Chapter 31 Part 1: Denial

Xie Yan stayed in the cold shower for half an hour before coming out of the bathroom.

It was autumn now, and wind blew in through the window, cool against his skin, a bit cold, making his thoughts clearer.

He wasn’t wearing a shirt, just a pair of sweatpants.

He sat down by the small sofa, his gaze fixed on Lin Chuji, who was lying in his bed.

The other was wrapped in his blanket, covered in his scent from head to toe, only a bit of fluffy hair visible, eyes closed, as if the passion from moments ago had nothing to do with him, having fallen asleep so innocently.

“Really.

Every time, you tease and run.”

Xie Yan sighed helplessly.

He could clearly sense that the moment Lin Chuji’s lips had approached him, his body had made the decision before his mind.

At least at that moment, he hadn’t rejected Lin Chuji as a same-s*x partner.

Would a straight guy do that?

For the first time, he felt a tremendous doubt.

Xie Yan grabbed his hair in frustration.

He wanted to ask someone, but everyone around him was straight, and he didn’t know who to ask.

It must be that Lin Chuji was just too good-looking, and in that instant, it had blurred the lines of gender, causing such an unguarded reaction.

He convinced himself, bent down, and carried Lin Chuji back to his own bed.

Then he sat back in front of the computer and reopened the photos he had taken of Lin Chuji, starting to edit them meticulously.

At seven in the morning, after finishing the edits, he posted a nine-grid set on Weibo.

The caption was just two words: “Fantasy.”

Even at this ungodly hour, the comments were buzzing because of the stunning set of photos.

[Boss Xie hasn’t updated for almost a month, and then he drops this bombshell!]

[Aaaaah drool drool drool, can you tag the client?

I want to call them wifey!]

[Can we see the face?

Can we see the face?

My imagination is already activated.]

[This lace mask is so sexy.

It doesn’t feel like a client shoot, more like a couple’s kinky play.]

Xie Yan replied: Not a client.

This is my exclusive model.

[Damn!!!

Sisters, savor this!

My!!

Exclusive!!

I’m shipping it!]

[Boss Xie, you’ve been eating so well and keeping it hidden?]

[What’s the English word on the neck?

Is it Boss Xie’s English name?]

[They actually tattooed Boss Xie’s name?

That possessiveness is too strong.

Okay, okay, we’re just talking.

We won’t fight you for him.]

[Aaaaah, she’s your wife, right?

You finally decided to show her off.]

[Seven in the morning.

Why aren’t you hugging your wife and sleeping instead of posting pictures?]

[It’s definitely after a satisfying night, and now you’re secretly trying to show off.

Got it.]

[No, no, no, he’s definitely still chasing her, hasn’t gotten her yet.

Look at the caption—Fantasy.

Of course, it’s a sexual fantasy.]

Xie Yan’s face flushed and his heart raced at the comments.

He was relieved Lin Chuji’s face wasn’t shown.

But he still didn’t understand.

He had posted so many photos before, of both men and women, some of whom were objectively attractive by popular standards, and no one had ever joked like this.

Why did this set stand out?

Xie Yan replied: Not my wife.

We’re both guys.

Don’t spread rumors.

[A guy?

That makes it even better to ship!]

[I knew your aesthetic was too good, you had to be gay.]

[Love shows through the lens.

It really is different.]

[Yeah, the technique is so much more delicate.

At least with clients, you never get this close, holding hands like that.]

Xie Yan went back to look at the photos.

Love?

He had love for Lin Chuji?

Where did they see that?

Are they blind?

From the forum to Weibo, different groups, but the same rumors.

At this moment, Xie Yan was truly questioning his life.

He got up, opened the cabinet beside him, and his gaze fell on the book 100 Little Tricks to Turn a Straight Guy.

He carefully pulled it out and flipped it open.

Just a random flip, and he saw a bolded, underlined line.

“When the time is ripe, you can start to reveal your physical charm.

Such as alluring shoulders, beautiful lips, a sexy waistline.

If the other person shows no resistance to these displays and has an inappropriate reaction, congratulations, you are already ninety-nine percent successful.”

Lin Chuji must have seen this line, which was why he had pulled down his sweater to reveal his shoulder, and why he had been so passionate every night, pressing skin to skin, offering himself up.

He was truly implementing these hundred little tricks to the letter.

…But ninety-nine percent.

Xie Yan’s mind exploded.

Impossible.

He must be the one percent exception.

This crappy book, who knows what nonsense it’s teaching.

He shoved it back in hard and sat back down heavily in his chair.

There was a rustling sound behind him.

Xie Yan turned his head and met Lin Chuji’s dazed eyes.

“What are you doing sitting there?”

Lin Chuji asked, confused.

“I’m contemplating life,” Xie Yan said, looking despairing.

Lin Chuji was confused.

He thought for a moment and guessed softly, “Did you have a nightmare and can’t sleep?”

Xie Yan stared into his eyes, wanting to say something but holding back.

“Worse than a nightmare.”

I can’t exactly say that because of your deliberate seduction last night, I’ve discovered my sexual orientation might be a bit off.

Lin Chuji thought he had had a nightmare too.

His sleep quality had been particularly bad lately.

Ever since running into Qin Yi, he had the same dream almost every night, his heart pounding terribly.

If this continued, he would probably need to see a doctor and get some sleeping pills.

He flipped out of bed, his gaze falling on the computer screen, and asked again, “So you got up to edit photos?”

Xie Yan nodded mechanically.

“Yes.

Already posted them.”

“Let me see.”

Lin Chuji reached out to him, a bit nervous too.

“Let me see the comments.”

Xie Yan held onto his phone, thinking that most of the comments weren’t fit to read.

He gritted his teeth, scrolled the screen, trying to pick.

“I’ll read them to you.

Go brush your teeth.”

“Okay, read them,” Lin Chuji said, thinking he was acting a bit strange, but didn’t overthink it.

He rubbed his messy hair, stood by the sink, and slowly squeezed out toothpaste.

Xie Yan looked at the sea of suggestive comments and didn’t know which one to pick.

Forced to make things up, he said, “They’re praising me for taking great photos, saying the model has great presence, the atmosphere is strong.

That sort of thing.

And I gained quite a few followers.”

“Then it’s working.

When’s the next time?”

Lin Chuji asked, looking at him in the mirror.

Next time.

There’s a next time.

He’s so proactive. Xie Yan’s fingers traced the edge of his phone.

He thought for a few seconds.

“In a few days.

Let this one simmer first.

Too frequent and it’ll lose its impact.”

Lin Chuji nodded.

Looking in the mirror, he noticed the band-aid had fallen off, revealing the marker mark again.

It was a bit hard to bring up.

But Xie Yan asked first, pointing at his own neck.

“This… still not going to wash it off?”

Lin Chuji opened his mouth.

He couldn’t very well say he’d nearly scrubbed a layer of skin off last night and it still wouldn’t come off.

Flustered, he said, “Because I think it looks good, so I left it.

Doesn’t it look like a tattoo?”

Xie Yan paused.

“You’re not washing it off?”

Lin Chuji steeled himself.

“I’ll leave it.

Let it fade on its own.”

He likes the mark I left that much?

Xie Yan really started to feel guilty.

Lin Chuji couldn’t tell it was the pinyin of his name, but Shen Yinan and the others would recognize it instantly.

When he was younger, he had thought his name was especially troublesome to write, with all those strokes, so for a long time, on textbook covers, notebook covers, everywhere a name was needed, he had written XIE YAN.

If Lin Chuji went to class flaunting that, he’d never be able to explain it, even with eight hundred mouths.

Xie Yan didn’t know how to convince him.

Lin Chuji saw his hesitant expression, afraid he might find out.

“You don’t like it?”

Xie Yan paced around the room a few times before finally finding a reason.

“No, if you do that, won’t everyone recognize you as the model?”

To bolster his claim, he added, “And you can’t wear that white sweater again.

From now on, I’ll buy you clothes for the shoots.”

Lin Chuji spat out the foam.

“…Right.”

What to do, what to do?

I can’t tell him the truth—that it’s actually too stubborn to wash off.

That would be too embarrassing.

I can’t say that.

He said dryly, “Then I’ll cover it with a band-aid when I’m outside.

When I’m back in the dorm, I can take it off and admire it myself.”

As he spoke, he quickly rinsed his mouth, wiped his face hastily, and went to change clothes.

“I have an early class.

I’m going.”

Before leaving, he passed by the wardrobe, and when he opened it to get a band-aid, he caught sight of the books inside out of the corner of his eye.

Feeling very guilty, he grabbed them all and stuffed them into his backpack.

If Xie Yan found them, he really wouldn’t be able to stay in this dorm.

Even his back seemed to spell out “guilty conscience.”

Xie Yan watched him flee in a panic, standing there thoughtfully.

He likes my name so much that he’d rather wear a band-aid to keep it.

“He really likes me too much,” Xie Yan muttered to himself.

***

Lin Chuji sat in the lecture hall again with that band-aid on.

The architecture department’s freshman schedule was packed—so full that he could only grab a quick bite at lunch and get a coffee to keep going in the afternoon.

He was dozing off when he received a message from Qin Yi.

[Q]: Don’t you have social anxiety?

[Q]: Why are you clinging to Xie Yan all the time?

[lark]: I don’t understand what you’re talking about.

Lin Chuji looked around.

He was sitting in the last row, where he could clearly see every face that came in.

There was no familiar face.

This person was really strange.

He hadn’t been like this when they were kids—he used to be a gentle, warm big brother.

Now even his words carried an unsettling tone.

[Q]: You hugged him last night.

[Q]: Your mom said before that you shouldn’t play with boys.

Have you forgotten?

[lark]: When did I hug him?

[lark]: Don’t make things up.

[Q]: You won’t admit it.

Lin Chuji’s chest heaved.

He felt that Qin Yi had a kind of restrained madness.

If Lin Chuji hadn’t been aware of Xie Yan’s sleepwalking the first two times, how would Qin Yi know?

Suddenly, he felt a chill run down his spine.

[lark]: Brother Qin Yi, if you keep saying these bizarre things, then we shouldn’t see each other anymore.

[Q]: Are you afraid of me?

[Q]: After you moved, I wanted to come find you, but your mom wouldn’t let me.

[Q]: I waited a long time, until you graduated, to finally see you again.

Lin Chuji really had the urge to block him.

When they first reunited, he had seemed just like before.

It was only after that dinner at his house that he suddenly changed.

How?

[lark]: I’m in class.

[Q]: Okay.

I won’t bother you.

[Q]: Don’t hug Xie Yan anymore.

It makes me unhappy.

Lin Chuji thought, You really are sick.

When did I hug him?

He propped his chin on his hand and stared expressionlessly at the blackboard, not replying.

His phone vibrated again.

He clicked his tongue in annoyance, opened it, and found it was from someone else.

His expression softened.

[Crab Boss]: Want to have dinner together tonight?

I’m meeting some seniors.

[lark]: I’d better not.

I don’t know them.

[Crab Boss]: You’ve heard of them.

[lark]: Who?

[Crab Boss]: Graduate student Su Lian from the medical school, and his boyfriend Chi Wang.

Lin Chuji’s first thought was: Forum CP number one.

Very memorable.

But if number one and number three appeared at the same restaurant, it would definitely cause talk.

He was already on edge.

[lark]: Never mind…

You go ahead.

I’ll order takeout back at the dorm.

[Crab Boss]: Okay.

Mist City Hotpot at the back gate.

If you change your mind, we’re meeting at seven tonight.

Hotpot!

Hotpot!

Just seeing those two words made Lin Chuji salivate.

A socially anxious person would never go out alone for steaming hotpot.

He had never had friends to go with before, never had the chance to enjoy it outside.

He really craved it.

Instantly tempted, he wanted to go.

Even if it meant sitting at a table with strangers, he really wanted to go.

Besides, Xie Yan would be there, and he would make sure he wasn’t left out.

[lark]: …Can we book a private room?

I can do it.

[Crab Boss]: Okay.

Private room.

[Crab Boss]: So demanding, Princess and the Pea.

Somehow, just seeing those few words, Lin Chuji could imagine Xie Yan’s tone—teasing, with a hint of laughter, that upward lilt at the end.

He’s laughing at me again.

Haven’t you ever seen someone who’s never had hotpot outside?

Lin Chuji thought indignantly.

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