Chapter 45: Shadows of Divinity

In this strange place, strange beings come—those called gods.

It was a god who revived me and sent me to Aileen’s side.

Gods are capricious. They granted my wish to see Aileen again in such a twisted way.

“Hey, you there,” a large, talking bird called, avoiding Aileen’s notice.

Aileen called it Thunderbird.

“Yes, you. New employee! Care to chat?” it said.

“Fine,” I replied.

Thunderbird, wary of Aileen’s gaze, led me to a secluded corner outside the café.

What could it want to discuss privately?

“How’s it feel to live as a demi-god? Born a god, I can’t imagine being half-mortal, half-divine,” it said.

“Neither good nor bad,” I answered.

“Interesting! Just like your state!” it laughed.

Was it mocking me?

Aileen asked me to treat all guests respectfully, so I held my tongue.

“But here’s the thing—you’re in a peculiar situation,” Thunderbird continued, poking my chest with its wing. “There’s a black dot in your soul’s core. Not a good sign.”

“What does that mean?”

“If it grows, you’ll become an evil god.”

I frowned. Evil gods—malevolent deities—had come up in Aileen’s talks with guests and in stories about the entity that wore our mother’s face to harm us.

“Are you saying I’m evil?”

“Good and evil vary by dimension; they’re not fixed. Focus on what makes an evil god.”

“…”

“My take? You weren’t crafted as a god but became one from a human. What’s the key difference between gods and mortals?”

“Omnipotence? Immortality? There’s plenty.”

“The biggest is the human heart. Gods lack it—what you call their ‘caprice.’”

I flinched. Had it read my mind?

“Mortals see gods as whimsical, but it’s not caprice—it’s natural. Mortal minds misjudge gods, causing errors.”

“Why tell me this?”

“You’re fused with a divine artifact—Catsy’s creation. Your wish, your longing, binds it to your soul.”

Thunderbird pointed at the large, dozing bird in the café.

“That holy bird is like you. Its desire to meet Kongyun crafted its form, holding its soul. Its longing became the mold, slightly different from you.”

I listened silently.

“Your wish perfects you as a god. It’s your ‘reason for being.’”

“…”

“Too complex? Your wish keeps you here, to fulfill it. Gods exist to protect their dimensions.”

“Get to the point.”

“If your wish fades, you can’t be a true god. That black dot—your human heart—can corrupt it, making you an evil god.”

“So, a stronger human heart turns me evil?”

“If your heart strays from your wish, the dot grows. It’s inevitable, as you were human. But if it warps your purpose, that’s the issue. Understand?”

I brushed its wing aside, touching my chest.

Was something wrong with me?

“So, what’s your wish? Omnipotence? Immortality? I hope it’s that simple!”

“My wish…” I murmured.

“Be careful. I don’t want you harming Kongyun. I love this little dimension and her silver vine tea! So…”

A crushing aura overwhelmed me—a vast, untouchable presence, beyond my power.

This wasn’t just a talking bird. It was a god—transcendent, unreachable.

“Don’t become an evil god. I’ll watch you. I won’t let you ruin what I cherish.”

The pressure vanished, and it was just a talking bird again.

“I’d never hurt my sister,” I said.

Thunderbird tilted its head, flapping. “Why call Kongyun your sister? You’re from different dimensions. I see no karmic link between you, even splitting time to dust!”

“It’s… my wish to see my sister again. That’s why I’m here.”

Saying it felt wrong, like a faulty sentence.

Something was broken in my mind. What was it?

“We’ll talk again soon,” Thunderbird said.

“Poison? It’s dangerous. Remove it. If you can’t, I will…!”

“It’s safe,” she snapped. “You overprotect me sometimes. I’m an adult who can assess situations.”

Eliminate anything that endangers her.

“I’m not the sibling in your head. Your actions exhaust me.”

Crack. Something snapped in my mind.

My vision split, showing two women glaring at me—one with silver hair and golden eyes, my sister; the other with black hair and dark eyes, another sister.

A wave of unease flooded me, my mind blanking briefly.

My heart pounded, a strange sensation jolting me awake, like being caught in a misdeed.

I just wanted to keep you safe. What’s wrong with that?

Both sisters spoke in unison:

“The snake can ward off evil gods, like you. If trouble arises, I’ll return it. Don’t worry.”

I wanted to protect you from danger. That’s all.

Who doesn’t want to protect what’s dear? That’s it.

Or is it?

“I want to see my sister Aileen again before I die,” I’d told Catsy.

“Which sister do you mean?” she’d asked.

Why had I hesitated? Both were Aileen, weren’t they?

I knew the mansion’s happy days were a dream, all false.

But this woman held part of my sister. Despite her different name, she showed me the dream I longed for.

She knew memories only Aileen could. Deep down, I wanted freedom from Aileen’s shadow, and this woman broke those chains, granting liberation.

I want to protect, help, and be with her.

A voice within asked, Because she’s your sister?

Yes, because she was my sister, even briefly.

Is that really why?

If not my sister, what was she?

You know she’s not. You just don’t want to admit it.

Thunderbird’s words echoed:

“What’s your wish?”

To see Aileen again, to protect her.

But the more I thought of it, dread grew, as if darkness consumed me.

If she wasn’t Aileen, my wish was wrong.

If she wasn’t, I had no reason to stay. I couldn’t stay.

My purpose here would vanish.

She must be Aileen. Only that explains this need to protect, help, and stay.

It only made sense if she was my sister.

“Wishstone, I’m heading back.”

The split vision merged into one—my Aileen, yet different.

Her long silver hair was short, her golden eyes darkened. She was taller, her frame changed.

Still, you’re my Aileen, no matter how you look.

“Will you live in Aileen’s shadow forever?”

I’m sorry. I can’t escape that shadow yet.