Chapter 1: Really Funny, I’m Not the Main Character

Shouldn’t the main character of a story always be woken up by a beautiful girl?

Early in the morning, the lazy sunlight had just cast its first rays of dawn.

Aikawa Yoji was curled up in his warm bedding, catching butterflies in his dreams alongside Zhuangzi.

Surrounded by a romantic ocean of colorful flowers, a vibrant rainbow hung across the azure sky.

He and Miss Zhuangzi held hands, laughing, singing, and dancing together.

Wait, why did Zhuangzi become a lady?

Forget it, it wasn’t important; to sum it up, it was a land of pure light.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted something, and seizing the opportunity, Aikawa Yoji pounced toward a butterfly with rose petal wings!

Yet, he ended up shattering all that beauty.

“Aikawa! It’s time to get up, Aikawa!!!”

Aikawa Yoji opened his eyes and blurrily saw a white ceiling.

“Oh, that damned woman, she’s really as terrible as the cream pie made by Springfield’s wife next door! Can you not buzz like a fly around a trash can first thing in the morning!”

Aikawa Yoji painfully lifted his pillow and used the soft fabric to cover his head.

Only through a heavy sense of suffocation could he block out the shouting from outside the window.

Damn it! Does she really not know that making noise early in the morning is a public nuisance!

You’re going to kill those people who just came home from night shifts!

Those college students who stay up until one, two, or three in the morning playing on their phones and desperately try to steal a few extra minutes of sleep in the morning are going to die!

Yoji managed to cover his head with the blanket, causing the shouting to fade until it disappeared.

The suffocating feeling in his brain grew stronger, and his tightly gripping hand slowly released a corner of the pillow.

He sank into a coma… wait, no, he fell back into a deep sleep.

But this time, instead of a field of flowers, he strangely appeared on a dark, gloomy riverbank giving off black gas.

He stood on one side, and Miss Zhuangzi stood on the other.

Like nostalgia, a traveler waving from afar toward home.

“Come back quickly, Luoxiao.”

“I’m coming! I’m coming, Miss Zhuang!”

“Hee-hee-hee.”

…

…

The main character would always have the thoughtful service of a beautiful girl calling them out of bed, right?

Downstairs, a bright and radiant girl boasted a head of golden hair.

She was calling out the name Aikawa, but the Aikawa in her mouth wasn’t Yoji, but his younger sister, Aikawa Ritsuki.

The adopted daughter of the Aikawa family.

At three years old, she lost her family to a monster tide and became an orphan, wandering homeless for a year before finally being picked up by Aikawa Zo, who brought her home to be the Aikawa family’s adopted daughter.

She became his younger sister.

Similarly! She was also the protagonist of this garbage light novel world with a long and terrible title, “Is There a Problem with Me Opening a Harem on Campus While Bearing the Dragon God’s Consciousness”!

──Well, probably.

And what about Aikawa Yoji? He was just an utterly ordinary transmigrator who didn’t deserve the luxury of a beautiful girl waking him up.

He became the villain in this garbage novel.

──Well, probably.

Why “probably”? Explaining it required dragging things back to his memories of being possessed by a god of slaughter at age five.

At that time, Aikawa Yoji decided to kill the protagonist ahead of schedule before the world’s consciousness could act, all to preserve his own life as a villain!

He had no basic human moral compass whatsoever; he just wanted to live! What did he do wrong?

Yet Yoji discovered that this protagonist seemed different from the one he had read about!

Aikawa Ritsuki! The true stud male lead, the king of power fantasies, the real man who had scored with every member of his harem, the handsome boy who slapped impotent male leads in the face!

──His little Ritsuki was gone.

This was a vulgar truth.

First off, let it be known that Aikawa Yoji—Luoxiao—was not a pervert. Let it be declared once more, he was not a pervert. Anyway, not being a pervert, he carefully observed little Ritsuki.

But it was truly gone; his younger brother had turned into a younger sister.

This completely shattered all of Aikawa Yoji’s plans.

He once again doubted his transmigration and the truth of this world! Perhaps it was different from his memories.

He had choked his damned younger brother, but ultimately spared his cute younger sister.

He re-examined this world.

During the subsequent years of growing up, due to certain unexpected events, and to safeguard his own fragmented information, Aikawa Yoji chose to play the role of a bad older brother.

He didn’t want to lose his parents in this life, so he probed for information with extreme caution.

He had to wait for the progression of time, pushing until the story officially began when the protagonist went to high school, just to see.

Whether the story in his memory was right or wrong.

Yet, after spending over a decade living alongside little Ritsuki, he discovered…

──You don’t even have the gear anymore! Why are you still hitting on women?!

…

…

“Brother, brother, it’s time to get up, brother.”

Aikawa Yoji was wandering on a bridge, and he saw an old woman sitting beside it, gesturing for him to come over to give him a bowl of soup.

But where was Miss Zhuangzi? Where was the Miss Zhuangzi that Aikawa Yoji liked? Hadn’t he just seen her?

In the murky gray dreamland, Yoji couldn’t find that woman.

“Brother! You really need to get up! Otherwise, you’ll be late for today’s opening ceremony! Brother!”

Oh, where was Miss Zhuangzi!

Finally, among rows of dim and blurry pedestrians, Aikawa Yoji spotted that beautiful girl! His heart trembled, and he wanted to chase after her to catch butterflies again.

However, he was stopped by the old woman, who pointed at the soup in her hands that was bubbling with green gas.

Was he supposed to drink it to cross over safely?

Then he’d drink it! He’d drink a huge bowl!

Aikawa Yoji pushed away the old woman’s bowl, and under her astonished gaze, he directly lifted the whole pot! He prepared to drink three thousand cups!

Gulp…

Yet, a second before he swallowed the liquid, a dragon claw slashed through the sky and yanked him out of the chaos.

“Get up already! Onii-chan!!”

“Yes, yes, yes! I’m awake!”

Aikawa Yoji instantly bounced up from the bed, his eyes wide open as if he had just engaged in intense exercise, panting heavily on the mattress.

“Brother?! Are you okay, brother?!”

Turning his head, he saw a black-haired beauty looking as if she had been drawn with fine brush strokes, lonely and exquisite like the moonlight.

Right now, she was wearing a brand-new, handsome blue-and-black school uniform paired with a red bowtie. Her small mouth was slightly open, and her delicate brows were slightly furrowed in worry: “Are you sick, brother? If you’re sick, do you need Ritsuki to ask for leave for you?”

“Ritsuki-chan, can we please ignore this bastard! Oversleeping early in the morning is one thing, but what kind of gibberish was he spewing? Chinese? How can a useless piece of trash like you speak Chinese?”

Shifting his gaze, he saw Springfield’s wife’s cream pie… wait, no, it was another neighbor’s girl, Miyatsubaki Keiko, Ritsuki’s childhood friend.

She had a head of bright, dazzling golden hair like the sun, delicate features as cute as a doll’s, and an arrogant chest! It practically belonged on Mount Everest!

And that… look in her eyes that viewed him like a cockroach.

“What are you looking at, you pervert! Scumbag! Trash! Believe it or not, I’ll gouge your eyes out!”

Aikawa Yoji hurriedly averted his gaze.

His heart was filled with excitement… wait, no, pain.

Dammit! It’s not like I wanted to look! But that thing is just too eye-catching! It must have magnets attached to it, right?!

Aikawa Yoji kept his eyes away, maintaining his persona without uttering a single apology.

──He was cold and cool.

However, in that brief moment, the black-haired beauty Ritsuki-chan tilted her head up and glared fiercely at Keiko from below! Her crimson eyes revealed a glacial aura that flattened the mountain peaks.

She seemed to be warning her with a look.

──I don’t want to hear another word belittling my brother!

Miyatsubaki Keiko bit her lip aggrievedly.

“Brother, are you sick?!”

Regardless of what the blonde girl was thinking, Aikawa Ritsuki reached out and held Yoji’s hands as he dazed off.

This icy-cool sensation brought Aikawa Yoji back to his senses, and putting on a cold face, he slapped her hands away with extreme disgust.

“Sick?! Ha?! You’re the one who’s sick, Aikawa Ritsuki! Is this how you curse your brother?! I’m really laughing. Can an evil woman like you please roll smoothly out of my room, or I swear I’ll kick your butt with my shoe.”

“No, I didn’t mean that, brother. I was just… just worried about you.”

“Haha, does the great Aikawa Yoji really need your worry?! Aikawa Ritsuki, I’m warning you, don’t think that just because you awakened an S-rank talent, you can wave your pigtails in my face!”

“I… I haven’t.” Aikawa Ritsuki’s small face turned pale, her trembling body looking like a pitiful hamster.

Miyatsubaki Keiko opened her mouth to scold him! But her words got stuck in her throat.

Aikawa Yoji gave a cold snort: “Good thing you don’t have the guts. Get out!”

“Brother, I… I…”

“I what, I! I need to get up and change my clothes. Are you planning to stay and watch me change?!”

The villainous brother showed no mercy, grabbing the alarm clock on the nightstand, putting it down.

Then he grabbed the pillow beside him again and slammed it heavily onto Aikawa Ritsuki’s head.

“I’m… I’m sorry, brother! I’m sorry, I’ll get out right away!”

Flushes instantly washed over her pale little face, and her trembling body scrambled up as she stumbled out the bedroom door.

Then, realizing something, she backed into the room and dragged Miyatsubaki Keiko out by the hand as well.

“I… I’ll wait for you at the main gate! Onii-chan.”

“…”

Having driven the two useless brats out of the room, Yoji wasn’t actually in a rush to change.

He closed his eyes, and after indeed sensing their figures moving away from the room…

He looked thoughtfully at the alarm clock on the nightstand.

With a snap of his fingers, the drawer of the nightstand opened by itself! From the bottom of the drawer, an old notebook floated up in front of him as if possessed by a soul.

Opening it, it was covered in unintelligible, messy symbols. Yoji extended his right index finger, and a puff of flame ignited out of thin air, pressing against a corner of the notebook.

“Boom!”

The small flame instantly flared into a terrifying fire, extinguishing after several rolls, burning the notebook into a brand-new black journal.

“Death Note”!

Opening the first page of the notebook, Aikawa Yoji’s name was plainly written there!

“!!!”

Yoji flipped through many pages in succession. In reality, it was just an ordinary notebook inscribed with high-level concealment runes, and written inside were…

──The story plot and character roster of “Is There a Problem with Me Opening a Harem on Campus While Bearing the Dragon God’s Consciousness”.

As time passed, Yoji realized that his memories from before transmigrating were growing weaker. To ensure he wouldn’t forget one of the possibilities that formed this current world, he had written down every story detail he could remember into this journal early on.

Flipping through the pages, he finally stopped at the last few pages.

September 13th, Chapter 1 of the novel! The true beginning of this story.

“I… didn’t misremember. It is today, so why…”

Yoji looked back at the alarm clock and the blacked-out phone placed at his bedside, his expression turning increasingly solemn.

“Why didn’t I wake up on such an important day?”

“And why did I have that kind of dream? The alarm clock conveniently broke, and the phone alarm didn’t ring either…”

“…Who the hell unplugged my charging cable!!”

“Wait, the screen? Why is the screen cracked? My precious phone!!!”

📚 Also on NHV Novels

Reborn as the Villain’s Loyal Dog, Trapped in a Never-Ending Shura Field

Book TransmigrationModernsystem

Read Now →
Not interested