Chapter 9: Pork Stir-Fry Goes Boom!

“Franz, the princess’s analytical skills and perspective on international relations at today’s monthly evaluation were truly nothing short of admirable.
Setting aside all personal feelings and bias, what is your opinion?”

“It was so remarkable, Your Majesty, that it’s hard to believe the princess is only five years old.”

In the cafeteria on the highest floor of the Old Castle, with a panoramic view of the Demon Kingdom’s capital, Lilith.
Inside the spacious cafeteria, only the Demon King and the Demon Kingdom’s chancellor, Franz, were having a quiet conversation.

“That aside… as the princess grows older…”

“Your Majesty…”

The Demon King trailed off.
With sad eyes, a complete contrast to his usual sharp impression, he stared only at his teacup.

“Haah… As Beelzebub grows, I see more of Pai, who has already departed for the Demon God’s embrace…”
(TL Note: Pai is the deceased Queen and Beelzebub’s mother.)

“…”

Franz could say nothing to the Demon King, who was gazing only at his teacup.
For he knew the Demon King’s grief must be as great as, no, even greater than his own, having also lost his only daughter.

“I know. It’s been five years, I should forget… but…”

A weak sound that should never be heard from the Demon King. Franz, the chancellor of the Demon Kingdom, placed his teacup back on the table and spoke to the Demon King with a sharp glint in his eyes.

“Your Majesty. The king who carries all the people of the Demon Kingdom on his back has no time or leeway to look back.
You must only look forward and advance silently. That is the weight you bear as the king who leads this Demon Kingdom.”

At Franz’s familiar nagging, the Demon King let out a small laugh and rose from his seat.

“Hah. Franz, your skill at wagging your tongue is as sharp as ever.
It feels like I’ve been beaten with words for the first time in a while. It stings.”

“I will take that as a compliment, Your Majesty.”

“Hoo… Yes. For the sake of the people of the Demon Kingdom on my back, I cannot afford to stumble by looking behind.
Thank you, Franz. Just now, you steadied my balance when I was about to take a dangerous fall while carrying all the people of the Demon Kingdom.”

“Think nothing of it… It was merely a senile old man correcting his young disciple who was about to stray.”

“Really… that mouth of yours…”

Thus, the Demon King and the chancellor left the cafeteria and walked down the hallway.

“By the way, Your Majesty. I heard that you and the princess skipped breakfast and lunch today…”

“Ah! It’s about time I get to work! Franz? I will be attending to my duties in the office.
I’m not particularly craving dinner today either. Tell the servants I will be skipping it.”

“…”

The Demon King spoke with suspicious speed and then hastily departed.

-Sizzzle!! Sizzzle!! Fwoosh!!-

In the frying pan, where a heart-pounding flame soared, the cottage was filled with the aroma of well-cooked pork fat and sweet soy sauce marinade.
I, the worst victim born of this goddamn f*cking world, was stir-frying Jeyuk, sweating bullets.
(TL Note: Jeyuk Bokkeum is stir-fried pork, usually spicy. The narrator calls it Jeyuk.)

“This is insane, insane!! The best Jeyuk ever!
Unfortunately, there was no chili powder, so I made a soy sauce version, but the smoky flavor is infused so perfectly! It’s insane!!”

Jeyuk stir-fried so well that if I were a woman, I’d be the number one bride candidate!
That’s right. Tonight’s dinner menu is Jeyuk, the soul food of the clumsy!

“Phew. The Jireum Tteok is for dessert and roughly prepared, so I’ll cook it after the meal…
The rice is also almost done steaming… All that’s left is for the Demon King and Beelzebub to arrive!”

-Vwoom.-

Just then! Did they hear my monologue? A purple portal opened in the cottage living room, and out popped Beelzebub, scurrying forward, followed by the Demon King, who walked out with his perpetually grim expression.

“Uncle Teo!! Hello!!”

Beelzebub greeted me, even though it had only been a few hours since we last met.

“Hmm, the aroma is pleasant. By the way,
I trust you have prepared the dessert I mentioned, caretaker.”

As expected… the Demon King checked on the status of the dessert as soon as he arrived.

“Do not worry about the dessert.
I have prepared one that will satisfy both Your Majesty and Beelzebub.”

“Good. I shall look forward to it, caretaker.”

“Daddy, Daddy! Sit down quick! I’m hungwy!”

Meanwhile, Beelzebub, looking very hungry, tugged at the Demon King’s sleeve, urging him on.
No wonder… her little belly, which usually popped out, seemed to have sunken in… You must have been very hungry, huh?

“Alright, alright. Let’s sit down quickly, Beelzebub. Caretaker? You may bring the food.”

Beelzebub cheered “Yay!!” in the Demon King’s arms.
As soon as I confirmed they were seated, I served a heaping portion of the freshly stir-fried, steaming hot Jeyuk and pot rice.
Wow… holy sh*t… the smell of the Jeyuk wafting up as I plate it… It’s driving me crazy. This is what food porn is, this is heaven!

“Today’s menu is ‘Stir-fried Pork, but without the chili powder’.”

“Ho, the name is quite peculiar.
It’s unique that a missing ingredient is in the name. It must be a variation of the dish called Jeyuk Bokkeum.”

The Demon King’s analytical power is quite something!
To see right through my thought that Jeyuk must absolutely be red! As expected of the Demon King!

“You can enjoy an even richer flavor if you eat it with the white rice next to it.”

Steam gently rose from the white rice.
Whether he was pleased with the savory scent of the rice, the corners of the Demon King’s mouth rose about four degrees! Yay!!

“Hap!…”

And Beelzebub, unable to resist the fraudulent scent of the Jeyuk, took a bite.

-Chew chew… Gulp!-

-Clang!-

Beelzebub, after taking a large bite of the Jeyuk, dropped her utensils and stared blankly, unable to compose herself.

“Beelzebub! What is it?
Caretaker! What on earth did you do to the food to make Beelzebub’s state…”

“C-Cough!! Y-Your Majesty… p-please… let go of my neck… kehek!!”

Just as I was enjoying a tour of Seoul from the Demon King’s right hand, which had become my personal cable car, a tearful cry came from the recovered Beelzebub!

“Waaah… Daddy… I’ve nevew eaten food like this befowe…
W-What is this, Uncle Teo?? I-I’ve nevew eaten anything this delicious!!!
Daddy!! This! Eat this!! If you don’t eat it, I’m gonna eat it all!!”

“…”

“…C-Cough… Y-Your Majesty… my… neck…”

The Demon King was stunned by Beelzebub, who was raising her voice in praise of the Jeyuk.

-Clatter!-

“Hap! Hap! Chew chew~ Gulp! Kyaa!! Hap! Hap!”

Only Beelzebub, picking up her dropped fork and frantically scooping up the soy sauce Jeyuk from the center of the table, filled the quiet cottage.

-Thud!-

“Gasp!! Phew… gasp… phew… cough cough!
B-Beelzebub… cough! It’s… it’s more delicious if you eat it with rice… cough! cough!”

The Demon King’s special! The cable car tour of Seoul came to an unfortunate end.
As I gasped for oxygen on the cottage floor, I gave Beelzebub a special lecture on how to properly eat Jeyuk!
And the Demon King, who had been staring blankly at Beelzebub inhaling the Jeyuk like a vacuum cleaner…?

“Sob…!”

?? He suddenly started bawling his eyes out!

“Sniff… It always bothered me that she ate so little… it’s so good to see you eat so heartily, Beelzebub…
This father is full just watching you eat so deliciously, sniff… t-tears…”

“Nom nom… Uncle Teo… this… can I have mowe of this…”

While the Demon King, a human juicer, was busy extracting every last drop of fluid from his face!
My, my, Beelzebub has finished a whole plate of Jeyuk! Ha! Seeing her eat so deliciously makes all the hard work of cooking the rice and stir-frying the Jeyuk feel so rewarding!

“Here! There’s more, Beelzebub. Tell me if you want more.
Your Majesty must be hungry as well, please have your meal. There is plenty of Jeyuk Bokkeum.”

“Sob… sniffle… y-yes. I have made a fool of myself.”

-Gasp.-

The highest-performance juicer in the Demon Kingdom (the Demon King) finally stopped and took a bite of the Jeyuk.

“!!!!”

“Caretaker… Caretaker!!!”

“Y-Yes!! Please speak, Your Majesty!”

“Right… right now! Bring all! All of it! All of this ‘Jeyuk’!!!!”

“Ye-es!! Right away, Your Majesty!”

The Demon King is, as expected, extremely satisfied. Of course, I’ll bring it to him, you bet I will!!

-Clatter!-

“I’ve brought all the Jeyuk! Please enjoy your meal…”

“Uncle Teo, you eat with us too!”

“Mm! I grant permission. Dine with us, caretaker.”

Ah… ahh… I’m touched… just so touched!
For the Demon King to allow me to share a table so easily, without any objection… sob…

“Th-th-thank you!!”

“Waaah… I’m full… I can’t eat anymowe…”

Beelzebub patted her little belly, which had popped back out again.

“Hmm…? Does that mean you won’t be having dessert, Beelzebub?”

“Ah!! Uncle Teo! Dessewt is a separate stomach!! Pout!!”

Aish… tsk! Getting upset over a little joke…

“Alright. You may bring out the dessert now, caretaker.
I am expecting a dessert as delicious as the Jeyuk Bokkeum.”

“I understand, Your Majesty! Please do not worry!”

I responded sharply to the Demon King’s words, his expectations raised by the Jeyuk, and immediately ran to the kitchen to prepare the dessert. There was no time to hesitate!

“Phew, first, place the tteok dough, which has been slightly air-dried, onto a greased frying pan.”

-Sizzzzle!-

“Add a slice of butter to the pan to infuse it with a buttery aroma!
Ah! You can skip this if you don’t have any. I’m adding it to create a more diverse aroma since I’m serving the Demon King.”

-Sizzzzzle!!-

“And… sprinkle sugar in a bowl.”

-Shhhh!-

“Take out the nicely browned and crispy tteok and place it in a sieve to drain the oil.”

-Crisp!-

“Finally! Place the well-drained tteok into the bowl of sugar and shake it, shake it, shake it?”

-Shake! Shake! Shake!-

“Done! Jireum Tteok feat, butter version! Haa! The smell is to die for!”

The savory scent of the Jireum Tteok must have spread throughout the cottage.
Beelzebub, who had been playing and joking with the Demon King at the table, said loudly to him.

“Hyaa!! Daddy! I think Uncle Teo finished the dessewt! It smells sooooo good!!”

“Yes, yes, Beelzebub, I smell it too. It is indeed a mouth-watering aroma.
Caretaker? Is the dessert not ready yet?”

Hearing the Demon King’s urging, impatient to see Beelzebub’s happy face after eating dessert, I quickly set the plates and forks on the table.
Then, I gently placed the finale of this evening’s dinner, the dessert, in front of the Demon King and Beelzebub.

“Today’s dessert is Jireum Tteok.”

“Hyaa!! The one Uncle Teo and I made… Uncle Teo made it sooooo pwetty!”

“Jireum Tteok? Another dish I’m hearing for the first time. How is it made?”

Mhm! It’s been six years since I survived in this goddamn world!
I couldn’t find tteok anywhere no matter how hard I looked, so it’s natural the Demon King doesn’t know about it!

“It is a dessert that is an adaptation of a style enjoyed in my hometown, using a food called ‘tteok’ which is made from rice.”

“It’s characterized by its fun texture and sweet taste, achieved by lightly drying the outside, frying it in oil, infusing it with butter, and then coating it with sugar.”

“In particular, it was my favorite dish when I was young, so it was the first dessert that came to mind when I saw the pri… no, when I saw Beelzebub.
Please, I hope you enjoy it…”

As soon as my lengthy explanation was over, the two strongest beings in the world, father and daughter, picked up the same tteok in the same pose and took a bite in unison.

-Crisp!!-

-Crisp!-

“!!!!!!”

“!!!!!!”

Beelzebub’s eyes grew so wide I worried sugar powder might fall in.
The Demon King, in contrast, closed his eyes, crossed his arms, and silently savored the taste.
Hah! I’m as confident in my Jireum Tteok as I am in my Jeyuk!

“U-Uncle Teo… Uncle Teo!! Let’s… let’s live togethew fowevew!!”

Beelzebub made a sudden proposal…

-Crisp! Crisp! Crisp! Crisp!-

And the Demon King ate the Jireum Tteok one after another without a word.

“Aah!! Daddy!! What are you doing, eating it all by youwself!!”

“Beelzebub? I’ve prepared a lot of Jireum Tteok.
Your Majesty? There is plenty of Jireum Tteok, so please enjoy it slowly.”

“Whoa!!! Uncle Teo is the best!!”

It’s a really, really good thing I prepared a lot.