Chapter 112: The Weight of Returning Memories

“Hngh…! Ugh….”

His vision swam with black. Stars seemed to burst behind his lower abdomen, where the penetration reached an unfathomable depth. Fluid streamed from Sa-yoon’s front. His jaw, clenched against his shoulder, trembled uncontrollably, and his fingertips tingled with an electric ache.

A lukewarm sensation spread within his abdomen, which had hardened like stone.

His lower body was a mess, soaked with both his own release and the sticky aftermath of Han Do-hoon’s belated ejaculation. Amidst the unpleasant wetness, Han Do-hoon’s still-hard shaft twitched, impaling Sa-yoon.

As the spasms subsided, Sa-yoon bit out a curse through trembling lips.

“Let go of me… you bastard….”

“…….”

“You’ve had your fill… done whatever you wanted. You son of a b*tch.”

Sa-yoon couldn’t even wipe away the tears that streamed uncontrollably down his face. He sobbed, leaning against the man he loathed. He had no strength left to escape. It had been a catastrophic act, a disastrous situation. As his feet finally touched the ground, his knees buckled, and he collapsed onto the dirt.

Han Do-hoon watched him. He gazed at Sa-yoon’s back, trembling from the lingering aftershocks, completely drenched and undone. His mismatched white hair, soaked with sweat, clung disheveled to the nape of his neck.

“…….”

Tears dripped from Sa-yoon’s bowed head, leaving dark marks on the ground. The dammed-up tears flowed helplessly. Han Do-hoon bent down and wiped Sa-yoon’s tears with his hand. His actions were a stark contrast to his previous aggression. He gently touched the corners of Sa-yoon’s eyes, wiping away the drops that fell to his chin.

“Get away from me.”

Sa-yoon roughly pushed him away. His current state was pathetic. He was ashamed of his ravaged appearance and his body crumpled miserably on the ground. Most pathetic of all was that Han Do-hoon was the one who had reduced him to this.

Han Do-hoon removed his own top and draped it over Sa-yoon. Being slightly larger, the shirt was enough to conceal Sa-yoon’s bruised and reddened body.

“So, are you satisfied? Knowing what I am. Have you confirmed how similar I am to ‘that person’?”

“The details will become clear once the headquarters investigates.”

Han Do-hoon seized Sa-yoon’s arm, pulling him up. He grasped both of Sa-yoon’s hands, forcing him to his feet as if to arrest him, even as he felt the tension in Sa-yoon’s broken shoulder. Sa-yoon yielded to the force, rising to his feet. He quietly straightened his clothes and extended his hands as Han Do-hoon led him.

Sa-yoon lifted his head. The moonlight was fading, and a faint sun was beginning to rise on the opposite horizon.

Sa-yoon wiped the tear streaks from his face and looked at Han Do-hoon. It seemed they were truly bound by a tenacious, ill-fated connection.

“This is truly too much.”

Sa-yoon muttered, a hollow, bitter laugh escaping him. It was ridiculous. Of all moments, at such a wretched time, the memories he had buried shouldn’t have returned.

In Sa-yoon’s mind, forgotten memories tangled like a rewound film. The most intense were, undoubtedly, those from his time at the Esper Headquarters. The suffocating days he had spent with Han Do-hoon, thwarting terror attacks, and the precarious moments unfolded like a panorama in his mind.

Memory and emotion moved in tandem. The affection and warmth he had felt for Han Do-hoon while working missions with him. The uncontrollable feelings he had experienced back then slowly resurfaced.

He had been happy. The affection and sense of stability he felt for the first time were things Sa-yoon had never known before. Han Do-hoon had been tender, as if he would give him everything, and Sa-yoon had believed their affection, even if not eternal, would find a good end. Yet, before he could even question that trust, a knife-sharp betrayal had engulfed Sa-yoon. The moment he learned Han Do-hoon was an Irregular Hunter, he understood everything had been an illusion. His heart had ached as if it would stop. That betrayal devoured all the joyous memories he’d shared with Han Do-hoon, swelling twofold to consume Sa-yoon entirely.

With all his memories returned, Sa-yoon’s shoulders slumped. He let his arms hang limp, making no effort to resist Han Do-hoon’s grip.

Born an Irregular, Sa-yoon had lived his entire life cowering. To escape that life, he had gambled with death, throwing himself into a desperate bid for freedom. He had believed he would find happiness. But the devastating times that had shaped the past Sa-yoon returned, giving him no chance to flee.

“…….”

Not even a sigh escaped him. No matter how much he struggled, Sa-yoon’s reality remained unchanged. In the end, his false paradise had shattered, and the time he had lived as Seol-won had become a hollow, futile dream.

Though he hated it terribly, it was time to face reality.

Sa-yoon looked at Han Do-hoon. The image of Han Do-hoon, who once spoke to him so tenderly, overlapped with the Han Do-hoon glaring at him now.

Blinking his blurred eyes, Sa-yoon asked Han Do-hoon,

“How will you investigate me at headquarters? Will you take me to that famous laboratory?”

His voice, previously shaky and frightened, was gone. The casual tone he had used had shifted to formal speech. Unaware of the change, Han Do-hoon responded in his usual low voice.

“Yes. We need to understand how you acquired that ability.”

“Ah, of course. I suppose so.”

Sa-yoon closed his eyes, looking towards the rising sun. Nothing had changed. Everything was exactly as it had been before.

Han Do-hoon was trying to capture him, and he had to escape.

White lines unfurled, stretching regularly both horizontally and vertically. They returned to their respective places, sketching the terrain and naming themselves coordinates. Arranged for Sa-yoon’s ease of movement, for him to manipulate as he pleased, the coordinates awaited his summons. They cheered, swirling around Sa-yoon as if greeting a long-lost friend.

“This, and that… everything is truly the same.”

The ground beneath Han Do-hoon’s feet convulsed. A chasm instantly tore open, threatening to swallow him, and Han Do-hoon quickly took a step back. Before he could react, a pile of earth cascaded onto the spot he had just vacated, and a rock shot up from beside him, striking him.

“Ugh.”

The impact, strong enough to make his head ring, made Han Do-hoon stumble. Sa-yoon didn’t stop, widening the distance between them. Tightly packed earth formed an impenetrable wall, blocking their path and muffling all sound.

Han Do-hoon quickly conjured flames, but they dissipated upon hitting the dry wall.

Han Do-hoon’s eyes widened at the starkly different application of power. Their gazes briefly met through the shifting wall. Sa-yoon, meeting his eyes, curved his own, which were bloodshot and raw. He forced a smile, unwilling to cry.

It was the best Sa-yoon could do. Seizing the moment of Han Do-hoon’s distraction, Sa-yoon fled in the opposite direction. He pushed off the ground, running silently, concealing his tattered body beneath the oversized shirt. Tears streamed onto the collar, faintly imbued with its owner’s scent.

As he pushed through the thorny bushes and ran to the other side of the mountain, a faint light flickered in the distance.

“…Seol-won!”

A familiar voice called Sa-yoon’s name. Sa-yoon moved towards it. His pounding heart calmed, and his hurried steps slowed. By the time he reached Kang Tae-han, he was stumbling, barely able to move, his strength completely drained.

“Are you okay? You look…”

“Hyung.”

Kang Tae-han fell silent at Sa-yoon’s wretched appearance. Anyone could tell something terrible had happened, and Sa-yoon’s exhausted state, unable to conceal it, was pitiable. Kang Tae-han couldn’t even properly touch him, remaining silent. Behind him, Jung Hyun-woo rushed over.

Upon seeing Sa-yoon, he immediately took off his long gown and covered him. Only then did the persistent scent of Han Do-hoon finally dissipate.

“Who did this to you? Was it Han Do-hoon again? Did that bastard…”

“Doctor!”

At Kang Tae-han’s shout, Jung Hyun-woo closed his mouth. He covered his face with his hands, an expression of regret. Sa-yoon looked at the anxious Jung Hyun-woo, his tear-streaked face contorted. He had only seen him a few hours ago, yet a familiar longing filled him, as if it had been a long time.

“I’m sorry. I keep making mistakes.”

“Hyun-woo Hyung.”

Sa-yoon called Jung Hyun-woo’s name. It was a name he had missed. Jung Hyun-woo’s eyes trembled at the sound of his name. A mix of hopeful expectation and anxiety made his hands shake.

“Surely, you’re… Sa-yoon?”

“Yes.”

‘Sa-yoon!’ Jung Hyun-woo cried out, embracing him. Sa-yoon buried his face in Jung Hyun-woo’s chest, tears streaming down his own face.

What kind of cruel twist of fate was this? To have his memories return at the very moment he was being raped by the man he had died to escape. The situation was so tragically absurd, so utterly miserable and sorrowful, and his own state so pathetic, that Sa-yoon remained on the ground, weeping for a long time.

Sa-yoon’s short escape, born from his desire to flee reality and be forgotten by the world, thus came to an end.

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