Chapter 43: Life without him

Still, when I lay down on the bed, thoughts complicated my mind.

The soft mattress, big enough for a small girl’s entire body, felt unfamiliar, unlike the hard mattresses at the orphanage.

The people who made my bed in the morning and helped me with simple decorations in front of the vanity were also unfamiliar.

It was also unfamiliar to have people pour drinks for me at the large table in the spacious dining room.

Most of all, the fact that I had a family was the most unfamiliar.

“Did you wake up, Alice?”

Alice was listlessly stirring her soup when she raised her head and stared at the woman who entered the dining room.

The woman was Lee Jaeyeon, who had now become her adoptive mother. Still in her bathrobe, she was elegant despite her age.

Sitting across from Alice, she began to eat the prepared meal.

“You must have a lot to share while adjusting here. Until now, I haven’t intervened so you could adapt to this new environment.”

“…….”

“Or did I misjudge? Aren’t you curious why I was so fixated on you?”

“…I am curious.”

She wondered why Lee Jaeyeon had gotten so deeply involved with the orphanage, even bringing up her adoption.

“I’m just a worthless orphan.”

“If you were truly nothing, I wouldn’t have adopted you.”

Lee Jaeyeon tore a soft piece of bread and continued.

“Isn’t the world too clear?”

“What do you mean?”

“The literal meaning. The feeling that everything in your field of vision is precisely imprinted on your brain, and when you try to recall it later, it develops like a photograph.”

Lee Jaeyeon gazed into Alice’s blue eyes. Alice met Lee Jaeyeon’s dark eyes.

Alice sensed it as soon as she heard Lee Jaeyeon’s words.

Lee Jaeyeon saw the world in a similar way to her. Alice felt a sense of kinship with Lee Jaeyeon for a moment.

“Your extraordinary mental arithmetic and unmatched observational skills are thanks to that talent. As someone with a similar gift, I didn’t want that talent to rot in an orphanage.”

“Is this charity?”

“You know difficult words.”

“…Maru taught me.”

“Ah, that child.”

Lee Jaeyeon observed Alice’s face as she replied.

Her expression had been bland until now, but her rigid facial muscles relaxed when she mentioned Maru’s name.

“Did you say charity? In other words, regret… I had an unfortunate childhood, so I didn’t have many opportunities to hone this talent. I hope you won’t be broken like me and will successfully bloom your talent.”

Alice realized what Lee Jaeyeon wanted from her.

The chairman of Sungkwang was projecting her image onto Alice. By raising Alice, she was trying to resolve her regrets and satisfy her desire for projection.

No matter how she thought about it, it was far from the psychology of a typical adoptive mother.

“Life will be different from now on. From now on, nurture your abilities to your heart’s content in an environment where you lack nothing.”

After speaking, Lee Jaeyeon stood up. Eating only one piece of bread was all she had for her meal.

Watching Lee Jaeyeon leave the dining room, Alice buried her gaze back into the soup bowl.

‘An environment where you lack nothing….’

Lee Jaeyeon’s words were wrong.

The most important thing was missing here.

Time passed in an instant. Before she knew it, she was a middle school student, and puberty had begun.

It felt like she had spent longer in the orphanage.

That meant Alice’s current life was that empty.

She went to school, and when she returned home, she had extra lessons and toured Sungkwang affiliates.

As Lee Jaeyeon instructed, Alice absorbed all that knowledge without hesitation. That knowledge was not just static.

“Good! One more time!”

Kim Hyerim, the executive assistant, shouted to Alice, holding the mitt higher. After a brief run-up, Alice jumped high and stretched out her flexible legs.

Thwack!

Alice’s kick landed crisply on the mitt. Alice landed lightly on the floor and wiped the sweat flowing down her white neck.

“Wow~. Bravo~.”

Lee Yujeong, the lawyer, who was watching from a nearby terrace, clapped her hands.

“I’m not familiar with martial arts, but when I saw it, it looked like a crane!”

“You’re right. The young lady’s posture is perfect.”

At Lee Yujeong’s fuss, Kim Hyerim took off the mitt and threw it on the ground.

Alice’s athleticism was on a different level from that of ordinary people.

She was excellent at predicting the opponent’s movements and sensing how to use her body joints.

‘Especially her sense of distance is so precise that it’s like a machine.’

Just now, when she kicked the mitt with her foot, that sense of distance shone.

Instead of pushing the mitt with her foot more than necessary, she fixed the exact point of impact on the mitt and lifted her foot only as much as needed.

There was no wasted force in her movements, so her punches and kicks were so strong that it was difficult to find an equal at her age level.

‘She’ll be successful in any field she goes into.’

“Thank you for your hard work, young lady.”

The lawyer and the executive assistant used to speak casually when they first met Alice, but now they spoke formally to Alice.

Alice, flicking her long ponytail, sat on the bench and chugged bottled water. Each time her neck moved, her chest, covered by a sports bra, moved roughly back and forth.

“I’m so jealous of her body…. That’s a middle school student’s body….”

Lee Yujeong sat next to Alice and wiped the sweat flowing under her chest and abdomen with a handkerchief.

Despite Lee Yujeong’s friendly attitude, Alice remained stern. Kim Hyerim looked at Alice with a complicated expression and opened her mouth.

“It’s almost time for the inspection. I’ll have the car ready, so why don’t you take a shower?”

At those words, Alice went into the house without saying anything. Lee Yujeong shook the towel and sighed.

“It’s been a few years since we met, but she still hasn’t opened her heart….”

“…Isn’t that obvious? She was practically forced to come here for the orphanage.”

“Oh~. Still, you can grow fond of someone if you see them for a long time~. Every time I see the young lady, I’m dying to have a child? I wish I could have such a reliable daughter.”

“Then go on a blind date.”

“There are no men who catch my eye. Should I just adopt like the chairman?”

It was an arrogant statement, but Kim Hyerim inwardly agreed that Lee Yujeong was capable of it.

“But is the young lady like that at school too? Can she make friends?”

“Friends… it’s hard to say, but there are kids who follow her around.”

“If they’re not friends, then what, lackeys?”

“Similar. There used to be a group that bullied the young lady, but after she dealt with them, many of them started to idolize her on their own.”

“That’s bold. To mess with the chairman’s only daughter.”

“There’s also the term ‘middle school syndrome.’ The vigor of youth paralyzes reason. When I listened to the circumstances, they were just jealous of the young lady.”

“So, what is it…. The top dog? As expected of the young lady.”

Kim Hyerim closed her mouth at Lee Yujeong’s reaction. The two women had different perspectives on the incident. Kim Hyerim sometimes didn’t understand why Lee Yujeong became a lawyer.

“Still, I wish she would get along well with the chairman at home.”

“That’s….”

Kim Hyerim was certain that such a thing would never happen, even if the sky were to split in two.

“Why do you have that expression? The chairman has changed a lot too.”

“What has changed?”

“She used to see Alice as a simple doll, but now… there’s something emotional in her eyes. Is that what they call affection?”

“…Unscientific.”

“I’ve cultivated my insight by seeing all kinds of people in court, so trust me. If the two mothers and daughters open up and talk to each other, they’ll become close quickly, right?”

“They don’t have open conversations.”

“…That’s true.”

“I’m ready.”

Alice appeared, interrupting the two women’s conversation. She had apparently finished her shower quickly, as she came out quite early.

Wearing a black skirt suit, she looked like a young entrepreneur from a venture company.

“Then let’s go.”

Kim Hyerim took Alice to the garage. When they arrived at the garage, they saw Chairman Lee Jaeyeon wiping a golf club.

“You’re here.”

Lee Jaeyeon put down the golf club and gestured towards the car. Alice sat in the back seat, and Kim Hyerim headed to the driver’s seat.

Even as they headed to the affiliate, Lee Jaeyeon asked Alice questions.

“Come to think of it, what was for lunch two days ago?”

“White rice, grilled croaker, kimchi, beef soup, and mango pudding.”

“What about the group that’s been annoyingly following you around at school these days?”

“I’ve tied them together under the guise of a study group. It’ll look good to the teachers too, and it seems easier to manage that way.”

Lee Jaeyeon’s questions were topics that seemed to evaluate Alice’s abilities on the surface. As if she were seeing her daughter as a machine or a tool.

But perhaps because she had just heard Lee Yujeong’s words.

It sounded like Lee Jaeyeon was asking those questions because she was curious about her only daughter’s school life.

Kim Hyerim glanced in the rearview mirror. Alice was looking out the window, but Lee Jaeyeon’s eyes were directed towards Alice.

In those eyes, she could see emotions other than the coldness of a businesswoman.

“Happy birthday.”

“You’ll be entering society soon. I look forward to working with you then.”

“I’m the head of the Yutaek Ulsan Cooperative. We’ve recently signed a contract with Sungkwang.”

“You’ve become more beautiful. Do you have any children you’re dating?”

It was Alice’s birthday party hosted by Lee Jaeyeon, but today was not Alice’s birthday.

Alice intentionally ignored the surrounding noise and walked around. If she stood still, she would be surrounded soon.

Kim Hyerim and Lee Yujeong came into Alice’s sight. Alice approached the two women.

The two women, noticing Alice approaching, looked at her.

“Young lady? This is a corner….”

“Wow, the gold dress suits you well. It goes well with your blonde hair.”

“Where is the chairman?”

Alice asked about Lee Jaeyeon’s whereabouts. Kim Hyerim felt complicated emotions at the stiff title and opened her mouth.

“She’s busy and it seems she’ll only be able to come towards the end of the party today.”

“…If that’s the case, she shouldn’t have called me.”

Seeing Alice reveal her emotions unlike usual, Kim Hyerim swallowed hard.

Lee Yujeong opened her mouth to lighten the mood.

“Th, that’s right. The chairman prepared a gift for you. You didn’t receive one on your birthday last time, right? Just wait a little longer….”

“I’m going back. Tell the chairman.”

The two women couldn’t stop Alice. Before they knew it, both the host and the main character of the party had disappeared.

“This is really bleak.”

Next to the gloomy Lee Yujeong, Kim Hyerim checked her phone.

[Lee Jaeyeon: Keep her there until I arrive.]

[Lee Jaeyeon: I have a gift to give.]

[Lee Jaeyeon: (Picture)]

[Lee Jaeyeon: You said she like steamed potatoes. I’ll buy these too.]

After checking the conversation history, Kim Hyerim looked at the ceiling of the hall and sighed deeply.

‘The emotions are too twisted.’

The first button was fastened wrong from the start.

Meanwhile, Alice threw off her dress in the dressing room and changed into a suit. Then, she waited for the elevator to leave the hotel.

While waiting for the elevator, she felt a vibration from her phone. It was a call from Chairman Lee Jaeyeon.

Alice stared at the phone screen for a long time, then bit her lip and answered the phone.

“Why did you call?”

[Do I need a reason to call my daughter?]

“I’ll hang up if you have nothing to say.”

[You’re going home. Why are you acting so arbitrarily?]

“Arbitrarily…?”

Alice chuckled and roughly loosened her tie, opening her shirt collar. She felt suffocated.

“My birthday was a long time ago, and the host hasn’t even arrived yet. I don’t want to be in such a hollow place anymore.”

[I regret missing your birthday. That’s why I made the arrangement, even if it’s late.]

“It’s a social gathering disguised as a birthday party.”

[…I’ll send the gift to your house. Are you going back to Hakdo now?]

“Since when have you been so interested in my destination?”

[I received a report about what you did in Hakdo. I suggested you handle people, but I didn’t mean for you to handle them like that. No matter how it is in Hakdo, don’t cross the line.]

“…Mind your own business.”

[Ask Kim Hyerim to give you a ride.]

Alice hung up the phone unilaterally without answering and left the building.

Amidst the brilliant night view, countless pedestrians passed by Alice.

As Alice walked through the warm night air, she recalled her past birthday party.

Of course, she didn’t actually have a birthday party at the orphanage. The orphanage building burned down on that day.

However, she clearly remembered the day before, when she prepared for the party.

Holding Kim Maru’s hand, she passed through a narrow alley and went to a small corner store. There, she tasted junk food for the first time in her life.

Afterwards, she returned to the orphanage and fell asleep in the same bed with him, looking forward to tomorrow.

Alice traced back her past memories and stopped at a bus stop. Passersby glanced at Alice.

‘The memories are too clear.’

Lee Jaeyeon had mentioned her talent. That talent was a poison.

The clear memories of the past 10 years without Kim Maru were overwriting the old memories.

She wanted to cleanly forget the meaningless memories and cherish only the past memories, but that was impossible.

She was unfamiliar with a life without Kim Maru, but now she had become too familiar with a life without him.

‘Did he read the letter?’

She didn’t even expect a reply. After all, it was her choice to leave him. Even if he forgot her and lived on, it wouldn’t be his fault.

But she was afraid of being forgotten in his memories.

She clearly remembered him, but he was slowly forgetting her.

Alice looked at her phone again with a dark expression.

Then, she called someone. After a while, the other person answered the phone.

[…Alice?]

“Yuri, I’ll be returning soon.”

[You should be. There have been so many incidents while you were gone. I’m going to intervene now.]

“Call a meeting at the end of the semester. Let’s talk then.”

[Did you finish your business well?]

Alice closed her mouth at Eun Yuri’s words. Eun Yuri, guessing what Alice’s silence meant, changed the subject.

[I’ll tell the executives.]

“Thank you.”

[You can come slowly.]

After ending the call, Alice stared blankly at the bus approaching the stop and thought.

‘I left without eating.’

She wanted to eat steamed potatoes.