Chapter 8 : Abandon the darkness and turn to the light

Time slipped back to many years ago.
Jiang Yule suddenly recalled Su Yubai’s first New Year back with the Su family.

That year, at a family gathering, the adults wanted her to stand in the middle.
Alongside Su Yingying, Jiang Yule, and her older brother Chu Zirui.

She remembered Su Yubai refusing.

“Let’s go.”
After the group photo, Su Yingying pulled her along as the crowd dispersed.

They entered the conference center together, heading upstairs.
Su Yingying’s voice whispered mysteriously in her ear, “I think I saw Lin Siqiong.”

Su Yingying had spotted a familiar figure entering through the side door.

“It’s not surprising she’s here.”
The economics circle was small.
Running into each other was inevitable.

Jiang Yule’s heart stayed calm.
What surprised her was this: unlike before, when she could always spot Lin Siqiong instantly in any crowd, this time she hadn’t.

She had truly let go.

Jiang Yule parted ways with Su Yingying, entering through the back door.
She caught a fleeting glance of Su Yubai entering from the front.

Just for a moment, Jiang Yule averted her eyes, quickly grabbing her camera to take photos.

The attendees settled, and the presentation began.

The first speaker was the deputy editor of China Economics Journal.
The topic: “New Quality Productive Forces,” tied to current national policy.

A hot topic domestically.
It reminded Jiang Yule of a consensus in macroeconomics: “chasing trends.”
Following hot topics made it easier to publish in top-tier journals.

Chasing trends.

Her thoughts drifted to last year’s F University annual conference.
At a roundtable, Professor Su had said, “If everyone chases trends, how will Chinese economics advance? Most universities still use Western Economics textbooks. As Chinese scholars, don’t you feel any shame?”

Su Yubai always spoke boldly, her academic courage unmatched.
Her words lingered in Jiang Yule’s household chats for days—Jiang Huazhen praised her endlessly.

Jiang Yule angled her camera, snapping photos and capturing the presentation slides for the news draft.

“Current research is mostly theoretical, with few rigorous empirical studies.”

“I, on behalf of China Economics Journal, invite submissions. We’ve opened a fast-track review for ‘New Quality Productive Forces’ topics, cutting review time in half. We look forward to your contributions.”

The speaker openly encouraged chasing trends.

Jiang Yule’s gaze drifted to the left front of the room.
She could only see Su Yubai’s profile, her expression as cool as ever.
She watched the stage silently, showing no intent to object.

Fair enough.
China Economics Journal was a top domestic publication, and “New Quality Productive Forces” was a political priority.

Opposing trend-chasing wasn’t wrong in principle.
But in specific contexts, it could easily touch sensitive nerves.

Su Yubai was sharp.
She knew what to say and what to hold back.

The first talk was a warm-up.
The next began.

“Unfortunately, Professor Li Qingan couldn’t attend. His student, Associate Professor Lin Siqiong from C University’s Economics School, will present instead.”

Jiang Yule looked up, catching Lin Siqiong’s back as she took the stage.

She took a deep breath, raising her camera to shoot.
Then, a voice called, “Senior.”

She turned.
A junior colleague whispered, “Dean Su wants you.”

Jiang Yule startled.
“For real?”

The junior, sensing doubt, showed her phone.

It was Su Yubai’s message: [Please ask Jiang Yule to come to me.]

Su Yubai’s profile picture.
Her tone.

Jiang Yule glanced over.
Su Yubai’s eyes swept toward her from the front.

Clutching her camera and notebook, Jiang Yule crouched, navigating the left aisle to the front row, next to Su Yubai.

Lin Siqiong, on stage, watched.
Her face darkened, visibly tense.

Jiang Yule leaned down, whispering, “Dean Su, is there something you need?”

Su Yubai’s expression was neutral, her gaze flicking to the seat beside her.
“Sit and shoot.”

The big screen displayed the presentation.
The podium was left-leaning.
Su Yubai’s seat was indeed the best spot for photos.

Jiang Yule hesitated, then sat beside her under everyone’s eyes.
A faint oolong tea scent drifted to her nose.

She looked up.
Lin Siqiong’s gaze burned from the stage.

Jiang Yule focused on the slides.

“Didn’t you see my message?”
Su Yubai’s voice cut through suddenly.

Jiang Yule turned to her.
“Sorry, Dean Su, I didn’t check my phone.”

“No need to apologize.”

Jiang Yule felt sheepish.
“I’ll check my phone next time.”

Su Yubai glanced at her faintly, saying no more.

Jiang Yule remembered her task, lifting her camera.
Then Su Yubai spoke again, “It’s normal not to check your phone.”

So no need to apologize.
Jiang Yule’s heart stirred.
She nodded, “Okay.”

Su Yubai focused on the presentation, not looking at her.

Jiang Yule turned to her camera, snapping a few shots.
She found it amusing—this was her first time openly photographing Lin Siqiong.

In their three years as secret lovers, Lin Siqiong wouldn’t even let her take photos.

The stage’s gaze was too intense.
Jiang Yule looked up but avoided eye contact.

Lin Siqiong’s topic was “Driving High-Quality Economic Development with New Quality Productive Forces.”
An empirical study, right on trend.

Chasing trends, indeed.

Jiang Yule’s mind wandered.
Then the person beside her spoke.

“This paper’s explanatory and dependent variables are all from index systems. Despite seemingly thorough endogeneity analyses, I still question the model’s endogeneity issues.”

Su Yubai struck during the discussion.
All eyes turned to her.

Her question was sharp, touching on empirical rigor and standards.
A point you could overlook but, if pressed, was hard to defend.

This was Jiang Yule’s first time witnessing Su Yubai’s critique in action.
It hit her—this was Su Yubai’s domain.
No wonder Lin Siqiong feared her.

On stage, Lin Siqiong sweated, scrambling to explain her variable selection and data processing.

Su Yubai listened quietly, then handed the mic to a volunteer without follow-up questions—clearly unsatisfied but sparing her as the host.

Lin Siqiong gave a strained laugh, answering other experts’ questions.

In the next two talks, Su Yubai raised issues but didn’t press further.

Her questions alone gave the presenters plenty to wrestle with.

The morning session ended.
Guests headed to the partner hotel for lunch.

Jiang Yule followed the crowd out but saw Professor Qiao and seniors waiting at the door.

Qiao Anqing smiled.
“Yule, join us for lunch?”

Jiang Yule’s eyes curved.
“Thanks, Professor Qiao, but my friend’s volunteering. I’ll eat with her.”
The school had ordered boxed lunches for volunteers.

Her polite refusal was clear.
Qiao Anqing didn’t push.

Jiang Yule escorted Professor Qiao downstairs.
Unfamiliar voices drifted to her ears.

“This is a real academic conference.”
“Professor Su’s on point with her questions.”
“She’s amazing! And gorgeous. I’m half in love.”

Two young female professors were praising Su Yubai.

A cool, intellectual woman like Su Yubai was popular in queer circles.
But she was straight.

Years ago, when Su Yubai returned to China, Aunt Song tried matchmaking.
Su Yubai said she had a boyfriend.
No idea how that turned out.

Jiang Yule recalled a recent dinner where her advisor mentioned matchmaking for her.
Probably meant they’d broken up.

Beside her, Professor Qiao teased softly, “If we could poach Dean Su to Hong Kong University, your president would never let her go.”

Clearly, no one took last night’s events seriously, casually mentioning Su Yubai to Jiang Yule.

Jiang Yule kept a perfect smile.
“Dean Su’s only been at B University two years.”

After seeing Professor Qiao’s group off, Jiang Yule headed to the lounge.
At the stairwell, she ran into Su Yubai.

Jiang Yule braced herself.
“Good afternoon, Professor Su.”

Su Yubai nodded as usual, not saying a word.

Jiang Yule trailed three steps behind.

Did Su Yubai train in poise?
Her walk was so elegant.
In casual clothes, no less.
In a qipao…

Jiang Yule shook her head.
Professor Su wouldn’t wear a qipao.

Lost in thought, she didn’t notice Su Yubai stop.
She crashed into her with a “thud.”

Su Yubai felt the impact, turning instantly, raising her hand slightly.

“Sorry, sorry!”
Jiang Yule steadied herself, looking up to find Su Yubai staring at her.
Her heart tightened.

Su Yubai lowered her hand calmly, saying softly, “Jiang, watch where you’re going.”

Jiang Yule, recalling her earlier thoughts, blushed.
She explained, “Sorry, Professor Su, I was lost in thought.”

“Oh.”
Su Yubai’s voice was low.

Jiang Yule thought the conversation was over.
She looked up, expecting her to move on.
But Su Yubai spoke again.

“Thinking about Lin Siqiong?”

Her tone was slightly lower than usual.