Chapter 15: A Familiar’s Appetite and Familiar Names

As the familiar summoning ritual concluded, Su Liyue and Mu Wanqing walked side-by-side towards the academy cafeteria.

“Moon, I can’t believe we actually get to share a familiar, and a legendary phoenix at that!” Mu Wanqing’s eyes sparkled, and Jiuwu on her shoulder shivered, looking remarkably like a common ground chicken.

“Indeed, it was quite unexpected,” Su Liyue acknowledged verbally, yet in her mind, she was already calculating the Xuanxiao Divine Phoenix’s potential appetite.

While it appeared adorably naive now, what if it turned out to be a creature with a monstrous appetite, or one that subsisted solely on rare heavenly treasures?

How incredibly expensive would that be to maintain?

After all, the Five-Clawed Golden Dragon she had raised in her previous life had truly shocked her.

Initially, she had believed such a creature would be easy to care for, only to discover its demands were no less than those of a Labrador.

Consequently, she had simply named it “Labrador.”

She had only found relief by eventually gifting it to the Jade Pool Saintess, sparing herself from another series of frustrating or embarrassing situations.

“But Moon, don’t you absolutely detest boys? How did you end up forming a contract with that alchemy fanatic?” Mu Wanqing suddenly whispered.

As expected, this question was unavoidable, but fortunately, Su Liyue had already prepared a reason during their walk.

“How should I put this to you? His family and mine are actually old acquaintances, so we’ve known each other since childhood.

Besides, the sheer number of love letters I’ve received these past few years has become quite disruptive to my life; it’s truly annoying.”

“Are you saying you’re going to use him as a shield? And you two have known each other since childhood? Childhood sweethearts, even?” Mu Wanqing’s eyes narrowed suspiciously.

‘More than just childhood sweethearts, I am him, for heaven’s sake.’

“Something like that, yes…”

Jiuwu, perched on Mu Wanqing’s shoulder, nearly tumbled off, muttering inwardly.

‘Truly a formidable figure, living so long and still playing such elaborate games.

Not only does she want to “graze on young grass” (TL Note: A Chinese idiom referring to an older person pursuing a younger one), but she also aims for a scenario involving two women.

Could the “small gift” she mentioned earlier actually refer to this?’

It secretly glanced at Ye Xingchen, who was not far away, and silently congratulated itself for not having made Mu Wanqing kneel earlier.

“Something still feels off…” Mu Wanqing murmured, then suddenly raised a Poké Ball.

“Oh right, what should we do about this little guy?”

Inside the ball, the hamster baby immediately struck its cutest pose, tiny paws clinging to the transparent casing.

Su Liyue gazed at the hamster baby, which was currently trying its best to look adorable, and muttered inwardly, ‘Has this little guy perhaps gained sentience? It’s so clever.’

“Let’s keep it then, and give it a name. After all, phoenixes don’t eat mice.”

“A name?” Mu Wanqing pondered for a moment, then suggested, “How about Mikami Yua (TL Note: A well-known Japanese adult film actress)?”

“Pfft!!!” Su Liyue distinctly felt herself choke, and even Ye Xingchen, walking not far behind them, choked in perfect synchronicity.

“That name… isn’t quite suitable.”

“Ah? Moon, don’t you like it?” The Xuanxiao Divine Phoenix also looked at Su Liyue with confusion, its gaze seeming to ask, ‘What’s wrong with that name?’

‘It’s not a matter of liking or disliking it; it’s more about, can you imagine a hamster named “Mikami Yua” squeaking on its wheel in your dorm room every day?

No matter how I think about it, it wouldn’t sound like “squeak, squeak,” but rather “Yamete kudasai”.’

‘Especially if it were to wiggle its hips, it would be an utterly eye-searing sight.’

“As a human name, it’s a bit unsuitable for it,” Su Liyue stated, feigning composure.

“I see. Then how about Tokisaki Kurumi (TL Note: A popular character from the anime series ‘Date A Live’)?”

“Cough, cough, cough!” Su Liyue and Ye Xingchen choked simultaneously once more.

This time, it caused the students heading to dinner to involuntarily glance their way, wondering if perhaps that human-familiar contract had some side effects.

“Kurumi-chanis a ‘unique’ existence, but I fear the path of Shido (TL Note: The protagonist of ‘Date A Live,’ known for saving heroines) could easily turn into the path of Makoto (TL Note: A notorious character from ‘School Days,’ known for his philandering ways and tragic end), so let’s pick a shorter name.”

Su Liyue deliberately emphasized the word “unique.”

“Oh, so Moon doesn’t like four-character names?

Well, since it goes ‘squeak, squeak, squeak’ three times, why don’t we just call it Sanzhi (TL Note: Literally ‘three squeaks’)?”

“Pfft, cough, cough…” Su Liyue and Ye Xingchen nearly choked again but managed to stop themselves in time.

‘Sanzhi? Are you referring to the mysterious dish “Sanzhi” (TL Note: A controversial dish involving live baby mice that squeak three times when eaten) or “Three Squirrels” (TL Note: A popular Chinese snack brand featuring three squirrels as its mascot)?’

“That’s perfectly fine!” Having suggested three names already, it seemed impolite to object again.

After all, one shouldn’t object more than three times.

She couldn’t help but admire her best friend’s genius for naming, which truly rivaled her own from her previous life.

After all, the Five-Clawed Golden Dragon named “Labrador” and Qizai, the sword spirit, were names that would undoubtedly be a source of shame when uttered in the cultivation world.

Moreover, with Sanzhi, Qizai, and Jiuwu the Phoenix, if she were to acquire a “Baka (TL Note: Japanese for ‘idiot’) Lifebound Sword,” wouldn’t she almost have ten to summon some primordial spirit?

***

The cafeteria hall buzzed with lively chatter as students from various departments took their seats in an orderly fashion, guided by their instructors.

Su Liyue, Mu Wanqing, and Ye Xingchen each found their respective seats and settled in, awaiting their meal.

Ye Xingchen and Su Liyue stared at the food on their gilded plates, their eyebrows subtly raising in unison.

The culinary culture of this world bore a resemblance to Western cuisine on Earth.

There were exquisite presentations, elaborate sauce garnishes, and even an appetizer soup kept warm by magic.

The only distinction was the absence of the intricate serving procedures found in Michelin-starred restaurants; here, all dishes were presented simultaneously on the platter.

And as for the main course… it was still bread.

More bread.

Ye Xingchen and Su Liyue sighed in unison.

As an extraordinary and saintly expert, Ye Xingchen should have long since transcended the need for food.

However, ever since his soul had split in two, the female body of Su Liyue required sustenance to maintain its necessary human energy; otherwise, she would grow hungry.

It was unclear if this was due to an insufficient cultivation level.

Over time, even the male body of Ye Xingchen had developed the habit of accompanying “himself” for meals, as he would otherwise feel a lingering sense of hunger.

Habit was truly a frightening thing.

Su Liyue poked at the bread on her plate with a silver fork, her gaze distant.

At this moment, she yearned intensely for Earth’s hotpot, barbecue, and crayfish…

“What’s wrong? Is it not to your taste?” Mu Wanqing noticed Su Liyue’s unusual demeanor and asked softly.

“Nothing,” Su Liyue replied calmly, slicing her bread.

“I’m just pondering… whether the chefs of this world have some kind of obsession with ‘staple foods’.”

After all, in her previous life on Earth, her staple foods were either rice or noodles, and at worst, steamed buns.

Yet ever since arriving in this world, it had been almost daily bread with jam, or various kinds of roasted meat.

The only thing that still appealed to her palate was probably the teppanyaki-style grilled meat, similar to Earth’s steak, served with mashed potatoes and bread—at least that was palatable.

As for the rest… one could only say that this world’s seasonings were truly too scarce.

Without spices like chili, cumin, and Sichuan peppercorns, no matter how the food was prepared, its flavor always seemed somewhat bland.

Consequently, even after so many years, Su Liyue and Ye Xingchen had still not fully adapted to the culinary culture of this world.