Chapter 1: Chosen at the End of the Stars

Have you ever lived in a world of stars.
A place called the entertainment industry, where glittering people gathered.
Shim Eun-chan had once been one of them.
Calling himself a member felt embarrassing, and even that could only be spoken of in the past now.

“……Ha.”

The long breath he exhaled melted into the freezing night air of January.
Today was January 1st.
Exactly nine years ago today was the day Shim Eun-chan debuted as a member of the six-member idol group called B the 1.

He inhaled the unfamiliar, salty air once more.
After taking the first train down at dawn, he had stared at the sea until he was sick of it.
As new waves rolled in endlessly, he found himself gazing blankly, as if his mind had been stolen away.

It occurred to him that he hadn’t even contacted his parents.
But what would he say if he did.
It would only weaken his resolve.

He hadn’t even managed to be a proper filial son, and yet things had still ended up like this.
From the moment he said he wanted to become an idol, they had believed in him and supported him without hesitation.
Guilt and deep regret surged up inside him.
At this point, there was nothing he could fix anymore.
His hyungs told him he was still young, that he could start over no matter what, but he couldn’t bring himself to move forward easily.
After all, he had entered as a trainee and run forward with nothing but debut in mind.

Life felt like trash.
Not just any trash, but the kind that couldn’t even be recycled.

The rustling sound of the plastic bag in his hand seemed to push him forward, urging his steps along.
He felt someone passing by hesitate after seeing his face.
Shim Eun-chan quickly turned his head away and hunched his shoulders.
He wondered if they had recognized him.
But that thought vanished the moment he returned to his lodging and saw his reflection in the mirror on the wall.

The beard that had grown out unchecked made him look like a suspicious person.
He should be grateful the passerby hadn’t screamed.

Thinking that he would have to get used to this face someday, though it didn’t come easily, Shim Eun-chan rubbed his face with his hand.
The rough bristles scraped against his fingertips.

How long had it been since he shaved.

As he tried to recall it, Shim Eun-chan let out a deflating laugh and gave up thinking about it.
It didn’t really matter anymore.

Back then, he had tried so hard to manage even the finest peach fuzz.
That self-mocking thought was all that came to mind.

He sat down on the cheap motel floor and took out the soju he had bought.
Until recently, he had been careful even about drinking.
If he made a mistake, it wouldn’t be the entertainment pages but the crime section he’d end up on, and that was something he absolutely had to avoid.

After he died, would he even get a single line in the entertainment news.
People who saw it would probably think, ‘That plastic surgery idol died. That’s sad,’ and then move on to another page.
No, would they even think it was sad.
Wouldn’t there just be malicious comments saying he deserved it.
As those thoughts reached that point, a sneer crept onto Shim Eun-chan’s lips.

Even building a bad reputation required recognition, and writing hate comments took even more effort.
And Shim Eun-chan wasn’t famous enough for that.
Most people would probably just think, ‘Oh, I see,’ and move on.
There wouldn’t even be many comments.

Thinking cynically, he gulped down the alcohol.
People said alcohol was bitter, but it went down surprisingly easily, like water—until the moment it passed his lips and the alcoholic burn hit his throat, making him grimace instinctively.
“Ughhh,” slipped out of his mouth as a bonus.

He’d always wondered why people in dramas and movies drank and went “Ahh.”
Now he understood.

With his face twisted every which way, he stared down at the soju bottle.
His stomach warmed, heat rose up, and his vision began to blur.
Shim Eun-chan slowly looked at the bottle.
Since he’d bought it, he should probably finish it all, but he couldn’t bring himself to drink any more.

There were still two bottles left.
What should he do.

Right on cue, his stomach growled loudly.
He remembered that he hadn’t eaten anything all day while sorting out his thoughts before coming here.
The moment he realized it, his brainless stomach protested its hunger even more violently.

He thought about ignoring it and just drinking instead, but he was far, far too hungry for that.

‘……Fine. They say even a ghost that dies full looks better.’

As he wondered what to eat, chicken came to mind—something he’d rarely eaten because he couldn’t shake his weight-management habits.
Before he could even finish the thought, his hand had already opened the delivery app.

It took less than thirty minutes for the freshly fried, piping-hot chicken to arrive.
The smell was incredible.
When he came to his senses, half the chicken was already gone.

“……Huh.”

All he could do was let out a hollow laugh at the sight of himself.
It was ridiculous that he’d come here planning to die, only to order chicken because he was hungry, and even more ridiculous that he’d devoured it without thinking because it tasted good.
He hadn’t expected himself to look cool like someone in a movie, but this was truly pathetic.

“……Heh, damn it…….”

He gulped down alcohol instead of water, and suddenly tears burst out of his eyes.
It wasn’t just tears—his nose started running too.
As Shim Eun-chan wiped his nose with the back of his hand, laughter spilled from his mouth.

If he was going to do something, he should at least do just one thing.
This was downright disgusting.
Just like his current situation.

Back when he debuted nine years ago, he had never imagined his life would turn out like this.
People said debut wasn’t the end, but he never thought it would be this hard.
Not to this extent.

So many things had happened over the past nine years.
It was a simple sentence, but truly—so many things had happened.

B the 1, which had started as a six-member group nine years ago, became a four-member group in its third year.
They worked desperately to keep going with the remaining members, but it wasn’t easy.
The album they released as four flopped spectacularly, and even the agency that had seemed unwilling to give up stopped talking about releasing albums at some point.

In the end, all that remained for Shim Eun-chan was the label of “plastic surgery idol” and severe depression.

Broadcast stations no longer called him anymore, but he still appeared occasionally on Nutube.
In videos titled things like Male Idol Ruined by Plastic Surgery.

A suppressed, breathy laugh slipped through his teeth.

Where had it all gone wrong.
Where did my life start to fall apart.

They said you only get one life—so why had his alone rolled downhill like this.
It was unbearably sorrowful.
Unfair.
He had lived diligently.
Everyone’s definition of diligence was different, but at the very least, he hadn’t lived so recklessly that his life deserved to become this irredeemable.
He knew he was treated like a disposable prop by broadcast stations, but even so, he had smiled and worked hard.

Feeling his face was wet, Shim Eun-chan opened the eyes he’d shut.
It seemed he had knocked over a soju bottle that still had alcohol left in it while he was sprawled on the floor.

“Hic—hic,” escaped his mouth.

He had hardened his heart and come all the way to the sea, thinking there was no point in living anymore.
Yet here he was, drunk and unable to control his own body, crawling pathetically on the floor—an image that perfectly summed up his life.

If only he could live his life once more.
If he could go back to the past with all these memories, he could really do well this time.

Thoughts riddled with regret and lingering attachment refused to leave his mind.
As Shim Eun-chan continued to spit out curses in a voice that barely came out, his vision suddenly darkened.

Then, at some point, a pa-ba-bam sound echoed through his pitch-black mind, and a hologram-like notification window appeared.

[You have been chosen as a regressor!
Time to make your choice!

▷Continue being an idol.
▷Buy lottery tickets.
▷Invest in stocks.]

……What is this.
Some kind of choices appeared.
He was supposed to… choose?

Shim Eun-chan struggled to open his blurry eyes properly.
So he really was drunk.
He was even hallucinating.

With the characteristic complacency of a drunken brain, he accepted the situation without much shock.
His surprise at the notification window didn’t last long, and his interest drifted elsewhere.

What was the point of lottery tickets or stocks.
He didn’t remember the winning numbers, and stocks could ruin you if you messed up.
Wasn’t the balance completely broken.

The moment he thought that, the notification window changed.

[You have been chosen as a regressor!
Time to make your choice!

▷Continue being an idol.
▷Buy lottery tickets. (Winning first-prize numbers provided)
▷Invest in stocks. (Two years of stock information provided)]

It was as if it were responding to his thoughts.
Dreams were supposed to be nonsensical, but even so, this felt absurdly sloppy.

If he could live again.

Murmuring those sweet-sounding words, Shim Eun-chan drew in a breath.
It wasn’t as if he’d never imagined it.
He’d done it so many times he was sick of it.

If only I’d done this then.
If only I’d done that.
Would anything have been different.

Even knowing how those assumptions devastated the heart, he couldn’t stop.
Shim Eun-chan’s body lived in the present, but his heart was always stuck in the past.

Once an angle slipped out of alignment, it never returned to its original position.
That was how Shim Eun-chan’s life twisted out of shape.

He stared fixedly at the notification window.
If only this were real.

The lottery jackpot and stock information were incredibly tempting.
Who would turn down sudden wealth.

And yet, despite all that, Shim Eun-chan couldn’t let go of his lingering regrets.

If he could go back to the past once more.
Then he was confident he could do better.
At the very least, he could make better choices than now.
He wanted a chance to fix his life, which had twisted beyond repair.
He wanted to succeed once, truly, as the idol he had aspired to be.

Even if it wasn’t three chances, ending it all in just one life was too cruel.
He didn’t want his one and only life to end like this.

He wanted to go back to the past and live his life again.
And if he failed even then—
If that happened, he felt he could accept any outcome.

Without hesitation, he chose “Continue being an idol.”

Brilliant music played once more, and the notification window slowly disappeared, shattering into pixels.