Chapter 4: The Simp’s Dilemma

“Selling hooks?”

Carol’s head tipped to the side, a question etched in her confused expression.

“Cough, cough, it’s nothing…”

‘Damn, I spoke too freely.’

Yalin cleared his throat, swiftly changing the subject.

 “Right, uh, let’s just eat quickly, shall we? Otherwise, the food will get cold, and it won’t taste good anymore.”

“Mm… okay.”

Carol nodded, and though Yalin’s words made no sense to her, she dutifully settled back into her seat across the table.

In truth, she was keenly aware that their family’s meager savings had dwindled to almost nothing half a year prior.

During that harrowing period, the two of them had been forced to cram into a tiny room, barely twenty square meters, enduring a hand-to-mouth existence where their next meal was never guaranteed.

Yet, not so long ago, their circumstances had abruptly taken a turn.

Yalin, who had always been content to fritter away their resources, had, against all odds, begun to earn money!

What’s more, he was earning a considerable sum!

Not only had he moved them into a much larger house, but they even managed to squirrel away a small amount each month.

Such a thing would have been utterly unimaginable in their previous life.

Still, where exactly was all this money coming from?

Carol’s gaze brimmed with curiosity, but Yalin feigned ignorance, slicing his steak into small, manageable pieces before popping them into his mouth.

Though it was merely the cheapest cuts of meat from the market, a night of careful marination, coupled with Carol’s exceptional cooking prowess, had transformed it into something quite delicious.

“So delicious!”

Yalin exclaimed, giving a hearty thumbs-up.

“Really? That’s great!”

A delighted smile bloomed on Carol’s face at the praise, and her earlier questions were temporarily cast aside.

“Hehe, it’s pretty good, isn’t it? It took me ages to master the heat just right!”

“Indeed, you’re truly my amazing sister!”

Yet, no sooner had the words left his lips than Carol, whose face had been beaming with joy moments before, suddenly pouted and puffed out her cheeks in a clear display of annoyance.

“Hm? What’s wrong?”

“Didn’t we agree to call me by my name! I’m not a child anymore!”

“Ah haha… seems so, sorry, Carol.”

Only after he corrected himself did Carol’s smile return.

“That’s more like it!”

“…”

Yalin helplessly scratched his head.

‘What’s gotten into this little one lately?’

‘From what he recalled of the original owner’s memories, he had always called Carol “sister,” and she had never seemed particularly bothered by it.’

‘Yet lately, for reasons unknown, she had suddenly developed a strong aversion to being called “sister,” adamantly insisting he use her given name.’

‘Was she going through puberty?’

‘Yalin simply couldn’t fathom it.’

‘Still, no matter. So be it.’

Having finished his meal and washed the dishes, Yalin made his way to the bathroom, sinking into the wooden tub brimming with hot water.

“Hoo-ah… there’s nothing quite like a good soak!”

A larger house truly made all the difference; though they were still in the slums, and the surroundings were far from ideal, the amenities were quite comprehensive, making things like bathing and cooking remarkably convenient.

Inside the bathroom, plumes of steaming white mist enveloped him, and droplets of water continually trickled down from the stray strands of hair on his forehead.

Recalling Carol’s curious expression, Yalin couldn’t help but let out a sigh.

‘If only she knew the true origin of their newfound wealth, she would likely be utterly devastated.’

Initially, when he first became aware of the peculiar changes in his body, Yalin hadn’t given it much thought.

After all, he had transmigrated his soul; a few unexpected quirks, such as his new body retaining some of its old habits, seemed perfectly excusable, requiring only a period of adjustment.

Yet, it was only later that he truly grasped the complexity of the situation.

He had initially assumed the original owner was merely a slightly deranged simp, only to discover, to his horror, that he was, in fact, a deranged individual who also happened to be a simp!

‘Indeed, this was a sickness! And it needed a cure!’

Yalin could distinctly feel the presence of something within his mind.

He couldn’t name it, nor could he articulate its nature, knowing only that this insidious presence was ceaselessly eroding his consciousness and spirit, compelling him to… love.

Absurd and laughable as it sounded, this was the stark reality.

‘One could only say, truly worthy of being “Jishui” (TL Note: A self-referential, somewhat sarcastic term used by the protagonist, Yalin, to refer to himself or the original owner as a “super handsome guy” or a “collection of handsomeness,” often implying a trope of male leads), to possess such an innate capacity for love.’

In any case, Yalin had attempted numerous methods to break free from its control, yet each attempt had, without exception, ended in failure.

Should he ever defy the powerful urge within him, the surging ‘love’ would lash back like a torrential flood, overwhelming him until he utterly lost his sanity.

A troubled expression settled upon Yalin’s face.

‘What on earth was he to do?’

‘Should he continue to remain at the Magic Academy Branch?’

‘That was utterly impossible; staying by Celeste’s side was a guaranteed path to ruin.’

‘Even if he managed to control himself initially, he would inevitably revert to his old habits of fawning desperately over the protagonist, ultimately being blasted into oblivion.’

‘If he couldn’t afford to provoke her, surely he could at least hide?’

‘Regrettably, that wasn’t an option either.’

‘Setting aside whether the backlash would drive him mad, even if he were to hide, where exactly would he go?’

‘Their family’s savings had long since dwindled to nothing; it was only due to the academy’s vast resources, which provided three filling meals a day, that Yalin had been able to salvage leftovers daily to feed Carol.’

‘Should he withdraw from the academy, the two of them, utterly penniless, would be immediately forced onto the streets to beg for food.’

‘No matter how he viewed it, the road ahead seemed to stretch into an abyss of despair.’

‘Yet, having finally transmigrated, Yalin found himself unwilling to simply surrender.’

Deep in thought, a sudden flash of inspiration struck him.

‘To put it simply, the original owner’s mind was flawed; he felt a profound discomfort if he wasn’t acting as a simp.’

‘And when uncomfortable, he was prone to bouts of madness.’

‘However, there was one crucial detail: the object of his simping wasn’t specifically designated.’

‘The original owner’s unwavering obsession with Celeste stemmed from a childhood affection, making her his sole focus.’

‘But Yalin was different; he felt no particular attachment to Celeste. In fact, he genuinely wished she would stay as far away from him as humanly possible.’

‘After all, the ending was already laid bare, and what’s more, based on years of novel-reading experience, male supporting characters orbiting a ‘Feng Aotian’ (TL Note: A Chinese web novel trope referring to an extremely arrogant, overpowered protagonist, often a ‘chosen one’) protagonist rarely met a good end.’

‘If that was the case, why not simp for others instead of the protagonist?’

‘Since the fate of a simp was inescapable, he might as well embrace it as a profession, even learn to love it.’

‘Indeed, he wouldn’t just simp; he would simp with unparalleled fervor!’

‘I’ll simp for ten of them!’

‘As long as money changed hands, every ounce of emotional value would be delivered flawlessly!’

‘Thus, when presented with the stark choice between sacrificing his dignity and succumbing to starvation, he, without a moment’s hesitation, chose the latter.’

‘It had to be said, despite the original owner’s myriad misdeeds, he had been blessed with a truly magnificent face.’

‘Though his appearance was delicate, reminiscent of a young Nan Liang (TL Note: Refers to Lanling Wang, a historical prince known for his exceptional beauty, often to the point of being mistaken for a woman, but also a formidable warrior), it never veered into excessive effeminacy, instead radiating a perfectly balanced aesthetic.’

‘He was, beyond a shadow of a doubt, an absolute paragon of youthful beauty.’

‘Did they even understand what it meant to possess a ‘Soft Rice Holy Body’ (TL Note: A humorous or sarcastic term in web novels referring to someone naturally gifted at living off the wealth or support of others, typically women)?’

‘And as luck would have it, Ailanmia (TL Note: A fictional location in the story) was a place that had no shortage of women, and even fewer shortages of wealthy individuals.’

‘And so, Yalin made a decision that would surely have his ancestors spinning in their graves—’

‘He sold himself!’

‘All in all, he no longer had to worry about the body’s backlash, nor about financial woes; his life, one might say, was steadily improving, a truly joyous occasion…’

‘My ass it was!’

Yalin slammed his fist down in a fit of anger, sending a spray of water arcing through the air.

‘Humiliating! Utterly humiliating!’

‘For crying out loud, orphaned with an unrelated sister—this was the quintessential protagonist template, wasn’t it?’

‘Why, then, had he been reduced to such a miserable fate, forced to sell himself?’

‘Alas, there was no helping it. In the world of ‘Feng Aotian’ novels, being born the wrong gender was, regrettably, an original sin.’

‘For now, he would simply have to bide his time…’