Chapter 13: The Day Has Come

“…It’s… done.”

As I kept my eyes closed for a while, Mary’s voice announcing the completion of my adornment reached my ears.

I wondered why I had to dress up even on a day like this, but I was told that since many people would be watching, I had to maintain a proper appearance.

I, too, was well aware of how valuable a social image is, so I agreed on that part. Of course, this time, which demanded patience and stillness, was nothing but truly irritating and bothersome.

Still, the moment I saw my adorned self—

—I thought, ‘It’s worth it.’

When I opened my eyes, a woman with an image different from my usual delicate one came into view. Having worn only black dresses, this kind of bright attire seemed to exude a rather mystical aura.

Perhaps if I were someone who possessed even a shred of self-love, this body would be perfectly suited for becoming a narcissist.

Even though I had bound my chest with bandages and pursued a masculine femininity instead of conventional femininity, it proudly displayed its beauty as if to say its original value was not easily marred; it was only natural.

However, since I don’t particularly like myself, it’s merely a pretty sight to behold.

It was probably just a useless luxury item, doing nothing more than making the hearts of onlookers pound for no reason.

In reality, what lay within was merely a monster, barely managing to live by imitating a human. Even if I were to fall in love, it would likely end with me merely acting the part of an ideal lover, just like in my past life.

‘…Actually, shouldn’t I clarify my gender identity before any of that?’

“Thank you, Mary. Every time I see your work, I truly think you have skilled hands.”

Setting aside my uncharacteristically romantic ponderings on gender and love for a moment, I turned my head towards Mary.

Her expression was considerably more discomposed than before; it seemed this failure had dealt her quite a blow. After all, the fact that assassins could enter this room four times was surely due to her assistance.

“…Thank you. It’s merely, my humble skill.”

“Hehe, so modest.”

If I had my way, I would have liked to have a sincere conversation with her right now, but the examination was the priority.

Therefore, I was currently suppressing that desire with immense patience.

‘Ah, in that case.’

“Come to think of it, I’ve thanked you many times, yet I don’t recall actually giving you anything in return. Just a moment, let’s see—”

‘Instead, wouldn’t it be alright to prepare something?’

I opened a drawer and took out a ring that I hadn’t used for a while and had tucked away in a corner. Its color was brilliant, and it seemed to be still in good condition despite the long time that had passed.

“…Ah, My Lady?”

I gently took Mary’s hand and, after dusting off the ring, placed it on her index finger. Then, as if it had found its rightful owner, the ring automatically shrank to fit her finger snugly.

“It’s a gift. I won’t say anything even if you sell it, so use it as you please. However, I’d appreciate it if you wore it at least for today.”

“I, I cannot accept it. How could you give me something so precious—”

“Ahem, just take it. When someone who is fully deserving receives a fitting reward, what is there to say about it being precious or not?”

“My, Lady…”

Mary’s expression had become quite a sight to behold. An expression so mixed and contorted that she herself probably couldn’t tell what it was.

It seemed that hidden within it was the emotion of gratitude, which I found simply amusing.

Expressing gratitude to the person you tried to kill—wouldn’t even a little thought on that evoke a cascade of scornful laughter?

Realizing, perhaps, that her emotions were no longer properly concealed, Mary quickly bowed her head.

Considering it took her about two seconds to do so, she was certainly not well-suited to be an actress.

“Aha, there’s no need to be that moved. You must have been quite happy. Yes, alright. Don’t be too overjoyed.”

I patted her back appropriately and placed my hand on Mary’s shoulder.

From the outside, it might have appeared to be a suitably heartwarming relationship, but sadly, the truth was it was nothing more than a ridiculous charade between an assassination target and her collaborator.

As she (Mary) began to raise her head, I quickly readjusted my expression and straightened my back, which I had bent.

“Well then, I’ll be going. I don’t think I’ll need an escort. And that’s because—”

Creeaak—

“…Hmm, as expected. You’re here, little brother.”

As I opened the door, I saw my brother waiting, as if it were a familiar routine.

If my memory served me right, we had agreed that the day of the last succession ceremony would be his final time escorting me, but it seemed that promise had been vaguely postponed.

My brother seemed to show a blank expression for a moment upon seeing me come out of the door, but he soon composed himself.

Though he was clearly still very immature, he seemed more adept at controlling his expressions than Mary, who was considerably older.

“…It suits you well, sister.”

I’m sure I’ve visited him often recently, but he just doesn’t seem to talk more.

Is his innate reticence something that can’t be broken even by becoming closer? The way he keeps avoiding my gaze seems to be a slightly different issue, though.

“Is that so? I’m glad it looks good. It’s my first time wearing clothes like this, so it feels a bit awkward.”

‘Well, let’s work on fixing this slowly from now on.’

Two to three years—it only felt short because I had spent that time steeped in indolence, wasting away the days, but it was undeniably a significantly long period.

“Anyway, I’ll be off, Mary. The gift I gave you, please make sure to wear it, at least for today.”

‘If you don’t wear it, well.’

‘It would be quite… unfortunate.’

“…Please, be careful on your way, My Lady.”

‘…Pfft, carefully, she says.’

At such an inappropriate farewell, I almost burst out laughing but managed to hold it in and waved my hand.

She’ll probably say that and then inform the other servants.

She was clearly a woman unaccustomed to wearing two faces.

Or perhaps, her experiences so far—four failures—were so devastating that they posed a truly significant threat to her.

‘Is this method over now, or will she try the same approach next time?’

‘Normally, a sane person wouldn’t try the same thing more than three times, I’d think.’

‘However, I was someone who gave three chances, and this was already their fourth… ’

‘Hmm.’

‘It’s a dilemma, truly a dilemma.’

“Are you alright without your cane?”

While I was lost in thought about Mary, my brother asked about my empty hand, which felt particularly bare today.
Unlike usual, I hadn’t brought my cane.

“It does feel a bit empty. But I can’t very well use a cane on the day of the knight examination, can I?”

Unless I planned to perform acrobatic movements holding a cane in one hand and a greatsword in the other, it was something I shouldn’t bring.

My joints weren’t strong enough for such antics either.

In the first place, the reason I usually walk with a cane is because of the persistent, deep pain in my body.

Therefore, if the physician’s prescription was to take medication only during seizures, there was no separate way to block the pain constantly felt at other times.

Since medicine, if used frequently, is a substance that causes addiction and various side effects, it was certainly a very wise choice.

So, usually, even walking was difficult, making the cane indispensable—

“Besides, I took my medicine before coming, so it’s fine. At least this time, I won’t collapse, so don’t worry.”

With plenty of time before a seizure was due, there was nothing particular to hinder me.

As long as I still had the image of just a sickly Grand Duchess, I wouldn’t be using a cane outside.

“…The fact that you’re going to take the examination is already a concern.”

“…Hmm, I’ve told you repeatedly. What I learned at Schwartz still remains, so there’s no need to worry about getting seriously injured.”

Even when I went to talk to him repeatedly, my brother’s reaction was always the same.

Words that implied the exam was too harsh for me to take, that I didn’t necessarily have to do my best—such intentions were clear.

“…But—”

“Little brother.”

What some servants said out of pretense, this boy said with sincerity, so there was no need for me to say much else.
Perhaps due to his naive nature, my brother genuinely harbored a deep, almost cloying affection for me.

From my perspective, having responded to him rather perfunctorily, I could only wonder why he was like this, but let’s not try to deduce the thought processes of such beings.

Those whose minds were composed of incomprehensible goodwill or malice were, without exception, mad.

“…I’m sorry for interrupting. But, I felt I had to say this.”

However, even if they were mad, they were beings moved by emotion, and unless they were skilled at concealing their feelings like the physician, they were bound to be figured out by me.

“I always appreciate your concern.”
“But, if you keep acting like this, it will only make your sister, who has made up her mind, look foolish.”

In that regard, I offered a piece of advice I had never given before.

“Excessive worry can sometimes be interpreted not by your intentions, but by the other person’s feelings. Meaning, it can lead the other person to think, ‘Are you perhaps disregarding me?'”

It was advice containing only truth.

Because once, during a time when I only feigned empathy, I had an unpleasant experience due to a similar situation.

“Of course, I understand your feelings, but if you try to convey only your feelings recklessly, it will only make the other person uncomfortable. From now on, I hope you’ll be a little more mindful of that.”

“…I’m sorry.”

‘Actually, I wonder if it wouldn’t be more appropriate to teach him about the art of handling people, rather than this. Since I’ll have to teach him everything later anyway, it’s probably fine to tell him a few things in advance.’

“No, there’s nothing to be sorry about. Although I said that, I’ve never thought you were disregarding me. I just meant, don’t act like this towards other people.”

With that intention, I spoke a little longer than usual.

Truthfully, it was more like I took the initiative because if I didn’t, the conversation would obviously drag on and become lengthy.

“…I will take it to heart, sister. Thank you for your wise words.”

Even though I had escaped from indolence, I still preferred to avoid long conversations.

Fortunately, at my brother’s easily subdued demeanor, I quietly reached out and patted his head.

“Yes. It’s enough that you listened. You’re a good boy, little brother.”

It was an action I tried for the first time in my life, wondering if it would work well for a ‘somewhat normal family’—and it seemed to have been effective.

He flinched for a moment, but the slight smile he wore suggested he wasn’t displeased.

Noticing our pace had slowed, I removed my hand and gave him a suitably affectionate-looking smile.

“Let’s get going again. You should lead the way, right?”

“…Yes, sister.”

‘It’s more effective than I thought; it might be a good tool for educating him later,’ I vaguely considered.

As I continued walking, my thoughts were on what I needed to do after quickly finishing the examination.

After all, passing the examination easily was a foregone conclusion.

***

Shhhaaaak—!

The sword grazed my shoulder.

Splattering blood momentarily filled my vision, reflected in my pupils.

I quickly pulled my body back, but the fact that my shoulder had been cut did not disappear.

That last strike had aimed for my life, and while it was true I had avoided it, a wound doesn’t vanish easily.

Without needing to worry about the pain suppressed by medicine, the current situation came into focus.

My opponent was a red-haired female knight, wielding a real sword, her eyes radiating killing intent. The location was a secluded forest in the North, where the examination was being held.

‘Hmm.’

‘I might not… pass after all.’