Chapter 17: Long Road Ahead

First, let’s make one thing clear.

I judge what is good and evil by my own clear standards, and most of my judgments align with societal perceptions.

Because the part I lack is in the realm of empathy, not ethical judgment.

So, I was clearly aware that what I showed my younger brother was not goodwill, but a response that merely seemed moderately kind.

Isn’t that the kind of response one should typically show a normal child, according to societal perception?

I can assert that I stopped at just that level, and did not act as a nanny or a kindergarten teacher.

Yet, for my younger brother to show such a reaction, it must be one of two things.

Either the concept of kindness in this world is slightly different, or that boy, my younger brother, was in a state of lacking care.

Whatever the case, it’s an unsightly misunderstanding.

Because the compassion and kindness a monarch should possess must be, at most, superficial.

***

‘Well, that’s my philosophy for now, anyway.’

Knock, knock-

“Hmm, come in.”

I carefully folded the paper, on which the ink had dried sufficiently, to fit in the palm of one hand.

Since my younger brother had entered, it was necessary to convey facts that didn’t need to be known yet in this manner.

Along with my younger brother who had left, two more people enter.

Mary, slowly entering with a tray holding three teacups and a teapot, and-

“…I pay my respects to Her Highness, the next Grand Duke.”

The physician.

‘…I don’t remember her name.’

‘Because personally, I tended to remember people’s positions rather than their names.’

‘That way was easier for socially assessing the other person.’

‘In my past life, I used to memorize names because I often formed personal relationships… but here, it didn’t seem particularly necessary, so I hadn’t bothered.’

Anyway, this nameless physician was my most troublesome opponent.

Ah, to be precise.

“My, why are you suddenly using such high honorifics, Physician?”

“Please speak as you usually do.”

“I’d rather not receive such esteemed treatment from someone I should be respecting.”

“…How could a mere old woman like myself commit such rudeness to the new leader of the Weiss Duchy?”

“Rather, it is I who implores Lady Eleonora to speak comfortably.”

‘She was, indeed.’

‘If only one side held the leash, it would be a different story, but since both of us held a leash on the other, I had no reason to yield.’

‘Moreover, the one holding it tighter was me, not the physician.’

‘Because there was a clear difference between a terminal illness and the ability to make precious things terminal.’

“…If you insist on using honorifics, I won’t stop you. However, it seems it would be difficult for me to speak comfortably. If you are someone who has dedicated themselves to the Duchy, shouldn’t I naturally respect you, regardless of my position?”

Saying so, I give a faint smile.

‘What I was about to do would be quite a painful situation for an old woman, especially one who was once full of vigor.’

“First, please sit. It seems we have quite a lot to talk about, and wouldn’t it be uncomfortable for both of us to converse while you remain bowed like that indefinitely?”

While Mary slowly poured the tea, my younger brother and the physician sat in their respective seats.

My younger brother beside me, the physician in front of me.

Unlike my younger brother, who was sitting straight beside me and glaring at her, the physician’s shoulders were slumped to the point where she seemed unusually small today.

“…First, thank you for granting this old woman’s request for an audience, Lady Eleonora.”

“Surely- Naturally, I should see you, shouldn’t I? Who would ever turn away their own physician?”

“There’s no need to express gratitude for such trivial things.”

‘I prefer to speak directly, getting straight to the point.’

‘Due to that personality, beating around the bush and slowly disparaging the opponent isn’t my style, but….’

“Ah, come to think of it, I haven’t heard from my younger brother, but how long was I bedridden? My body feels stiff, so it doesn’t seem like it was a short time.”

‘This time, however, I needed to speak that way.’

‘To thoroughly irritate her and engrave upon that old woman’s mind who truly held the upper hand, and how she should conduct herself henceforth.’

“…You were bedridden for three days.”

‘Speaking indirectly and pointlessly like a difficult woman is something I dislike, but such things happen in life, I suppose.’

‘For now, being superficially a girl, I can speak like a woman, can’t I?’

‘…Although I have many concerns about that part, anyway.’

“Three days, you say. It seems my condition after the duel was truly terrible. Even now, it’s not so, ugh… good, though.”

I deliberately clutched the lower part of my neck and grimaced.

As if her disciple had truly inflicted a grave injury upon me.

“…Your body is severely weakened. You will need to recuperate for about a month.”

‘Of course, it was an undeniable fact that required no acting.’

‘I had only been continuously enduring the pain until now; it was true that my condition was actually wrecked.’

“Ah, is that so? Still, how fortunate it is that you are here, Physician. At least I won’t have to remain bedridden like this without recovering. I am always grateful for that.”

“…I merely fulfilled my role.”

“Your role, you say? It is I who should feel sorry for making someone who has sacrificed so much for the Duchy work harder because of my condition.

If I had my way, I would wish to send you off to spend your later years comfortably, but regrettably, my health shows no signs of improving lately, which is a pity.”

I continued to utter words full of empty formalities.

‘This was undoubtedly not the conversation the physician wanted.’

‘Because the reason she came here was, in fact, clear.’

‘Considering that the red-haired female knight who tried to kill me was the physician’s disciple, it was actually a simple matter.’

‘Although her arm was reattached with the Cardinal’s help, from the moment she fainted from shock until now, she was likely imprisoned.’

‘No matter how many spies swarmed the Duchy, as long as the Cardinal’s testimony existed, it would be extremely difficult for her to avoid execution.’

‘Regardless of whether she was a spy or not.’

“Rather than that, it seems there’s much to be done.”

“The Grand Duke’s position is already vacant, so it needs to be filled quickly… but due to an unnecessary accident, it has been delayed by about a month.”

‘In reality, if I just lifted a finger, this time it wouldn’t be an arm, but her neck that would fly.’

‘For the zealous ‘examiner’ who dedicated both arms to testing the next-generation knight, it would truly be a futile end.’

“…”

‘However, I was deliberately avoiding that topic.’

‘Instead of addressing it, I merely showered the physician with praise and gratitude.’

‘While subtly mentioning, here and there, what her disciple had done.’

“Originally, I intended to do just enough and stop, but it’s also regrettable in many ways that due to an unexpected incident, my younger brother couldn’t inherit the Grand Duke’s position.”

‘Her expression was still unreadable, but an ordinary person would probably be burning with anxiety.’

‘When what truly mattered to her was saving her disciple, the person before her who could decide her disciple’s fate was rambling on with long, drawn-out words.’

‘However, if the content of those words all dug into her sore spots, it would inevitably sound quite different.’

‘Would it sound something like, ‘I don’t doubt you who have dedicated yourself to the Grand Ducal family, but your disciple is a target that must be killed’?’

‘I have no talent for indirect speech, so I’m not certain, but this had to be the right way to do it.’

I swirled the silver spoon and took a sip of tea.

‘The fact that it had cooled slightly suggested I had been talking for quite some time.’

‘However, this was also sure proof that I was doing things correctly.’

‘Every single word I spoke was polite, carefully refined so that no one could find fault.’

‘The smile, gestures, even the curve of my eyes—I was conscious of and performing each one.’

‘The smile, which would normally be a sign of kindness and consideration, was, in this moment, the greatest poison to the old woman before me.’

‘Because she was the only person who knew my smile was false, and she was someone who found it quite uncomfortable.’

‘She would have realized that my continuing to show her that smile was not merely due to a comfortable habit.’

‘Not only that, but every element of the room must be uncomfortable for her.’

‘My younger brother, who has been glaring fiercely since earlier; me, speaking at length, oblivious to her inner turmoil; the continuously maintained false smile.’

‘Probably other things too were intensely provoking her and making her feel uneasy.’

‘Because that’s how it would be for an ordinary person.’

‘However, regardless of her feelings, I intended to continue with these words and this situation.’

“Still, what can be done?”

“Even if misfortunes keep occurring, I cannot just let go of everything-“

‘Until when?’

“…Lady Eleonora.”

‘Until that old woman, broken by her own impatience, spoke up herself.’

‘Whether she was tired of my lengthy speech, or because she realized I wouldn’t mention her disciple first, wasn’t very important.’

‘What was certain was that the physician, overcome with impatience, had just lost some of her resolve.’

Thump-

Her body lifted from the chair, and she knelt on the floor.

My younger brother looked somewhat surprised for reasons unknown, but I merely gazed at her calmly.

“Why are you suddenly doing th-.”

“…I know that my disciple has committed an indelible sin against the Duchy.”

‘It seemed to be the former, as her words came before I could even finish mine.’

‘Her appearance, looking quite desperate, was amusing enough that I considered seizing control of the conversation again, but a wave of annoyance washed over me, and I decided against it.’

“The sin of attempting to assassinate the Grand Duke’s daughter… I am well aware that it should rightly be punished by death.”

‘There was no reason to needlessly provoke a fish already caught, was there?’

‘If I played around with her unnecessarily and she suddenly went senile and emitted killing intent, it would only become more tiring.’

“However, that child, Sonia, is a precious disciple this old woman gained in her later years.”

“She is a child like a granddaughter, so precious and cherished that I would rather offer my own life.”

‘Because the purpose of this conversation was merely the task of making that old beast easier to use.’

‘As for pursuing amusement… Mary, who poured tea earlier and left, and was probably waiting outside, would be a suitable target for that.’

“…I will not ask for it to be undone. Forgiveness, I will desire even less. I only ask, for the sake of this pitiful old woman who will otherwise die desolate, that you spare her life.

I implore you, staking everything I have.”

‘I can think about that part slowly from now on.’

‘Because, in effect, the matter concerning this old woman was as good as finished.’

“…Please rise, Physician.”

“You can take my life instead, if you would just please spare hers-“

“…Even if you hadn’t implored me so, I already intended to do so.”

“…That, you mean to say.”

As she slowly raised her head, only then could I read her expression.

‘Desperation, such desperation that one wondered if there was any end to it—it was a face I had seen a few times in my past life as well.’

‘She wasn’t hiding it; she was simply a person whose facial expressions changed so little it was peculiar.’

‘As proof, even from that face that hadn’t changed much… such intense emotion was emanating that I wondered if I could even feel something like empathy.’

‘…Though that’s merely a figure of speech, of course.’

“Didn’t I say I only have things to be grateful for to you, Physician? My heart has been uneasy all this time, so I’m just glad to be able to repay you even a little with this opportunity.”

I rose from my seat and took her hand.

The smile was still maintained on my face.

“…Please rise.”

“It’s not very pleasant to see someone I respect on the cold floor like that.”

“Th-thank you. Lady Eleonora. For granting my request, thank you so much.”

She, who had risen holding my hand, bowed her head once more from that position.

‘The feeling of her rough hand touching mine wasn’t very pleasant, so even while smiling, I merely thought of the next sentence.’

“…However.”

At the same time, I firmly bent my ring finger.

‘It was indeed very convenient not to have to send a separate hand signal.’

‘Usually, it was a signal indicating the need to talk about my chronic illness, but this time, it was intended for a slightly different purpose.’

“While I can forgive her, it won’t be possible on the surface. There will likely be many who oppose it. Therefore, in that regard, I would like you, Physician, to step forward a little.”

Slightly unclenching my fist, I placed the piece of paper I had been gripping tightly into the physician’s hand.

“…What, sort of thing.”

“Two things will suffice. First, since I cannot act as Grand Duke right now, I intend to refer her case to a trial.”

‘Of course, if you include what I just handed over, it would be three things.’

“And, in that process, I would like you, Physician, to testify.”

“I will do anything. Since it concerns this old woman’s disciple, naturally I-“

‘And none of them were easy tasks.’

“Ah! Of course, on the side that proves her guilt.”

‘For starters, the first one was to this extent, right?’

As soon as I finished speaking, the physician’s face changed distinctly.

‘Watching someone whose expression rarely changed become extremely shaken was a truly delightful sight.’

‘And the fact that there were still two more things remaining was also quite—’

“…What… do you… mean by that?”

‘—an anticipation-inducing affair, I supposed.’