Chapter 4: The Emperor I Swore to Protect

Hyeop Ryeo.

The name that became both my very first memory…

And the last memory I wished to keep.

His Majesty had been kind by nature.

If he saw a child crying, he would comfort them until the tears stopped.

If an impoverished old man begged for food, he would have the granary filled for him.

I had often reminded him that he could not possibly care for every subject in the empire.

He would simply smile.

Then continue helping anyone in need who crossed his path.

It was hardly beneficial for an emperor to behave so.

And yet…

I could never bring myself to stop him.

Because it was that very kindness that had stolen my heart.

“Are you lost?

I’ll take you back to your father, so stop crying.”

I was seven years old.

Lost inside the Imperial Palace after becoming separated from Father, I had cried helplessly until His Majesty found me.

As he wiped away my tears, he spoke those gentle words.

I had cried so much my swollen eyes could barely open.

Yet even now…

I remembered his young face with perfect clarity.

As vividly as though I had seen it yesterday.

His face had been fair and radiant.

Though we were both only children, he had been a head taller than I was.

At the time, he had seemed impossibly dependable.

As though, if I let go…

I would lose him forever.

Without thinking, I grabbed his hand.

Back then, I had entered the palace because I had learned my letters unusually early for my age and had been chosen to assist the Crown Prince with his studies.

To a child…

The Imperial Palace was unimaginably vast.

Towering.

Terrifying.

And Father’s stern strides had always been unbearably fast.

I lost sight of him.

Then found myself standing alone in the unfamiliar palace, sobbing my heart out.

A frightened child who simply could not stop crying.

Anyone else might have found me troublesome.

But the young Crown Prince never showed the slightest hint of annoyance.

He simply held my hand.

In that enormous palace…

He was the only familiar presence I had.

I did not even know who he was.

Even so, I refused to let go.

Our joined hands became slick with sweat.

I noticed the displeased looks from the officials attending him.

I was terrified they would pry my fingers away.

Even now…

I can vividly remember clinging desperately to his hand with my tear-stained, sweaty little fingers.

Perhaps…

That was the hand I had never truly released.

From the moment I first held it…

He became my Emperor.

My lord.

My brother.

My friend.

He deserved to stand forever in the brightest place.

He deserved the admiration and reverence of all under heaven.

The man who had personally searched for the father of one lost little boy…

Who had run about beneath the blazing sun until he was drenched in sweat…

Could never be defeated by rebellion.

Could never be remembered in history as a tyrant.

Not while I still drew breath.

Not within the very palace where the seven-year-old me had once walked hand in hand beside him.

That…

Was what this Imperial Palace meant to me.

A sanctuary worth protecting with my life.

Whether then or now…

When night fell, the cries of starlings always echoed through the palace gardens.

I was no longer the seven-year-old child who wandered lost through these halls.

Yet whenever the birds began singing after sunset, His Majesty would always tell me to stay a little longer.

He would even have a palanquin prepared to take me home.

Tonight was no different.

As darkness settled and the starlings began to call, His Majesty set aside his work and smiled warmly at me.

It was a smile that had become an old promise between us.

No words were necessary.

Just as we had done for more than ten years, we brought out paper and ink.

Outside the windows, night swallowed the sky.

Inside, candlelight spread softly through the room.

“Han.”

At his quiet voice, I stopped grinding the ink and looked up.

Seated at the head of the room, His Majesty continued painting orchids.

One hand supported the wrist of the other as his brush glided effortlessly across the paper.

His gaze followed every elegant stroke.

There was nothing left of the little boy I had first met.

Only his gentle eyes…

Still carrying the same quiet kindness.

The baby fat of childhood had long disappeared, leaving behind the handsome features of a grown man.

Sharp.

Yet gentle.

His face possessed a rare harmony of strength and grace.

“You don’t look well.”

“Do I not?”

Feigning ignorance, I brushed the back of my hand across my cheek.

But in truth…

No one knew better than I did.

Lack of sleep had left my complexion as pale as a corpse.

Every meal turned my stomach.

My body had grown so thin that bone showed plainly beneath my skin.

Seeing through my obvious lie, His Majesty finally set his brush aside and turned toward me completely.

Faced with such concern…

I could only smile.

“No.

It isn’t merely your complexion.”

His eyes remained fixed on me.

“Do you know what I think whenever I see you these days?

You look as though a light push would knock you over.

You’ve had me worried.

Is something troubling you?

Has your work become too much?”

He was kind.

Even after more than a decade…

His kindness had never changed.

Its familiarity threatened to unravel the sadness I had worked so hard to suppress.

“What burden could there possibly be?

The weather has simply grown warmer with the changing season.

You know how poorly I tolerate the heat.

It is only natural.

Please don’t trouble yourself over it.”

“I have known you for more than a year or two.”

A trace of disappointment entered his voice.

“You have never looked like this simply because the seasons changed.

Why won’t you tell me the truth?”

But I could not.

I could not reveal something as grave as rebellion without a shred of proof.

I had not uncovered even the faintest thread of a conspiracy.

If I claimed a rebellion would occur simply because I had seen it in a dream…

I would become nothing more than a madman creating the very panic I warned against.

Unable to tell him the truth…

My head lowered of its own accord.

“…”

“Han.”

He knew me too well.

After so many years together…

He knew exactly how easily I would yield if he called my name like that.

He knew how frightened I was.

How desperately I wished to place this unbearable burden upon someone else’s shoulders.

“Don’t try to carry everything by yourself.”

His voice remained as gentle as ever.

“You have me.

Why suffer alone?

You are my person.

Don’t turn me into a scoundrel who accepts your loyalty only to pretend I see nothing.”

My exhausted body…

My fraying mind…

Desperately wanted something to lean upon.

Even lowering himself to plead with me…

His Majesty chose the very words he knew I most wanted to hear.

“Even if what you told me were false…

I would still believe you.

You would never lie without reason.

There must be something behind it.

Whatever you tell me…

I will uncover the truth beyond it.

So tell me, Han.”

Then…

Would it be all right to speak?

If only His Majesty believed me—

“Your Majesty…

The truth is—”

The moment that thought crossed my mind…

I could endure it no longer.

I wanted to cast this burden away.

His persuasion finally broke through my resolve.

Just as I raised my head to tell him everything—

My eyes flew open.

“Ghk…!”

A thin crimson line had appeared across His Majesty’s neck.

Only moments ago, he had been perfectly healthy.

The line slowly widened.

Blood spilled from it in a steady stream.

His eyes lost their light.

His mouth hung open.

Then…

His severed head fell.

Thump.

Roll.

Thump.

Roll.

The head rolled toward me.

Thump.

Roll.

Thump.

Roll.

The severed head rolled closer.

Thump.

Roll.

Thump.

Roll.

Like a ball, it finally came to rest before me.

Tears of blood streamed from its eyes.

It stared directly at me.

The gaze looking upward from the floor…

Was unfamiliar.

No…

It was terrifying.

My entire body shook.

I tried to flee.

I stumbled backward and collapsed onto the floor.

My hair spilled loose.

Every trace of my usual composure vanished.

The trembling would not stop.

It proved how utterly powerless I was before despair.

I could neither flee…

Nor move closer.

Beneath blood-soaked black hair tangled beyond recognition…

The severed head smiled.

It spoke.

“Han.

You killed me.”

“No…

No…”

I wanted to deny it.

More desperately than anything.

I tried to protect you more than anyone else.

For Your Majesty…

This insignificant life of mine meant nothing.

I would gladly have died in your place.

For Your Majesty…

For Your Majesty—

As I denied it with all my heart…

The severed head grinned wider.

“You loved me…

And that is why I died.”

Ah…

I could say nothing.

An eternity of guilt crushed my shoulders.

I could no longer breathe.

So that was it.

It was because of me.

The Devil had said the same thing.

That His Majesty had died because I loved him.

The room spun.

I could no longer support my own weight.

I did not even realize when my forehead struck the floor.

The only thing before me…

Was the smiling severed head.

The instant our eyes met…

My consciousness dissolved into darkness.

I no longer possessed the courage…

The reason…

Or even the right…

To remain in this world.

Without resistance, I sank into immeasurable despair.

Darkness resembled despair.

Neither allowed you to see even a single step ahead.

Both whispered the same temptation.

Give up.

If I simply buried myself in this endless darkness…

Perhaps…

Everything would finally become easier.

The world collapsed into blackness.

“Gasp…!”

My eyes flew open.

Air rushed desperately into my lungs.

Like someone dragged from the depths of a river, I gasped violently for breath.

My trembling eyes searched wildly in every direction.

Before I could even understand where I was…

Or what had happened…

Tears began streaming down my face.

They ran in clear trails over skin drenched with cold sweat.

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