Chapter 6: The Return of the GOAT

AC Inside, one of Korea’s leading online communities. And within it, the one and only, most chaotic gallery, ‘LoL Gallery’.

“Where is he? Not eating. It won’t be as tasty when it gets cold.”

“…….”

The steam rising from the bowl in front of me wavered. The warmth permeating my face was quite intense.
It was thanks to the porridge placed before me. A truly fresh bowl, practically just made.

Our dear sister had indeed bought porridge. She bought it, but…

“Why vegetable porridge of all things?”

Was she kidding me?
It was already upsetting enough to spend my money on porridge while ignoring other delicacies, but vegetable porridge?

Did our dear sister forget that the only porridge I eat is beef porridge? My taste is so refined that I don’t eat well unless there’s meat in it.
We’ve lived together for over a decade, and she still doesn’t know this?

“Why else? It’s easy to digest.”

“…….”

But our sister dismissed my complaint with a single sentence.
This cowardly daring to use logic against me!

“I especially asked them to make it bland for your stomach, so eat it well. Didn’t I do well? Hehe.”

“…Tch.”

My sister grinned. I couldn’t refute her. It was a perfect, airtight argument.
I don’t understand how someone so logical could
up the Korean language section of the CSAT.

“…….”

I scooped up a spoonful, blew on it, and brought it to my mouth.
The porridge was indeed bland, just as she said. I wasn’t sure if it was porridge or just scorched rice soaked in water.

Anyway, I could feel her thoughtful consideration for her older sister.
I wanted to be grateful, but seeing what she was doing in front of me made it impossible.

“Thanks for the food!”

The food my sister bought for herself.
The dizzying aroma filling my tiny studio apartment. The beautiful red hue that made my mouth water just by looking at it.
It was Malatang, which had replaced Gukbap as my all-time favorite food.

“This is crazy….”

I had been starving for quite some time. And my favorite food was flirting with me right in front of my nose.
So, me falling under its spell was as inevitable as fate.

Was this how a character felt when charmed by a Dark Mage in LoL? I finally understood why charm was the ultimate CC skill.

“Ahem!”

My hand unconsciously started creeping towards the Malatang.

If I just reached out a little further… couldn’t I just have one bite?

-Slap!

“Ouch!”

Unfortunately, that grand dream was thwarted. Our dear sister slapped my hand away.
Why so hard? She could’ve been gentler. Did she have a grudge against me or something?

“Tsk tsk. Unnie. You can’t eat this. Spicy food is poison for sick people. Bad! Go and quietly eat your porridge.”

“You crazy
….”

She was right, but it was annoying. And seeing her smug expression, I knew she did it on purpose.
Yes, my sister’s attitude was pure teabagging. A kind of bragging, like, ‘I’m going to eat Malatang, so you go eat your bland porridge.’

Experiencing this firsthand, it felt really
ing awful. I had another reason to snipe Leni.

“Mmm~ Delicious! This is why I can’t quit Malatang.”

My sister started provoking me openly. I don’t know who she takes after to be this much of a troll.
It’s not me, that’s for sure. No one is as kind as me.

“Sigh.”

My sister would never have given me any Malatang anyway.
And I didn’t think I could win a fight against her. My condition was completely
ed. So I gave up and was about to eat the bland porridge when she called me again.

“Oh right, Unnie.”

“What now?”

“I’m going to use your computer. I’ll eat while watching YouTube.”

“What? Can’t you just eat?”

“What are you talking about? You always eat while watching YouTube.”

This
, using logic again? I’ll let it slide this time since she’s right.

“And this place is so cramped, there’s nowhere else to eat.”

“…….”

“Don’t worry. I’m a clean eater. I’m confident I won’t spill a single drop of broth.”

“…….”

Thus began our strange dinner. A dinner where we both buried our faces in the monitor and smartphone.
It was a dinner together in the same space, but… it felt like we were both eating alone in a small restaurant.

But isn’t this how everyone is these days? I didn’t think it was particularly strange. And I considered myself close to my sister.

“Wow, Unnie, how much was this computer? It looks really expensive… Why did you buy something like this when you don’t even play games?”

“H, huh? It wasn’t much. I just added some sparkly options.”

“Hmm… Really?”

I made an excuse. I didn’t want to tell her the truth.
She would definitely complain if she heard the price. Saying things like, ‘With that money, you could have gone on a trip overseas,’ or ‘You could have bought luxury goods,’ and so on.
Until recently, I would have agreed, but not anymore. I wasn’t bothered since I started gaming. Really.

“Haa….”

I finished eating and cleaned up. As my stomach filled, I started to feel sleepy. It was the perfect time to sleep.

I covered myself with the blanket and lay down, intending to ask my sister to turn off the lights when she left. But something felt strange.

“Hey… what are you doing?”

“Huh?”

My sister suddenly started taking off her clothes. This is she now…

“Ah, I’m going to sleep here tonight. Is that okay?”

“Are you crazy? You can go to your dorm.”

“Unnie, are you seriously telling your sister to go out at this late hour? It’s so dangerous at night these days.”

What nonsense, when she bought Malatang just fine.

“Ha….”

“If you don’t want me to stay, give me cab fare. Otherwise, I can’t go.”

At her stubborn insistence, I unconsciously smacked my forehead. She had planned this from the beginning. I wondered why she suddenly visited when she usually doesn’t even contact me.

“It’s cramped as hell, why do you want to sleep here….”

In the end, we lay side by side in the cramped room, on the equally cramped bed.

“Why? It’s nice.”

“Sigh. I give up.”

I turned towards the wall.
I was mentally exhausted from constantly being pushed around by my sister. I needed to fall asleep quickly.

“Unnie.”

“…….”

“Unnie.”

“Ugh, what now.”

But it seemed our dear sister didn’t want me to sleep easily.

“I’m suddenly curious, but Unnie, aren’t you going to get a boyfriend?”

“What?”

“Aren’t you going back to school? How long are you going to keep this up? Mom keeps nagging me to drag you back.”

“Ahem.”

Honestly, I was starting to feel guilty.
Taking a leave of absence was one thing, but Mom was paying the rent for this studio apartment.
But I still had no desire to return to school. I wanted to enjoy my life a little longer.

So, little sister, would you mind holding on a little longer?

“Well, anyway, that’s that. So, you’re not going to get a boyfriend?”

“I don’t know.”

“Such a waste. You look fine, and you have this!”

“Y, you crazy
!”

My sister suddenly started groping me. I won’t say where she touched since it’s too embarrassing to say out loud.

“If you’re not going to use these, why don’t you just give them to me?”

It’s not like I wanted these. What am I supposed to do when I wake up one day and they’re suddenly there?

“What about you? You haven’t had a boyfriend either.”

“Hey, I don’t have one, it’s not that I can’t have one like you.”

“Whatever….”

“It’s true. There are tons of guys at my school who like me. And…”

My sister’s chatter was endless. It was as if the resentment of a ghost who died unable to speak had possessed her. Because of that, I ended up falling asleep a bit late.

“Ugh~~”

I woke up after a long sleep. My annoying sister had long gone. My body had fully recovered. Everything was in harmony, my condition was perfect.
Naturally, I couldn’t miss an opportunity like this.

“Let’s go!”

I immediately sat down, turned on the computer, and launched LoL. With the firm resolution to reach Iron I today!

=Victory!

=Defeat!

=Victory!

=Defeat!

=Victory!

=Victory!

=Victory!

“Wow… That was
ing tough.”

[Promotion successful. Current tier: Iron I 37p]

And I finally achieved my dream. If it weren’t for the final winning streak, it might have taken much longer.

It was already dark outside. I completely lost track of time. I now somewhat understood why people get addicted to games.

Click!

I immediately took a picture of the results screen. I had to do what I had to do. I went straight to LoL Gallery.

Before posting, I took some time to browse. It had been a while since I logged in. I didn’t know how long it had been since I was this inactive.

“Hehehe….”

Reading through the popular posts, I couldn’t help but grin. Most of them were about finding the missing me.
Some said I died, some said I cleaned up my act, some said I quit after being caught by someone I knew.

Countless speculations were swirling among users. Everyone really likes me too much.

I couldn’t hold back any longer. So I immediately wrote a post.

[This Body Descends.mp3] (Views 3942)
=Author: GOAtSolNoon

(Picture of the game results screen showing promotion to Iron I)

lol Leni, get ready~

Upvote: 377 DownVote: 101

• Wow, you’re finally here!!

• You have arrived.. GOAT

• Crazy
  , he played over 100 games and actually did it
  ㄴ lol His skill is legendary
  ㄴ Why is he climbing in Iron though?

• Leni extermination, let’s go~
  ㄴ Real talk, the Leni locusts’ downvote bombing is intense

• Wow, I’ve never seen over 300 upvotes
  ㄴ He obviously used a bot;
  ㄴ Nope. I clicked 250 times myself~ Are you a Leni locust?
  ㄴ Yes, it’s a bot lol
  ㄴ Triggered?

I only wrote a simple post announcing I was alive, but after that, posts started pouring in one after another. So many that the site itself lagged.

[I think I like SolNoon] (Views 597)
=Author: (129.911)

I didn’t know before, but now I realize.

Every time I saw him, my hands and feet trembled

I used to ask the store owner to remove SolNoon drinks whenever I placed orders for the convenience store, and I’d hide them so they wouldn’t be seen

Now I display them at the very front with reverence. In a place where they’re always within my sight

And every time I see it, my heart races, and I feel like I’m going crazy

Take responsibility, SolNoon

Oh SolNoon

Oh me

Upvote: 45 DownVote: 39

• Excuse me, but are you a real
  ing crazy person?

•  disgusting lollollol

ㄴ Upvoted because it was too good to not share

• Is this for real?
  ㄴ (Author) I’m being completely serious

• I agree Downvoted generously

[Since it’s almost summer] (Views 1074)

(Picture of colorful clothes)

Everyone’s getting their personal color diagnosed with summer approaching

So I went to get mine diagnosed today

But the owner told me

What suits me

Isn’t Spring Warm Light

Nor Summer Cool Light

But SolNoon Green Light…Squeal

Upvote: 156 DownVote: 58

• lollollollollollollollollol

• Upvote.. Upvote please

• The cringe is insane
  ㄴ Real talk, I want to smash their head in

• Honestly,
  ing funny, right?
  ㄴ Real talk lol
  ㄴ legendary lol

• What’s the source of this
  ing template?
  ㄴ Why? So you can kill the creator?
  ㄴ Why kill them? I’m going to use it lol

• Nice post. I’m taking it .

“Pffft… Ah, this is hilarious.”

Laughter burst out of me after seeing the various cringy posts. They really can’t live without me.

Just you wait, everyone. I’ll succeed in sniping and come back with even funnier posts.

With renewed determination, I mingled with everyone, writing countless pointless posts until Leni started her broadcast.