Chapter 16: Truly Naive

“….What in the world is that?”

Oksana dropped the quill she was holding and began to tremble.

Because the news the person who rushed to her conveyed was not just unbelievable, it was nonsensical.

The first piece of news she heard was not surprising.

Because she already knew the Grand Duchess would win against Sonia or easily pass the Knight Examination.

But.

“…Sonia, that child…………tried to kill the Grand Duchess?”

Because the latter news was a story she could never believe.

Thump-!

Oksana’s pupils trembled greatly, and the chair she was sitting on instantly flew far away.

Even though she had merely stood up, a terrifying pressure began to bind the room.

“…What, what nonsense is that!! Did, did this old woman, did this old woman hear wrong?!? Sonia, Sonia that child, what-!”

“Cough, Ox, Oksana-nim. Cal, calm down-“

The knight, who instantly had his collar grabbed, had only come to deliver news but had to face unexpected trouble.

However, Oksana, without time to worry about the knight’s condition due to such shocking news, simply emitted the aura of someone who was once a Sword Saint, unable to control it.

“…Say it again, say it again. What did Sonia, what did Sonia do?”

That her disciple.

The disciple she decided to nurture last, whom she brought in because she was exactly like herself in her youth.

The fact that she tried to kill the Grand Duchess of the Duchy, the person who would now become the Grand Duke-

“Gasp, Oksana-nim. Cal, calm down-“

Was a truth she simply could not easily accept.

“Why would that child do such a thing, why!!”

Clatter-!

“…It is all true, Senior.”

The door was opened forcefully, and Count Pollack stepped into the room.

Unlike his considerably somber expression, his gaze towards Oksana was intensely sharp.

“…Antoni.”

Oksana’s face, turned towards Count Pollack who confirmed it, crumpled abruptly.

Because they knew each other, Oksana could instantly tell there was no lie in Count Pollack’s words.

“…More importantly, why not let go of his hand? I believe you are being too harsh on a novice knight.”

“………….”

Thud-

As Oksana’s hand released its strength, the knight’s body, which had been trembling under the pressure, dropped to the ground.

The knight took a deep breath and managed to relax his stiff body.

“Gasp, huff, huff. Tha, thank you. Count-nim.”

“No need for thanks. She is a difficult person for you to handle, so go quickly to the Grand Duke. Tell him that I, Antoni Pollack, will bring the physician.”

“Yes, yes sir!”

The knight got up urgently and quickly moved towards the door the Count had entered through.

That mighty presence, that terrifyingly intense presence was too harsh for a new knight to endure.

“…Is it really, really true? That Sonia, that Sonia tried to kill the Grand Duchess?”

Oksana’s breathing grew ragged, as if she couldn’t handle the swirling emotions.

Her two hands, which had been grabbing the knight, were now clenched into fists so tightly they could barely clench further.

“It is true. Sir Sonia rushed at the Grand Duchess from the start, scattering killing intent. The Grand Duchess barely managed to suppress her, but she was badly injured.”

The Count instinctively placed his hand on his waist.

Although she was once a Knight Commander he respected and even followed, she was now merely a dangerous individual unable to control her aura.

She was also someone he needed to take, even by force, if it was for his purpose.

“She vomited blood on the way, and then completely collapsed after arriving. If it hadn’t been for the Grand Duchess, her neck would likely have been severed in one blow.”

The Count continued his vigilance, looking at Oksana, who was muttering something hollowly with empty eyes.

‘…Was I the only one dulled by that war?’, began to swirl in his head again.

Because that voice was too shaky to be the voice of someone who had lost countless times.

“That’s, impossible. Sonia, that child couldn’t possibly……”

Although a bitter taste lingered in his mouth, it was necessary for him to do it.

Because to set the Duchy right, regardless of his feelings, she needed to ascend to the position of Grand Duke.

That alone would be the truth that would never change.

“…Now is not the time for this, Senior. The Grand Duchess needs you as her physician for her treatment, so let us go quickly.”

“No, that child has no reason to do that. I too, I too did it with such intention-“

Despite Count Pollack’s firm words, Oksana continued to mutter something.

To be sure, her appearance looked as if she had gone senile.

“Senior. There is no time. I will tell you about your disciple’s well-being later, so come along quickly. You know that this is not important now.”

He simply could not understand why the person who had been perfectly fine was acting like this.

The Oksana in Count Pollack’s memory was someone who stood at the forefront of war, leading the knight order with cold eyes.

She was not someone who would collapse so easily just because she had aged.

“………Talk.”

After Pollack’s firm words, focus returned to Oksana’s eyes.

However, as if his words were not the trigger, the fierce aura that had erupted and pressured the knight also rose again.

“…Move aside. I must, must talk with Sonia.”

“You cannot. Whatever that nonsensical resolve is, there is a separate priority. Do not be stubbornly unreasonable.”

Pushing the handguard with his finger, he subtly drew the sword from its scabbard.

He would have to swing it if push came to shove.

Although she was old, Oksana was once a skilled person who stood above the Count.

“For me, that is the priority. I must talk with Sonia. I must, I must talk.”

The fierce aura stabbed at the Count’s heart.

If he moved from this spot, only the sound of clashing metal would follow.

Of course, since she was not the same as before, he could barely suppress her if he called others… but doing so would only lengthen the time it took to bring her to the Grand Duchess.

Although it was a word he did not want to utter himself, he had no choice but to resolve it through stern words.

“…………Why is that mere disciple so important that you are causing such a fuss?”

“Mere disciple? You wouldn’t know, you-“

“Hah, “, how many disciples did you lose, and you’re making such a fuss now!

Were those youngsters whose heads rolled at your feet not your disciples too!?!”

“……What?”

Oksana’s body stiffened once more, and her aura subsided.

Count Pollack, who had spoken, also twisted his expression further and yelled out with difficulty, like someone spitting out something they didn’t want to say.

“Huh, have you already forgotten?

No, everyone was always like that.

Why forget so soon, and then try to look after your people now?

How many people have we let slip through our hands, and now you’re acting like a kind person and raging!!”

At the voice that burst out as if vomiting, as if pulling out resentment, Oksana’s head naturally bowed.

Count Pollack squeezed his eyes shut, and after spitting out the words, he quietly lifted his head to the sky and sighed.

That appearance could only be seen as someone who had said something that should not have been said.

It was such a statement, one that had to be made.

Because it was a statement that even dragged out his comrade’s wounds, just to confirm that his own heart wasn’t the only one pierced.

“…Please, think about what is important.

I do not want to walk that hellish path again with my own feet, and for that, the Grand Duchess is needed.

Senior, your feelings are the same as mine, aren’t they?”

Count Pollack managed to speak, as if wailing or as if scraping his own body.

That appearance was closer to that of a gaunt and haggard straggler than that of a lord leading a county.

“…Yes, that was true.”

As if only now remembering it, Oksana bit her lip tightly and let her aura subside.

As if she had simply been hiding it as well, Oksana’s face was also distorted with agony.

Simply because, although she had been seized by childhood trauma and cried out for her disciple, she had not forgotten that tragedy either.

And, unfortunately for the Grand Duchess… it was certain that the current Weiss Duchy needed her.

Even if someone similar became the Grand Duke, they would only get similar results.

“…My apologies.

Perhaps it is because I am at an age where I am beginning to go senile, I made a spectacle of myself.

I will quickly, gather my things.”

Oksana put aside her thoughts about her disciple for a moment and decided to focus on preventing the same thing from happening again.

Sonia, not being very close to the Grand Duchess, would not experience the same things as her, but.

…The Grand Duke would be different.

Furthermore, Oksana herself did not want to see such a sight again.

The fact that Sonia had truly done something similar to what she had done had simply awakened old memories.

As if she was about to go senile.

“…It is good that you have realized now.

And, I am saying this because I know Senior is not someone who would betray the Grand Ducal family.

It would be good to think about an explanation beforehand.”

“……Do not worry, I know well.

There are not many others who truly remember that time, besides you and me.”

Rather, perhaps it is a sin that I have remained sane and normal until now.

Because there were not one or two people who crawled at my feet and were forgotten through death.

What that damn great war took away was much more than what I lost in my youth.

I was merely clinging to a life that should have gone senile and died long ago, sustained by one disciple who was like my younger self.

……No, more accurately, it is closer to holding onto a life that began with foolishness, still holding onto it with foolishness.

Only the throbbing, beating heart sadly led to pointless frustration for still being alive.

Because only the bitter, painful youth, the youth stained with blood, was the only photo album left to me.

“…Let us go.

I have troubled the Grand Duchess.”

To open a photo album, get lost in memories, and grow old.

“If you know, think about countermeasures.”

Neither she nor Count Pollack could.

“…Because it seems our new master is not someone who is only warm-hearted.”

Because the focus of the photos was not on myself, but soaked in the blood of those who had died.

Because I had fully realized that it is not a good thing for a child to be stained with blood.

That is why, even having grown old, I would merely close my mouth.

Because wisdom was something transmitted by those who were worthy.

***

…………I have been fainting often lately.

To say often, it was once a month ago because I missed my medication, but isn’t fainting twice before the month is over a lot?

It is not good to wake up and find my memory gone.

Observing every single expression helps with rapid analysis.

In my previous life, there were many materials to collect such as dramas and movies, but in this fantasy world, there are no memory cards.

So, in a situation where there is virtually no practice left before real-life application, every single conversation is valuable data to me.

However, if I just lie here, only a future of being ousted will remain.

My body might remember, but if my head doesn’t remember, I will only show strange behavior.

As I opened my eyes, I felt a dryness in my throat.

When I tried to move my fingers, pain instantly rushed in, suggesting my body had not fully recovered yet.

Since being reborn, my mind has no such intention, yet only my body cracks and splits, merely causing annoyance.

Isn’t this weak, collapsing state exactly like the people around me?

The way they easily give up when caught up in emotion was quite similar to me, collapsing easily from injuries here and there.

As someone whose body gives up first, not my mind, leaving me helpless, it is simply unfair.

Rustle-

Thinking that way and forcing my body to get up, my muscles screamed as if I had been lying down for quite a while.

Even so, it was weaker than the pain I usually always felt, so I could get up easily.

‘…Hmm, I thought perhaps.’

‘Is it as expected?’

When I turned my head, my brother was sitting and sleeping beside the bed, as if this was his rightful place.

As I have said many times, I have considerable difficulty understanding why people without medical knowledge lie down beside the sick.

From a rational perspective, ‘Was there a reason they had to do this?’.

‘What emotion should I define as the cause of this behavior?’

‘How can I, with great difficulty, understand this within my rational domain?’

I, who had casually thought of the phrase ‘family affection’, couldn’t help but frown for a moment, as if unpleasant memories came to mind.

There was only my brother in the room, and thankfully he was bowing his head; otherwise, there might have been a problem.

To make the unpleasant sensation disappear, I barely managed to fix my expression and placed my hand on my brother’s head.

Ostensibly, it was because he seemed to quite like it last time, but in reality, it was to wake him up quickly.

As I heard, knights are said to have sensitive senses.

Rustle-

“…Ah, dear.

It seems I have woken you up.”

Although that was the original purpose, I straightened my expression and looked at my brother.

My body was stiff, but thankfully my facial muscles didn’t seem to have stiffened completely yet, so they moved quite well.

My brother slowly raised his body and looked at me.

For someone who had just woken up, his eyes were quite sharp-

‘…Sharp?’

‘What is it, why is this fellow angry?’

His lips were tightly shut, and his gaze had become sharp; that was clearly the emotion of anger.

Although something else was mixed in behind it, I couldn’t quite distinguish it as I had only recently woken up myself.

However, what was certain was that, at any rate, the main emotion was anger.

‘Let me think for a moment, just a moment.’

‘…Ah.’

“I am sorry, my brother.

That, I intended to do just enough and then give up, but the opponent rushed at me trying to kill me……”

Yes, if that is the case, I can understand.

I was the problem.

At any rate, perhaps this fellow showed goodwill because he thought I would yield the Grand Dukedom to him.

Also, he might have extended goodwill without hesitation because he was certain he would become the Grand Duke.

So, the current situation is no different than me snatching the Grand Dukedom.

It is a good timing for goodwill to turn into hostility.

It is a roughly understandable reason.

“That, I will handle it by stepping down soon due to health issues or something similar, so I hope you won’t be too angry-“

“I am not angry, Sister.”

‘…………?’

‘Oh, but it was clearly an angry expression?’

By then, my brother’s primary emotion had shifted from anger to emptiness.

His appearance was suddenly completely different from what I had judged.

‘What is it, did I misunderstand?’

Having said that, I cannot say that expression wasn’t angry either.

‘Or is there some other meaning in that expression that I didn’t know?’

‘…Hmm, or is it a kind of metaphor?’

‘That he is not angry for that reason, or that I have caused additional anger?’

‘Ah, if so.’

“…Ah, that.

By saying I am sorry, I am, sorry?

That, something seems a bit off with the words, but you said last time you didn’t want apologies….so.”

“…Huh.”

My brother let out a sigh as if dumbfounded, and then his expression changed to one that was even harder to read than before.

One that was too many things mixed together, difficult to recognize, like-

“…I understand.

Last time, it was because you were not feeling well, Sister.”

‘Last time, would be… when I didn’t take my medication?’

‘Was it then?’

“Uh, uh?”

“However, it was a sincerity I spoke with difficulty, and I feel it is a bit too much that you are still the same.”

‘……Said what?’

‘Did he say anything else besides not wanting to hear apologies?’

‘I only remember thinking that my brother’s true nature meant he was unfit to be a great ruler.’

“……Hah.

Please, can you not be just a little less kind?

Please, just a little.”

Having said that, my brother suddenly tightly grabbed my hand and bowed his head.

As for me, who didn’t understand what he was saying, I was simply bewildered.

‘What is kind, and what did he say?’

‘No, he needs to say the subject for me to understand, if he speaks like that, only talking to himself, what am I supposed to do?’

It is maddening enough that his true nature is like that, and now he is speaking incomprehensible words, it is driving me insane.

My brother held my hand tightly like that for a while, then eventually lifted his head, biting his lip.

All I could say for sure was that it was an expression that implied strong endurance.

“…I am sorry.

You must be the one who is most hurt, Sister.”

“…Ah, that.

It is alright.”

Although it wasn’t alright, I said so for now.

Even though I kept thinking, I still didn’t understand his meaning, which was maddening.

“You will be uncomfortable in many ways, so I will call your personal maid.

Ah, and-“

My brother’s face instantly turned cold.

This one was definite anger and suspicion, and I was certain its destination was not me.

“…Outside, the physician is waiting.

If you wish, I will imprison her for now.”

Yes, in fact, what my brother said wasn’t that important.

As I took the test, one of the two things I was waiting for- was this one.

“No, there is no need for that.

Could you ask a servant to bring two cups of tea?

It seems I need to have a conversation with her.”

“……Wasn’t the one who tried to kill you, Sister, her disciple?

And yet, you wish to meet her?”

My brother made an expression as if disillusioned and looked beyond the door.

Perhaps she was the one who treated my body, but even so, my brother seemed to harbor hostility towards the physician.

“…I do not think the physician is that kind of person.

For now, don’t you think we should have a conversation?”

If she had decided to kill me, she could have done so several times.

At that point, and likely at the point where she is outside for the sake of her disciple, she was temporarily removed from the list of suspects.

“……I understand.

However, please allow me to be present as well.”

“Hm?

No, it is alright if you don’t.

You must have things to do, don’t you?”

‘I don’t think you could stop that old woman just by standing guard, brother.’

“Sister, you have a side that is too kind.”

‘…………?’

‘What?’

“I am afraid that kindness might be extended to the physician.

I dislike it, because it seems you might forgive even the one who tried to kill you, Sister.”

‘Huh.’

It was the most absurd thing I had heard recently.

‘Kind?’

‘Affectionate?’

Bringing up the two words that least suit me, it was nothing short of dumbfounding.

“And, isn’t my qualification sufficient?

If you are to ascend to the position of Grand Duke, you placed the Holy Sword in my hand at that place last time, didn’t you?

As a successor, I also have the right to hear the conversation.”

‘Perhaps that brother thinks of me as the kindest and most naive sister in the world.’

It was good in the sense that image management had worked, but as for my true nature, it was simply absurd.

‘What in the world should I say about this……’

‘…No, no.’

‘Is there a need to resolve this through conversation?’

‘I could just, show him directly.’

Yes, anyway, if I am to raise my brother into a great ruler later, I must reveal my true nature.

If it was something I would eventually show him, starting now was the right thing to do.

If I am to make him useful as much as possible within three years.

“……If you wish, you may do so.”

‘At the very least, isn’t it necessary to start showing him what kind of person his sister is?’

To my poor brother, who does not know who is truly naive.