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Living among men, I’d come to realize one universal truth: at least half of them are bundles of pure narcissism. From the genuinely handsome ones to those whose faces look like a sculptor was trying to pay homage to Picasso, men of all shapes and sizes firmly believe they are gods’ gift to the world. Sephiroth was clearly that type.
Well, it makes sense. With a personality like his, he’d have to believe he’s amazing just to function. I’ve noticed that personality and self-love tend to be inversely proportional.
I took cautious steps, looking around the now-quiet cave. Suddenly, Sephiroth came to a dead halt, and I nearly slammed into his back. As I clutched my chest, heart racing from the near-collision, Sephiroth stepped aside.
“We’re here.”
Sitting before me was a giant slug wearing a crown.
“You have to use honorifics,” Sephiroth added quickly.
But my attention was already entirely consumed by the overwhelming visuals.
…Wow.
There was an exclamation mark over its head. That meant it was a quest-giving NPC. Was it actually possible to have a conversation with this white, slimy-looking thing? What if it reached out a tentacle to “commune” with me? Worrying about things that probably wouldn’t happen, I spoke up.
“Excuse me.”
“Hmm? Who are you?”
I couldn’t tell where the voice was coming from. It was a remarkably dignified voice that didn’t match the undulating body at all. Suppressing the urge to laugh, I spoke calmly.
“I am a hero.”
“Ask if there’s anything troubling it lately,” Sephiroth instructed from my side.
“Is there… anything troubling you lately?”
I faithfully followed the directions given by my guide. This was the hardest part about getting used to VR games: every prompt was subjective, and the reaction changed subtly depending on exactly what I said.
It seemed using honorifics because of the crown was the right move. The dignified voice let out a long hmmm.
“A polite human, I see.”
“Yes. I was raised with excellent manners.”
“I had decided to never again trust any race other than our own Slug-kind, but for a youth as well-bred as you, I suppose I could share my story just once.”
Slug-kind… That is a very literal name.
“The youth of our Slug-kind have recently been meeting terrible ends with increasing frequency. Those who falsely claim to be heroes, like yourself, are slaughtering our peaceful kin. And then… they steal our mucus.”
Wait. Isn’t that the content of the Orc quest?
Based on the flow of the conversation, it seemed players had killed many slugs for the Orc quest, and as a result, the being before me—likely the Queen of the Slugs—was furious.
Unlike me, who was flustered, the Slug Queen requested my help in a calm, majestic voice.
“Seek revenge against those who have done this to our people. Do so, and I shall grant you all the treasures of the Slug-kind.”
<Sudden Quest> The Slug-kind’s Wrath: The slugs are curious about who is behind the humans massacring them. Find the mastermind and satisfy the Slug Queen.
…So, she wants me to burn down the Orc village?
This was an unexpected development. I thought I just had to hit some mobs and collect drop items, but suddenly it had turned into a blood feud between races. The original mystery—the missing Orcs that started this whole mess—remains unsolved, and the plot is only getting more tangled.
I hurriedly turned to my walkthrough, Sephiroth.
“Do I accept this?”
“Why would I bring you all the way here if I was going to have you decline?”
“…Are you sure about this?”
I’m still not sure if I can trust this guy…
Trembling with anxiety, I nodded. The “Accept Quest” button lit up, and the Slug Queen stretched her slimy body long. The Slug Queen is satisfied. I stared blankly at the text floating above her.
“I am grateful that through your help, our Slug-kind may have its revenge.”
“Yeaaah…”
“All slugs shall bless you.”
<You can now understand the language of the Slug-kind.>
As that cryptic message appeared, Sephiroth grabbed my shoulder and pulled. When I whipped my head around, he was pointing toward the exit of the cave.
“We need to get one more.”
“Don’t tell me the ‘Orange-flower Lion’ or Tiger or whatever they are… they’re like this too?”
“Yep.”
Nodding without a hint of hesitation, he began to stride out. I scrambled after him. My head was already spinning from the Orc vs. Slug war; the thought of an Orange-flower Lion joining the fray gave me a literal headache.
“Couldn’t I have just killed some slugs and taken the drop items?”
“You could. But you wouldn’t get the hidden stats.”
“Do I really need those?”
“Didn’t you say you wanted to fight me on equal ground?”
Uh… I said it was unfair, I don’t recall saying I wanted to fight you as an equal, buddy.
As if refusing to hear any rebuttal, the black armor straightened up. His strides were long and fast, devoid of even a shred of hesitation. To an outsider, he looked like a general returning from a victorious campaign.
I could feel his intense will to raise my level through the shortest path possible just by looking at his back.
And the King of the Orange-flower Lions roared:
“The Slug-kind has clearly oppressed our people! Kill the slugs!”
Hey. Why don’t you guys just fight each other?
I asked myself: How did I end up in this situation? It was all because I relied on Sephiroth, the walking walkthrough (or so I believed), just to make the game a bit easier. Either that, or this game is just trash.
I trudged out of the Lion’s den. Including the quest I just received, three quests were now flashing in my window.
<The Missing Orcs – 2>
<Wrath of the Slug-kind>
<Suspicion of the Orange-flower Lions>
If I wanted to satisfy the Orcs, I had to kill the Slugs and Lions. If I wanted to satisfy the Slugs, I had to kill the Orcs. If I wanted to satisfy the Lions, I had to kill the Slugs. It was a godforsaken “Triangle of Chaos.”
Hey, Bibi. Why did you give me a quest like this…
I thought of the Orc girl with the striking braids. Does she know? Does she know her “hero trial” triggered a racial conflict?
“So I have to pick one of the three. Which did you choose?”
Despite the mess, I had to finish the quest. I needed to figure out which request was the most efficient to fulfill. I tossed the question to the walking walkthrough. Sephiroth replied as if it were nothing.
“I killed all three.”
…Excuse me?
“Wait, I must have misheard you.”
This was a twist I hadn’t even imagined. Sephiroth just shrugged as if wondering what the problem was.
“You heard right. I killed all three.”
“How does that even make sense?”
“They were all asking me to kill each other. Isn’t the way to get the most rewards just to kill them all?”
That is a remarkably creative way to be insane.
They asked to kill each other, so I killed everyone. It’s so clean it’s terrifying. I dazed out as I questioned the logic.
“They asked you to kill each other… so how do you get rewards if they’re all dead?”
“That part’s easy. The Orc doesn’t want genocide; she just wants items. So, buy the items at the auction house. Hand them over, get the reward, then kill the Orc.”
“…Okay. And then?”
“After you get the reward from the Slug, kill the Slug too. Then move on to get the reward from the Lion.”
“Wait, so you didn’t kill the Lion?”
“No, I did. After I killed one, a title popped up: ‘The First to Extirpate a Race.’ So I killed the others too, to get the first-time rewards.”
Isn’t this extremely weird? He killed the quest-givers to finish the quest? It’s too violent… no, how do you even come up with this line of thinking?
I hurriedly reported this monster’s atrocities to the guild chat.
[Guild] BlueberryWhiskey: Everyone, regarding the main quest… [Guild] BlueberryWhiskey: What do you think about just killing the Orc, the Slug, and the Lion all together? haha; [Guild] VeggieSteamedBun: Oh, Eonha! Did you already look up the walkthrough? [Guild] VeggieSteamedBun: I guess there’s not much for me to help with then ><~ [Guild] JujiyukLim: As if you could help Eonha, who cleared Nightmare ㅋㅋㅋ [Guild] VeggieSteamedBun: Shut up, you jerk ^^ [Guild] VeggieSteamedBun: Eonha, let me know if you get stuck again!! ><
But the reaction was the opposite of what I expected. I thought they’d ask why on earth I’d clear it like that, but instead, it felt more like, “Our little newbie already figured that out? So proud!”
Is this really the intended strategy? Is this digital psychopath actually a valid walkthrough?
“Hold on a second.”
I stopped Sephiroth, who looked ready to set off on a mission of racial extermination at any second, and quickly accessed the community portal. Since Zelpia was such a famous game, the community was well-established.
Let’s see. Newbie Main Quest Walkthrough.
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