Chapter 33: The Perfectionist Psychopath

“I saw it while I was running away earlier—it’s a 3D object shaped like a cage. Looks like it can be touched or interacted with.”

“Whoa! As expected of our Noona! Your observation skills are amazing!”

“Should we try interacting with it on the next run then? Or keep focusing on dodging?”

Seong-jin, who had become surprisingly accustomed to the banter between AngelA and the Net-kama, asked about the strategy as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Sephiroth crossed his arms and replied indifferently:

“If anyone triggers a wipe, I’ll kill you.”

“Aww, our Sephiroth is saying mean things again.”

AngelA jumped in to shield Seong-jin before he could start shaking. Thanks to the cute weasel, Seong-jin seemed fine, but I had a bad habit of needing to throw in a petty comment in these situations.

“You’re the one who just triggered it.”

“It seems our Bluey misses the taste of my axe.”

Shouldn’t he worry about his own head before breaking mine? I gave him a cheeky grin. It was hilarious to see the hand gripping his axe trembling slightly. Just as I was about to tease him further…

THUD. The sound of a door closing echoed behind us. The drab scenery transformed back into the flamboyant banquet hall.

The second attempt had begun.

The second run was much smoother than the first. Everyone seemed to have found their rhythm after that initial brawl, and miraculously, we cleared the first phase without any casualties. The second phase, where our appearances changed, wasn’t too difficult either. This time, Sephiroth was wearing the Mermaid’s skin. After joyfully pummeling the tin can wearing Sephiroth’s face, the third phase started.

“Everyone, take your positions.”

Following Sephiroth’s orders, we moved in unison. I took West, Seong-jin took South, AngelA took East, and Gyu-tae took North. Sephiroth took the role of keeping the central pavilion and the Slug in check.

The moment we got into position where the Bagua were expected to spawn, the final phase kicked off. The Slug smashed the zither against its knee, and the pavilion surged toward us, its lanterns bobbing. While dodging incoming attacks and looking for an opening, the Bagua symbols finally shimmered into existence.

Just as Gyu-tae had described, they were objects carved like iron bars. The Bagua engraved on each side glowed brilliantly.

“I’m starting the attack!”

Gyu-tae was the first to act. Bang, bang! Gunshots rang out, followed immediately by Sephiroth’s voice.

“Black fire is on in the pavilion.”

Turning my head, I saw the interior of the pavilion flickering with a gloomy black light. I wasn’t sure if that ominous glow was meant to be attacked or not. Sephiroth also tilted his head in confusion before slamming his axe into one of the pavilion’s pillars.

CRASH!

The axe blade embedded itself into the pillar with a violent sound.

With that as the signal, we all attacked the Bagua simultaneously. Seong-jin used his greatsword, AngelA used his cards, and Gyu-tae destroyed his with bullets. Shards breaking off from the pavilion attacked the three of them like crazy as if they had pulled aggro, but they managed to dodge well.

The problem was me. No matter how much I hit these iron bars with my sword, I was dealing zero damage.

“Hey!”

I urgently called out to Sephiroth. He turned his head after dodging the Slug’s threatening attack by a hair’s breadth.

“What?”

“Switch!”

Whatever the case, the Bagua had to be destroyed to see if this was the right path. In that sense, a spoon-killer who only deals 1 damage was not suited for this job.

Understanding my point immediately, Sephiroth veered toward me. The enraged Slug slithered after him. The Slug’s movement was average, but the way the pavilion followed behind it, narrowing the space, was intimidating.

“I destroyed mine!”

Meanwhile, Gyu-tae—the primary dealer—was the first to break his Bagua. The Slug roared and began moving toward him. Seeing a pale-faced Gyu-tae trying to escape, Sephiroth hurriedly changed direction. He and I both slammed our weapons into the pavilion.

But the aggro pulled toward Gyu-tae wouldn’t budge. The space in the North was gradually being compressed by the pavilion.

“Run!”

I yelled, but even I could see it wasn’t a situation one could easily escape. It was as if the game had decided Gyu-tae must die; every attack was pinpointed at him. Eventually, Gyu-tae met his end, wrapped tightly in the beaded curtains.

Immediately after, the pavilion filled with red light. An instant-death move was fired at each of us. Failure number two.

“Everyone, take your positions.”

For the third try, Sephiroth was West, Seong-jin South, AngelA East, and Gyu-tae North. This time, I was in the center, tasked with drawing the aggro of the pavilion and the Slug. It was the only way to ensure the Bagua got destroyed. While dodging attacks and searching for an opening, the Bagua symbols appeared again.

“Nothing unusual here.”

“The Bagua symbols are flashing in a specific order. Shouldn’t we check that?”

“Tell me when to attack!”

“Noona, fighting!”

Sephiroth, Seong-jin, Gyu-tae, and AngelA all shouted their respective bits.

I stepped on falling roof tiles, hopping up to inspect the pavilion’s structure. It wasn’t easy drawing the Slug’s aggro while meticulously checking the pillars, railings, windows, and door handles. Every time the Slug swung its half-broken zither with its massive mucous-covered limbs, lanterns flew at me, making it chaotic.

When I tilted my head back as far as it would go, I saw something.

“There’s a pattern on the ceiling!”

“A pattern?”

“I think we have to combine the Bagua symbols! I’ll call them out!”

Four trigrams were drawn on the pavilion’s ceiling.

“First: Long-Long-Long! Next: Short-Short-Long! Then: Long-Short-Long! Last: Long-Long-Short!”

I hoped they understood. Since time was tight, I shouted the shorthand and dropped down. A dragon lantern lunged at me with a gaping maw. I stepped on a falling tile and rolled aside, barely avoiding a fire poker that flew in and stabbed the ground next to me.

Talk about brutal.

“Damage isn’t working!” Gyu-tae screamed. While I turned to dodge the Slug’s follow-up, Sephiroth’s loud shout rang out.

“On the count of three, attack in order! Starting with the three long ones! One, two, three!”

THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD!

Four impact sounds echoed through the pavilion like drumbeats. As the symbols shattered, they turned into sharp blades, flying toward the four of them. Sephiroth was fine, hacking them down, but the other three were struggling.

That wasn’t the issue for me. The red light inside the pavilion turned into that gloomy black glow again. I raised my voice:

“Black fire is on in the pavilion!”

It was an ominous color, but better than red, since red was the wipe-out move. Furthermore, the pavilion with the black light began narrowing the distance, targeting me. I raised my sword and struck the pillar.

Shh-tick.

With a sound of cutting through the wind, my blade sank into the pillar.

It felt like stabbing rotten wood. Unlike moments ago when it felt like steel, the pavilion was now as helpless as a wet sponge after the Bagua were broken. The pavilion thrashed, narrowing the space even more, but there was still room to dodge.

A moment later, Sephiroth joined me.

“This isn’t the way.”

With a grumble, he slammed his axe down, and the pavilion began to break with a thunderous crash.

“What?”

“Clearing it like this isn’t the perfect way to clear it.”

“Then what is?”

“There must be a cleaner method.”

Rumble! The pavilion started to collapse. The other three, having barely handled the shards of the Bagua, came over to help tear it down.

Crash! Smash!

At this rate, clearing the final boss was only a matter of time. I was excited, driving my sword into the structure.

Then, watching the pavilion crumble, Sephiroth suddenly stopped swinging his axe.

“What’s wrong?”

“Redo it.”

“What?”

“There’s another clear method besides this. Let’s do it again.”

“Wait, we practically cleared it! Why would you…!”

Without even listening to me, Sephiroth sprinted toward the Slug. Naturally, the lanterns flew at him, and Sephiroth did nothing to avoid them. He began taking continuous burn damage, and then the Slug clubbed him with its massive arm.

“You crazy bastard!”

Sephiroth died. While I stood there in a daze, having stopped my DPS to stare down at him, the half-broken pavilion collided with my body. BOOM. With a massive sound, I died too.

<But why does Sephiroth get so much hate?> I heard he makes dungeons really stressful, but just how bad is he? Does he force people to play like pro-rankers?

[Comments]

Since when did we start using polite honorifics here? ㅡㅡ 2222 Since when honorifics? Anyway, Sephiroth is just on another level lol. I ran a dungeon with Sephiroth exactly once, and fck, I have so much to say. That crazy bastard decided he didn’t like the run and committed suicide right before the clear just to restart. I watched him throw for 10 minutes and then I just Alt-F4’d in rage. └ Look at the level of anger in the comment above lmao. └└ I’m the commenter above. Fck, you guys have to experience it. Imagine your best dealer suddenly suicides right before the final hit because he wants a ‘perfect’ run. Is he some kind of kamikaze pilot? └└└ Lmfao fck ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ └└└ Oh boy ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ └└└ The Nongae Strategy (Double Suicide) ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Does he not get reported to the Sasa-ge (User Report Board)? └ If you search for ‘Sephiroth suicide’ on Sasa-ge, posts pop up occasionally ㅋㅋㅋ └ Fck, he hasn’t even gotten a temp ban yet, what’s the point of the report board? └└ ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ └└ Guys, I told you ㅋㅋㅋㅋ The GMs are pushovers ㅋㅋㅋ They can’t even ban one religious fanatic psychopath ㅋㅋㅋㅋ