Chapter 105: The Things I Buried (12)

“…”

[You’re awake, Sora.]

“Whoa! Do you know how many days you were asleep, Sora-chan?”

How long… was I asleep… My whole body feels sluggish.

And… various… various storms of information churn through my mind.

Memories… yes… memories… That… it’s strange… Like… huh…?

Scenery… I look around at the surrounding scenery.

Countless scenes, as if… I’ve watched a whole movie, flash through my mind.

But… should I call it regrettable, or… I don’t know.

An indescribable emotion strikes my mind, grabbing my head and forcing it to face this reality.

The scenery, like I’ve stepped into a movie, brings a sense of dissonance.

But why…? A guess… yes… I have a guess…

The character in the movie… feels like me.

As if I’m overly immersed, the character in the movie doesn’t feel like someone else.

What… is this…

[Sora…?]

“Sora-chan…?”

Two voices… Sensei… Mika’s… voice… Right… I collapsed…

Why…

“Sob…”

“Eh?! Sora-chan?! Are you crying all of a sudden?! Did I do something wrong?! Uhm… well… I don’t know if you’ll believe me… but hitting you back then… that… well… it wasn’t intentional, and… um… uh uh… S… sorry? Okay…?”

It’s hard to speak properly.

“Hwaa… Sob…”

What… should I do…? I… don’t feel like myself.

A sense of bodily disconnection? There’s nothing like that.

Isn’t this the body I’ve lived in for almost 15 years?

Memory disconnection? The 15 years of memories and the 27 years of memories… Now both just feel like mine.

Either way, it’s me.

But… what… is this…? It’s definitely mine.

But…

It feels like I can’t define myself as me.

“Hwaa… Ahh… Aaaang… Hwaaang… Hwaaaaaaaaang”

I… the current me… what am I… what is this… I don’t know anything… I don’t think I can even be sure which side is me.

[Wait… Calm down…]

“Sensei… I… what… should I… do…?”

[Uh… Yes…?]

I want to plead with someone.

Anyone is fine.

I just wish I could spill this whole story and get an answer about who I am.

“Heu… Hwaa… I just… I just don’t know… What am I…? Where and how was I made, and where am I flowing to? And what on earth is the reason I’m here now… What is it… Tell me… I… I… what on earth am I…?”

Am I Yumetsubasa Sora of the Tea Party? Or am I Kang Su-hyeok of South Korea? Or… something in between…?

Feeling like I couldn’t control this emotion at all… I stopped… and for a long while… a long while like that… I poured out emotions and tears I wasn’t even sure were mine.

[…Have you calmed down?]

“Sora-chan…”

“…Yes…”

I cried for a long time, cried until my throat hurt…

Only when my throat hurt so much it was difficult to make a sound did my emotions finally calm down.

[Ahem… Then… perhaps…]

“Sensei… As expected…”

[Mika, it seems best to ask about this matter. It’s the first time I’ve seen Sora this agitated. Ahem… Anyway, Sora, perhaps… for what reason… or could you tell me what happened…?]

“…”

Yes… I expected this… At least… although it’s been a short time, the Sensei I’ve seen… isn’t the type to just let something like this go…

…Is it… okay to tell…?

I want to appeal.

I want to confess everything.

But… will it be okay…? If I seem even a little… strange… won’t I be treated like a mental patient…?

[…Haa… Mika?]

“Ah… Yes… Sora-chan… To be honest… I don’t want to burden Sora-chan… But… yes, if it’s something for Sora-chan’s sake… could you tell us…?”

…I… see… Anyway… if I can’t be me on my own, it’s probably best to bet on the side where there’s a chance of being affirmed by someone…

“…Then… I’ll… tell… you… Yes…”

I started confessing… everything.

My past life… something that might even be a delusion, I start to confess.

It’s simply the act of confessing what they asked me.

Despite that…

“I see… Sora-chan must have had a hard time too… Yes… It might be a little sad…”

“Haha… That’s why I didn’t expect to change like this now…”

[Responsibility is important, but there are certainly many people who don’t know what responsibility is. I’m proud of Sora for growing up like this even under such people, you know?]

“Ahem… Then, to continue the story…”

Despite just confessing…

I gradually feel relieved.

But…

As I confess like this, one by one, confessing my past life, questions pile up one by one.

“…”

“…Sora-chan…?”

Am I… okay…?

“…Ah… well…”

“Tell me properly, Sora-chan. Everything.”

“Will it be okay…?”

“What…?”

I’m scared.

“I… like I just said… might not be the Sora that Mika knows… And… even if I am that Sora from back then… having changed this much… Can I… treat Mika… Nagisa… Seia… everyone… the same way as before…? Will everyone… treat the changed me… the same way as before…?”

I’m scared I might not be able to love them anymore.

I’m scared they might not love me anymore.

If it’s clear I’ve changed, I’m scared that how I see those around me, and how those around me see me, will change.

Therefore… I’m scared to take a step forward.

It was only a short time.

A short time, only from the third year of middle school to about half of the first year of high school has barely passed.

Even though it was a short time, for the previous me, it was clearly a deep and strong bond, but is it the same for the current me…?

“Then… hehe… Is it my, our turn to woo you this time? Huh?”

“…Eh… Yes?”

I will never be able to answer that question.

Because…

“Look, Sora-chan… I don’t know how the current Sora-chan thinks about me, Nagi-chan, Seia-chan, and everyone else… Yes, honestly, I don’t know much about other people either.

That’s because… I’m a selfish person☆ But… yes! At least the Sora-chan we think of hasn’t changed at all, you know?”

“But… Mika… If I change in the future… your thoughts might change too…”

“Hehe… You’re calling me by my name now, without ‘unnie’? Yes… That’s right… If Sora-chan changes, our thoughts will surely change too… But… yes! If we think of it as a new charm, wouldn’t that be okay?

Yes! Because even the current Sora-chan, who seems timid and is a crybaby, is still someone who thinks about us and those around her, that hasn’t changed…?

Then that’s enough! Besides, Sora-chan is a first-year, right? I’ll think of it as an image change!”

“Ah… yes… I see… Yes, that’s right… Hehe… Yes, Mika… Then… um… actually… I’ve never properly confessed or anything… ahem… I like you… No… I love you.”

From now on, it’s a question I don’t need to worry about, so I won’t answer it.

Because that would be beneficial…

“Ah! It was our turn to woo you this time! You stole it…!”

“Since I confessed, wouldn’t that mean I’m the one who got wooed?”

Whoever the current me is… at least for now, it should be okay to live as Yumetsubasa Sora… Yes… At least now, I like this life, and it was good for shaking off lingering attachments from my past life.

Just… because I like everyone.

“Keung… I really feel like I’ve forgotten something…”

“Hehe… You definitely forgot, right? Kazusa-unnie, I never thought you were such a lightweight… Losing your memory over the alcohol in chocolate, hehe…”

“Hey, you’re lying right now, aren’t you?!”

Somehow… I got caught up in a major incident with Sensei in various ways… No… actually, I didn’t do anything… but I became one of the few witnesses who retained their memories.

Well… Inside the Tea Party, there are even fewer people with memories, including Sensei, so it seems everyone is trying to treat it like it never happened…

I don’t want to get involved in the somewhat complicated internal affairs of the Tea Party.

“Aren’t you going to answer!?”

“Eek… Sorry, Unnie. Yes, it’s a lie~”

“Then that means you know what happened, right? Hmm???”

“Actually… I don’t know either! Sensei did talk about something difficult, but I couldn’t understand it…?”

So, let’s just pass this whole matter onto Sensei, who’s probably handling things smoothly on his own.

If I don’t do this, Kazusa-unnie’s knuckle sandwich will surely be waiting for me… Hmm… Kazusa-unnie… a former Sukeban, and a very famous one at that, so her hand hits hard…

Being young really helps at times like this… When I first came to my senses, I resented this young body so much.

“Haa… Well then, it seems Sensei also went to visit that kid… I guess I’ll have to go ask him. So, did you pick everything?”

“Yes! Unnie!”

Right, I was currently picking out a gift because of Sora-unnie’s hospital visit.

At first, even searching all my memories… no, actually, back then everyone except Kazusa-unnie was someone to be wary of…

anyway, she was a person who didn’t exist in my memory at all, so I was cautious, but now she just feels like a close older sister, so I want to bring at least a get-well gift.

“Heeh… You picked well?”

“I’m quite capable, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, so capable you lack cuteness, you little brat.”

“Hehe…”

A fruit basket.

In my past life too, I liked fruits, so naturally, I internalized how to pick good ones.

When I first came here, it felt natural, but I was relieved that the way to pick fruits was the same…

Anyway…

“Alright, let’s go then, Yumeka.”

“Yes, Unnie!”

Well, yes… I’ve given up.

No, more accurately, I’ve lost the need.

Is there a way to lead this story in a better direction? The time when I thought about trying to change things is already the distant past.

The Eden Treaty? Even without me, maybe because of Sora-unnie or perhaps something else was at play, I don’t know, but it reached a better ending than the original work.

Pavane? Didn’t my interference almost lead to the worst ending where Aris-unnie committed suicide?

Yes… Being reincarnated into a game where you know the ending or the future and changing the future is just something that happens in novels.

I was reincarnated… but I don’t have the ability to change it.

If so, let’s at least enjoy this world.

That is the thought I felt… concluded… while experiencing this incident.

Honestly, I don’t even properly know what happened…

“Ah! Found you! Kyouyama Kazusa! Today’s the day I reveal your true nature…”

“Ugh… Yumeka? Here, take this fruit basket and go on ahead… Looks like I have to deal with an annoying one…”

“Haha… Unnie, don’t be late?”

I was walking towards the Remedial Knights’ building while thinking such thoughts.

Considering the height difference between Kazusa-unnie and me, it’s normal that keeping up with her stride is challenging for me…

At some point, Kazusa-unnie stopped, then a familiar voice, Reisa-unnie’s voice, was heard, and the characteristic chaos began.

…Well… Kazusa-unnie told me to go ahead… and it doesn’t seem like there’s a place for me in that chaos, so let’s just go visit the hospital room…

“…”

Yes… The hospital room’s atmosphere was definitely not one I could enter.

“Hwaa… Ahh… Aaaang… Hwaaang… Hwaaaaaaaaang”

The Remedial Knights’ hospital rooms must have pretty good soundproofing… I only heard it after standing in front of the door.

Inside the room… the room’s occupant, Sora-unnie, was crying sorrowfully, straining her throat.

Why…? That unnie definitely has a bright personality… I’ve never seen her cry before…

Although she’s not someone I’ve spent that much time with, she didn’t seem like the type to cry so sorrowfully…

How long did I wait…?

Around the time the crying stopped…

“Sen[…]… As expected…”

[Mika, […] about this matter […] seems best to ask […] Sora being this […] agitated is […] after all. Ahem… An[…] Sora, perhaps… for what reason… or […] what happened […] could you tell me…?]

Very faintly… very faintly, Sensei’s and Mika’s… voices could be heard from inside the room.

Because of the soundproofing, I couldn’t hear properly… Very carefully, I opened the door just a tiny crack, barely enough to hear their voices, and started listening to the sound leaking through the gap.

My hearing is quite good, so even with the impressive soundproofing of the Remedial Knights, creating even this small a gap allowed me to somehow hear.

And…

“…Then… I’ll… tell… you… Yes…”

Its contents… were deeply shocking.

“I see… Sora-chan must have had a hard time too… Yes… It might be a little sad…”

“Haha… That’s why I didn’t expect to change like this now…”

[Responsibility is important, but there are certainly many people who don’t know what responsibility is. I’m proud of Sora for growing up like this even under such people, you know?]

“Ahem… Then, to continue the story…”

Sora… her past history… Perhaps… no… definitely… a story that she might share a past history with me… began to be heard.

It was… you…?

You…? Really…?

The reason… I came here…

Was your disappearance…

How… how should I react…?

Should I be happy to see her…? Should I pretend not to know…?

Various worries start churning through my mind.

[Hmm, since there’s nothing seriously wrong with your body, you should be able to be discharged soon, Sora. Mika and I will get going now. Rest well.]

“Ah, um… I’d appreciate it if you kept this a secret from Nagisa and Seia…”

“Ahaha☆ I know! It’s like a surprise, right? Yes!”

However… those worries ultimately weren’t concluded.

“Oh…? You are…?”

[Yumeka? Did you come to visit too?]

In the end… today… I couldn’t decide after all.