Chapter 40: The Pervert’s Foot-Washing Water

The sword body of Qizai suddenly vibrated with excitement. “I understand now!”

“It turns out that the Yaochi Saintess’s foot-washing water, which vanished so abruptly back then, was actually packed up and taken away by Master using this ‘Magic of Nothingness’!”

A profound silence instantly descended upon the scene.

“Packing… foot-washing water? And all of it?!” Mu Wanqing’s eyes widened in disbelief, her gaze toward Ye Xingchen instantly shifting to one of profound complexity. ‘What caliber of pervert,’ she mused, ‘would even conceive of such an act!’

The sheer absurdity of the scene was so overwhelming that even Jiuwu’s elegant tail feathers stiffened, suspended mid-air.

“Qi! Zai!” Su Liyue and Ye Xingchen exploded into action simultaneously, one lunging to cover the sword hilt, the other to block the sword tassel.

A vein throbbed visibly on Ye Xingchen’s forehead. “Do you truly take me for a pervert?!” he fumed. “Who in their right mind would ever collect such…”

Su Liyue, her face flushed, quickly interjected, “Precisely! If one were to collect anything, it would be… cough cough!” Realizing her unwitting blunder, she abruptly halted her words.

It was evident that under stress, while simultaneously controlling two bodies, her own speech became somewhat muddled and contradictory.

Yet, Qizai, with an air of absolute righteousness, conjured a shimmering illusion of the Yaochi Saintess, placing her ethereal hands on her hips.

“I have evidence!” she declared. “That time, right after Sister finished bathing in the spirit spring, an entire pool of water disappeared in a blink! And who was the only one around then, secretly… cough cough, cultivating nearby? Master!”

A bead of cold sweat trickled down Ye Xingchen’s temple. “That water,” he insisted, “was clearly recycled automatically by the spirit spring itself!”

“Oh, what a coincidence that would be, wouldn’t it~” Qizai countered playfully. “Master had just finished uttering ‘creating something out of nothing’…”

Abruptly, she manifested a miniature bucket, within which a suspicious liquid sloshed tantalizingly. “And behold, ‘something’ appeared, didn’t it~”

“What the hell kind of ‘creating something out of nothing’ is that?!” Su Liyue and Ye Xingchen exclaimed in perfect unison.

“I’ll stick an ‘impeccable’ label on you!”

“So…” Mu Wanqing suddenly took a cautious half-step backward, her eyes narrowing with suspicion. “What exactly do you intend to do with foot-washing water? Don’t tell me… you mean to drink it?!”

“Pfft—” Jiuwu, who had been leisurely sipping water, promptly erupted in a spray, creating a miniature rainbow in the air.

“Qingqing! Don’t pay any mind to Qizai’s outrageous claims! Xingchen is a perfectly respectable person!” Su Liyue exclaimed, her voice laced with desperation.

Qizai seized the perfect opportunity to deliver a final, cutting blow. “Mm-hmm~” she purred mischievously. “When Master gets truly serious… well, he might not even be considered a person anymore~”

“Qi! Zai!” Ye Xingchen roared, his hand clamping around the sword hilt as streaks of lightning crackled in his palm. “It seems you’re eager to experience the sensation of ‘reforging’, aren’t you?”

Qizai promptly manifested a white flag of surrender, yet emblazoned stubbornly on the sword hilt, a defiant message appeared:

[Evidence Record]

1. Peeking at foot washing ✓

2. Taking bathwater ✓

3. Slicing a lotus with one sword ✓

Conclusion: A Respectable Pervert

“Yueyue…” Mu Wanqing’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “I genuinely have to wonder now, what exactly did you ever see in Ye Xingchen?”

“No! Qingqing, listen to me, I can explain! How could Xingchen possibly do such a thing! If he truly wanted to drink… Ptooey, ptooey, ptooey!”

She clapped a hand over her mouth, narrowly avoiding being led down a ridiculous path by the others.

“Cough, cough…” Ye Xingchen cleared his throat with a strategic air. “In any case, ‘creating something out of nothing’ isn’t what you’re imagining. I wouldn’t stoop to such depravity, unlike a certain Xiao Qicai.”

“Precisely!” Su Liyue eagerly chimed in, bolstering his defense.

“If Xingchen were truly that perverse, I would have long since handed him the script for ‘thirty years Hexi’ (TL Note: A Chinese idiom, ‘sānshí nián hé dōng, sānshí nián hé xī,’ meaning ‘thirty years east of the river, thirty years west of the river,’ implying that fortunes can change dramatically over time, often used in ‘mortify the poor youth’ tropes where a protagonist is scorned but later rises to power and takes revenge. Here, Su Liyue implies she’d cast him as the ‘poor youth’ who gets scorned).

“Never bully a young man in poverty!” Qizai suddenly sprang forth from behind Ye Xingchen, her sword tassel mischievously morphing into a banner emblazoned with “Fiancée Annulment Trope.”

An immediate hush fell over the entire area.

Mu Wanqing blinked slowly. “So… are you all performing some kind of dramatic play?”

Jiuwu, ever-observant, floated over at just the right moment, her tail feathers gracefully inscribing a message:

[Emotional Tips]

[When your best friend starts:

1. Defending her boyfriend ✓

2. Making excuses with unknown plot devices ✓

3. Exhibiting memory confusion ✓

It indicates said best friend is already…

Terminally ill

Immediate isolation recommended

“Qi! Zai!” Ye Xingchen snarled, snatching the sword tassel. “It seems you genuinely wish to be transformed into a toilet brush, don’t you?”

Qizai instantly conjured a pitiful, puppy-eyed emoji:

[Sword Spirit Survival Rules]

Rule One: The Master is Always Right

Rule Two: If the Master is Wrong…

Please refer to Rule One

‘I can’t live like this anymore…’

“Alright, that’s enough of this topic,” Ye Xingchen declared, glancing up at the darkening sky. “Didn’t the dean mention he wanted to speak with us tonight? It’s getting late.”

“Yes, yes, yes!” Su Liyue quickly concurred. “While we still have some time, we should really focus on our practice. And… concerning Qizai, we still need to devise a plausible explanation to present to the dean.”

Qizai suddenly manifested the exquisite, beautiful countenance of the Yaochi Saintess, batting her large, glistening eyes. “Ask me?” she purred. “What could an old geezer possibly ask of me~”

“Cut it out with that act!” Ye Xingchen retorted, long immune to her charms. “There has never been a precedent in this world for a mage to summon a sword, let alone one as sentient as you. At least not within the Aetherland Empire, as far as I know.”

“So…” Qizai’s sword tip swiveled curiously toward herself. “Is that old man intending to interrogate me?”

“What’s there to interrogate about a mere sword like you?” Su Liyue sighed, a hint of helplessness in her tone. “If anyone’s going to be questioned, it’ll be your master, Ye Xingchen. Moreover…”

She gestured around them. “Judging by the reactions of everyone else here, they can’t even perceive your sword spirit form.”

Qizai promptly reverted to her sword form, nudging against Ye Xingchen’s waist. “Then Master must protect me well~ What if they decide to melt me down for research…”

“So now you’re finally scared?” Ye Xingchen retorted testily, giving the sword hilt a light flick. “You seemed quite gleeful when you were ‘creating something out of nothing’ just moments ago, didn’t you?”

Mu Wanqing suddenly raised a hand. “Um… I have a question…”

All three individuals and the single phoenix turned their gazes to her in perfect synchronicity.

“If the dean asks…” She gestured toward Qizai. “Is this considered a familiar, or… a token of love?”

“Qingqing…” Su Liyue sighed, pressing a hand to her forehead. “Your thought process is so erratic, I can barely keep up…”

“Well, what else?” Mu Wanqing shot back, planting her hands firmly on her hips with an air of righteous indignation. “Ye Xingchen is your ‘boyfriend-beast’ after all!”

“Wait a moment…” Su Liyue’s eyes suddenly narrowed. “Why do I get the distinct impression that while you’re calling him a pervert, you’re also eagerly pushing for marriage?”

She fixed her best friend with a suspicious gaze. “You wouldn’t be, by any chance…”

Qizai suddenly manifested a wedding invitation, her sword tassel courteously presenting it to Mu Wanqing. “This young lady wouldn’t happen to be the president of our ‘Star-Moon’ (TL Note: A ship name combining Ye Xingchen (Star) and Su Liyue (Moon)) fan club, would she?”

It became clear that this particular topic was now utterly unavoidable.

Just at that moment, the grand crystal clock in the courtyard suddenly chimed, its six deep, resonant tolls echoing profoundly through the gathering twilight.