Chapter 15: A Distance That Won’t Hold

Even after looking again and again, there was a blue butterfly etched on his side. There was no way he could have gotten a tattoo while he was asleep, and thinking it might be just a drawing, he scrubbed the area hard—but instead of fading, the skin only turned red and swollen.

“W-what is this?”

No matter how he thought about it, the mark seemed to have appeared after he absorbed that strange light. The uneasy feeling left him slightly irritated.

But only for a moment, surprisingly, the blue butterfly on his body didn’t look tacky at all. He had once wanted to get a tattoo, but gave up out of fear, so he decided to accept it positively.

Kebel dismissed Bill and moved closer to the mirror. The pattern, now clearer, gave off a strange, subtle feeling. It felt oddly familiar, like he had seen it somewhere before. Even though that made no sense, the sensation lingered. Letting out a dry chuckle, he muttered,

“No way. What a ridiculous thought.”

Shaking his head, Kebel took off his pants. His smooth, well-toned body, unusual for a boy, was revealed as he stepped into the bathtub filled with water.

****

After that, Kebel began to distance himself from Oush. He no longer treated him warmly, and anyone could see that the two had grown apart.

In the scorching heat of midsummer, Kebel was invited to a reading gathering. Fourteen years old, he could no longer avoid social events forever.

The gathering was hosted by a young noble of the Alavia family. If it had been a card game or something rougher, he wouldn’t have gone, but the word “reading” gave it a wholesome feel, so he decided to attend.

“Young Duke, are you listening?”

“Yes, I am. Where were we?”

“I was asking if you’d consider attending our gathering regularly.”

Despite being addressed, Kebel couldn’t focus on what people were saying. He had been told Osh wouldn’t be attending, so why was he sitting right across from him?

It was clearly intentional. Letting out a dry sigh, Kebel closed the book he had been reading.

The heavy sound drew everyone’s attention. Though unintentional, Kebel smiled faintly and shrugged lightly.

“It’s nothing. And Dillis, I don’t think this gathering suits me.”

“What? Suddenly? Why? Just a moment ago, you were-”

“I just don’t like it anymore.”

His tone was firm, completely devoid of warmth. Kebel felt like stuffing a piece of bread into Dillis’s mouth, who had been chattering nonstop beside him. How could a kid talk so much? One of his ears was starting to hurt.

“Please reconsider, Young Duke.”

“No, I won’t.”

With a cold, decisive tone that left no room for persuasion, Kebel stood up. Among the persistent gazes following him, only one person wasn’t looking at him.

Osh Sulleban.

Just like when they first met, he stared blankly at the table, his face devoid of emotion. His pale complexion contrasted sharply with his delicate features, and the shadow cast by his long eyelashes rested beneath his eyes.

It was just a shadow, yet it made him look strangely cold, almost eerie.

Kebel tore his gaze away. He couldn’t keep looking at him, though it was hard to pull his eyes away. Even so, he felt a pang of sadness noticing how much thinner Osh seemed.

He had decided not to care about Osh anymore. Yet he kept instinctively checking his reactions, his mood. He knew he didn’t need to, but his body and mind still moved toward him out of habit.

Picking up the book he had brought, Kebel thought he might at least make a good friend here. But perhaps because they were still young, none of them appealed to him.

Or maybe age was just an excuse. After all, no one could replace Osh to begin with.

“I’ll take my leave first.”

With that, Kebel left.

Footsteps followed behind him, it was Ida. The weather was unusually pleasant today, and it felt a waste to go home so soon. Turning back, Kebel looked at her.

“The weather’s nice. What do you usually do on days like this?”

“…I train.”

“Ah…”

Kebel nodded blandly and turned forward again, continuing to walk. It felt like he had asked the wrong person. Training on a day like this? Even he thought that was too rigid.

“…Haa…”

For some reason, he didn’t want to go home early. With a lingering sense of reluctance, he pouted slightly, scrunching his nose.

“I don’t feel like going back just yet…”

As he muttered to himself, a familiar warmth touched his wrist. At the same time, his heart began pounding as if a switch had been flipped.

“Kebel.”

“…”

A hurried yet gentle voice called his name. Why was he holding his wrist? Ida had been right behind him… but the confusion quickly faded.

After all, Kebel had told Osh not to place any restrictions on their interactions.

Why had he done that? That would only make things match the original story.

Swallowing dryly, Kebel took a deep breath. He didn’t want to turn around, biting his lower lip instead. As if sensing his hesitation, Osh spoke again.

“May I talk with you for a moment…?”

In the end, Kebel nodded and turned around, wiping away his expression. Even he thought his face looked cold as he faced Osh. At that, Osh’s eyes trembled like reeds in the wind, quickly filling with moisture as if tears might spill at any moment.

The look, like someone betrayed by someone they trusted, made Kebel’s chest ache like a sinner’s.

“…It’s been a while.”

“…Yes. It has.”

“But Osh, don’t just grab me like that anywhere anymore.”

“…”

It sounded ridiculous even to himself. After all, he had always held Osh’s hand without hesitation. He suppressed a laugh and stared straight at him.

Osh’s eyelids trembled slightly. A shadow fell over his face in an instant, like a dead fish floating to the surface.

“I’m sorry.”

Yet he didn’t let go. If anything, his grip tightened.

For someone who looked like he only held pens and studied, his strength was surprising, Kebel’s wrist began to ache. He grabbed Osh’s hand with his other hand and mouthed “It hurts,” only then did Osh release him.

Feeling it wasn’t appropriate to show this in front of Ida, Kebel sent her ahead to the carriage. Thankfully, there were no servants passing by, otherwise, their actions would surely become gossip.

With a long sigh, Kebel asked,

“What did you want to say?”

“…Did you start to dislike me?”

The word “dislike” seemed oddly emphasized. His voice trembled faintly at the end, barely noticeable unless one listened closely. Though his face didn’t show it, there was a dampness in his tone. Kebel clenched his hand tightly.

His lips still pressed in a straight line, Osh asked again, with a small flicker of hope in his eyes.

“Then… could you at least tell me why?”

Osh looked at him calmly, almost dryly, but his gaze was intense, as if trying to read Kebel’s thoughts. Facing those darker eyes, Kebel felt like his mind would be exposed, and instinctively looked away.

A sudden chill crept over him. It felt like something coiled around him like a snake. Was he just being too sensitive lately? Why did he feel such a spine-tingling shiver? Goosebumps rose on his arms, and he slowly rubbed them down.

“Why don’t you look at me like before?”

“…Huh?”

Kebel looked up. It was an impulsive reaction, but suddenly he felt frozen, unable to break eye contact. He blinked blankly like a fool as Osh stepped closer.

Then he smiled softly, his eyes curving gently.

“You used to smile at me like this when you saw me.”

“W-wait, if you come that close-!”

“So what if I come closer?”

His voice seemed to carry an expression of its own, smooth, almost teasing. Words wouldn’t come out, like his mouth was full of honey. Watching him, Osh pressed on, persistence dripping from his gaze.

“Tell me, Kebel.”

With a strangely sticky feeling, Osh brushed Kebel’s hair behind his ear. In the time they hadn’t seen each other, something about him had changed. He was still Osh, yet not quite. It was hard to describe, something like that phase people go through at this age.

Unaware of Kebel’s thoughts, he continued in a playful tone,

“I thought it might tickle if it got in your face because of the wind. This much touch is okay, right?”

“…”

“Then why are you looking at me like that…?”

“Are you going through puberty or something?”, the words nearly slipped out, but Kebel held them back. Even if that were the case, there was nothing he could do. So, pretending not to notice, he asked him instead.