Chapter 18: The Cockroach Conundrum

After lunch, students began to make their way, two and three at a time, towards the dormitory area.

Su Liyue, with a natural grace, linked arms with Mu Wanqing as they passed through an archway draped in magical vines, finding herself once again silently marveling at Starfall Academy’s luxurious accommodation.

A single dormitory room housed only two students!

Each room even boasted its own private bathroom—could you believe it!

There was even a small balcony and a magical washing machine!

If such amenities were available on Earth, they would undoubtedly be highlighted in bold red on any prestigious university’s admissions brochure.

She still vividly remembered her past life on Earth, crammed into a six-person dormitory.

Securing a spot in the shared bathroom felt like a battle!

Hanging laundry was akin to a game of Jenga!

And to make matters worse, there was no air conditioning in the summer, often waking her at least three times a night from the heat.

As for washing machines, one could forget about them; they were perpetually occupied, and even then, one had to exchange coins to use them.

“Yueyue? Are you alright? What are you staring at that laundry pod for?” Mu Wanqing gently shook her arm.

“Ah…” Su Liyue suddenly snapped back to reality, pointing to the metal barrel in the corner etched with water element runes.

“I was just thinking, this thing is far more advanced than anything back home.”

Mu Wanqing tilted her head in confusion, asking,

“Your ‘home’… are you still using a washboard there?”

“No, to be precise, it was more like using a roommate’s back,” Su Liyue replied, gazing profoundly at the ceiling as she recalled. (TL Note: Kinda sounds like washing machine)

“A roommate’s back?!” Mu Wanqing’s cowlick shot upright with a ‘whoosh,’ and the mini-drama in her mind began to play out once more, immediately conjuring a bizarre image of some primitive tribe still using human backs as washboards.

“Cough! I meant…”

Su Liyue, realizing her friend’s imagination had run wild, slammed on the brakes and hastily clarified.

“A magical item… shaped like a washboard!”

Inwardly, she was panicking; that was a close call, she almost led her best friend astray!

At that moment, the cicadas outside the window suddenly grew clearer.

As Su Liyue gazed at the shimmering dust-repelling barrier on the balcony, she was momentarily transported back to a sweltering summer night from her Earth days as a student:

The six-person dorm’s electric fan whirring ceaselessly, the thunderous snores of her bunkmate below piercing through the bed frame, and herself frantically rushing to finish a paper by the glow of her phone screen…

Having ascended to the Spirit Realm nearly a millennium ago, the cultivation grandmaster Ye Xingchen had long since transcended the mundane world.

Yet, at this moment, as he controlled Su Liyue’s body, a phantom sensation of laundry detergent inexplicably bloomed on his fingertips.

“Yueyue?”

Mu Wanqing waved a hand in front of her eyes, asking,

“Why are your eyes suddenly red?”

“It’s nothing.”

Su Liyue quickly wiped away her tears, turned, and pulled open the wardrobe, pretending to tidy her school uniform.

“I just suddenly remembered… a certain idiot needs to put on sunscreen!” She grabbed a magical sachet and hurled it out the window.

Ye Xingchen, currently baking in the corridor’s sun, felt a vein throb on his forehead.

‘The tear ducts of this female body are far too developed! Why do they just start crying like that?’

With a subtle shimmer of spatial power from Ye Xingchen’s fingertips, the magical sachet vanished from the girls’ dormitory, reappearing silently in the palm of his hand where he stood in punishment.

“Yueyue, the idiot you mentioned couldn’t possibly be…” Before Mu Wanqing could finish her sentence, she suddenly shrieked and leaped up: “Heavens! A Xiaoqiang (TL Note: A common colloquial term for cockroach in Chinese)!”

“Xiaoqiang?!” Su Liyue instantly perked up.

After so many years of transmigrating to this otherworld, she still hadn’t encountered an alien cockroach.

Back then, she had even curiously recounted tales of Xiaoqiang to Mu Wanqing, and now… she would finally get to witness a native cockroach?

She also remembered how, when telling Mu Wanqing bedtime stories about Earth, she had deliberately described Xiaoqiang in the most exaggerated terms:

How they were dark and slimy, loved to burrow into dim corners, possessed incredibly tenacious vitality, preferred to develop stealthily, and had super-strong reproductive capabilities!

Yet, when she excitedly followed Mu Wanqing’s trembling finger, Su Liyue froze.

‘Is this seriously a joke? How is this a Xiaoqiang?!’

There, a grey, furry creature with round ears and a large tail sat, staring blankly while clutching a biscuit crumb.

Su Liyue: “…”

‘Isn’t that Jerry from “Tom and Jerry,” for crying out loud?!’

“Qingqing…”

She took a deep breath.

“You call that a Xiaoqiang? Then when you see an orange cat, will you call it Wangcai (TL Note: A common auspicious name for pets in Chinese, often associated with dogs)?”

“Wangcai?!” Mu Wanqing clutched her pillow in terror.

“Do orange cats really have such terrifying names?!”

She shrieked, pointing at the fluffy rat:

“And how is it not terrifying! Look how dark and sneaky it is!”

Su Liyue immediately slapped a hand to her forehead.

This girl’s fear filter must have been diamond-encrusted, as terrifying as the multiple lenses in a fly’s eye!

“Listen closely, Qingqing!” She grabbed Mu Wanqing by the shoulders, listing them off like precious treasures:

“The chubby orange cat is called Garfield!

The blue and white cat is called Tom!

The red cat who knows swordsmanship is called Hongmao, and he even has a partner named Lantou (TL Note: Characters from the popular Chinese animated series ‘Rainbow Cat and Blue Rabbit Legend’)!”

Finally, she pointed at the trembling rat and roared:

“And this is Jerry!”

A dull thud suddenly echoed from the corridor as Ye Xingchen leaned against the wall, a look of utter despair on his face.

‘Ever since transmigrating to this world, it feels like his common sense is being reset daily.

The rat named Jerry suddenly stood upright on two feet, its fluffy little paws reaching behind its back.

“Whoosh!”

With surprising politeness, it produced a mini cheese.

It then bowed gracefully before casually breaking the cheese in half and gesturing for them to take it.

Mu Wanqing: “…Was it mocking us just now?”

“No!” Su Liyue exclaimed, pointing frantically out the window.

“I think the Jerrys in this world have all become spirits!”

She suddenly remembered something and added:

“That hamster baby you traded three crystal puddings for… Wasn’t it just standing guard in its spirit ball, holding up a ‘Please Feed Me’ sign?!”

As if to confirm their words, a commotion suddenly erupted downstairs from the dormitory.

A Jerry was seen riding on the back of a Garfield cat, its front paws waving a small flag conspicuously embroidered with:

[Please Feed Me]

“Th-this is…” Mu Wanqing’s voice trembled.

“This is an uprising!” Su Liyue watched, utterly dumbfounded.

Downstairs, chaos had long since ensued:

Some students were frantically snapping photos with recording crystals, and a few even attempted to converse with the hamster using their familiars, while the orange cat obligingly let out a ‘meow,’ as if saying, ‘Follow me, little ones.’

“Silence, all of you!”

The dormitory supervisor, brandishing his magic staff, rushed into the crowd, his robes askew from his haste.

“Who permitted you to hold an animal parade in the dormitory building?!”

He grabbed the orange cat by the scruff of its neck, but then.

“Whoosh!”

With a nimble maneuver, the Jerry landed precisely on the dormitory supervisor’s pointed magic hat, its tiny flag plunging ‘plop’ into the brim’s folds, swaying rhythmically with the supervisor’s furious head turns, looking exactly like a miniature surrender flag.

“You’re rebelling!” The supervisor’s staff instantly burst forth with a green light. “Gale Force Spell!”

“Squeak—!”

The “Jerry” tragically transformed into a grey meteor, spinning as it flew towards the distant grass.

“And you lot!” The supervisor grabbed the scruff of the orange cat, which had been trying to sneak away, and the fat cat immediately cowered into a ball of fur.

“Gathering in the middle of the day to study familiars?”

He pointed to the corridor with a cold sneer.

“Anyone who doesn’t want to nap, go stand at attention with Ye Xingchen in the corridor!”

“Whoosh—”

The crowd instantly erupted into chaos, scattering and fleeing in all directions.

A few slower students even fled with their familiars perched on their heads, looking like a modern-day rendition of street vendors caught by city management for illegal hawking.

Mu Wanqing clung to the window, gasping softly, “‘So this Garfield is the supervisor’s familiar?!'”

“No…”

Su Liyue watched the orange cat, tucked under the supervisor’s armpit and frantically winking at them, and said gravely:

“I strongly suspect his Garfield is actually an undercover agent.”

In the corridor, Ye Xingchen gazed at the dozen or so new ‘brothers in adversity’ who had suddenly appeared, and let out a faint sigh:

“Welcome to the… Photosynthesis Experience Camp.”

However, his only reply was a chorus of bitter laughter.

(Tl Note: Should I reduce the amount of notes for chinese jokes? or should i try to localize them? let me know in the comments)