Chapter 17: The Art of Negotiation (and Absurdity)

His foul mouth definitely felt like it was shortening my lifespan, but his gameplay was so clean it was flawless. No, calling it flawless wasn’t enough; it was miraculous. Talking to him felt like eating a million dry sweet potatoes without water, but watching him play felt like downing a cold soda in one gulp—refreshing and sharp.

Maybe if he just fixed his tone, he’d actually be decent company?

“Hey.”

“What?”

“……Never mind.”

If years of gaming had taught me anything, it was that once someone is a certified lunatic, no amount of effort will turn them back into a normal person. The probability of someone as far gone as Sephiroth returning to sanity was effectively zero.

Right. Don’t be seduced by his god-tier controls. It was only right to cut ties with this guy after this quest. I’d have one final 1:1 duel, then drop him.

The final boss only had a couple of additional patterns compared to the mid-boss; the difficulty jump wasn’t that high. Since I could only deal 1 damage no matter how hard I hit, the final boss—who lacked an instant-death move—was actually easier for me than the mid-boss.

[My blood shall curse you!]

Along with the boss’s dying scream, its house-sized body shattered into a shower of sparks. I ignored the spectacular disappearance and opened my inventory. There they were: two Tears of a Dead Wildflower.

The guide had called them wildflowers, so I expected plants, but the items were actually jewels—a mysterious blend of black and red. Naturally, they were bound to my account; no trading or transferring allowed.

Well, with gems like these, I can see why the NPCs would be satisfied. Humans—and slugs, apparently—instantly lose their minds over shiny things. Makes sense.

“Thanks. I can finally finish the quest because of you.”

“Just make sure you focus during the PVP later.”

“Alright, alright. You really love bullying newbies, don’t you?”

Sephiroth let out a short laugh at my grumbling. I couldn’t see his face behind the pitch-black helmet, but I could tell he was enjoying himself.

What an incomprehensible human being. His nickname was apparently a mix of “Berserker” and “Psychopath”—Berserkopath—and I finally understood why.

<Would you like to leave the party?>

I left the party before heading back to town. I didn’t want to deal with the guards again. I’m the most innocent, pure-hearted player in this game; it’s ridiculous that I should be mercilessly hunted just for being in a party with this lunatic.

“Are you following me?”

“Yeah.”

Sephiroth nodded lightly. Knowing he was the type to ignore me even if I told him to get lost, I just sighed and nodded back. Do whatever you want. After this quest, I was never involving myself with him again.

Still… it had been fun.

To be honest, the monsters in the beginner zone lacked any sense of impact. Smacking slimes that were peacefully roaming the fields made me feel like a bully. They were just trying to make a living in the grass; did I really have to beat up creatures that didn’t even attack me just for some “Slime Essence”?

That was why I liked the aggressive mobs in the high-level dungeons. At least those guys swung first. They gave me a perfectly valid reason to kill them. Their attacks were diverse, making it feel like I was fighting a professional. It’s always cooler to face a strong opponent than to pick on the weak.

“Hey, thanks.”

Thinking about it that way, I was actually grateful he followed me all this way. Despite everything, he was a great walkthrough who guided me through every pattern.

My expression of gratitude must have been unexpected, as Sephiroth glanced at me sideways.

Don’t get used to it. I’m not saying it twice.

We took the warp gate back to the beginner village. A small crowd gathered near the gate started to approach me, but they scattered like leaves in the wind the moment they saw Sephiroth behind me. Is this what a fox feels like when it borrows a tiger’s authority? I decided to poke at the local bully.

“Seeing those newbies terrified of you… don’t you feel anything?”

“It’s convenient. The flies disappear on their own.”

“I’m done talking to you.”

There was no way a guy like this possessed a conscience. Zelpia had been out for years, so new players were a rare resource, but he treated them like trash. As someone who had witnessed the rise and fall of countless MMOs, I couldn’t understand his logic. If there are no new players, the game stagnates and dies.

After strictly warning him not to go on a random Orc-killing spree, I headed to the cave where the Slug Queen resided. Sephiroth’s massive frame followed a step behind me. Despite his heavy iron armor and size, his footsteps were as silent as an assassin’s.

“Why did you choose Dual Blade?” Sephiroth asked from behind.

When I first picked my class, I hadn’t hesitated. Warriors with thick shields were not my style, nor were cowardly long-range dealers who just pecked from afar. For a true gamer, a melee dealer who relies on speed and control is the only way to go.

“Because it looks stylish.”

And the design was sleek.

“What about you? Why did you pick Berserker?”

It seemed like a perfect fit for him, but I asked anyway. A warrior, but a crazy one. A gamer, but a crazy one. That was Sephiroth. His playstyle was the essence of a Berserker; I wouldn’t be surprised if that was his actual profession in real life.

Sephiroth paused to think for a moment.

“Because I want to kill everyone.”

“I shouldn’t have asked.”

Please stop saying such terrifying things with that pleasant voice. He really had a talent for making people’s skin crawl. You’d think he had a grudge against the whole world.

I was beginning to suspect Sephiroth had a severe case of “Chunibyo”—that middle-school syndrome where you think you’re a dark hero. Most people grow out of that, but occasionally, an adult like Sephiroth carries the disease into maturity. If this weren’t a VR game that scanned personal IDs, I’d have bet anything he was a middle-schooler using his parents’ account.

We entered the damp cave. The Slug Queen sat in the same spot as before. Having done this a few times, I was getting the hang of roleplaying with NPCs.

“Your Majesty. Your humble servant has returned.”

“Oh. It is you. But… what is with that bizarre way of speaking?”

……Never mind.

Next to me, Sephiroth started laughing on mute. I could feel my face turning beet-red with embarrassment. Look, she’s a Queen! I was just trying to be respectful! How was I supposed to know she’d find it weird? I thought I had to match the vibe!

“You’ve got a real talent for acting. Want me to recommend an acting school?”

“I don’t need one!”

The urge to smack the back of Sephiroth’s head as he giggled and mocked me was becoming overwhelming. I’m usually good at controlling my temper while gaming, but since meeting him, I feel my blood pressure spike five times a day. Make that six.

“Have you dealt with those atrocious villains?” the Queen asked.

I turned back to her. That’s why I was here. But as I reached into my inventory, Sephiroth stopped me.

“Make up a good excuse. This isn’t just a standard online game.”

“Since when did you start being helpful?”

“You dragged me through that boring ruins twice because you asked. If you fail and ask me to go again, it’ll be a pain.”

Listen to this guy.

But he wasn’t wrong. This VR game had such high freedom that it felt excessively realistic. If some NPCs ignored you because they didn’t like your tone, there were definitely NPCs who would reject a quest if the reasoning wasn’t convincing.

“There is an old saying: If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to them the other also.”

“What are you doing?” Sephiroth wheezed from behind me, but I ignored him. Hey, you told me to make up a reason. I’ll say whatever I want.

“Revenge only breeds more revenge. Especially if a blood feud begins from a misunderstanding, the tragedy only deepens.”

“What is it you are trying to say?”

Unlike Sephiroth, who was practically leaning against the wall in a fit of silent hysterics, the Slug Queen was listening quite seriously. Fine. Who cares about Sephiroth? As long as the NPC is convinced. I cleared my throat, trying to sound as solemn as possible as I opened my inventory.

“I will take responsibility and resolve this issue so that the Slug-kind sheds no more innocent blood. In exchange for this small token of sincerity, would you not overlook the unfortunate events born from past misunderstandings? I know an object cannot cover the cost of innocent lives, but I cannot stand by and watch this cycle of misery continue.”

Did that sound plausible?