Chapter 19 Part 2: Wedding Day Gambit

As Si Yan had predicted, Yan Mingxi had indeed come to seek her assistance.

She wished to learn of Cheng Wenque’s preferences so she might send him gifts and draw closer to him.

 

Pu Jinyu had not yet taken her morning meal.

The young maids laid out the dishes, and Yan Mingxi joined her in eating a little, though she consumed very little food.

She chattered incessantly, unable to stop.

 

When she finally tired and paused to drink some tea, Pu Jinyu seized the opportunity to ask directly.

“Does my young sister-in-law hold Master Cheng in high regard?”

 

At this sudden question, Yan Mingxi’s face flushed crimson.

“Sister-in-law, what… what are you saying?”

 

Though no one else was present, the question was far too direct!

 

“I do not…”

The words “I do not” lingered on her tongue but would not emerge.

She drew a deep breath and leaned close, lowering her voice.

“Is it that obvious?”

 

Pu Jinyu looked at her, so solemn and alarmed, and felt an unexpected urge to laugh.

She did laugh, and then countered with a question of her own.

“What do you think?”

 

Anyone in the Yan household with eyes could see how she felt about Cheng Wenque.

The fourth young lady of the capital’s foremost noble house, chasing after a man of humble origins—

It had drawn considerable attention from the servants.

 

“Very well.”

Yan Mingxi bit her lip.

Her face grew even redder with embarrassment.

“I suppose it is rather obvious.”

 

She steeled herself.

“Sister-in-law, since you have perceived it, I will not hide it from you.

I do like him.

I liked him from the very first moment I saw him.”

 

From the very first moment?

Pu Jinyu ate her meal with deliberate slowness.

“Because of Master Cheng’s appearance?”

 

Cheng Wenque was indeed exceptionally handsome.

Within the entire capital, he could rival even Yan Chiyun.

 

His features resembled those of her adopted brother.

In years past, her adopted brother had been much sought after in their village.

Many farming households had come to inquire about his marriage prospects.

 

Later, she had been forced to leave the village.

She did not know how he fared now.

Perhaps he had already married and had children.

She only wondered whom he had wed.

 

“At first sight, it was indeed because of his appearance.”

She acknowledged that, in all the capital, her elder brother’s looks were already extraordinary.

But she had not expected that her third brother’s friend would prove equally handsome.

 

More importantly, though Cheng Wenque came from a humble background, his manners were impeccable.

He was neither obsequious nor arrogant, cultured and refined, and exceptionally diligent.

Even her mother had praised his conduct as commendable.

This had deepened her regard for him.

 

Whenever she thought of him, everything about him seemed admirable.

The corners of her mouth could not help but curve into a besotted smile.

 

“Later… it was not only because of his appearance.”

 

In her heart, words flowed like a river in spate.

But when she actually opened her mouth, she could only stammer incoherently.

Her face burned as though it might bleed.

 

Yan Mingxi had never treated her poorly.

As a sister-in-law, she was decent enough.

 

Pu Jinyu looked at her and, though reluctant to dampen her spirits, recalled what she herself must do in the days ahead.

She offered a veiled warning.

“Master Cheng’s family background is meager.

Even if he succeeds in the examinations, young sister-in-law, you are not suited to him.”

 

After all, the Yan household was of the highest standing.

Even most noble families could not match it.

 

“His ancestors’ poverty has nothing to do with him.

I do not see the difficulty.

It is merely that he was not born into a fortunate family.

If he had been born into wealth and status, perhaps I would not even like him.

Can one choose where one is born?

I do not think we should judge by family background…”

 

The person she liked was Cheng Wenque of Lanling, the man standing before her now.

 

At her mention of birth, Pu Jinyu’s thoughts drifted unbidden into the distance.

 

In the memories of her childhood, her mother had often spoken of birth.

Her mother had wanted a son.

But she had not been a son.

 

To use her as a stepping stone into the Pu household, her mother had bribed the midwife.

She had reported the birth of a boy.

 

From childhood, she had been raised as a son.

As soon as she could walk and run, her mother dressed her in boys’ clothing and made her disguise herself.

Thus she sought to please her biological father, to draw him to visit more often.

 

Each time her father came and went, her mother would gaze at her face and murmur, “If only you were truly a son.”

 

As a young child, she had been deeply dependent on her mother.

She had not understood the true meaning behind those words—the disdain, the regret they carried.

She had accepted her mother’s explanations without question.

 

Her mother’s words were always so pleasant to hear.

She would say that if she were a son, the path ahead would be less difficult.

She claimed to pity her for being a girl, and a pretty one at that.

A girl born to an unacknowledged mother had no standing.

She would only be ostracized, bullied, and reviled.

Thus, she made her wear boys’ clothing.

 

Recalling all this now, Pu Jinyu felt only the depth of her own foolishness.

Her pace of eating slowed, then slowed further.

Thoughts of her mother’s false affection stirred something within her.

It turned her stomach.

She felt physically ill.

 

In her heart, she laughed coldly.

Her mother had never worried about her daughter’s future.

She had worried only about her own path to wealth and glory.

 

In recent days, she had received her mother’s letters with indifference.

She read them and burned them.

She sent no reply.

She did not, as in the past, send money or food.

 

Never again would she offer a shred of kindness to this woman unworthy of the name of mother.

 

In her previous life, her mother had used her so thoroughly, discarded her so many times.

Even after her death, she had cursed her for dying too soon.

What malice.

What venom.

 

The more she remembered, the less she could eat.

She set down her bowl and chopsticks.

 

“Sister-in-law, what… what is wrong?”

Yan Mingxi had noticed the change in her expression.

 

Pu Jinyu startled back to the present.

She smiled and said it was nothing.

“I am still somewhat sluggish from sleep, perhaps.”

 

“Oh, I see.”

Yan Mingxi advised that if she felt unwell, she should summon a physician to be safe.

 

Pu Jinyu reassured her and urged her to continue.

 

Perhaps because Pu Jinyu had always been understanding and a good listener, Yan Mingxi poured out her heart like beans from a sack.

 

Pu Jinyu appeared to listen.

She looked into the other’s eyes and responded at appropriate moments.

But in truth, her mind wandered.

She was thinking of matters within the Pu household.

 

Her rebelliousness had provoked her legal mother’s hatred.

Now that she wore her elder sister’s identity, her legal mother could not move against her directly.

An occasional curse was permissible, but true action was impossible.

 

That day, when anger had overcome her and she had struck and made her kneel, she had nearly been discovered by Yan Chiyun.

After that close call, she would not act rashly again.

 

Unable to strike at her directly, she would surely strike at her weakness.

She would strike at her mother.

Behind her father’s back, she would inflict countless torments.

 

But even if her mother whispered in her father’s ear, he would not intervene on her behalf.

In his eyes, an unacknowledged concubine with no family backing counted for nothing.

 

It was time her mother experienced the kind of life she had lived in her previous life.

The kind of suffering she had endured.

 

But this was not enough.

Not nearly enough.

 

***

 

“Sister-in-law… do you like my elder brother?”

 

Yan Chiyun had just returned from seeing his father when he reached the threshold and heard Yan Mingxi pose this question.

 

Instinctively, he halted.

He raised his hand to forestall the young maids who would have announced his presence.

His gaze turned inward, passing through the gently swaying strings of beads and jade, and fixed upon the seated young woman’s back.

 

“What?” Pu Jinyu’s voice held a note of inquiry.

How had the conversation suddenly turned to her and Yan Chiyun?

They had been discussing Cheng Wenque.

 

“Sister-in-law, you have been married to my elder brother for more than three years now.

Do you like him?”

 

Like him?

What a question.

Of course she did not.

 

Yan Chiyun was indeed young and accomplished, exceptional in every way.

But for her, he stirred nothing.

Reborn into this life, her heart had long since grown cold.

It would never stir again.

 

Pu Jinyu was about to deflect the question when her gaze, shifting, caught his reflection in the bronze mirror.

 

Her eyes stilled for an instant.

Then she lowered them.

When she lifted her gaze again, she was smiling.

“My husband is exceptional.

Of course I love him with all my heart.”

 

Yan Mingxi was not surprised by this answer.

It seemed only natural.

 

After all, her elder brother was foremost among the capital’s young noblemen.

Now he held great power.

Few young ladies of noble birth did not admire him.

If not for the long-standing betrothal between the Pu and Yan households, there would surely have been many who openly sought his hand.

 

Even with the betrothal in place, some had privately sounded out her mother’s intentions.

They hoped the Pu-Yan match might fail, leaving an opening for them.

 

Knowing that her mother entertained thoughts of a secondary wife for her elder brother, some noble families had even made oblique inquiries on behalf of their legitimate daughters.

 

“Sister-in-law, you are fortunate.

You can spend your life with the one you love with all your heart, bear his children, raise his family.

But I…”

 

She understood everything Pu Jinyu had said.

Even if Cheng Wenque passed the examinations and obtained an official post, it was highly unlikely her parents would consent.

 

His family background was indeed too meager.

She might not value his origins, but that did not mean her parents would overlook them.

Moreover, the greatest problem now was that Cheng Wenque did not like her.

 

At first, he had been courteous and polite.

Now, for reasons unknown, he actively avoided her.

He made excuses about needing to focus on his studies and prepare for the examinations.

 

If he spoke thus, what could she do?

Pursue him aggressively?

She had already been pursuing him.

 

Yan Mingxi’s complaints showed no sign of ending.

Pu Jinyu played her part and sighed.

“What use is it that I love my husband with all my heart?

He does not rejoice in me.”

 

At these words, the man beyond the threshold frowned slightly.

She believed he did not rejoice in her?

 

“Sister-in-law, you…”

He had expected his fourth sister to correct her.

But instead, she offered comfort.

“Sister-in-law, do not be too sad.

My elder brother is indifferent toward everyone.

And have you two not grown quite… close lately?”

 

She recalled the marks she had glimpsed upon Pu Jinyu’s body.

It was hard to imagine that her elder brother, so cold and restrained, could leave such vivid traces.

The pressure must have been considerable to leave marks so distinct.

 

At this thought, Yan Mingxi felt somewhat embarrassed.

Embarrassment aside, her gaze could not help but drift toward Pu Jinyu’s covered form.

But everything was concealed now, and she could see nothing.

 

“It is only for the sake of producing an heir.”

Pu Jinyu maintained her pose of bitter resignation.

 

“Siste—”

Before she could finish, Yan Mingxi caught sight of a tall figure entering through the threshold.

She hastily changed course.

“Elder Brother…”

“Why have you come, Elder Brother?”

 

No, this was his courtyard.

Yan Mingxi nearly bit her tongue.

She smiled awkwardly.

“Elder Brother, you have returned.”

 

“Well… I have matters to attend to.

Sister-in-law, I will take my leave.”

 

She had no idea how long he had been standing there or how much he had heard.

If he learned the purpose of her visit…

He would surely scold her!

 

Yan Mingxi, close to Yan Huaixiao and deeply afraid of Yan Chiyun, stammered a few awkward words and fled as though her feet were greased.

Pu Jinyu called after her, but she did not dare respond.

 

She turned to face the man’s gaze.

She inclined her body in a formal greeting and smiled.

“Has my husband taken his morning meal?”

 

Yan Chiyun looked at the young woman’s smiling countenance.

He recalled the words he had overheard.

She had praised him as exceptional.

She had said she loved him with all her heart.

 

But he could not feel it.

 

Even on those passionate, fiery nights, he had scarcely felt her joy in him.

 

Most of the time, when he spoke to her, she responded with indifference, if at all.

 

Was this “loving with all one’s heart”?

He thought even one percent, even a fraction, would be too much to claim.

The affection she professed always seemed tinged with something strange, something distant.

He could not articulate exactly what felt wrong, but something was amiss.

It unsettled him.

 

“Husband?”

 

Pu Jinyu had already guessed why he stared at her without speaking.

But she continued to feign ignorance.

 

Yan Chiyun sensed his emotions stir at her simple utterance.

He only said that he had already eaten.

Then he took his attendants and went to the study.

 

Pu Jinyu’s gaze followed his retreating figure for a long moment before she looked away.

 

***

 

After these interruptions, she had lost her appetite.

She instructed the maids to clear the table and directed Si Yan to summon the matrons for their daily reports.

 

The day after tomorrow was the wedding feast.

Madam Yan had repeatedly emphasized that no errors could be tolerated.

 

Even though this might well be her last major task as mistress of the Yan household, she remained committed to playing her final role flawlessly.

She could not afford to reveal herself.

Not when she was so close to her goal.

 

***

 

Back in the study, Yan Chiyun sat at his desk, brush in hand.

But his thoughts wandered, drifting constantly toward the outer chambers.

 

The study adjoined the inner chamber.

Though Madam Pu kept her voice low when speaking with the matrons, his hearing was exceptionally sharp.

He could still catch her soft murmurings.

 

He thought of what she had said.

He wondered why she believed he did not rejoice in her.

And why, if she truly loved him with all her heart, he could not feel it?

If her love were truly so profound, would he not sense it?

 

At night, in their bed, Madam Pu was certainly passionate.

But her passion always felt as though it arose not from affection for him, but from a desire to perform the act itself.

As though she wished to do this thing, and so did it with him.

 

If she wished to do this thing, would she seek out another to do it with?

 

At this thought, his expression shifted abruptly.

What was he thinking?

How could he imagine Pu Wange would betray him?

 

Impossible.

Not only was she not that sort of person, but their marriage also bound two great houses.

How could she, simply because she wished to perform that act, seek out another?

 

This was absurd.

He could not think this way.

It was disrespectful, dishonorable.

Yan Chiyun silently condemned himself.

 

Speaking of heirs…

When they had begun, it had indeed been for the sake of producing children that they shared a bed so frequently.

But now…

 

The more he thought, the more disordered his mind became.

His brow furrowed slightly.

He pressed his fingers to his temples.

What was wrong with him?

 

Here, in broad daylight, in his study surrounded by official documents, he was lost in such thoughts.

Trapped by his own emotions.

All because of a single sentence from her.

 

Enough.

 

Yan Chiyun forced himself to focus, to concentrate on the weighty matters before him.

 

***

 

Pu Jinyu had just finished reviewing accounts with the matrons when a young maidservant arrived from Madam Yan.

Guests had arrived, and she was needed in the front hall to assist with conversation and entertainment.

 

With the wedding imminent, those unable to attend would often send advance congratulations.

There was much to manage.

 

Pu Jinyu closed the account books.

She instructed Si Yan to oversee matters in the storehouse.

Then she proceeded to the front hall.

 

She was occupied there until after the evening meal before she could return.

 

Yan Chiyun remained at home, but his official duties consumed him.

Moreover, today’s visitors were women, so he did not appear at the evening meal.

 

When Pu Jinyu returned, he was still in the study.

 

She asked Si Yan and learned that he had already eaten.

She went to bathe first.

 

When she emerged, Yan Chiyun was still occupied.

She looked at the new accounts that had been delivered for a while.

Then she went to bed.

 

Yan Chiyun heard the sounds from the outer chamber.

 

He did not know why, but his emotions remained troubled.

Until he could untangle them, he preferred not to face her directly.

He did not want her to see his confusion.

 

He wished he could simply ask her outright.

But he feared the answer might not be what he wished to hear.

 

Like last time, when he had tried to bathe her and she had refused.

She would not let him see her face without cosmetics.

 

Madam Pu had always understood boundaries.

Perhaps she thought, as he did, that even the most intimate spouses should maintain certain limits.

 

He could not overstep.

He might provoke her aversion.

 

She had said he held no affection for her, that he did not rejoice in her.

Perhaps his actions had simply failed to convey his feelings.

 

If he paid her more attention in the future, surely she would not speak thus to his younger sister.

And his sister had concurred with her assessment.

This indicated that the fault was indeed his, and rather obvious.

 

As her husband, he had been remiss.

He must be more attentive in future.

 

At this thought, his emotions finally settled somewhat.

 

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