Chapter 17: The Place It Truly Hurts

Thump, thump.

With the loud sound of hurried footsteps, Kebel’s heart began to race chaotically. Just as his fingertips grew damp with sweat, Ida hurried up behind him. As if she had expected him to come out, she was already holding an umbrella. She held one out to him.

“I thought you might need it.”

“…Thank you.”

With a short reply, Kebel took the umbrella. Then he strode forward again, gradually picking up speed until he broke into a run. Why was the castle so huge? Today, of all days, it felt especially vast, and curses slipped from his lips without him realizing.

The more anxious he became, the drier his mouth felt. Just as his throat tightened uncomfortably, he reached the entrance and pushed the door open. The rain was pouring down even harder than before, as if the sky itself had torn open.

From the look of it, the rain wouldn’t stop anytime soon. The thought that Osh might still be out there in this downpour made Kebel’s heart drop.

“I’ll go alone from here.”

Kebel shook his head and stopped Ida, who was holding the umbrella over him. At his words, she gave a small nod, closed the umbrella, and stepped back. Still tense, Kebel opened the umbrella she had given him, took a deep breath, and exhaled.

Then he headed straight toward the castle gates where Osh was standing. The rain was so heavy that everything ahead looked blurred, like it was covered in mist. And in that haze, he saw a figure that hadn’t moved at all.

A surge of anger rose in his chest.

Gripping the umbrella handle tightly enough to break it, Kebel called out coldly,

“…Osh.”

At the sound of his name, Osh slowly lifted his head and looked at him. His already pale face looked even more drained against his rain-soaked red hair, and his soft pink lips had turned almost colorless. On top of that, he looked thinner, as if he hadn’t been eating properly.

Anyone could see he had grown gaunt.

A sharp pain twisted in Kebel’s chest.

Raindrops slid endlessly down Osh’s sharp jawline. They were only drops of water, yet somehow it felt like he was crying.

Without thinking, Kebel raised the umbrella over Osh’s head. He had intended to just hand him a towel and coldly tell him to leave, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He bit down on his lower lip.

“Kebel…”

Osh’s weak voice came out softly, his eyes damp. His lifeless gaze couldn’t seem to focus on anything, and the droop of his eyes, the moisture clinging to his long lashes, it all tore at Kebel’s chest.

‘You foolish Osh. Why would you go this far…?’

Kebel wanted to scold him, to say something, anything, but Osh looked too fragile. In the end, he swallowed all his words and simply wiped his face with the towel in silence.

Even that was hard, his hands trembled, and it felt like tears would spill out at any moment. Biting his lip harder, Kebel forced himself to hold them back.

“Kebel…”

“…”

“It’s all… my fault.”

Osh’s voice, pitiful and trembling, slipped out. Though it was nearly drowned out by the rain, Kebel heard it clearly.

‘I was wrong.’

Osh, who had done nothing wrong, stood there like a guilty man. Guilt surged through Kebel.

His chest tightened as if everything he had been holding back would burst out. So instead, he gripped the towel harder and kept wiping Osh’s face in silence.

“I won’t… be greedy anymore.”

“…”

“I won’t expect anything, so please…”

Finally, in a voice thick with tears, Osh said,

“…don’t push me away.”

A drop slid down from beneath his eye and fell. Whether it was rain or tears, Kebel couldn’t tell. It soaked into the towel.

That single drop felt like molten lava.

Kebel stopped wiping and looked at him, shaken.

“Don’t push me away.”

Those were the same words Osh had said to him when he was eleven.

But now, they felt completely different, heavier.

Too heavy.

Kebel couldn’t say anything. His tongue felt stiff, frozen. All he could do was look at him.

Seeing Kebel’s troubled expression, Osh gave a faint smile, as if he had already received an answer, and slowly nodded.

“I didn’t mean to make things difficult… I just wanted to talk to you one last time. So… don’t look at me like that, Kebel.”

His damp hand reached up and touched Kebel’s cheek. Cold as ice, it pressed lightly against his skin before gently brushing down.

As if this moment were the last, Osh took in Kebel’s face slowly… then let his smile fade.

“Thank you… for everything.”

His hand dropped weakly.

And when he tried to remove Kebel’s hand from his face…

Kebel suddenly grabbed Osh’s wrist tightly.

It happened in an instant, but Kebel saw it clearly.

Osh’s wrist was thin, painfully thin, but more than that, beneath his soaked clothes were faint cuts and dark bruises.

“…What is this?”

“…Ah. It’s nothing.”

Unlike Kebel’s angry voice, Osh’s tone was completely dry, as if he were commenting on the weather. He pulled his wrist free.

“…Don’t tell me… the Count did this to you?”

“…No.”

“Don’t lie!”

Kebel finally snapped.

He threw the umbrella aside and grabbed Osh’s wrist again, rolling up his sleeve. As he pushed it higher, bruises of different colors came into view.

Rain blurred his vision, but Kebel wiped his eyes roughly with the back of his hand and looked again.

No matter how many times he looked, these weren’t accidents.

They were deliberate.

Some bruises were fading yellow, others fresh and dark.

“…Tell me the truth. This didn’t happen just once, did it?”

His teeth clenched as he spoke.

He had never been this angry in front of Osh before, but now, the anger only kept rising.

In the end, Kebel shoved him against the wall and roughly pulled at his cravat. The neatly fastened buttons felt suffocating.

Wet from the rain, they wouldn’t come undone easily.

So Kebel tore them open.

Like a beast.

Startled, Osh’s eyes widened.

“K-Kebel?”

“Stay still.”

Beneath the torn fabric, his body was covered in marks, fresh wounds and old scars alike.

The rain washed over them endlessly.

‘What if… this was because of me?’

Kebel knew the Count’s ambitions from the original story.

A chill ran down his spine. Nausea rose in his throat.

“…ugh-”

He staggered back, covering his mouth.

How could anyone… do something like this… to someone so beautiful?

His teeth ground together. His fists trembled violently.

But he forced himself to calm down.

The one who had suffered most… was Osh.

“…Osh.”

Even as he tried to steady himself, his voice trembled. Osh looked at him with concern.

At least the rain hid his tears.

Kebel bit his lower lip again, unable to continue.

In that silence, Osh quietly straightened his clothes. He picked up the fallen umbrella and stepped closer, holding it over Kebel instead.

The rain stopped falling on Kebel.

Osh bent slightly, looking up at him.

“…Why are you crying?”

“…”

“Are you worried I was hurt? If that’s it, you don’t have to be. It didn’t hurt at all.”

He gently wiped at Kebel’s eyes with his thumb and smiled softly.

Then he pointed to his chest and whispered,

“The thing that really hurt… was here. Every time you tried to push me away… that’s when it hurt the most.”