting the foreign entity called ‘Kim Sia’.

The word ‘run away’ was very appropriate. Because.

Sia Yggdrasil suppressed her own soul. Literally, she went deeper within her own body and sealed herself away with a lock.

Then ‘Sia’ from another world came in.

My head cooled rapidly. Before, when I first met the Goddess.

There were things the Goddess had said.

Same wish, was it? Or aspiration? Anyway, that had to be the same for possession to occur…

“Then…?”

“Right. You know?”

Like someone who hadn’t laughed in years. Sia Yggdrasil smiled awkwardly.

Then she uttered words that pained me. Words I deeply resonated with.

“I hate Mom.”

“……”

“No, I dislike and resent her.”

“……”

“Why did she leave the house that day?”

“……”

“Was work more important than her daughter?”

“……”

I couldn’t say anything.

“I wish Mom fell into despair.”

There was nothing I could say.

“If only. If only she hadn’t made that promise. I wouldn’t have gone outside that day.”

What promise she made, what she waited for. I couldn’t know. I just had to listen quietly, yet sadly.

Because it made sense.

“Right. Why did your mother do that? Promises should be kept. Must have been sad, Sia.”

Because I too hated, disliked, and resented my mother.

Therefore, I understood Sia Yggdrasil’s feelings before me now.

Of course, I don’t know how she came to harbor such feelings. I don’t want to know either. I just hope Sia Yggdrasil recovers even a little, now.

“Yes. It was sad. Incredibly sad. Was work that important to Mom? More than me? Until now, no, even going forward, I will harbor that question.”

“If that’s what you can do. Feel free to do so as much as you want.”

Pointless comfort is useless. Urging and helping the other person do what they can is most effective.

I didn’t have such people around me, so I eventually broke down. But I hope the cute kid in front doesn’t end up like that, so I plan to actively help her.

Even if it’s something bad.

[…This time, it’s not a matter for me to interfere in.]

Those words slightly eased my tension. Smiling faintly, I replied to the Goddess.

‘She’s a child just like me. I want to help her. Please understand, Goddess-nim.’

[If it invites negativity into the world, I must stop it.]

‘I’ll handle it somehow. Please close your eyes and wait.’

[Sigh… If I see any sign, I will be merciless.]

‘Heh. That’s enough. Thank you.’

[Good that you know.]

Having compromised with the Goddess thus, I looked back at Sia Yggdrasil. Her eyes, still smiling sadly, evoke melancholy.

“No one ever said such things to me. Strange.”

True, before I possessed her, she must have gotten along well with the villagers.

But they probably all paid no attention to the child.

If even one of those villagers had listened to Sia Yggdrasil. Wouldn’t that white light have grown a little bigger?

“But you know what’s also funny? Ehehe.”

Then Sia Yggdrasil laughed foolishly again.

At that sight, I rested my chin on my right arm, chuckled, and asked. Because that childish face suited her better.

“What is it?”

“Heehee. Still, I really like Mom. I like her so, so much I always want to stick close to her. Same as now.”

“Pfft. Right. I was like that too.”

“Uh-huh! I love Mom so much. But I also hate her just as much, I can’t get a grip.”

“Right? That ambiguous situation annoyed me too.”

“Heeheehee. So-.”

In the abruptly started talk, we both laughed foolishly, chattering and criticizing our respective mothers.

Forgetting homework and running away because Mom was scary.

Secretly eating snacks Mom left out.

Getting scolded for climbing trees.

Recalling happy memories amidst various situations, we continued talking, losing track of time.

Even while talking about such memories. I observed Sia Yggdrasil’s face.

Hating Mom so much she could go crazy. Yet also loving her, making her heart confused.

A little kid waiting endlessly in a world filled with longing for a mother who ‘never returns’.

A fragment of the past, a remnant. That was this world, a fictional world created by Sia Yggdrasil.

Naturally, being a fictional world. Someone who could receive her emotions couldn’t enter.

The world’s repulsive force was strong, and no matter how much Sia Yggdrasil imagined and tried to manifest Noah from that time, it wouldn’t happen.

Unable to withstand Sia’s emotions, it would soon scatter and disappear.

Probably, soon, this world too will vanish the moment I am expelled. And when she calls me again, it will be newly created.

So, in this world, nothing can exist beside Sia Yggdrasil. Because everything is an illusion, a fake.

Look even now. Isn’t Chouchou nowhere to be seen? This means the existence called Chouchou faded and disappeared from Sia Yggdrasil’s heart.

Conversely, the existence called Noah is too strong to enter.

In a lonely and desolate world. This little kid was enduring alone.

‘Pitiful thing.’

“Ihihi. Not pitiful… You were the same, weren’t you?”

“True.”

Come to think of it, this kid. Reads people’s thoughts freely.

“Because it’s the world I created. Isn’t that obvious?”

She’s right, I can’t even refute it. Tch.

“Anyway, time’s running out, so I’ll tell you now.”

Then Sia Yggdrasil spoke, her eyes settling seriously.

At her words, I swallowed and waited.

“I’ll call you again later. As you know, here I have the mindset of my 8-year-old self.”

Didn’t know…

“…Ahem. So right now, having this normal conversation is only possible because I created a slight opening. Probably next time we meet, I’ll revert to being a child as usual.”

‘In short, you’ll regress to infancy again later?’

“…Accurate, but strangely unpleasant.”

“Whatever. What you wanted to say.”

“Umm. Just, well. When I call again, please treat me like you’re dealing with a child…”

“That’s easy.”

Seems like her child mind and adult mind alternate.

“And.”

“And?”

‘What else are you going to ask for?’

“It’s easy, so I have a favor to ask.”

“Okay. Hurry up and tell me. You said time is running out.”

“Tell Mom I’m sorry.”

“…Okay.”

I couldn’t understand her thoughts, but as the one asked, I would grant the request.

“Thanks. See you again later then.”

“Okay. Hope we can talk like this then too.”

“I’ll figure something out.”

“Got it. Then.”

“Yeah. Bye.”

With that farewell, I was finally expelled from the world.

More accurately, the duration of the fictional world ended, so I came out.

Next time we meet. I hope I can see a slightly more energetic child.

Because if she’s broken like my past self, it would probably hurt my heart a little.

Returned to reality but didn’t open my eyes. Memories of my past life’s mother surfaced.

Broken even younger than Sia Yggdrasil.

Kim Sia’s childhood.

Different ‘Sia’s, yet sharing a common ‘love-hate’ for their mothers.

Damn love-hate.