Chapter 24: Quintuplets, Protagonists, and a Duke’s Dilemma

Quintuplets?! The mere thought of a single troublesome child was enough to send Su Liyue and Ye Xingchen soaring to the heavens.

After all, an old saying in the cultivation world went: true love blossomed between Dao companions, while children were merely unexpected tribulations.

“Qingqing, your imagination is wider than a spatial rift.”

Su Liyue was utterly speechless.

Truly, she was a best friend from another world.

Mu Wanqing, however, spoke with earnestness:

“If five is too many… then three would be just right for a game of ‘Fight the Landlord’!”

“Is this really a question of numbers?!” Su Liyue frantically tugged at her hair, “It’s simply impossible—”

She slammed the brakes on her words just before they left her lips.

‘She couldn’t very well say, ‘We’re two souls in one body; having a child would trigger a cosmic bug,’ could she?’

Jiuwu, the phoenix, had already conjured a ‘Child-Rearing Cost List’ in the air with chaotic flames:

Milk powder x N cans (Note: may need to be phoenix-fire-fed)

Diapers x N dozen (Annotation: sterilize with magic of nothingness)

School district house x 1 (Crucial: must include anti-explosion barrier)

“In any case—!”

Su Liyue swatted away Jiuwu’s ‘Child-Rearing Cost List’ with a decisive hand, declaring emphatically:

“Qingqing, Ye Xingchen and I haven’t even reached legal marriageable age yet!”

She pointed to her flat stomach, “Besides, I haven’t even had my period yet. Didn’t your mother tell you what that implies?”

Thank the heavens for Earth’s s*x education classes!

As long as she maintained this state, the ‘baby-making plan’ could be postponed indefinitely.

‘Wait, didn’t this thought feel a little like exploiting a glitch? Or perhaps, the low birth rate in the Spirit Realm was related to this very issue?!’

Mu Wanqing, however, dejectedly wrung her fingers:

“But I’ve already thought of names… Ye Xiaoxing, Su Xiaoyue, Ye Xiaochen…”

“Stop! Your naming skills are even worse than Jiuwu’s!” Su Liyue’s scalp tingled.

Jiuwu, the phoenix, indignantly puffed out a string of fiery characters:

[Clearly, ‘Ye Fenghuang’ (TL Note: ‘Ye Phoenix’) is the most imposing name I came up with!]

Then, under Su Liyue’s withering glare, it quickly changed its display to ‘Academic Discussion’.

“To put it simply, and to put it complexly! There’s no necessary causal relationship between marriage and having children…”

‘Unless the male body were to give birth.’

This dangerous thought sent a shiver down her own spine, primarily because it reminded her of an old Arnold Schwarzenegger movie where a man gave birth, and the final scene was simply unbearable to behold.

“This is a fundamental human right!” Su Liyue declared, raising her index finger and invoking modern Earth theories.

Mu Wanqing, however, suddenly grew teary-eyed:

“Yueyue, are you… are you planning to freeload off Ye Xingchen’s body?!”

“Pfft—!”

‘I’m freeloading off myself again?!’

Jiuwu immediately curled its wings into a megaphone:

[Chirp! Chirp chirp chirp!]

It was practically screaming, ‘Scumbag woman! Sleep with him and run off!’

Jiuwu even thoughtfully spelled out the characters for ‘Heartless Man’ in flames in the air, complete with a weeping emoji.

Su Liyue: “……”

‘Was it still not too late to explain the truth of ‘two bodies, one soul’?’

“Qingqing, it’s a good thing we’re in the protagonist’s seat, otherwise, by tomorrow, the whole school would be buzzing with ‘Shocking! The Aloof Campus Belle Wants to Be the Magic World’s Number One Scumbag Woman!'”

Mu Wanqing tilted her head:

“Protagonist’s seat?”

“It’s that spot…”

Su Liyue drew a glowing schematic diagram in the air with her magic wand, “the magical location in the back-left corner of the classroom, which comes with a built-in ‘bystander-ignoring barrier.’ Of course, this buff is ineffective against the female protagonist.”

The laws of anime protagonist state:

1. The very last row on the far left.

2. A tree’s shadow cast overhead.

3. Automatic immunity to teacher’s questions.

As if to prove her point, the instructor on the podium scanned the entire class, but his gaze seemed to snag as it passed over them:

“Uh… the student with their hand raised, please answer!”

Yet, no one had raised a hand.

Jiuwu crouched on the grass, etching a tally mark (TL Note: A common Chinese character ‘正’ used for counting, where each stroke represents one count, forming the character ‘正’ for five counts.) with its claws:

[Times ignored today: +1]

***

Instructor’s Office

“Sit.” The instructor locked the door with a flick of his wrist, and a magical barrier instantly enveloped the room.

He fixed his gaze on Ye Xingchen’s eyes:

“Now, tell me the truth, what exactly happened just now?”

Ye Xingchen blinked innocently:

“Perhaps Senior Xiao ate incompatible foods for breakfast? Back in my hometown, they say dragon fruit with milk can cause diarrhea…”

“Bang!” The instructor slammed a fist onto the desk:

“Do you take me for a three-year-old apprentice?!”

‘Ye Xingchen sneered inwardly.’

‘This was a common interrogation room tactic: a confined space, psychological pressure.’

‘Unfortunately, they utterly failed to grasp that before an absolute disparity in strength, even a Duke’s title was nothing more than…’

‘Moreover, how could Ye Xingchen not have divined the instructor’s true intentions?’

‘He merely wished to intimidate an answer out of him, ideally coercing a confession from his own lips.’

‘After all, most students harbored an instinctive fear of their academy instructors.

And while the magical barrier, once activated, outwardly served to prevent outsiders from prying, human hearts were unfathomable; who knew what schemes lurked beneath the surface?’

‘Furthermore, the troublemaker was, after all, a Duke’s son. Whether a Duke’s power and influence were sufficient to make even the Starry Firmament Academy, the cradle of magic, wary, remained an open question.’

“But Instructor, as you saw, I was merely standing there. I had no time to act, nor did I even draw my staff.” Ye Xingchen continued to play the fool.

‘Since the other party lacked evidence, no matter how much he bluffed and blustered, putting on a show to scare a child…’

‘If he ignored him, what could he possibly do?’

“Ye Xingchen. Do you truly believe I care about Xiao Qicai’s minor injuries?” The instructor spoke, feigning a terrifying demeanor he clearly believed to be effective.

Ye Xingchen’s brow twitched almost imperceptibly.

“However, the Duke’s Residence just donated a magic crystal library to the academy this year. Now, tell me…”

“Who is the influential figure standing behind you?”

‘So that was it.’

Ye Xingchen suddenly understood.

‘This old fox likely cared little for the truth of the matter, as the incident had already occurred. Instead, he was assessing Ye Xingchen’s potential utility.’

‘After all, someone who could utterly crush a Duke’s son and emerge unscathed either possessed an even more formidable background, or…’

“Me? I suppose I’m nothing special,” Ye Xingchen replied with a casual tone, as if merely discussing the weather,

“However, Su Liyue has a master standing behind her. As for his exact strength, I’m afraid that’s confidential. But what I do know is that he dotes on this precious disciple of his above all else.”

“A mere Duke’s son, daring to scheme against his disciple?”

He let out a soft chuckle, his eyes glinting with amusement.

“I’d wager that within the next two days, the Duke himself will be knocking on her door to apologize.”

The instructor’s pupils constricted, as his mind raced through the powerful figures in the Aetherland Empire capable of making a Duke bow his head.

Aside from the Emperor and a few Imperial Princes, there were only the three Saint Archmages.

Yet, one of them resided permanently in the royal palace, while the other two were notoriously elusive, and he had never heard of any of them taking a female disciple…