Chapter 7 Part 14: Fear Is Stronger Than Any Weapon

“Ah, Actor Lee Jihoon.

What brings you here?”

 

A bear-sized manager leaned against the front of the car with his arms crossed, blocking Jihoon.

 

“I have something I’d like to say to Hyung Yejun for a moment.”

 

“Ah… right now?”

 

“Is that not okay?”

 

Doyun answered with a troubled expression.

 

“Ah, well… it’s a bit difficult right now.”

 

“Why.”

 

“Hyung is still deeply immersed in his role.”

“…..”

 

Normally, Jihoon would have insisted on meeting him no matter what.

But having personally experienced Yejun’s immersive acting, Jihoon turned around without another word.

 

That makes sense.

If I was like that, how deeply immersed must Hyung have been?

 

Jihoon took a few steps away, then turned back again.

 

“Do you have another schedule after this?”

 

Doyun scratched his head and shook it.

 

“No.

We’re just planning to grab a drink at a nearby restaurant.”

“……Would it be okay if I joined you?”

 

“Have you finished filming, Actor Lee Jihoon?”

 

“I’m done for today too.”

 

“Ah… then I’ll ask Hyung first, and if it’s okay, I’ll send you the location through your manager.”

 

Jihoon looked quietly at the car Yejun was in before speaking.

 

“If Hyung gives his permission, I’d like to come.

If it’s okay after you ask him, send me the location.”

 

“Yes, understood.”

 

After Jihoon left, Doyun muttered while watching him go.

 

“They say he’s insanely rude, but he doesn’t seem like it.

Honestly, ninety-five percent of rumors in this industry are bullshit.”

 

After confirming the end of filming with Assistant Director Jang Young-ho, Doyun took Yejun to a nearby kimchi stew restaurant.

 

A little later, after receiving Doyun’s message, Jihoon’s manager parked the car in front of the restaurant and turned back to ask,

“Jihoon, you’re not going there to pick a fight, right?”

 

“It’s not like that, Hyung.”

 

“I’m worried, okay?

You really can’t fight.

There’ll be other customers here, and you know everything gets recorded on phones these days.

Absolutely no fighting, got it?”

 

“I said I got it.”

 

Still worried, the manager studied Jihoon’s face.

 

“You really didn’t get hit earlier, right?”

“…..”

 

He definitely felt like he’d been beaten badly and that it hurt like hell.

But thinking back while changing his underwear, there wasn’t a single place that actually hurt.

It was because Yejun, who had undergone intense action-school training, had controlled his strength perfectly.

 

“No, really.

I’m fine.

Nothing hurts.”

 

“Hoo… I’m still worried.

Nope, this won’t do.

I’m going in with you.

That new manager of his is huge.

If something happens, at least I should be there.”

 

“It’s fine, Hyung.”

 

“Ah, I won’t interfere.

I’ll sit separately and get acquainted with their manager.

If CEO Song finds out I let you meet Yejun alone, I’m fired on the spot.

Just get out of the car.”

 

In the end, Jihoon entered the kimchi stew restaurant with his manager.

As soon as the door opened, all eyes turned toward them.

 

Fortunately, it was a run-down place unlikely to attract young people, so only elderly patrons were inside.

They tilted their heads, staring at Jihoon’s face.

 

“Looks familiar.”

“Isn’t he a celebrity?

He’s really handsome.”

 

Normally, Jihoon would’ve smiled politely behind a mask,
but right now, every ounce of his focus was fixed on Yejun.

 

At the far corner, Yejun sat with his back against the wall, Doyun beside him.

Two empty soju bottles were already rolling around on the table.

 

Jihoon started toward Yejun, then stopped.

All the rudeness he’d shown Yejun until now suddenly came flooding back.

 

Lowering his head briefly, Jihoon walked forward again.

His manager, tense, stuck close behind him.

 

Noticing their approach, Doyun stood up quickly.

 

“You’re here.”

 

Jihoon’s manager smiled and extended his hand.

 

“You’re Yejun’s manager, right?

I’m Jihoon’s manager.

Please take good care of him from now on.”

 

“Oh my!

I should be the one saying that.

It’s my first time meeting a manager from Daehwa Entertainment.

It’s an honor.”

 

“Haha, honor, my foot.

Why don’t we let the two of them talk comfortably and move over there?

Ah, it’s on me.”

 

“Free food is always welcome!”

 

Watching the two managers move seats, Jihoon turned his gaze back to Yejun.

 

Yejun was looking at him with a slightly expressionless face.

It wasn’t the kind, gentle gaze Jihoon remembered from their trainee days.

 

If I were him, I wouldn’t treat me kindly either.

After everything I’ve done.

 

Jihoon looked at Yejun quietly, then bent at the waist.

 

“Hyung, I’m sorry for everything until now.”

“…..”

 

Yejun stared at him silently, eyes probing.

What is this kid plotting now?

 

Still bowing, Jihoon spoke in a rigid, attention stance.

 

“I’ll be honest.

I thought that since you’d been unknown for so long, you were inferior to me.

When someone I looked down on started getting attention, I got jealous.

And I think that jealousy came out in a twisted way.”

 

A flicker passed through Yejun’s eyes.

 

Is he serious?

 

Jihoon wasn’t known for having a good reputation.

Rumors said he frequented room salons and looked down on those around him.

Though, to be fair, he hadn’t crossed the absolute line—no scandals with women, no crimes.

 

Still, Yejun was human.

All of Jihoon’s past disrespectful behavior toward him surfaced unbidden.

It annoyed him.

At times, he’d even wanted to punch him.

 

“Why are you acting like this all of a sudden?”

“…..Hyung.”

 

Jihoon suddenly started crying.

Startled, Yejun jumped up, grabbed him, and made him sit down.

 

“Hey, what’s wrong with you?”

 

Jihoon couldn’t speak and cried for a long while.

Only after using up all the tissues Yejun handed him did he calm down, take a sip of water, and speak in a heavily subdued voice.

 

“Hyung, honestly… I know it too.

That people say I have a shitty attitude.”

 

Yeah.

At least he knows.

 

Still, it was strange.

When he’d first joined as a trainee, Jihoon had been polite and obedient.

When did he change like this?

 

Lowering his head, Jihoon continued.

 

“I was scared.”

“…..”

 

Of what?

 

Dabbing his eyes as tears welled up again, Jihoon said,

“I know my acting skills are lacking.

I know I got scolded every day by directors and staff.

That’s why I became like this.

I was afraid I’d be discarded if people thought I was weak.

I thought if I acted gentle, I’d get cursed at even more.”

 

So that’s what it was.

You timid bastard.

 

Jihoon kept his gaze lowered, as if he couldn’t bear to look at Yejun.

 

“After filming, when I got home, I’d remember the looks staff gave me that day.

I couldn’t sleep at all.

I’d caused so much trouble for everyone.

But I had to sleep to film the next day, so I relied on alcohol.

I drank too much, and there were days I showed up late.

That’s how my life started to unravel.”

 

Sniffling, Jihoon wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

 

“I didn’t want to look weak, so I acted like an asshole.

Then I couldn’t stand myself like that, so I drank.

Then I was late the next day.

I know it too—if I keep this up, I might be buried in this industry forever.

But strangely, my heart just got more and more twisted.

At some point, instead of feeling sorry toward the staff who resented me,
I just got angry… and drank.”

 

Honestly, Yejun couldn’t fully understand him.

They were different kinds of people.

 

But judging by his tone and expression,
this kid seems sincere.

 

Jihoon lifted his head to look at Yejun.

His eyes were swollen, red, and soaked with tears.

Then his eyes widened slightly.

 

“Hyung… your chin.”

 

Seeing Yejun’s red, swollen chin, Jihoon suddenly remembered delivering an uppercut to Zhang Wei’s jaw.

Eyes wide, he hurriedly asked,

“Hyung!

Did I really hit you?”

 

Yejun squinted one eye.

 

“Wasn’t that on purpose?”

 

Jihoon waved his hands frantically.

 

“Hyung!

I didn’t go that far.

Really!

I swear!

From the moment I opened the factory door until the director called cut, my memory just… cut out.

I’m serious!”

 

“I thought you did it on purpose.”

 

“That’s so unfair, Hyung.

I swear it wasn’t!”

 

Jihoon suddenly tried to drop to his knees.

Startled, Yejun grabbed him and made him sit back down, touching his own chin as he spoke.

 

“It’s fine.

When you’re acting, you don’t even realize it hurts.”

“….Hyung.”

 

“That kind of thing happens sometimes.

Don’t worry about it.”

 

Tears welled up in Jihoon’s eyes again.

 

I treated Hyung rudely the whole time because I was twisted inside.

And yet he got actually hit during filming and still finished the shoot without a word.

 

What if Yejun had called NG back then?

 

It was obvious.

People would’ve thought, That crazy bastard finally caused trouble.

Whether it was intentional or not, he would’ve been condemned as if it were.

That was his image.

 

This is all my doing.

 

There was nothing unfair about it.

Everything was his fault.

 

But he didn’t know how, or where, to start untangling this mess he’d made of his life.

 

Then he remembered the staff and director applauding his performance today.

 

All I have to do is act well.

Then I won’t need to act like an asshole out of fear of being looked down on.

I won’t need to belittle others out of insecurity.

 

He wasn’t stupid.

He already knew that simple answer.

But carrying it out was unbearably hard.

 

No matter how much he practiced, his acting didn’t improve.

The more he tried, the more that monster called acting tightened its grip around him.

 

Jihoon looked at Yejun, who was rubbing his chin.

 

Hyung is the answer.

 

How could he act like that?

Back when they took acting classes together, Yejun had been average at best.

How had he reached that level?

 

He had to learn from Yejun, no matter what.

That was the only answer to untangling his ruined life.

 

Having made up his mind, Jihoon grabbed his thighs with both hands and bowed deeply.

 

“Hyung, please help me.”

 

Yejun, who had been taking a sip of soju, paused.

 

“With what?”

 

“My acting.

No—my life.

Please change it for me, Hyung.”

“…..?”

 

“I know I have no shame.

If someone treated me the way I treated you, I’d want to trample them and spit on them.

That’s right, Hyung!

Since we’re already here, go ahead and do that!

Hit me, step on me, spit on me!

But please, help me!”

 

What the hell is this?

 

Yejun blinked, staring at Jihoon.

 

“What exactly do you want me to do?”

 

“Please become my acting teacher, Hyung!”

“…..”

 

An acting teacher?

What is this, all of a sudden?

 

Sure, he’d done a full rehearsal as Cha Seung-hyun during the initial clown rehearsal,
but why should he do that for this kid?

What about him was so lovable?

 

As Yejun stared blankly at Jihoon’s bowed head,
the kid suddenly grabbed his leg tightly.

 

“Hyung!

Please save me!”

“…..”

 

This bastard…
He might actually be serious.

 

Yejun looked at Jihoon quietly, then slowly spoke.

 

“Before becoming an actor, become a decent human being first.”

“……Pardon?”

 

“What I say.

What I tell you to do.

Can you do it exactly as I say?”

 

“O-of course, Hyung!”

 

Reading sincerity in Jihoon’s eyes, Yejun handed him a glass filled with soju and smiled faintly.

 

“Then I’ll watch you starting tomorrow.

If you truly become human, I’ll grant your request.”

 

Smiling playfully, Yejun nodded toward where the managers were sitting.

 

“But will your manager’s wallet survive?”

 

“Eh?”

 

“Doyun eats a lot.”

 

Jihoon’s eyes landed on Doyun setting down his fourth pot of kimchi stew,
and on his own manager staring at him in shock.

 

Without realizing it, Jihoon burst out laughing.

Yejun teased him.

 

“They say if you laugh after crying, a jungle grows on your butt and monkeys start playing.

You know that?”

 

“Haha!

Hahahaha!”

 

Laughing, huh?

 

Jihoon.

I’m not letting this slide easily.

 

They say you can’t fix a black-haired beast once it’s gone bad.

I’ll test you.

And test you again.

To see if you’re really worth fixing.

 

Your road ahead?

Pure suffering.

 

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