Chapter 4: A Budding Magical Boy’s Dilemma

While I could perceive the emotions of others, I found it incredibly difficult to accurately discern my own.

Watanabe Hayato is my closest friend, my best friend.

Expanding on this, our bond is unquestionably friendship.

To put it more plainly, we are good buddies.

Moreover, it is a bond so close we could swap underwear, though after junior high, Hayato suddenly shot up in height, making his clothes too big for me.

‘Hmm, I am just saying this to remind myself of my true feelings for Hayato.’

I like girls; there is no doubt about that.

If Shiraishi Kisa didn’t have someone she liked, I would like Shiraishi Kisa.

Of course, this is merely a simple example; being able to witness a beautiful girl and a handsome boy fall in love from such close proximity would also fulfill my wish.

After all, from the day I chose to become a gloomy otaku, a sparkling, rose-tinted youth ceased to have any connection with me.

Games, anime, manga, novels—these were all the weapons I had to fend off such a lonely youth.

If there was anyone else, it was Hayato; he often played games with me, mostly shooting games.

Thinking about it, Galgames (TL Note: A genre of Japanese video games centered around interacting with attractive female characters, often with romance options) probably are not suitable for two people to play together. Wouldn’t it be incredibly awkward if a lewd scene suddenly popped up?

Two men together, looking at each other awkwardly.

But, then again, thinking carefully, if it were a boy and a girl, then Hayato and I are, without a doubt, by the strictest definition, undeniably—

Childhood friends!

In anime, according to current trends, wouldn’t I be destined to be the ‘losing dog’ (TL Note: ‘Haiken,’ a Japanese slang term referring to a character, usually female, who loses in love, often to a rival) character?

‘My thoughts are a bit chaotic. Why am I thinking about this?’

Outside the window, lightning flashed and thunder rumbled. The monstrous entity named ‘Yin Yi’ (TL Note: A term suggesting gloom or shadow) had been eliminated, but there were no signs of the nightmare collapsing, indicating that Shiraishi Kisa was still fighting.

Then, isn’t this my only chance?

To hold Hayato’s hand.

Once we return to reality, and it is no longer a dream, then I can only sling an arm around Hayato’s shoulder!

“Wait, what am I thinking?!”

My fingertips brushed Hayato’s hand, and I suppressed this impulse with immense willpower.

Upon closer inspection, Hayato really is quite handsome, isn’t he?

He has well-defined features, always carries a casual smile when speaking, and appears somewhat laid-back, but in serious situations, he becomes very earnest.

On the basketball court, the moment the game whistle blew, it was as if he transformed into a different person, and at the same time, the screams of the female students below reached their highest decibel.

I once found myself squeezed among the girls in the class because there was no space on the boys’ side.

Later, when Hayato and I returned home, my ears were still ringing.

This is Watanabe Hayato, the super ‘riajuu’ (TL Note: A Japanese slang term for a person who lives a fulfilling real-life, often implying a social life, romantic relationships, and success, contrasting with an otaku) of Shinonome High School, second year.

No matter what, we are good friends. Even if this is a dream, and the other person is not conscious, I do not want to do something so strange to Hayato.

Ultimately, it is I who have become very strange, isn’t it?

The small black cat meticulously licked its fur, seemingly paying no attention to my actions.

“Um, what should I call you from now on?”

To distract myself and stop looking at Hayato, I asked it.

Like a tiny stuffed animal, exquisite and cute, a kitten that girls would find adorable.

“Lingling, you can call me by that name.”

“How cute, did you choose it yourself?”

My voice right now sounds nothing like Aoyama Ren; it is like a thirteen or fourteen-year-old girl. Speaking of which, I haven’t really looked at myself closely yet.

However, there are no mirrors around, and the outside scenery is very dark, so I will just wait until next time.

“…No, a fairy’s name is very long, and it would sound strange translated into human words. So someone once gave me this name.”

“It’s a beautiful name.”

Lingling carried a sorrowful emotion, like summer passing, autumn arriving, and a favorite flower gradually withering.

It is not just humans who have such complex emotions, is it? Do all communicable life forms feel this way?

So, what about my feelings at this moment?

Burning.

Viscous.

Sweet.

Completely different from Hayato’s feelings for me, this emotion seemed to grow more pronounced with each heartbeat.

After becoming a magical girl, this feeling was still unclear, but just now, after using magic, this impulse became difficult to suppress as time passed.

“…”

‘A small touch wouldn’t hurt, would it? Hayato wouldn’t hate me for it.’

A drop of water fell onto Hayato’s school uniform. I slowly extended my finger, his face reflected in my pupils.

Just as my finger was about to touch Hayato’s body, a layer of cool water seemed to drip into the center of my brain, and a chilling sensation spread throughout my body—

I woke up.

My vision heightened, my body still in the posture of leaning against the wall. The chirping of animals outside the window grew clearer, followed by the sound of desks and chairs moving as people woke up in the classroom.

‘Unwilling…’

‘Wronged…’

Like a child who did not get the toy they wanted, as if angry, throwing a tantrum at their mother.

Returning to my seat in class 2-3, I took out my phone and looked at myself in the front-facing camera.

Dorky black-rimmed glasses, messy hair. On closer inspection, I was actually quite refined.

However, the aura I exuded was like someone who would turn into a bookworm just by holding a book.

Looking at my phone, it would make people think, “Does he have a different persona on anonymous forums?”

This is me, Aoyama Ren, someone who decided not to interact with humans, yet still yearned to be human.

The midday nightmare left few memories for most of my classmates. Only during class breaks would I occasionally hear a few jokes.

‘My favorite kitten died.’

‘Lost Mom’s favorite scarf.’

‘Wrote off-topic for the final exam essay.’

‘Came to school and realized I forgot my homework.’

The most mundane fears of an ordinary student.

Is that so? So not everyone experiences such despair.

During the last period, a small black cat swaggered into the classroom from the doorway. Its nimble movements and fluffy cuteness should have caused a stir in the class.

But no one seemed to see it. Only I stared at it in surprise. Then, it jumped onto my desk, curled up, and looked at me with its brown eyes.

“Lingling?”

Casually glancing around, I wrote these two words on a blank homework sheet.

Like a human, it nodded and spoke:

“Come with me to a place after school.”

A childlike voice, distinctly different from the national language teacher speaking at the podium. The surrounding classmates were diligently taking notes or thinking about problems projected on the screen.

“They can’t hear?”

I continued to write my question. Although I was slacking off in class, no one would know. This novel feeling was a first.

“Yes, theoretically, for humans, only those with the aptitude to become a magical girl can perceive fairies. At most… plus newborn babies.”

“Why?”

“In the words of the Fairy Kingdom, only special maidens with pure hearts, and lives untouched by the taint of knowledge, possess the ability to live in the true world.”

“But I’m a boy.”

As I wrote these words, Hayato’s figure lying on the chair, his face, and the flutter in my heart reappeared in my mind.

The emotions gradually dissipated, but it was the first time I had ever experienced such feelings.

Because of this, I did not even dare to seek out Hayato during the break to ask if he felt anything unusual.

I will ask him when we get home; after all, we are family living under the same roof.

“I’m also very curious, so I’m still thinking about how to report your existence to the Fairy Kingdom.”

“Will I… be sliced up for research?”

“…”

The small black cat gave me a side-eye.

A look of exasperation could actually be seen on the face of the small animal.

“The enemies of fairies are monstrous entities, or, more accurately, the beings that cause them. Although you are very special, if the higher-ups find out, at most it will just mean I have to write a few more reports for the Royal Court Institute…”

“Is it troublesome?”

“Yes, I hate writing reports, especially for the Institute.”

‘Hmm, I completely understand. It’s like suddenly having a lot more homework than other students; anyone would feel unbalanced.’

Speaking of which, going to tutoring classes might also be asking for trouble, wouldn’t it?

But if I do not work hard, by third year, if my grades are still around the 50th rank in the grade, I definitely will not be able to get into the same university as Hayato.

Looking out the window, construction sounds came from the sports field. The maintenance team had already arrived to repair the lawn and damaged sports facilities.

I still found it hard to believe that such a terrifying monstrous entity could be easily defeated by Shiraishi Kisa, who transformed into a magical girl.

Now, I even possessed such power myself, or at least, the potential for it.

After my consciousness returned to reality, a delicate silver bracelet adorned with crimson jewels had appeared on my wrist. This was the item for transforming into a magical girl after signing the contract with Lingling.

It was exquisitely crafted, giving off an expensive impression. Since it did not fit my otaku aesthetic, I tucked it into my pocket.

Come to think of it, had my wish to become a magical girl actually come true? The power to protect Hayato and those I cared about.

In the battle against the monstrous entity ‘Yin Yi,’ only Shiraishi Kisa directly engaged the enemy. I had no way of understanding my own abilities.

The only information I had was that the costume was a Gothic black dress, the weapon was a red scythe that was very sharp and could easily sever the monstrous entity’s arm.

Also, my movement speed was very fast, and my jumping ability was strong. I recalled the surprise attack operation at noon; I had not used much strength, but after opening the window and standing on the sill, a single powerful leap sent me flying out like a bullet.

—That was too reckless.

But it is precisely because of things like that that magical girls can bring about miracles, isn’t it?

Thinking this, I suddenly felt my phone vibrate in my pants pocket. I usually keep it on silent mode; apart from special contacts I have set reminders for, I only browse other messages when I have free time.

I secretly unlocked the screen and glanced at it. It was a message from Hayato.

– When student council duties are over, want to head back together? Mom said she made something delicious for us for the first day of school.

– Okay, I’ll come find you at the student council then.

Under the desk, I quietly typed and sent my reply. It quickly turned to ‘read’.

– Oh right, are you joining the manga club?

I had completely forgotten. I had just casually agreed at the time. I had only arrived in the new class this morning, my mental state was tense, and then so many things happened at noon.

– I’ll go check it out.

I followed it with an embarrassed emoji.

I have so many emojis on my phone. Even though I do not always use them, I bought them because they are so cute.

– You know, right? Shiraishi Kisa is the president of the manga club this year.

– Sorry, I just found out…

That explains why Shiraishi Kisa was so well-informed about the manga club’s activities.

I had thought a beautiful girl with such an invincible youthful aura would join a more ‘riajuu’ club, like the drama club, choir, or brass band, etc.

– After school, should I tell her? Shiraishi Kisa sits near me.

The one closest to the water gets the moon first (TL Note: A Chinese idiom meaning ‘proximity to power/opportunity brings advantage’). Shiraishi Kisa, it seems even fate is helping your romance this time.

– I’ll go submit my application to the manga club!

– Really?

A dolphin emoji looking confused.

In response, I sent a cartoon kitten frantically nodding.

It seems Hayato still thought I wanted to remain a member of the ‘go-home club’ (TL Note: A Japanese term for students who do not join any after-school clubs and go straight home). So I will tell him about joining the tutoring class tonight when we get home.

After club activities, I will continue studying at the cram school.

Without realizing it, I am also charging headlong down the path of a ‘riajuu’ (TL Note: A Japanese slang term for a person who lives a fulfilling real-life, often implying a social life, romantic relationships, and success, contrasting with an otaku).

However, after school, the place Lingling took me was none other than the manga club room.

Since no one answered after I knocked, at Lingling’s signal, I pulled open the classroom door. With a “Excuse me,” I looked inside.

The bookshelves were packed with all sorts of manga, as were the tables, and even the floor. Some sketch drafts were stacked in a corner, and on the cabinet under the window were various rulers, scissors, and pencils.

Sitting in the very center of the classroom was a girl with a refined appearance, undoubtedly the incredibly popular Shiraishi Kisa. Yet, she was the only one there, quietly reading a manga.

Even so, her quiet demeanor still exuded the air of a literary girl. But for some reason, upon seeing me, she hurriedly put away the manga in her hands, her fingers curling around the hair falling on her face.

‘Embarrassed? Shy? Panicked? I could read Shiraishi Kisa’s emotions, but why?’

“Little Ren, this is Magical Girl Sakura Tsui, and she will be your future companion.”

Through our conversations this afternoon, Lingling’s address for me had changed to Little Ren. Although I did not think the “Little” was necessary, according to Lingling, it sounded cuter this way.

‘Never mind, I am not that particular about names.’

Besides, it has been a long time since anyone called me that.

I already knew that Shiraishi Kisa was Magical Girl Sakura Tsui, so I was not surprised.

The small black cat on the manga pile wagged its tail.

Shiraishi Kisa and I looked at each other.

‘Why did the air suddenly become awkward? Wasn’t I here to submit my club application?’

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