Chapter 20: Awakening to the Aftermath

Jung Hanseol awoke with a jolt, his eyes snapping open as if desperate to escape a nightmare. He immediately sat upright, his gaze darting around the room. The space wasn’t entirely unfamiliar, yet it wasn’t quite known to him either, filled only with a chilling silence.

……

The cold, stark room, devoid of any color beyond black and white, was none other than the team leader’s office. It was a space that perfectly mirrored Ryu Yishin himself, evoking his usual demeanor and icy tone. With only a desk, a chair, a sofa, a table, and a sparsely filled bookshelf, the vast room felt even more desolate and empty.

Scanning his surroundings, Jung Hanseol realized the office’s owner was absent. It seemed he had been the only one luxuriating on the black leather sofa, sound asleep.

Though no one was there to witness it, a flush of embarrassment still crept over him. Jung Hanseol belatedly rubbed his eyes, shaking off the lingering vestiges of sleep as he surveyed the room once more. His gaze landed on the wall clock, its hour hand resting on nine and minute hand on four. Observing the light filtering through the blinds, he roughly estimated the current time.

He had arrived at the office from the hospital shortly after seven, and not long after, he had been summoned to Ryu Yishin’s office. Therefore, it must now be past nine in the morning.

‘But why did I fall asleep here?’

Stretching his stiff body to loosen up, Jung Hanseol tried to recall the reason for his slumber. However, he soon froze, his arms still extended in mid-air.

‘I need guiding, so open your mouth.’

As that domineering voice, chilling enough to send shivers down his spine, vividly resurfaced, Jung Hanseol’s cheeks, neck, and even the tips of his ears instantly flushed crimson. He squeezed his eyes shut, memories replaying in his mind, causing his heart to pound and his entire body to thrum.

‘Focus properly.’

No sooner had that low command ended than Ryu Yishin relentlessly delved between his awkwardly parted lips. The cool hand around his nape, the tangle of tongues and lips, the overwhelming hot breath that felt like it was pouring into him…

Haa…

As the memories flooded back, Jung Hanseol buried his face in his hands with a sigh, then roughly rubbed his face, exhaling deeply again and again. At the time, he had been so tense in front of Ryu Yishin, his mind quickly becoming hazy as if being pulled into a void, making it impossible to grasp the situation. Now, in a calmer state, recalling those moments made him wonder what exactly had transpired.

‘We’re not even dating… and I kissed my team leader.’

‘Aside from everything else, I haven’t known Team Leader Ryu for long, and we don’t know each other well at all…’

Jung Hanseol was naturally shy, timid, and easily frightened, so much so that he couldn’t even properly speak to a girl he liked in his class. He had always been a quiet, model student, never causing trouble at the orphanage or school, always obedient to adults, and consistently maintaining top grades. For Jung Hanseol, who had lived under such labels, today’s events felt like the first transgression of his entire life.

‘This is the first time my lips have touched anyone else’s like this… Is this really okay…?’

……

Regardless of his will, the memory and its sensations vividly resurfaced, making his heart pound and his entire body burn as if scorched by fire. The feeling still clung to every nerve, sending tingling shocks down his spine.

His palm, which Ryu Yishin had kneaded for so long, still throbbed and ached as if under pressure. Jung Hanseol clenched and unclenched his left hand, the one Ryu Yishin hadn’t let go of, as if to confirm it was still intact, biting his lower lip lightly. While it seemed fine, moving as he willed, he couldn’t understand why these strange sensations lingered like phantom pains, tormenting him.

……

He knew, intellectually, that even if it was guiding, physical contact between an Esper and a Guide held no meaning beyond the act of guiding itself. He was well aware, from years of indoctrination, that gender, age, or personal preference didn’t significantly matter in such contexts. However, accepting it as an entirely separate matter was proving to be a different challenge altogether.

Having not been employed for long, and having only ever performed indirect guiding—save for a single instance—made his current predicament even more challenging. That ‘single instance’ was barely even classifiable as guiding. He had promptly fainted the moment he gathered all his energy and placed his hand on Jo Jinwoo’s.

‘Team Leader seemed more than just accustomed to kissing; he was practically an expert…’

‘He must have done it many times, right?’

‘I only do indirect guiding, but other people wouldn’t be like that.’

The moment Ryu Yishin, who had approached without hesitation or reservation and brazenly delved between his lips, vividly returned to his mind, Jung Hanseol could no longer bear it and shot up from his seat. He feared that if he remained seated, his entire body would be forever consumed by these tingling sensations and intense heat.

‘Something has come up that I want to confirm.’

Jung Hanseol paced in a circle, calmly replaying Ryu Yishin’s words in his mind. Considering the conversation about guiding side effects while kneading his palm, and the command to open his mouth for guiding, it seemed clear that the ‘confirmation’ was indeed related to guiding.

‘Could it be that Team Leader simply wanted to assess the extent of my guiding ability?’

A sudden thought flashed through his mind, and for a moment, a spark of life returned to Jung Hanseol’s eyes. If Ryu Yishin had simply initiated the kiss to test his guiding abilities, there would be no need to fret and overthink it like this.

Guides were required to undergo tests disguised as examinations before joining a company, and according to internal regulations, they also had to be re-evaluated for their rank once a year. He had even heard that some teams had unannounced ability tests conducted by their team leader. However, Team Leader Joo, a far more lenient person compared to Ryu Yishin, had never pressured Jung Hanseol with such tests.

As this plausible theory gained traction, a faint sigh escaped Jung Hanseol’s lips.

‘Team Leader must have simply wanted to assess my capabilities.’

‘He’d experienced indirect guiding, so he must have been curious about how much more I could do with physical contact.’

‘That’s why he held my hand, kneaded it, and finally, even kissed me…’

……

‘If only I could just think of it that way and move on.’

‘Then everything would be peaceful.’

Yet, the heat on his face refused to subside; instead, it blazed even hotter, as if fuel were being frantically added to a fire.

Perhaps it was the chilling thought that someday, something more than a kiss might occur. The heat seemed to spread further throughout his entire body. Worrying about an event that hadn’t even happened yet made his head spin.

He squeezed his eyes shut and stomped his feet in an attempt to shake off the unforgettable sensations, but to no avail. The harder he tried, the more vivid that fleeting moment became.

‘There was a strange, sticky sound, it seemed…’

‘I couldn’t breathe and didn’t know what to do, and Team Leader seemed to pull me closer by the nape…’

‘Team Leader’s hand was cold, but his breath, unlike his hand, was incredibly hot…’

“Why are you so distracted when you’re alone? You’re making a racket.”

Ah…

Far from escaping his past memories, he was drowning in them, flailing, when a chilling voice suddenly reached his ears. He quickly turned his head to the source of the sound, spotting Ryu Yishin leaning against the doorframe.

“Are you just going to stand there?”

“Ah… No, no… I’ll sit… I apologize…”

Ryu Yishin, arms crossed, watched Jung Hanseol’s flustered state with an disapproving gaze before walking over and seating himself at his desk. Unlike Jung Hanseol, who awkwardly touched his still-heated neck, Ryu Yishin’s complexion and expression were entirely normal, as if nothing had happened. He seemed to have completely erased the events of a couple of hours prior from his memory.

“Why are you staring? Do you have something to say?”

Holding a tablet, Ryu Yishin glanced at something on its screen as he indifferently posed the question to Jung Hanseol. Jung Hanseol, who had been mesmerized by Ryu Yishin’s striking features, found his mind jolted awake as if he’d been doused with cold water, and his shoulders twitched.

“Oh, no… not that…”

……

“…Then, I’ll take my leave… I apologize…”

After uttering a somewhat deflated reply, he immediately felt embarrassed, as if confirming that he alone had been making a fuss. Though his heart still pounded wildly, overtly announcing its presence, Jung Hanseol gradually began to regain his composure.

Swallowing dryly, Jung Hanseol quickly bowed before hastily exiting Ryu Yishin’s office. There was no reason for him to remain, and Ryu Yishin’s words had sounded like a dismissal, implying he should leave if he had nothing more to say.

……

Team members, who had gradually filled their seats, watched Jung Hanseol with unreadable expressions before quickly averting their gazes. Easily discerning their swiftly scattering stares, Jung Hanseol, feeling utterly drained, trudged weakly towards his own desk.

His team members remained indifferent to him, the team leader was as cold and gruff as ever, and the suffocating silence and stillness made him acutely aware of his own breathing.

It seemed it would take an exceptionally long time to fully adapt to this place.