Chapter 11: The Dangerous Guide

<Sephiroth has invited you to a party.>

“……What’s this?”

“Didn’t you ask for a party?”

Answering with an air of leisure, Sephiroth beckoned with his finger as if telling me to hurry up and accept. I hesitated for a moment once the prompt actually appeared, but after some thought, I hit accept.

No matter how nonsensical this game might be, surely they didn’t design it so you could kill your own party members.

Once the blue link—the indicator of a party connection—appeared above our heads, I dashed out into the field with excitement.

“Alright, shall we go?”

“Wait a second….”

Before I could even register Sephiroth’s warning from behind, it happened.

“Thou who committeth evil! Pay for thy sins!”

A booming voice—neither Sephiroth’s nor mine—approached. I instinctively turned my head. A dazzling cluster of light fell from the sky, blinding my vision. At first, I thought it was sunlight. Then I realized the “sun” was growing darker and larger as it descended directly toward me.

KR-BOOM!

With a massive rupturing sound, a glowing hammer slammed me into the dirt.

Fck, what now?!*

[A Village Guard has slain you.] [You have died. Would you like to resurrect?]

“……What on earth was that?”

The thing that killed me was a Village Guard NPC clad in silver armor. I thought they were just dummy NPCs meant for scenery, but I didn’t realize my life bar was as fragile as a fly’s wing. The guard then lunged at Sephiroth, who was standing a step behind me. Go Guard! I rooted for the enemy who just took my life, but Sephiroth nimbly dodged every hammer swing. He even had the breath to spare for an explanation.

“My infamy is so high that if you party with me, the guards will try to hunt you down too.”

“Say that beforehand!”

Ugh, this lunatic! Fuming with rage, I immediately disbanded the party.

After losing the guard and returning, Sephiroth spoke in a refreshed tone.

“Anyway, if the level gap between party members is too large, you don’t get any experience.”

“……I suppose so.”

Thinking about it while resurrecting, a Level 100 and a Level 1 partying together did seem fundamentally wrong. I had been misled because Seonhwa Noona was so confident about giving me a “bus.”

True. If it were possible to just leech XP from a max-level player while they did all the work, this game would have gone bankrupt three years ago.

But then again, doesn’t the mere existence of this psycho provide plenty of reasons for this to be a “trash game”? For the sake of a healthy ecosystem, invasive species like him should be caught and disposed of.

I grumbled inwardly while checking the game’s mechanics.

“Is there no penalty for a max-level player loitering in the newbie zone?”

“Plenty. I lose gold, my experience gets slashed resulting in level penalties, and my infamy rises.”

“Then why are you camping here?”

“As long as I don’t hunt monsters, it’s not that bad. And it’s not like my PK infamy started yesterday.”

Oh, is that so? How impressive….

I was rubbing my face in a wave of returning fatigue when Sephiroth tapped my shoulder with his fingertip.

“Now what.”

“I’ll help you, so let’s move.”

“Help with what? If we party, I get no XP, and before that, I’ll get hammered to death by guards. Don’t tell me you’re giving me some ‘Spartan Mission’ where I have to clear quests while dodging guards?”

“That’s actually not a bad idea.”

What is he even saying? Avoiding my “you’re-absurd” gaze, Sephiroth let the corners of his mouth curl into a smirk.

“It’s not that. It’s just that the Zelpia main quests are a bit tedious. I can make the clearing speed much faster.”

“…….”

“It’s a bit hurtful when you look at me with such suspicious eyes. I helped you yesterday, too.”

“Hurtful, my foot……”

I shook my head, but at the same time, I remembered what Seongjin said: that the quests were incredibly grindy. I thought of the next quest NPC who didn’t even have a special marker. It wasn’t for nothing that I had mistaken this guy for an NPC initially.

……Ah, seriously.

He was an unreliable nutcase, but he also knew more about this game than anyone. If I were alone, I’d likely spend hours on the tedious process Seongjin mentioned. And what if there were hidden mission conditions? The odds of me missing them were infinite, while the odds of Sephiroth knowing them were just as high. There was a literal walkthrough standing right in front of me—was his being a “crazy person” really a big enough reason to ignore it? My gamer ego whispered to my rational side: You’re the crazy one if you walk away.

“…Fine, lead the way.”

In the end, I surrendered to my gamer instincts. I heard the lunatic chuckle at my answer.

“So, catching Giant Slugs and Orange-flower Lions is supposed to be ‘hard’?”

To my question, Sephiroth answered very readily.

“No. They’ll probably die in about three hits.”

“……I believe someone just said the quests were ‘tedious’ a minute ago.”

His answer made me regret my decision to view him as a “human walkthrough” almost instantly.

Is this bait-and-switch? False advertising? If killing a monster that dies in three hits five times is “tedious,” how does he even play online games?

While I debated whether or not to curse at him, Sephiroth began walking forward with heavy thuds. Another guard NPC recognized him and swung a sword, but he dodged with practiced ease and looked back at me.

“Don’t get mad, just follow me for now.”

“If your goal is to make me delete my account forever, just be honest now.”

“I’m really trying to help.”

Fortunately, because we weren’t in a party, the guard’s aggro didn’t jump to me. I was still suspicious if this was a ploy to mess with me, but since I’d decided to trust him, I followed.

“Thou who committeth evil! Pay for thy sins!”

The guard NPC, aggroed for the entire duration, unleashed a fierce assault while I followed Sephiroth. Sephiroth dodged the onslaught by hair-breadth margins. Is this the ultimate spear vs. shield battle? Watching the flashy exchange of offense and defense before my eyes, I asked in a tired voice:

“Do you just walk around the map like this every day?”

Sephiroth nodded nonchalantly.

“Yeah.”

“Really?”

“Why? Do I look cool now?”

I stared at him with a cold, judging expression as he basked in his own vanity, then shook my head.

“No. I just feel pathetic that I have to level up to fight something like this.”

He was dodging rapid attacks perfectly—he was a monster. Based on my experience, one hit would send me to the grave. Is it just because he’s max level?

Of course, as I watched, I began to see tiny patterns in the AI’s attacks. Holding the sword vertically and waiting 1 second meant a vertical slash; tilting it 10 degrees with a 3-second delay meant a horizontal slash. A vertical stance followed by a foot-stomping motion meant a spinning slash.

But I only noticed this because I was a spectator. To read all these motions while performing flashy actions of your own? I had zero confidence I could do that.

How did I get stuck with a monster like this?

“Hey. I get that you’re good at the game. I’m way worse than you, so can’t you just let me go?”

“Nope.”

His sharp refusal left me speechless. While he was answering me, the guard NPC, having failed to kill Sephiroth, trudged back to its post. Even though I knew it was just a programmed AI, I felt a pang of pity. Yeah, you want to kill this crazy bastard too, don’t you?

While I was chewing Sephiroth out in my mind, he walked silently forward and stopped in front of a damp-looking cave. Pale, branch-like plants growing on the cave walls emitted a faint glow, lighting the interior. Glowing droplets fell from the tips of the branches—tap, tap—onto the floor. The moment they touched the ground, the light vanished, and they turned into ordinary water.

“Get in.”

“Are you trying to dispose of my body where no one will find it……?”

“You really have no faith in humanity.”

“No. I have no faith in you.”

Ignoring my remark, Sephiroth entered the cave first. Having no other choice, I followed him in.

Every time a droplet fell—tap, tap—the sound echoed through the cave. The clear sound felt like listening to a marimba. The light from the glowing branches pulsed in rhythm with the falling water, expanding and contracting.

“It is beautiful.”

Honestly, I could only marvel at Zelpia’s graphics. Even though I knew it was a game, it was so vivid I could mistake it for reality. I’d heard that virtual reality technology had advanced, but experiencing it firsthand was beyond anything I’d imagined.

Beautiful. There was no better word for it.

“Me?”

Hey, read the room.

It was a voice that shattered my immersion. Well, the voice itself was good. Hearing that low bass, which already sounded like it was echoing in a cave, in an actual cave made it resonate twice as well.

But what did it matter? The person behind it was a lunatic.

“Excuse me. You’re covered in pitch-black armor from head to toe, what exactly is there to look at?”

“Ah.”

Sephiroth fell silent. It seemed my point was quite valid. Staring at the back of the black helmet as he walked, I thought:

Is this guy the type to have a massive ego in real life?