Chapter 20: Last Opportunity

Although I may not be good at empathy, that doesn’t mean I don’t feel emotions.

On the contrary, in my previous life, I was quite emotional, and that’s why I did a lot of things that damaged my social reputation.

Of course, thanks to the high-quality education from my mother in my previous life, I am now quite adept at surgically removing my emotions-

[Ugh, ugh……]

….Seeing a sight like that, it was impossible not to feel my anger surge.

A smile formed reflexively, and thousands of thoughts that would be socially criticized flashed through my mind.

If I use my current status well, unlike in my previous life, I can relieve stress quite easily.

I don’t need to rack my brains in complex ways, and there’s not much to prepare.

More than anything, the low risk of exposure is the biggest advantage-

….I’ll have to endure it for now. It will only worsen my already poor health.

And, after all, there’s nothing I can do about this bladed object, which is the source of this stress.

“···So, why did you come? There are still about three weeks left until the enthronement ceremony.”

As I calmed the boiling emotions into my cold body, I lay down on the bed again due to the incoming fatigue.

The Holy Sword, which had been trembling under the artifact’s paralysis, suddenly seemed to regain consciousness, stopped vibrating, and flew towards me.

[…..What, what?! Why the fck?! The Knight Examination should have ended a long time ago!]

“If you have eyes… no, if you can see, look properly. Do I look like I can move right now?”

It claims to be a Holy Sword with a long history, yet it whines like a child. Isn’t it ashamed?

The suppressed anger that was about to boil up again was something I simply couldn’t completely suppress.

[Uh, um. That is certainly true, but….]

Is it a good thing that it doesn’t read my thoughts arbitrarily like last time, at least?

No, is there a need to see something so obvious in that way?

Considering the effort I put into doing something so obvious, it was somehow difficult to give it a positive evaluation.

[No, well. That is, I thought you had forgotten about me, that’s why I did that. Since you didn’t come at all……]

Seeing it babble out excuses and act like that made it even more so.

The fact that it made me realize my brother was relatively quiet was likely proof of the extreme loathing I felt towards it.

There seemed to be no value in talking to it further, so I sighed and closed my eyes.

Considering this was my last moment of leisure, it was a waste of time to spend emotion on something like that.

[No, more importantly, how on earth did your body, which was already bad, become like this… Wasn’t it easy for someone like you to win quickly?]

“···It happened because there was a problem. Can’t you just shut up and stay stuck where you were originally?”

[Why are you saying such mean things! I’ve been in that spot for hundreds of years, and I don’t want to stay like that even after meeting a suitable person!]

After living like that for hundreds of years, it could have waited another month, but why was it buzzing in front of me?

A feeling of regret washed over me, thinking that if I had put more strength into it then, it might have been able to get away without ending up like this.

In fact, wouldn’t it have been better to look forward to meeting such a being one more time?

According to the Holy Sword, since I had reincarnated once, I would continue to be reborn anyway, so I wondered if there wouldn’t be at least one more being among my many lives who could permanently end my existence.

Rather than being stuck with such a childish being for three years, I would rather-

{It is annoying enough that I was almost swallowed by that fluttering holy power, and you expect me to remain in the same state after meeting a suitable person? No! I hate it! I cannot do it!}

….Maybe committing suicide right now is the right choice.

Of course, that is only an emotional and impulsive option, so I should not make a rash judgment.

After all the trouble of discarding a life, I know firsthand how unpleasant it is to be reborn.

If I were to keep experiencing that without limitation, it was certainly a good choice to endure it for now.

{Since I have suffered such humiliation, I will definitely not go back! There is no one guarding it anyway, so I will stay here!}

….Wouldn’t I get used to such childish behavior eventually, by seeing it more often?

Getting up automatically and making my hand reach for the staff would be something I couldn’t help, though.

[Eh? Huh? Eek-!? Ju, just a moment! That’s cheating! If I get hit by that, I’ll be dead!]

Hmm, it was an impulsive action, but it got scared?

The room just now, and the staff this time, both suggest that the artifact’s effects work to some extent on the Holy Sword as well.

It was certain, seeing it, which had been babbling and boasting, close the window it had entered through and quickly escape to the corner.

“···Just, shut up. Before I throw away the contract and everything.”

Well, anyway. Among the artifacts I have created so far, this one is the best performing.

And I, because of that talent, was suffering from Grace.

[Ah, I understand! I’ll be quiet! I’ll be quiet!]

After sighing while looking at the Holy Sword which had silently crammed its blade into the corner, I put down the staff again and lay down on the bed.

It was a talent thanks to which I would have been murdered by assassins long ago if I hadn’t had it, but thinking that I became a suitable person because of it was irritating.

….Thanks to it, I had some fun, and I plan to have some fun occasionally in the future, so let’s make do with that.

Some are still buried alive in the room, but didn’t I play with a few of them well?

Ah.

Come to think of it, I should also call that supervisor who seemed to be friends with the assassins.

No, perhaps it would be better to root out all the spies at once.

So far, the list of spies I have identified includes some servants, led by Mary and the head butler, and that supervisor who observed the examination.

I think there might be more if I look, but for now, that is the extent of it.

In the first place, other than the fact that they tried to kill me, I had no idea of their purpose or the means by which they infiltrated.

In fact, I’m not particularly curious.

If I play with them for a while… no, if I have a conversation with them, they will probably spill it on their own.

Conversations, adjusting myself to the other person and continuing slowly and for a long time, were always enjoyable.

The only goodwill I could offer was nothing other than such conversations.

Since this was the only benevolence I could convey with a truly sincere heart, it was inevitable.

“·····Hah.”

With the anticipation of an interesting matter, a thrilling feeling rises in a corner of my heart, even though my body is sluggish.

It was certainly a feeling I should ignore.

My body was still not well, and strenuous movement would not be very helpful for my health.

I had to sleep.

To raise this fatigue, this sickly body, to even a slightly better level, rest was essential for me now.

Even though my senses were blurred, I had to ignore this thrilling sensation rising from my spine to truly reach what I wanted.

Patience, patience with emotions, was a clear guideline that my mother in my previous life had prioritized and taught me.

I clearly learned that emotions should be lightly placed after rational judgment, rational analysis, and expression based on ideals.

I clearly learned that to imitate the actions of a normal person, and the actions of an ideal person, I needed more than usual patience.

Now, think.

Think rationally, calmly.

What do I gain if I endure now?

What can I gain?

Rest for my body, and the accumulation of stamina for future goals.

I know well that the reward that follows is sweet.

Yes, I just need to endure.

If I endure just a little, then-

…..Can I gain awareness of my heart beating, this current glittering expectation?

….Hmph.

Ah, as expected.

Drug abuse was not a good thing.

Thanks to it, the rationality that should imitate normalcy is paralyzed, and I tend to revert to my true nature.

“·····Holy Sword.”

However, even if my rationality was paralyzed, my true nature was not irrational.

[··Uh, huh? I, I was really quiet this time…..?]

As always, I merely derived the optimal result in a way that cannot be considered optimal for a human.

“····Artifact, can you use it too?”

[Uh, I can… use, it?]

“Hmm, is that so?”

That purpose, too, would likely be far from the norm.

Even without acting, a genuine smile creeps out.

It is quite regrettable that I cannot move my body directly, but there will likely be no problem in gaining emotional satisfaction for once.

[····But, why suddenly?]

My brother is still far from arriving, and the Count just left.

There was no one who would open my sanctuary, which I had soundproofed after hearing the physician’s words last time.

“Ah.”

Once all rational judgments were finished, I simply pulled the string by my headboard.

Even though I couldn’t properly feel the texture of the string, the thrilling sensation emanating from my pounding heart.

The smile, brimming with genuine anticipation, not an act.

“I, woke up.”

It truly reminded me once again of how abnormal I was.

***

Mary von Hartmann.

She was a noble of the Empire, but after the fall of her family, she emigrated to the Duchy and barely obtained a job in the Grand Ducal family through the connections she still had.

She was originally assigned to other duties, but after Eleonora’s adoption, she was assigned as her personal maid because she was from the same Empire.

She is usually taciturn, but in fact, she is just shy and weak to kindness.

She is a considerable beauty with golden hair and clean green eyes.

“Is that…..truth?”

That much was the generally known fact.

“Yes, it is an order that came down from higher-ups. There is nothing strange about it.”

The fact that her true superior was not Eleonora Weiss was not well known, that kind of fact.

“In the first place, wasn’t it a report that came in to Sir Linus first? It is certain that the Grand Duchess herself, not Count Pollack, cut off the arm of the disciple that old woman taught.”

Although the Weiss family mansion was old, its presence was like seeing a castle made of eternal metal.

Grand but strong, old-fashioned yet practical, that mansion had many quiet spaces.

Standing in that space, Mary listened to the transmission of an order from someone.

She was relieved yet also surprised by the somewhat new order, instead of a reprimand for continued failure.

“Indeed, I have been observing her since she was nine years old, but I have not found any trace of her handling mana, yet…..”

“I know. I know well that you are not someone who would make a report carelessly. But the result came out that way, did it not?”

“…..Sir Linus also said he did not perceive the attack.”

Linus Schultz.

Unless the difference in skill is significant, most people can ascertain whether an opponent is capable of using mana.

However, that knight, who possessed no small skill even among those hidden in the Duchy, judged thus.

Furthermore, considering that he could handle not only swords but also magic….. this was a serious problem.

“It is a nonsensical matter. If that were the case, she would have already surpassed humans at the age of nine, but if we exclude that, does it not mean she is on our side?”

“…..Her original surname was Schwartz, you see.”

Therefore, for them, it was a completely unacceptable matter.

The Grand Duchess, as they had understood her until now, was merely a kind-hearted human who was extremely generous even with the rudeness of a mere servant.

She was merely a sickly girl, who smiled profusely, not even yet an adult.

….And decisively, she was a Schwartz, someone who could not possibly belong to them.

“Yes, even if it is a truly unexpected variable, it is a good thing that she is a Schwartz. Because we can handle her in the same way as the previous Grand Duke.”

However, that point would become an important factor that could resolve the situation.

It was also thanks to the method that would have to be carried out against the Grand Duchess in the future, that they were able to eliminate the Grand Duke, whose skill they dared not even look up to.

“…..If so, I will change the course of action from now on according to the instructions from above. Just in time, the Grand Duchess also provided the opportunity.”

Mary said this, looking down at the ring with the red jewel embedded in it, which was on her hand.

When she received it, she felt guilt creeping up, but she had something more important, so she had no choice but to brace herself.

What was the reason she had endured this far in a distant foreign land, in this desolate space?

What was the reason their past selves had lived such miserable lives?

“Yes, only a slight change has occurred. From now on, you just need to maintain a close relationship with the Grand Duchess. The main plan remains the same. You know that well, don’t you?”

All of them who were here would not have forgotten.

Although their specific details differed, ultimately, following the path to the end would lead to a single objective.

“Of course.”

“It is regrettable for Sir Linus, but regarding that, if you ask to replace him with a suitable person-“

Jingle-

The bell attached to Mary’s waist rang.

By the Grand Duchess pulling the string, the magic tool had been activated.

“···It is a summons.

Go now.”

“Yes, may God truly look down upon us.”

Mary, who bowed her head and offered her greetings, walked towards Eleonora’s room, leaving the middle-aged man behind.

For the past three days, she had been unconscious and had not even had a chance to speak properly, but from now on, she needed to build a relationship with her that was more than just an employer-employee one.

They hadn’t spoken to each other much in the past, but recently, the Grand Duchess had initiated conversation… so, even if she approached her now, it wouldn’t be strange.

Once they built a close relationship, Mary would essentially have nothing more to do.

Perhaps her superior, or Sir Linus, who would likely hold a grudge, would be entrusted with the task.

The mission before the turning point, which was the more difficult task of clearing the way for the assassins, turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

It wasn’t that she felt no guilt.

Killing a sickly girl who was not even a year away from adulthood was not something her conscience would allow.

However, as I said again, like everyone in the organization Mary belonged to-

Knock-knock-

She had a more desperate story, leaving her no choice but to set aside her conscience.

“······Ah, come in.”

According to the rule that she was usually generous about, but was the only thing she was firm about, she knocked on the door and did not enter until there was permission.

At the Grand Duchess’s permission heard from behind the door, Mary opened the door and stepped into the room.

Inside, her superficial master, Eleonora Weiss, was sitting up halfway in bed, smiling at her.

“You called, Miss?”

At her usual, utterly innocent appearance, Mary once again braced herself.

“Hmm, well, I think I called you for something a little unnecessary, but……”

Seeing her kind and considerate appearance, Mary sharpened the edges of her rough triangle.

“You can speak comfortably, Eleonora-nim.”

“Just now, perhaps because I took medicine, I can’t focus on reading, and it’s a little lonely, you see. If you’re alright with it, just for today, a little……”

At her bright and considerate appearance, she erased the warning from Sir Linus and simply suppressed her feelings.

“Do you need someone to keep you company?”

The fact that she would someday have to kill such a beautiful person sharpened her edges once again.

The shred of conscience that remained constantly threw Mary to the floor.

“······Is that alright?”

“Of course, it is my honor.”

The space for guilt to form a wound was already gone, her heart having been roughly torn.

“Ah, thank you. Since I am a little lonely, could you bring two cups of tea? It’s a little difficult to get up, and it will take some time to sit over there, so you can take your time, it’s alright.”

“You don’t have to do that. If you wait for me, I will help you.”

It was nothing to suffer more wounds by expressing the hatred towards those who had roughly bitten at her heart.

“I don’t want to bother you that much, that’s why. I always feel grateful and sorry to Mary.”

They, they were so desperate that they had to inflict tragedy three times on such an innocent girl.

“You don’t have to say such things, Miss. Whatever you ask me to do, it becomes my job. Rather, I hope you will give me tasks, so there is no need to feel sorry at all.”

“Is that so····?”

“Yes, as I said again, it is my honor. It would be strange if I didn’t feel that way serving such a good person as Miss, wouldn’t it?”

Nevertheless, thinking of her ruined family, she had only persuaded herself that she could step on this feeling, just this once.

“Ugh, um…..”

The Grand Duchess slightly brought her hand to her mouth, as if a little embarrassed by the praise.

Seeing the Grand Duchess like that, Mary suppressed her emotions once again and humbly bowed her head.

“Please wait a moment. I will bring it as you always drink it.”

She had to suppress her emotions, avoiding eye contact as much as possible.

Only then, could she later feel perhaps it had been the right thing to do.

“·····Thank you, Mary.”

Therefore, Mary simply left the room again, avoiding meeting the gaze of the Grand Duchess, who was still smiling.

To deepen the friendship with the Grand Duchess, who was always smiling as she had always been.

It seemed she would have to brew the tea and suppress her emotions even further.

Therefore, whether it was because of her raging conscience, or because of her goal, Mary missed one thing.

Likely, the last-

“······Thank you, truly.”

Opportunity….