Chapter 38: Knee pillow

In front of the nurse’s station, Yukina sat dazedly on a bench, her gaze lowered, cradling her phone in her hands.

The phone’s screen was shattered, cracks spreading from the bottom up like a spiderweb.

As her fingertip brushed across the screen, she could feel a faint sharpness.

Although the screen could still light up, the cracked areas no longer registered her touch.

This was a thirteenth birthday present from her brother.

She had been using it for two years now and had never replaced it.

It was probably an outdated model by now.

With this much damage, it would likely have to be retired for good if she didn’t get it repaired.

Yukina stared blankly at the floor, then raised her head again, her gaze falling upon Ephnel.

Ephnel was talking with a doctor.

The serene smile faintly visible on her profile wasted none of her face’s delicate beauty.

Even though she was now a black-haired girl, a far cry from the silver-haired one, the doctor showed no surprise or astonishment.

Yukina pursed her lips and looked away.

Perhaps for the staff here, the things Ephnel had hidden from her weren’t secrets at all… Only she didn’t know.

Only she had been left out.

She wanted to complain, but couldn’t bring herself to say anything.

Because Ephnel was only trying to protect her, while she had only ever been making one-sided demands.

Ephnel had put in an unimaginable amount of effort, yet she had misunderstood her all this time.

To shamelessly demand anything more now would be too much.

But the more she thought this way, the worse she felt.

What Yukina wanted wasn’t this kind of one-sided relationship, but one of needing and being needed, of relying and being relied upon.

“Onii-chan…”

Muttering softly, Yukina bent over, burying her face in the crook of her arm.

In truth, when Ephnel had confessed everything to her, she had been so lost and flustered that she had almost run away.

Because she couldn’t face that detestable version of herself.

But she was even more unwilling to leave Ephnel all alone, so in the end, she hadn’t taken that step.

Or maybe… subconsciously, she had already accepted it all.

If she put everything else aside and considered only the fact that “Onii-chan became a beautiful girl idol,” she didn’t actually find it scary.

There was even a strange excitement stirring in her heart.

Thinking about it that way, she really had no backbone.

Yukina lamented for no reason, burying her face even deeper.

The air was still uncomfortably quiet, with a faint chill.

The smell of medicine wasn’t pleasant.

She was so hungry, so tired.

She had been tense since the morning, busy with fan club matters.

She had finally gotten to meet Ephnel, only for an Erosion Disaster to strike immediately after.

With all that had happened, she had only eaten a single slice of toast.

Her body had long since reached its limit and was constantly screaming in protest.

She wanted to go home, eat a huge meal, sleep soundly, and then wake up to find it had all been a dream.

Yukina sighed softly, curled up in the crook of her arm, and before long, she had fallen into a deep sleep.

…

Yukina had a dream.

In the dream, it was just her and Ephnel.

“Miss Ephnel… um… actually, I… about you…”

What had she even said…

But Yukina knew that she had carefully expressed her important feelings.

As if possessed, she had confessed to Ephnel.

A gentle breeze stirred, lifting Ephnel’s silver hair.

She turned her head, her bottomless gaze meeting Yukina’s.

Yukina waited nervously and expectantly for an answer, only to see Ephnel lower her eyes, a sad and disappointed look on her face…

‘No… not like this…’

A terrible premonition suddenly spread, her heart clenching painfully.

“I’m sorry…”

Ephnel said softly.

“I always thought… we were brother and sister…”

The moment her voice fell, the silver-haired girl and the image of her brother overlapped.

…

“Eek!?”

Yukina was startled awake.

She opened her eyes, the glaring lights stinging them.

A sudden urge to cry made it hard to breathe.

She subconsciously tried to sit up, curling her body, but then she noticed Ephnel’s profile, right beside her.

“Did you have a nightmare…?”

Ephnel looked at Yukina with concern, pursing her lips.

She hesitantly reached out and gently wiped away the tear tracks from Yukina’s eyes with the corner of her sleeve.

Yukina’s eyes widened.

She stared blankly at Ephnel’s actions, feeling the warm, soft touch from Ephnel’s smooth thighs, and her mind went—buzz—and stalled.

The current Ephnel had black hair, her gaze deep, exuding a melancholic and profound aura.

She was a far cry from the vibrant, silver-haired girl who was active on stage, yet she captivated Yukina’s gaze all the same.

—And right now, Yukina was curled up, lying sideways on the bench, her head resting on Ephnel’s lap.

Her cheeks gradually grew hot.

Yukina blinked steadily.

The Ephnel before her, that gaze… slowly overlapped with the girl from her dream.

‘I hate it…’

‘I really hate it.’

Why did she have such a dream…

All this time, the two completely different sets of feelings she had for her brother and for Ephnel were suddenly and forcibly twisted together, like a tangled ball of yarn, impossible to sort out.

She didn’t know what she should do, how she should face these two people who were one and the same.

The oppressive air choked her, and tears began to well up in the corners of her eyes again.

“Yukina, are you alright?”

“I’m fine…”

Yukina pushed Ephnel’s arm away and hurriedly sat up.

Her gaze fell on Ephnel’s thighs.

She was wearing a short skirt and over-the-knee socks, a small section of her beautiful thighs exposed, red from where she had been resting her head.

Even so.

“If you’re not feeling well, just tell me.”

Ephnel’s tone was very gentle, her eyes filled with deep worry and concern for Yukina.

Yukina slightly raised her gaze, looking at the girl before her—Ephnel, Yanase Naoto.

This girl had crudely mashed together two very important, unrelated people in Yukina’s life, and in doing so, had twisted the shape of Yukina’s heart.

The dream resurfaced in her mind, making Yukina feel flustered and annoyed.

Yukina lowered her gaze, not daring to look at Ephnel anymore.

She was afraid that, just like in her dream, she would blurt out all the feelings she had bottled up inside.

She scooted a step to the side, moving out of Ephnel’s reach.

“Why… are you suddenly being so nice to me again…?”

“Yukina…”

“Why…? You’ve always been so cold and distant to me, so why are you suddenly looking at me like that now… You’ve always been so far away, so why are you suddenly pretending to be so gentle with me…”

Yukina’s voice was low, like a feather spiraling down, softly melting into her heart.

The clacking footsteps of passing medical staff lingered in the air.

Ephnel and Yukina fell silent.

“I’m sorry… it’s always been my fault.”

Ephnel spoke softly, her eyes downcast.

Because Yukina wasn’t her biological sister, for various reasons, Ephnel had never been able to properly face the relationship between them.

Ephnel had no right to stand in the position of an older brother and criticize or demand anything of her sister’s life.

She had always intentionally kept her distance.

And after that one time, their relationship had completely gone down a path from which there was no turning back.

Unconsciously, the relationship between Ephnel and Yukina had become ambiguous.

Now, she, who had single-handedly caused this situation, couldn’t complain about anything, because she was the one who had caused it all…

…

The hospital was quiet, to the point of feeling desolate.

The air entering her nostrils was filled with the faint smell of disinfectant.

A faint vibration came from under her feet.

In the descending elevator, there were only Ephnel and Yukina.

They stood one behind the other, far apart.

Ephnel’s gaze was fixed on her phone screen, while Yukina was huddled in a corner.

The deliberate distance between them was more like that of strangers than siblings.

Ephnel silently looked at the mirrored display, which reflected her sister Yukina’s gloomy face.

The light from above poured down, casting the color of Yukina’s hair onto her face.

‘Actually, we could be a little closer.’

But they had always kept a distance between them.

Now, to want to go back to how things were a long time ago, how close would be just right, without being annoying?

Since when had she become unable to even measure the distance between the hearts of her own family?

This was probably all her fault.

Because she couldn’t understand her own heart, she stood at a crossroads, unable to move forward.

Or rather, she had chosen a path with no end, and in the end, the one she had hurt was the person who was waiting for her.

…

Yukina caught Ephnel’s shadow in the corner of her eye.

She clenched her fists.

The air was heavy.

After she had calmed down, she suddenly felt a sense of confusion.

Just now…

She had carelessly said such things…

But why couldn’t she control her emotions?

Was it because she was influenced by the emotions in her dream, or because she had used the courage from the dream’s confession to “confess” all at once?

Yukina herself couldn’t tell the reason.

It was only after she had calmed down that Yukina belatedly realized how cruel her words had been.

Ephnel, or rather—her brother, Yanase Naoto, had always been protecting her from a place she couldn’t see, fighting for Yukina and this city in her own way.

She faced the danger of death every day, but even so, she would always bravely step forward, never giving up.

Whether as the strongest Agent, “Ephnel,” or as the city’s spiritual pillar, “Magical Girl Ephnel,” she was constantly striving.

And in return, she had said such heartless words to her.

The unforgivable one was herself.

Yukina bit her lip.

…