Chapter 64 : Wedding Preparation

To understand Agathe’s past, I needed some help.

First, Enhen.

The Queen of Nightmares, she could read minds. Asking Enhen was a difficult favor, but fortunately, she was also curious about her sister’s past.

Ideally, Agathe would tell me herself…

Usually, Agathe insists on complete transparency with her husband, readily confessing even embarrassing things, yet when it came to her past, she remained tight-lipped.

Which only made me more curious.

What had Agathe experienced that made her so reluctant to speak of it?
“Brother. Even I can’t see deep into her memories without Agathe’s permission. You know that, right?”

Enhen looked at me, her eyes a little tired.

“I know. I wouldn’t pry into Agathe’s mind without her consent. That would be rude.”

So, I needed Agathe’s permission.
Her explicit consent to have her memories read.

One could argue it was no different from hearing it from her directly, but this way, Agathe wouldn’t have to relive those painful memories.

Also… considering Agathe’s current disposition, getting her permission would be relatively easy.

Because it was passive, not active. It felt strange saying this, but Agathe tended to avoid confronting her past. This tendency would work in my favor in getting her to agree to the memory reading.

“And… you’re getting married.”

“…Sorry.”

“No. There’s no need for you to apologize, brother. Just make my sister happy. And be happy… yourself.”

As if having already poured out her heart, a bittersweet smile touched Enhen’s lips.

I planned to hold the wedding in our hometown.

The war was hastily concluded, thanks in large part to Enhen.

Explaining it all would take days, but it wasn’t that important to me.
Everything was for Agathe, after all.

I wanted to have the wedding before Agathe’s belly grew too large. She would look beautiful in a veil.

I would tell her how much she had endured, that she could finally rest by my side, and confess my eternal love.
I wanted to see Agathe’s face, blushing with embarrassment yet beaming with happiness, as she heard my confession.

There were so many things I wanted to do.

I hadn’t been able to spend much time with her because I was so busy.
I wanted to go to the beach and see Agathe in a swimsuit. I wanted to walk with her through our hometown, reminiscing about old memories.

And instead of living in this apartment, I wanted to build a mansion somewhere and start a family properly.
A story for when we truly become a family.

How many children should we have?
I wanted to discuss such things with her.

“…Why, why are you looking at me like that, Caspar? What, what should I do?”

Agathe clutched my hand tightly, her eyes pleading, as if begging me not to leave her.
Her voice was laced with anxiety.

“It’s nothing, Agathe. I was just wondering if you could tell me about your past.”

“Oh? Yes! O-Of course. I can tell you. When? Before I met you? Or… when we met? It’s a little embarrassing, hehe. But I’ll tell you. Because it’s you.”

Agathe’s beaming smile as she clung to me was beautiful, yet there was an unsettling fragility to it.
Unlike her confident past self, she now depended solely on me.

Disliking this change, I deliberately spoke coldly, trying to draw out her true feelings.

“Not then. After I died.”

Her smile faltered.

Agathe hesitated for a moment, then asked in a trembling voice,

“Wh-Why…why that?”

“I’m curious. I want to know what you went through to become like this. And if possible, I want to help, to fix whatever I can. I can’t leave you like this any longer.”

Leaving Agathe in this broken state felt like a sin.
Healing her mind was my duty.

My duty as her husband.

Agathe’s reaction…was within my expectations, but all the more shocking because of it.

“Is it, is it because I’m being presumptuous? I-I’m sorry. I’ll be good. Master. I’ll, I’ll do whatever you want from now on. See? I’m speaking informally. I’m pretending to be normal. Please, please let’s stop this, Caspar.”

Trembling, Agathe pleaded with me.
To stop this and go back to how we were just now.

To maintain our relationship, happy yet somehow flawed.

I didn’t hide my intentions.
If I tried to surprise her with a marriage proposal, Agathe would undoubtedly be overwhelmed.

“Agathe. I want to understand you better before we get married. Maybe it’ll bring us closer. Your current state isn’t normal. You know that too, Agathe. Enhen will help. Just for a little while, you just need to let her help. You don’t even have to recall and speak about it yourself.”

Agathe’s face crumpled as if she were about to cry, and she fell to her knees.
In a choked, almost unintelligible voice, she begged,

“No! I’m fine like this. It’s, it’s okay if you don’t marry me. Just, just let me stay by your side.”

“…That’s no different from a pet.”

“It’s okay if I’m a pet. You can still love me, can’t you? You’re kind, Caspar. So… just pet me and hold me sometimes. That’ll make me happy.”

Tears streamed down Agathe’s beautiful blue eyes.
Unable to bring herself to hold my hand, she clutched my sleeve, pleading.
Even a s*ave wouldn’t treat their master with such utter devotion.

Tears flowed, tracing paths down her beautiful face.

“I don’t want… I don’t want to be alone anymore. The world without you… was too cold. It was so hard. So it’s okay like this. We were happy, weren’t we? You… you used my body well. The body I worked so hard to create. It’s good, isn’t it? If we stay like this… you can have me, the me you used to love so much, as much as you want.”

The atmosphere shifted.
Physically.

Agathe was losing control.
Her chillingly cold and dark soul began to seep into reality.

Like Enhen, it was the soul of an Archdemon.

Having faced Archdemons alone many times without Agathe, I knew.
If she continued like this, a rampaging Agathe would paint the world in her own colors.

“…”

“I’m afraid you’ll hate me. That’s why I don’t want to talk about it. Please understand. It’s a woman’s heart. I wish you’d understand. Sniffle. I’m not hiding anything. I… I just don’t want you to see my ugly side, Caspar.”

My fingertips tingled.
A frigid chill, the kind found in permafrost, swept through the house.

Agathe continued to weep.

The tears froze as they fell.
The shards of frozen tears that shattered on the ground were sharp, like tiny needles.
As if wanting to pour out all the sorrow and despair within her, the tears flowed endlessly.

Since when?

Since when had Agathe been in this state?

Her tears became needles, piercing herself.
Though Agathe no longer needed a physical body, now that it was bleeding, vivid crimson stained the frozen tears as they flowed.

Agathe seemed oblivious to the changes in her body.
If she’d realized, she would have been prostrate, apologizing profusely for daring to hurt her husband.
So, she definitely didn’t know.

She just mumbled incomprehensible words, endlessly apologizing and screaming.
Lost in her own world, Agathe was oblivious to everything else.

In this world of darkness and ice, what was she looking at? What was she thinking?

I wouldn’t know unless I heard it from her directly.

And that’s why I was here.
To understand what Agathe had seen and what she had thought.

I stepped forward and embraced her tightly.
The cold air made me shiver, and shards of frozen tears pierced my skin, but I didn’t care.

“I don’t hate you, Agathe. I’ll never hate you.”

“Sniffle. Sob… Sorry. I’m sorry, Caspar. Because of me, because of my mistakes. After you died… I, I should’ve done better. But… I was so foolish…”

Agathe managed to lift her hand to my shoulder, sobbing.
Tears, seemingly from nowhere, were slowly eroding my body.

It felt like magic, and my body was starting to feel the strain, but it wasn’t fatal, so it was fine.
I was just worried that Agathe would feel guilty later.

“It’s okay. You did more than enough.”

I patted Agathe’s back, comforting her.

It was a miracle that she not only brought me back to life, but also reunited with Enhen.
Just enduring those horrific years was more than enough.

“It… It wasn’t me. I was just… lucky. If it weren’t for me… things would’ve been better. If it were you, not me, you would’ve done better.”

“We’ll never know. So… can you show me, Agathe? How you lived while I was gone. I want to know.”

Agathe trembled, her body wracked with anxiety.

“You… You might get tired of me. You might think I’m a burden.”

I chuckled at her words.
She was worried about such trivial things.

I didn’t tell her that she was already a burden, and that it was fine.
Instead, I gently stroked her hair.

“It’s okay. I’ll never get tired of you. I want to do this tomorrow, and the day after that, too. It feels so good to hold such an alluring woman like you in my arms.”

“…Mm. Too… much.”

Agathe’s face flushed crimson.
She seemed embarrassed.

After a moment of hesitation, she slowly nodded.

Small, but a definite affirmation.

“You can read my memories. Just… just for one day. I’ll let you see. B-But you can’t look when we’re… doing it, or anything strange. Okay?”

Ah.

How could I ever give up on her?

My beloved lover.