Chapter 44: After death at the mansion.

Parren was a person who had nothing to be ashamed of in her own life.

She had lived serving the Solenas family since she was barely old enough to understand the world.

She had awakened as a magician sooner than she had expected,

And as a result of the aftereffects, she was diagnosed with being infertile at a young age.

Originally, Parren was the eldest daughter, who was more than qualified to inherit a minor family of the collateral line,

But that unfortunate accident had taken away the position that would have been given to her.

Anyway, the most important thing in a family was the ability to create and perpetuate the lineage.

The position of the head of the family naturally went to her younger sister.

But that didn’t mean she resented her younger sister.

Parren, who had a good personality to begin with, was not the kind of person who would ruin her relationship with her sister because of such a thing, and she had maintained a very close relationship until now.

A relationship where they exchanged affectionate letters and gifts, and gave each other deep hugs when they met occasionally.

And now, Parren was also in a position that was not inferior to her younger sister.

The head maid. Moreover, it was a heavy position serving the Duke’s heir of the Solenas main family.

Parren’s education, manners, knowledge, and personality…

It was the glory she was able to obtain thanks to the fact that her other parts were highly evaluated more than her insignificant magical talents while working in the Duke’s family.

She became the Duchess’s companion, served her, took care of her miscellaneous tasks, gave advice, and sometimes became a teacher.

And as that Duchess inherited the position of the previous Duke, Parren also achieved a sudden rise in status.

The current Solenas Duchess was a cold and aloof person, but at the same time, she was a competent person with excellent political sense.

She was thorough in the principle that rewards should follow loyalty and punishments should follow betrayal,

So she never mistreated Parren, who had served her with utmost sincerity.

She became the manager in charge of the Duke’s mansion.

It was a position she took while staying in the Dukedom instead of the Duke, who had to stay in the capital.

Not only that, but she was still officially the Duchess’s head maid and secretary.

If you wanted to put in a request that would reach the Duke, at least around Solenas, it meant that Parren was holding all those channels.

Needless to say, it was impossible unless you were the most honest and trusted person.

If there was anything that such a good-natured Parren envied her sister,

It was the fact that she had children.

Something that Parren, who had never even married, could never have.

But the thing that Parren wanted more than anything else in this world.

She wanted a child so badly.

A family with a friendly atmosphere like the one she had grown up in.

She wanted to build a healthy and harmonious family like the one her sister had built.

That’s all she wanted.

If she could give up her insignificant magical talent for that, she would have willingly done so.

But every time she stroked her lower abdomen,

She could only remind herself that she wouldn’t be able to do that until the moment she died.

Instead, should she say, that’s why she thought of the owner’s daughter very specially.

Since the Duke’s first daughter, Thermis, was born,

Parren poured all of her maternal love, which had lost its way, into her.

The Solenas Duchess might have been a competent politician and leader, but that didn’t mean she was also like that as a parent. She couldn’t think like Parren, who thought that ‘children are just children’.

The children of the Duke’s family were more than that. They were beings with political purposes from the moment they were born.

Just like the Duke herself, the eldest daughter had to always be the best.

She had to be glorious, proud, and a flawless person without a single weakness no matter where she was placed in the imperial political world. That’s what it meant to be the heir of the Duke’s family.

So…

When it was revealed that Thermis was a ‘failure’, the Duke’s disappointment was so great.

A member of the Duke’s family who was not a magician.

In the Duke’s eyes, it was more worthless than the dust kicked on the street.

No, beyond that, she was a shameful being who brought shame to the family.

The positive and energetic appearance of Thermis gradually disappeared.

At some point, the smile had left her bright face forever, and only a turbid shadow was cast thickly on that hardened expression.

Parren had to watch Thermis, who was gradually becoming twisted while being ridiculed at times and despised at others, with pity. Still, maybe it was something that would have stopped around that point.

How good would it have been if it had just ended with Thermis becoming a somewhat depressed person.

And that hope was shattered when the second daughter, Yukomis, was revealed to be a genius who wouldn’t come again.

That overwhelming talent that seemed to selfishly take away everything that should have gone to her sister.

And what Yukomis took away from her sister was not only talent.

She also stole all the attention and love from the Duke.

Even the Duke’s weak and submissive husband…

Couldn’t express any particular opinions as he was pressed down by his wife’s overbearing attitude.

Indifference that was more painful than contempt.

Any achievement or any development was insignificant compared to what Yukomis achieved.

Thermis couldn’t beat her younger sister with anything.

She tried to escape anywhere to avoid her sister’s shadow.

Even though she finally became obsessed with martial arts like swordsmanship, unlike the eldest daughter of a great family,

Yukomis ridiculously easily beat her sister and shattered her last pride.

What would it feel like to have someone who took everything from you be better than you in every way? And what if that person was your sister?

Thermis finally closed her heart to Parren as well.

Despite her pleading and appealing so much, she couldn’t open Thermis’s heart again in the end.

‘She can just go to a child who is better than me, Charr.’

‘Lady. That’s not it.’

‘I don’t want to hear it.’

‘The little lady didn’t have any malice, she’s just pure and a little insensitive to other people’s feelings…’

‘Leave.’

‘Please listen to me…’

‘Leave.’

Parren, who had grown up in a harmonious family,

Didn’t know what to do to restore such a broken family relationship.

There was nothing she could do.

She was the one who wanted to give love instead of her parents,

But in the end, she couldn’t become Thermis’s parents…

And what Thermis wanted was only her parents’ recognition and attention.

When Thermis finally passed away from a fever,

Parren even had the sad thought that this might be a good thing for the eldest lady.

If life was only full of tragedy, maybe ending it quickly was a way.

But… that thing happened.

Something that couldn’t happen.

The girl, who had stopped breathing, had come back to life.

She said that she had amnesia as an aftereffect.

Originally, it would have been a terrible thing that anyone would have been heartbroken about.

But after removing the bad memories that had twisted her personality, her old appearance was left as it was in that place.

The same personality as her twelve-year-old self, who was just bright.

Love.

She was full of love.

Just like Parren wanted to give love instead to these two little sisters,

She wanted to convey love to everyone in the world.

She knew too well that giving love was as enjoyable as receiving it.

She was kind, generous, and full of ambition.

Anyone who met her couldn’t help but like her.

There was a comfortable and reliable atmosphere that transcended understanding and gains and losses in Thermis.

In a way, it was a fair thing.

Instead of giving the ability to become a leader to her sister,

She had brought the character to become a leader.

But even Thermis couldn’t escape the tragedy that had followed her entire life.

Even though it was a life she had gained by overcoming even death, it turned out that it was only a temporary stay.

The Great War was short but just as terrible.

It was as if she had compressed the tragedies that should have happened over decades into just three years.

At one time, she even thought it was a hopeless thing.

But Thermis won,

She won, won, and showed that she would win again.

Parren could see it.

That Yukomis had started to respect her sister at some point.

That the wound that seemed impossible to heal was starting to heal.

She was the person who instilled empathy into the heart of the little lady, who was full of alienation and contempt.

Thermis eliminated that wound that she couldn’t seal with her magic.

Parren couldn’t believe it until today.

To be able to do such things.

To have done all of that.

That all of these things had happened in just a few years.

And…

Just before all of these things were about to come to fruition,

She had decided to disappear alone from this world.

When you think about it, every moment she had stayed by her side was like a miracle.

It had given Parren, who couldn’t become a mother, a similar opportunity. It had returned emotions to a lonely genius who couldn’t understand others. She had even overcome death.

So Parren couldn’t believe that she had really died.

She had been with her for dozens of miracles, not just one or two.

No, her existence itself was a moving miracle.

Then who could guarantee that that miracle wouldn’t happen one more time?

If she could be resurrected once, what about twice?

She couldn’t shake off the feeling that she would appear from beyond the mansion’s entrance someday, cross the garden with a heavy tread…

And say to Parren, “I’m back. Charr.”

Because of that expectation, she found herself constantly looking out the window from her office.

And that seemed to become a reality for a moment.

She didn’t appear walking, but she appeared flying.

A girl who seemed to have appeared from beyond the illusion.

Saving her younger sister like she had in her lifetime,

Knowing things that only she knew in her lifetime…

Speaking, moving, and acting in the same way as she had in her lifetime.

But then… she would become an ordinary child who was foolish and rash in the very next moment.

She couldn’t figure it out at all.

It didn’t seem like it, and it seemed like it,

Signo, no, Signa, was an enigmatic girl.

She was so confused about how to treat her.

Time passed and finally today came.

The day the little lady returned from a long trip to the north.

Parren couldn’t figure out how to treat Signa even though she had been 고민하고 for that long time.

Maybe that was the same for Aisha, who was following behind her right now.

She had heard a strange request.

She had been told by Karat that they should make sure that Yukomis was asleep and then secretly come back to the detached palace together.

‘It seems like she decided to tell Parren-nim directly.’

It was an incomprehensible word.

In Parren’s eyes, the atmosphere had already been strange from the moment she had welcomed the three of them back.

The little lady, who seemed strangely bright-faced.

Yukomis was holding Signa’s hand preciously and tightly, unlike when she had left.

‘I’ll explain it tomorrow.’

Yukomis, who had taken a bath early and fallen asleep, slept soundly that day, whether by coincidence or not, without even having nightmares.

Parren had hardly ever seen her owner sleeping with a smile on her face.

“What’s wrong, Signa-nim… at this time?”

Aisha, who was heading to the detached palace with Parren, spoke a little anxiously.

“Well, I don’t know either.”

When she opened the door, it was the same bedroom in the detached palace as usual.

A blazing fireplace, clean bedding.

The magic lamps hanging right outside the window gave off a subtle light that was bright enough to read a book even at this late hour.

Signa, who was sitting in the middle of the room, seemed to have just finished taking a bath.

A light steam was rising from her hair and skin.

Another maid must have been attending to her.

Signa, who was sitting awkwardly on the bed, greeted the two of them.

“Ah. Come in.”

Only a single word was exchanged, but the composition was a little strange.

Signa was at most a boy, no, a girl, from a mere baron’s family.

Although she was from a collateral line, Parren was a member of the Solenas family and a confidant of the Duchess.

Signa, who was sitting on the bed, was not the kind of person who should be saying ‘come in’ so comfortably.

Aisha, who couldn’t have not known that, was a little restless,

But Parren smiled and greeted her without paying attention.

“Um, sorry for greeting you like this. I know it’s not polite, but…”

As expected, Signo herself seemed to know that very well.

“You’ll understand after I say this.”

“…Yes?”

“Before that… Parren. Do you remember me calling you Charr before?”

“Yes.”

It was a very suspicious conversation from the start.

Signa was even using honorifics strangely twisted.

It was a mistake that a smart person like her would not easily make.

“I certainly did.”

“Aren’t you curious how I knew that name?”

“I thought Yukomis-nim had told you.”

“She’s not the kind of person who would blabber such a thing as your childhood name to others.”

Signa smiled a little.

It was the same thought that Parren had.

“Even if she was in a semi-conscious state, it’s still hard to imagine such an appearance.”

“That’s true, but…”

Parren, who answered in a daze, noticed that she had heard more awkward words than when she had greeted Signa just now.

‘Did she just call the little lady ‘she’?’

“Um… This is the second time, but this is also not easy. I don’t know how to start.”

Signa, who used to accept  the two’s doubtful gazes with a bitter smile, stroked the back of her head.

“I’m… Well, there’s a reason why I’m only telling this to Parren and Aisha.”

“I don’t seem to be good at lying anyway, and I get mentally distracted because of my age… I think it would be good to reduce the things that can be misunderstood as much as possible.”

And she added a word anxiously.

“There are also people I have to hide this fact from for the time being… I definitely need the cooperation of the two of you here.”

For some reason, Signa seemed incredibly terrified at this point.

“For reference, only Karat knows about this here besides me.”

Parren had nothing to say because Signa kept circling only the outskirts of the main point.

“Haa… Maybe half, no, more than half of me was already thinking that.”

Signa took a deep breath.

“No, let’s get straight to the point. The two of you are right.”

And she said the words she had to say.

“I’m Thermis.”

“Yes?”

Parren’s mouth opened blankly.

“I’m Thermis Solenas.”

“I ended up in this form by chance, but I’m definitely Thermis.”

Aisha dropped the lamp she was holding.

“I’m sorry for not telling you the truth. I missed a lot of opportunities to tell you. It ended up like this.”

“Just now, what did you say?”

“Charr.”

Signa put another name in her mouth again this time.

That tone was somehow very familiar to Parren.

“What you heard is correct.”

“…That can’t be.”

Parren denied Signa’s words in a trembling voice.

“If it’s a joke, it’s too much. No matter how much Signa-yang saved the lady, you shouldn’t say words like this so lightly…”

“Charr. I understand that I’ve seemed immature until now.”

It was true.

“But do I look like such a terrible child that I would joke about something like this?”

No, she didn’t.

“…Li, a lie.”

This time, Aisha, who was standing next to her, muttered lowly.

Signa gently met eyes with Aisha.

“Aisha. The first time I met you was in the library.”

A sound of Aisha taking a big breath came out.

“I remember you imposing sixty gold coins of fines and taking them away from you for thirty weeks?”

“Ah…”

“I remember hiring you as my exclusive maid after that?”

Aisha covered her mouth with both hands.

“Do you remember that on the first anniversary of us meeting, I bought you a hair accessory again with the sixty gold coins I had received? It was definitely a gold-rimmed flower decoration with eight leaves…”

“It can’t be. Really…”

“So you were bullied in the dormitory for wearing something too expensive for a low-ranking maid.”

Aisha shuddered all over and sat down there.

“I couldn’t not wear it because it was a gift from you, and if I wore it, I would be aware of my colleagues…”

“That’s right…”

“Then you confessed crying that you sold it at a low price and sent the money to your younger sister… Aina, right? I said it was okay, but you were so sorry…”

“That’s right! Yes, it was! All of that was true! I was so stupid back then that I couldn’t even get half the price when I resold it!”

“That’s right?”

“I, I didn’t know, and I didn’t know how rude it was, so I hugged you and cried in your arms, but you patted me on the back and said it was okay…”

Aisha started to cry sadly while covering her mouth.

“And… Because I recklessly interfered like that, Parren had to work hard for a long time to clean it up, right?”

This time, Signa made eye contact with Parren again.

Parren also didn’t know where to put her wildly shaking pupils.

“Th, that can’t be.”

Parren, however, still shook her head.

“This kind of thing. This kind of thing can’t happen.”

“Really?”

Signa gazed at Parren, who was denying it.

“Thermis-nim has passed away. I saw the body myself.”

That was right.

Parren even knew where her grave was.

Not only that, but she had directly watched the encoffining.

It was absolutely impossible for her to appear at this moment and talk to her.

“But it’s really strange, right?”

Then she said.

“But you want to believe me. Haven’t you been like that since the first time we met, Charr?”

It was perhaps a double meaning.

It was closer to a word begging for evidence than a word denying it.

A gaze that seemed to see through people’s minds.

Parren knew. There was only one person in this world who knew all of this, had those eyes, and exuded such a mysterious atmosphere.

But she needed that evidence.

As the miracle she had been waiting for for so long finally came before her eyes,

She became afraid that it might be a fleeting illusion she had felt.

Before she could reassure herself by trapping that miracle in a box called evidence and locking it up, Parren couldn’t be at ease at all.

“Evidence… That’s right.”

Signa made the saddest expression she had shown so far.

“I’m sorry about the letter.”

Parren’s last resistance collapsed at those words.

“You wrote words you shouldn’t have written.”

Her dirty letter, which was only filled with lies.

Her last words, which eventually became her will.

Its contents were only known to Yukomis, who had discovered it first, and Parren, who had received it from her.

“I definitely started like this. I’m really fed up with you guys…”

Before she could even finish speaking, Parren jumped towards the bed.

She had always had 여유 and dignity in her body.

She didn’t even remember when was the last time she had run so fast.

“Lady!!!”

Parren hugged Signa’s small body tightly.

“…Eut.”

“You’re really the lady!”

“Yes. It’s me.”

“Why did you only come back now!”

“I’m sorry.”

“Do you know how I felt, Lady?”

“I’m so glad you’re safe! I really, really wanted to see you again!”

A few drops of hot liquid fell on the top of Signa’s head.

“Do you know what questions I asked when the little lady came back to the mansion alone? Do you know how I felt? Do you know what the little lady’s face looked like when I asked where Thermis-nim had gone?”

Signa let her trembling body continue to hug her.

“This mansion has really become like the dead since the lady disappeared. Do you know how big that emptiness and emptiness was? Do you even know what it felt like for this mansion to lose its laughter?”

“…?”

“I was so worried while seeing the current lady that I thought it wasn’t you, and then I denied it again, if only you had just told me the truth when we first met, you’re too much! You were too much!”

“I’m sorry. Charr.”

“It’s that it’s the right thing, right? It’s the right thing and the feeling that there’s a little…”

“It’s that just saying so there…” ugh!”
“It’s okay for you just go see it what it feels like is there…”
“Is there for you to say something else there”
“Please, don’t! Wrong, it’s ugh!”

“I didn’t know things would turn out like this either.”

“Is it really you? Is it really you, Lady?”

“Yes. It’s definitely me.”

Parren caressed Signa’s face as if she wanted to make sure that Signa was really here.

“How… How could this kind of thing happen? Surely you said that you were now just a boy from a baron’s family…”

“I’ll explain it slowly.”

“Ah, anything is fine. Anything you did is fine. If it’s the lady, if it’s just right that the lady came back… Lady. My beloved lady. Don’t ever do that again. Please promise me that you will never die without permission again!”

“Please tell me that you’ll be by my side! Please tell me that everything will be okay!”

“I promise.”

“Thank you, lady…”

Signa continued to pat Parren, who was now much bigger than herself.

“It’s late to greet you, but… I’m back. Charr.”

And Aisha, who had come close before she knew it, also grasped Signa’s remaining hand.

Her two eyes were filled with tears.

“Lord, I…”

And in order to clearly feel the owner’s warmth, she brought her hand that was holding it to her cheek.

“I thought I knew you, but… I didn’t…”

It was a vague word.

She wanted to convey something, but she didn’t seem to know how to take it out.

There were so many things she was curious about, and there were so many things she didn’t understand.

“Nice to meet you again, Aisha.”

However, when she saw her only owner, who was smiling awkwardly in Parren’s arms,

Aisha didn’t have any thoughts.

What she had hidden and what she had been deceived were no longer important.

If she could just serve this person again.

If this person was safe, if you want all those things to come again here.

Nothing else in this world was important.

Only that was important.