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Chapter 44: Hearing Something

If we meet, I have to catch her, not talk.

She’ll die if someone else catches her.

[Successfully escaped after killing nearly 100 people at the training academy…]

The image of the indistinguishable lumps of flesh and the pool of blood at the scene flashed through my mind.

‘Every meal… was the bodies of students who lost in matches, or the villains you caught.They’d chop them up and throw them to us. It’s not tasty. Really. Blood dripping everywhere, often with shrapnel embedded in their flesh.’

Nausea welled up, and I changed the channel.

[Last month, Yoo Ha-rin, who caused the massacre, is suspected of attacking the research facility while wearing a rabbit mask and resuming her activities…]

The image of the burning research facility appeared on the screen, along with the reporter’s words.

Around the seemingly bombed-out facility, researchers lay dead in bloodstained white coats.

‘But you didn’t come. Not when I had dozens of my limbs cut off by those, not when my eyes were gouged out and exploded, not when my head was caved in by hammers, not when I was burned, electrocuted, or even when they pulled out my teeth one by one and poked my exposed heart with needles.’

My childhood friend’s casual words echoed in my mind, making me dizzy.

I wanted to believe it was a lie, but the marks on her body told the truth.

The screen changed, showing Ha-rin on CCTV.

Wearing that familiar rabbit mask and carrying a shotgun.

What would I have said if someone had told me, back in the village, that I would become a hero of the city, and Ha-rin would become a villain, burning the city and massacring people?

Would I have told them to stop joking?

Or would I have said that I wanted to go to the city, even if it meant that?

I shouldn’t have left her alone.

Looking back, she relied on me so much.

And I relied on her in that village.

We were indispensable to each other.

But after coming to this city, everyone was nice to me, praised me, and saved me from trouble. The constant praise made me forget about Ha-rin.

I remembered her as a part of the village landscape, not as a person.

Her worn-out clothes, her greasy, unwashed hair and face, the reunion that didn’t reek but didn’t smell pleasant either, it was quite a shock to me, already accustomed to city life.

Even though I knew there was no way for her to take care of herself or stay clean in that place.

But back then, I probably wanted to deny that I came from that village.

It was a place filled with horrible events, unpleasant things, and disagreeable people.

Especially after my parents died.

At least, the city didn’t seem like that kind of place.

People lived according to the law, in a society where breaking the law was unthinkable.

Or so it seemed.

All the dirty and filthy things were hidden underground, out of sight.


‘Seo-jun, are you satisfied with this?’

“I’m not satisfied.”

‘Do you think everything will be solved if you just deal with the immediate problem?’

“Nothing was solved.”

The expression she made six months ago, during our argument, tears streaming down her face, the same expression she made before she did those things at school. Acting as if she hadn’t cried at all, her hands trembling, her legs shaking, treating me like I wasn’t even human.

‘It’s true that things get solved if they’re not in front of you. At least for the six months you weren’t in front of me, you didn’t think about me at all.’

“I didn’t. I’m sorry.”

‘I had a hard time while you were gone. You just left without a word, and now you come back without a word and just mess things up. I told you back then. I’m nothing without you. No matter what kind of person you become.’

What did I say when she told me that?

I couldn’t answer back then either.

What could I possibly say to her now, even if we met again?

‘You told me not to come anymore, that I’m annoying, that I say useless things, that I only say depressing and unpleasant things. You said that now that I have an ability, I’m trying to leech off you. You told me never to come again, that you’d come to me instead, that I shouldn’t come here.’

“I’m sorry. Truly. I know you probably can’t hear me, or even accept this, but… I can’t even make excuses. I used to think I could, but no matter how much I hear about it, I can’t understand how much you suffered.”

Ha-rin put her hands behind her back, puffed out her chest slightly, and smiled that smile I found creepy back then, just like when we first met.

But all I could see was a blur, only her laughter echoing.

Now that I think about it, she was probably making that smile to hide her true feelings.


“But you could have told me.You said you would help me with anything, so did you really have to kill them all?
They weren’t the researchers in the lab, or the people guarding the facility like So-hyun “noona.”(TL Note: older sister) There was no reason to kill them all.”

All joy had been drained from my life.

Meeting the friends I made here wasn’t fun, and eating delicious food didn’t make me feel better.

Whenever I thought about what Ha-rin was doing while I was here…

Those thoughts led to what she did after coming to this school.

[Not long after Yanbian, Changchun, Hamhung, and Uiju were reclaimed from the puppet remnants, the military governor in charge of the region was assassinated by terrorists…]

The news ended, and some strange story started playing.

[Large-scale rebellions led by terrorists and anti-social groups are breaking out across the country, while in the Beijing Special Administrative Region…]

I wasn’t interested, so I turned off the TV and rubbed my face.

If only she had told me before it came to this…

“……Oh.”

What was I even saying? I was the one who shut her out, refused to listen to her, and chased her away.

I wouldn’t want to talk to me again either.

She said she would see me again, that she came to see me.

I should have at least visited the village sooner.

I didn’t want to hear anything.

Everything felt fake.

Ha-rin’s voice, the news that was still playing even though I turned off the TV, the doorbell ringing incessantly, filling the house. Everything.

I really hated listening to anything.


I loved listening to things.

Music, stories, birds chirping, animal sounds, even meaningless noises. Everything.

The sensations stirred something deep inside me, reviving my dulled senses.

In that sense, hallucinations were the worst.

They just stared at me, unable to speak, and I couldn’t actually hear anything.

Sometimes, I could hear something.

Just faint whispers I couldn’t understand.

Thinking about this only made me depressed, so I should think of something pleasant.

Anyway, the new hideout wasn’t as good as the last one, but it was livable.

A TV, decent speakers, guns and unknown weapons on every wall, a refrigerator full of drinks. A comfortable enough life.

I didn’t know where he got them, but he had piled up a lot of drugs, much better than what I used before. So, I no longer had faceless people staring at me.

Life was quite leisurely.

Sometimes I visited the research facility, killed ability users on the street, bombed the administrative center, burned down Seo-jun’s hated hometown…

But living so comfortably made me feel like I needed to do something.

This wasn’t why I left.

I left so that I wouldn’t be forgotten, at least by one person, even in death.

That was why I left the village, the research facility, and the school.

“So, Lee So-hyun is here.”

“If a student in an A-rank uniform visits a patient once a week, it has to be here.”

“Even if she’s not, I’ll find her. Thank you, mister.”

“You can drop the mister.”

“I told you, I can’t be a replacement.”

“When are you leaving? I’ll send a few of my men with you.”

“I don’t need them.”

I got up without finishing my tea.

It tasted bitter, probably because I hadn’t had it in so long.

I took Si-hyun “unni”’s gun from my room.

I learned something new after coming here. That student who visits the hospital was the one who nearly shredded Si-hyun “unni.”

I didn’t need weapons.

They were just cumbersome.

I couldn’t fight like others, even with a good sword.

A spear felt like a sharp stick in my hand.

And a gun, well, thankfully it’s a shotgun. All I have to do is point it at someone and pull the trigger.

The reason I carried it was simple.

Si-hyun “unni” would have done the same.

I wasn’t commemorating and remembering the dead like others did at funerals, letting them die and fade away. This was my way.

And I hoped someone would remember me like this someday.

No need for memorials.

Just spitting on their grave would be enough.

And ultimately, I came out to see her.

Whether it was because of the sister you loved so much, or to finish what I started, I needed to see you again.

If possible, I wanted to hold hands with you at school, walk the streets, attend classes, graduate together, live in the same house, and someday, someday have a happy family…

But after turning all those precious sons and daughters into chunks of meat, I couldn’t imagine a happy future.

If you do wrong, you have to be punished.

Me, the people who opened me up, studied me, and dissected me, and the people who protected them.

Even if we meet, all I could do was exchange a few words and run away.

Run away for a while, and then say goodbye to the world.

If I felt like it.


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